Sun, Dec 01, 1996, 09:32 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Good Morning!
Good morning Jason,
I'm having my coffee and just had to say hello. My mom thinks I'm nuts! She says "You two are obsessed! Soon as you get up, throughout the day, just before you go to bed???"
Ok, maybe it is a little obsessive. But I can't help it. You don't find someone this much fun and interesting to talk to all the time. I don't want to let go of a good thing - the hell with what anyone else thinks. She agreed, but also said, “what if he gets sick of hearing/writing you or vice-versa.” So be it then, but I doubt it. (I hope).
> I'm actually thinking the bedliner or the limited slip might be highest.
Go for the limited slip - nothing worse than losing control when you don't want to, especially in rush hour.
> I've got the bed cover on there, but I would hate for it to start rusting. The spray-in bedliners will outlast the truck, and they're not much more expensive than having the bed re-painted.
We don't have the spray-on type up here yet, but I've heard all about it from Mick. He highly recommends it. I made the mistake of not getting a bedliner on the '93. It got pretty scratched up and I was always conscious of it. Other people kept saying "What scratches? Where?" Believe me, I knew where each one was. She was my first truck and I felt obligated to know every square inch. The '95 definitely has a liner and now I don't worry. It's a relief to be able to throw stuff in the back without a second thought.
> The limited slip would be really nice on snow and ice. I suppose I should wait and see how much money I have left after Christmas.
Don't spend too much or you won't be able to come up here. (Just kidding)
> I have all of that stuff (except the scanner), but I just want bigger, faster, and better
Tell me about it!! As soon as I took mine out of the box - IBM came out with the new Aptiva. All black, cordless mouse, etc. etc. etc. When I first saw it in the paper I thought I was going to die. Oh well, I'm happy with this one, but the black one --- Wow!!!
> … skiing… I would hate to find myself in the middle of nowhere and realize that I'm too tired to make it back.
When my dad took me skiing for the first time, I was in exactly that situation. He went out with the ski-doo to make trails and then we headed out. We must have done about 4 miles when he decided we should stop and take a break. Of course the two of us decided to have a smoke. BIG MISTAKE!!!! I had one hell of a time making it back. It was getting dark, and my stepmother was extremely worried about us. Live and learn!
[billiards club]
Unfortunately, you do have to pay by the hour or use the coin-operated tables. It's not too bad and membership is only $11 per year. It's a really classy place called "Blues & Cues[59]". They have a restaurant and bar inside. They also have a large room where they show movies every Sunday night in a bar-type setting. No charge! There's also a resident pro there to help anyone whose interested. Too chicken to ask for help though. We'll go there when you come up. Notice I said when and not if????
[growing up]
See what you've done! Now I have to talk about my childhood. Geez!!
My mom and dad were divorced by the time I was about one year old, and I never met him until I was fifteen. My mom was new to Canada and barely spoke the language. But she always was a true fighter and never allowed anything to block what she had or wanted to do in life. She went to night school to learn to speak better English while she held a job during the day. Once she finished school, she took a night job and brought my grandmother out from Hungary to help look after me. All she wanted to do was give the best possible life that she could. I was the only child and she felt it necessary to constantly move to a better neighborhood and school. This made it very difficult. We moved on an average of once a year, and I was always the "New Kid" at school. She never realized how hard that is on a kid. Not her fault.
This got me in a lot of trouble because I always just wanted to fit in. I ended up getting involved with drugs, etc. Very bad time in my life.
[telephone]
I'm glad you decided to pick it up. Does my name show up on your caller ID? Here we call it Call Display. I just got the latest phone that shows Call Display on Call Waiting. It's pretty good. Then you can decide whether or not you want to answer the 2nd call. I can't help it. Working in communications, I have to have all the latest toys that they come out with. Call Answer, Call Display, Call Waiting, Call Screen, Call Trace, Three-Way Calling, Call Return, Call This, Call That...
[being a Nice Guy]
I'm glad that I ran into a rare one. So that makes me one of the lucky ones!
[my last name]
Kiraly is my name. The other was his. What a relief to have that anchor hanging off the end of my name removed.
No, he's not doing squat! Slacker?? I would have used a much more descriptive term. Why in the world is he so afraid to pick-up his shit? As if I would even waste my time talking to him or wish to see him. My last message to him was that he could pick up his stuff from the upstairs neighbors’. Don't even have to cross my path. Still no word. His mother calls me all the time. She's always been so nice. Now she's disowned her son and wants to claim me. She's also pressuring me to meet other guys and get out in the world. Strange to hear that from her.
Great! Now my mom's doing my dishes. Does this ever end?? I think it's going a be a long time before I let her come back here again. I'm not even going to try to stop her. There's just no point. "Resistance is Futile".
I suppose I should get moving here. She's making me look I'm lazy.
Talk to you soon.
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Sun, Dec 01, 1996, 02:02 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Good Morning!
Good afternoon. I let myself sleep in this morning. It supposedly isn't good for you, but it's hard for me to motivate myself to get out of bed on the weekends.
> I'm having my coffee and just had to say hello. My mom thinks I'm nuts! She says "You two are obsessed! Soon as you get up, throughout the day, just before you go to bed???"
That doesn't even seem to include our midnight conversation. I wonder what she would have thought about that.
> Ok, maybe it is a little obsessive. But I can't help it.
Well, gee, if we run out of things to talk about, I guess we'll have to cut back to only one message per day. We don't seem to be in any imminent danger of that, though.
[truck scratches]
The spray-in type are about twice as expensive, but I'm starting to think it's worth it, especially since my bed is already scratched. Apparently the drop-in type can trap moisture next to the bed and cause rusting if the paint was scratched before you put it in. The spray-in liners will cover up even the worst condition paint without any problems.
>> The limited slip would be really nice on snow and ice. > Don't spend too much or you won't be able to come up here. (Just kidding)
No, I'll just have to wait a little longer before I go up there. That or suffer another summer without A/C. That sounds really unpleasant.
[the new Aptiva PC]
That new Aptiva is a pretty neat machine. It's too bad IBM thinks it's worth so much more money than most of their potential customers are likely to. I do have a black case, keyboard, and mouse. I also painted my floppy drive black to match. The CD player is beige, and the Zip drive is blue, so it does look a little strange.
I felt the same way about the Dakota. About a month after I got the 95, Dodge started showing pictures of the 97. I wouldn't necessarily have bought a 97, but with a new style coming in the dealers were probably trying to get rid of their remaining 96s. I could have probably found a new 96 for not much more than I paid for the used 95. I guess that's the way it goes.
[billiards club]
By the hour is all right. I just don't like by the game because I like to play 9 ball. I don't know if there are any classy places like that around here. Most of the places I've been are either dumps or it's just one or two pool tables thrown into a place as an afterthought. The Union building at the University of Utah is pretty nice, and they charge by the hour. I think you have to be a student, though. Also, there's no alcohol allowed. No smoking either, come to think of it.
I'd better find someplace to practice, though. I don't want to get my ass thoroughly kicked by a girl (just kidding).
[talk about my childhood]
You don't necessarily *have* to if you don't want to.
Where was your mom originally from?
[being “the new kid”]
Yikes. I'm glad you got out of that. I knew there was a pretty good amount of drug use going on, but it wasn't by anyone I associated with anyway. I went to a special "gifted and talented" school for elementary, and from looking at the way the kids from there turned out it screwed us up socially. It was a good educational head start, though. When I got into Valley (the neighborhood junior high), I was one of the brainy kids nobody wants to talk to. So, I associated with other brainy kids. Junior high here is grades 7, 8 and 9. I had finished off all of the math they offered by 8th grade, and they were trying to figure out if I should skip 9th grade or make someone drive me over to the high school every day.
Let me give you some background about Valley Junior High. This was the school where all of the fighting and gang problems were going on. They were the second scummiest junior high in the district, and they were proud of the fact that they were only second. Whenever any parents called to complain about the fact that their kids were going to school in a war zone, the response from the school officials was, "if you think it's bad here, you should see Westlake." Needless to say, I hated every minute of it.
The principal at Valley knew the principal at Wasatch Junior High on the other side of town. It was only about a block away from Skyline High School. Skyline was under-enrolled, so the district had a program of allowing students from other parts of the valley bus to Skyline if they so desired. My principal told me that I could take the Skyline bus, take math there and do the rest of 9th grade at Wasatch. I said, "I can get out of Valley a year early? Where do I sign?"
So, Wasatch and Skyline were in the more yuppie area of town. By that time, I was used to being the outcast brainy kid, so it took me quite a while to get used to the fact that many of the kids there actually admired that (a little -- they still didn't appreciate my blowing the top off the grading curve). It wasn't until my senior year that I really started to loosen up and make friends. Then I got into college and got a job and didn't have any time anymore. That's okay. I loved college so much, I'm trying to go back and never leave.
[telephone]
The ID shows your number, but the name comes through as "-----------". You're the only person I know in the 416 area code, so I thought it was probably you. I used to have call waiting, but I don't get enough phone calls that it ever got used, even when I was on the computer. It wasn't worth the six bucks a month.
[being one of the lucky ones]
I guess by that logic, my new pick-up line should be, "you know, you're lucky you met me." Something tells me that wouldn't go over very well.
[slacker ex]
Maybe he's afraid you'll set a trap for him or that you're going to be waiting for him with a rifle. That or he just doesn't care. Either way, I say he's had his chance to retrieve it. I guess you could always have his mom make him come get his shit. That should be really humbling for him.
That's funny that his mom is like that. I've always heard that your mom loves you even if nobody else will. It says quite a bit about this guy that his mom has disowned him.
[my mom's doing my dishes]
There's no combating the Most Powerful Force in the Universe: Mom. I learned that from watching a five-year-old brat running around the department store raising hell. One of the employees kept telling him to stop, which he ignored. She threatened to tell his mom, at which point he froze dead in his tracks. He looked terrified.
[mom making me look I'm lazy]
Then I guess I look dead. I haven't even taken a shower yet. At least the laundry is almost done. I had better get moving as well.
Until later,
Jason
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Sun, Dec 01, 1996, 05:26 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Shopping: Yuk
Hi!
I just finished spending a hell of a lot of money. But I managed to get a new couch (black with blue/green/burgundy splats on it). Really cool. I also got a black wall unit with back lighting and glass. At least I can get rid of my crap now. Still have more to get, though.
My mom can't figure out why all the black. Can't help it, I like it. She made me buy all new stuff for the bedroom too. She said, if you're starting fresh, then start there! You'll sleep a lot better now. Makes sense. Now I'm beat and hungry. Sorry! This must be boring for you.
[let myself sleep in this morning]
Sleeping in!! Wish I could do it, but I get too restless lying there. I feel like I'm missing out on something. Maybe if there was someone to share a Sunday in bed with, it would be a different story. Not much to miss out on in that situation. Sorry, my mind wandered.
[mom]
She heard me talking last night and just knew. She laughed a lot this morning. Now she's teasing me that instead of toning down, we seem to be talking more. Where will it end. All I said was that it doesn't have to - does it?
[running out of things to talk about]
I don't think so either.
[truck bedliners]
My liner was put in the truck while it was new, so there aren't any scratches that I noticed.
> No, I'll just have to wait a little longer before I go up there. That or suffer another summer without A/C. That sounds really unpleasant.
Sure, make me wait. Nice guy. Oh well, like I always say now - your loss. (kidding).
[Zip drive]
So, I'm a little PC illiterate - what is a Zip drive?
> I'd better find someplace to practice, though. I don't want to get my ass thoroughly kicked by a girl (just kidding).
Don't have to worry, I'm not that good and very much out of practice. I've never played 9 ball, but I've seen a bit of it. You'll have to teach me.
> Where was your mom originally from?
My mom and dad are from Hungary. They both escaped during the revolution, and then met in a refugee camp, and married in England. Hence the British spelling of Norah. While in Hungary, my mom used to work for the Hungarian Government while feeding military info to the underground freedom-fighters. Very interesting story. Of course, she had to leave the country in an extreme hurry.
> I went to a special "gifted and talented" school for elementary, and from looking at the way the kids from there turned out it screwed us up socially.
You seem to be doing just fine with me.
[your school days]
I guess we were both outcasts, but I didn't have your brain power, so I followed a different route. I was told by the high school guidance counselor that I would never amount to anything, and that I should learn to cook and clean, and hopefully marry well. They never even took the time to find out why I was bored in school and kept skipping classes. I would ask a lot of questions in class, and they would brush me off. So I spent a lot of time in libraries and the Ontario Science Centre where I got all my questions answered. Of course I ended up failing a few classes such as math, typing, and art. At least my math teacher saw that I just needed a little help and he explained algebra in a way that I understood.
The following semester I ended up on the honor roll in math. Failing typing and art just made me more determined and quite a few years after leaving school, I opened my own Typesetting and Graphic Arts Studio in my basement.
I did this for a few years and then I gave it up. I don't ever want to work for myself again. Hours were far too long, money = so-so, social life = nil, tax time = major headache, government dealings = unfair, etc. I'm much happier working for someone else and knowing exactly how much I'm going to make in advance.
> I loved college so much, I’m trying to go back and never leave.
You don't mean that do you? It would be as if you're hiding from the real world. Don't deprive the world of your contribution. We'd miss it too much.
> I guess by that logic, my new pick-up line should be, "you know, you're lucky you met me." Something tells me that wouldn't go over very well.
Don't even try it - unless you're really *into* rejection. I would be devastated if you met someone and stopped talking to me. But I guarantee that when you do meet someone, she won't let you continue with me. Women are very possessive. Ok, I sound really selfish, but I don't want to give you up that easy.
BTW, I found Dilbert in the paper yesterday. It was very amusing. I could really relate to this one as I worked for an electronics company in HRIT (Human Resources Information Technology) department for a year. A lot of truth based in that cartoon.
I also found the copy of MotorTrend[60] that states their vote for Truck of the Year. The FORD F-150. Don't like the outside at all, too round. The back seat of the SuperCab looks like it has a lot more leg room than the Dakota. I have mixed feelings about the third door though.
Don't forget to make your coffee tonight!! See, I didn't forget to remind you.
Talk to you later,
Norah
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Sun, Dec 01, 1996, 10:28 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Shopping: Yuk
[furniture buying]
Good for you. What are you going to do with money other than spend it? So did your mom let you use the tactical strike method, or did she insist on browsing for hours on end?
> My mom can't figure out why all the black. Can't help it, I like it.
Oh, no. I think black furniture sounds really classy. What are you still planning on getting? Let me know if you sleep any better.
[sleeping in]
No, I was alone, unless you count the cat (I don't). I hate it because it wastes half the day. I'm just too lazy to get out of bed. I don't know why, because after I've been up for about 30 minutes I'm always glad I got up. It's just the part about getting my ass out of the bed that's hard. For some reason, my bed is about ten times more comfortable at 6:00 am than it is at 11:00 pm.
> Where will it end. All I said was that it doesn't have to - does it?
I sure hope not.
> My liner was put in the truck while it was new, so there aren't any scratches that I noticed.
Good deal. I didn't think there were. Knowing how you feel about your Dakota, I'm sure you would have painted over all the scratches by hand before putting a liner in there anyway.
> … trip to Toronto and A/C installation… Sure, make me wait. Nice guy.
Sorry, I meant to say, "both of those sound really unpleasant." No, really, I did.
[Zip drive]
It's more or less a 100-megabyte floppy. Only much faster than floppy drives. I got it so I could transport stuff home from work and back. I also wanted some sort of removable storage for backups or archives.
[teaching me 9 ball]
It's pretty simple. You rack only the first nine balls in a diamond shape. You have to touch the lowest numbered ball on the table first. Whoever sinks the nine ball wins. It's sort of an interesting diversion from 8 ball because it's possible to knock the one into the nine and win on the first turn. It's also possible to run the table then miss the nine and lose. I like 8 ball too. I usually play equal amounts of both unless I'm paying per game. Okay, okay, I'll stop harping on that now.
> You seem to be doing just fine with me.
Glad to hear it. I've thought for years that I needed to meet an older woman. Now I do and she lives on the other side of the continent. Typical.
[self-employment]
That's pretty cool. It takes a hell of a lot of ambition to even start something like that. Nick keeps trying to get me to do some consulting for $100 / hour. I keep telling him that I like having a steady paycheck, but the idea is tempting. Sounds like a good college job to me – flexible hours.
> … staying in school forever… You don't mean that do you? It would be as if you're hiding from the real world. Don't deprive the world of your contribution. We'd miss it too much.
Bah, the real world is overrated. I've seen the real world. It's full of selfish stupid people (you're an exception to that, of course). I feel that my best chance to contribute to the world is by doing research. Anybody who knows C++ could learn to do my job in a couple of weeks. Maybe not as well, but they could do it. Very few people are cut out for scientific research, and I'm pretty sure I'm one of them. Is that arrogant, or just confident?
Oh, that reminds me. I looked up the University of Toronto[61]. You're right, they do have an astronomy program. They have an undergraduate program as well. One of the drawbacks to the U of Colorado is that they only have a graduate program, meaning I would have to get a physics degree first. The U of Utah offers that, so I can't justify leaving the state just for an undergrad physics degree. A real astronomy degree might be another matter. I wish I knew where the U of Toronto was ranked in astronomy. Colorado is number 12 in the nation, but the list that I have only ranks US schools.
> … when you do meet someone, she won't let you continue with me. Women are very possessive.
That assumes that I'll even tell her about you. No, I will. That sort of secrecy is no way to begin a relationship. I do not want to stop talking to you, in any case. It'll be interesting to see what happens in that situation. Of course, I'm not in any danger of meeting anyone right now. I need to figure out where the intelligent, attractive, single non-Mormon women in Orem (if they exist) go when they're out trolling for guys. Something tells me they go to Salt Lake, but I need to find the right places.
[Dilbert cartoon]
All of Scott Adams' cartoons have a lot of truth in them. He used to work as an engineer and then as a middle manager. Most of them are hilarious as well.
That reminds me, I found a new Fox Trot[62] book tonight. This is my favorite comic strip, largely because of a certain 10-year-old computer and sci-fi nerd named Jason. I really love the ones that contain statements like, "Jason, nobody needs to own every single Star Trek episode on tape." I'm convinced that the author of the strip studied me when I was growing up.
> … the Ford F-150. Don't like the outside at all, too round.
I would imagine that it has quite a bit more room, since it's a bigger truck. The Dakota is meant to compete with the Ranger. I agree with you on the styling of the Ford. I don't like the looks of anything called Ford anymore. I have really bad memories of a Ford Granada that I drove in high school, so I'm not likely to buy anything Ford anytime soon.
Four Wheeler[63] had a Ford F250, and it came in third (out of three pickups). The Chevy S10 ZR2 came in second. Obviously, Four Wheeler magazine looks at slightly different criteria than Motor Trend. I've never read Motor Trend. I like Car & Driver[64]. They're real smart asses, and the magazine ends up being really funny.
[make your coffee tonight]
Ah, yes. Thank you. I'm still on the decaf experiment (I'm going to give it at least two weeks -- supposedly that's how long it takes to get over the withdrawal). I'll make some decaf, though. It warms me up on those cold mornings. I'd rather have something in a cute brunette to warm me up though. (Sheesh, did I say that?)
I hope you get this before you go to bed. I wouldn't want to disappoint you. I guess I should shut up and send it before it gets any later.
Talk to you tomorrow.
Jason
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Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 04:29 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Morning check-in
Morning!!
Yes it's 3:00 am and I'm writing you! Your mail is the first thing I check for after taking care of the dogs.
> So did your mom let you use the tactical strike method, or did she insist on browsing for hours on end?
It was the browsing route! Went to 2 different massive warehouses and as I'm walking by - I spot it. I walk over, sit down, and say this is it! She looks at me and says we're only halfway through, let's look at the rest. Oh no, when I see it and love it, no need to go further. From the couch, I could see the wall unit at the end of the hall. She looks at me and says you're kidding. I could tell from there I don't need to look any further. Why does she insist on looking at everything and then back tracking to where we started out? When I see it, I know it? No need to sample everything when you find what you want. Of course, I had to lie down on it to test it for sleeping on. Wouldn't want to change my tradition of sleeping in the living room.
[black furniture sounds really classy]
OH NO! Same taste in furniture - this has got to stop. I still need a coffee table (black) and I've got my eye on some halogen lamps (black of course). I'm not sure if I did sleep better. From 10:00 pm to 3:00 am., but I slept right through.
> It's just the part about getting my ass out of the bed that's hard. For some reason, my bed is about ten times more comfortable at 6:00 am than it is at 11:00 pm.
I don't have that luxury. As soon as my eyes open, I better get up quick or the dogs will voice their disapproval by leaving me a gift. No thanks - I'll get up.
>> Where will it end? All I said was that it doesn't have to - does it?> I sure hope not.
Me too! I depend on you too much.
I have to tell you something funny. When I got up this morning, my mom had already taken the dogs out and had coffee ready. I was really spoiled this weekend. I asked her if she'd like to move in and look after me like this and all she said was dream on - and come between you and your PC?? She was having her coffee and watching TV while I was writing back to you when I heard her laughing hysterically. She was watching the new Dakota commercial, and I couldn't figure out what was so funny. She said it was the last line - The New Dakota -- it's full of surprises! She said she thought about us and couldn't help it.
> Knowing how you feel about your Dakota, I'm sure you would have painted over all the scratches by hand before putting a liner in there anyway.
Ok, so you really do know me!
> I like 8 ball too. I usually play equal amounts of both unless I'm paying per game. Okay, okay, I'll stop harping on that now.
You sound too good. Don't think I'll play with you. Not pool anyway.
> Glad to hear it. I've thought for years that I needed to meet an older woman. Now I do and she lives on the other side of the continent. Typical.
Wow - I've never been called an older woman. Guess cause I've never really grown up. I don't know if I like it.
> … self-employment… Sounds like a good college job to me – flexible hours.
Flexible hours?? Get real - 20 hours a day, 7 days a week. And when you're not working on a project - you're trying to drum up sales. No thank-you.
> Bah, the real world is overrated. I've seen the real world. It's full of selfish stupid people (you're an exception to that, of course).
Thanks.
> Very few people are cut out for scientific research, and I'm pretty sure I'm one of them. Is that arrogant, or just confident?
Confident! I'm glad to hear it too.
> I wish I knew where the U of Toronto was ranked in astronomy. Colorado is number 12 in the nation, but the list that I have only ranks US schools.
I wouldn't know, but I can find out. What I do know is that it's a very impressive and prestigious university. A lot of Americans come up here for Engineering and Medicine as well. A large percentage of the residents at Toronto General hospital are American. Trivia for the day -- did you know that Insulin was discovered at this hospital by 2 Canadian doctors?? Did you also know that Alexander Graham Bell was a Canadian?? Well, actually, born in the UK, emigrated to Canada, and then later to the U.S. Ooooh Norah's gloating!
> I do not want to stop talking to you, in any case. It'll be interesting to see what happens in that situation.
You'd have to stop talking to me. I won't be labeled the "other woman". Don't forget - I know what that can do to a person's head and heart.
> I'd rather have something in a cute brunette to warm me up though. (Sheesh, did I say that?)
You sure did!! If you weren't so far away, I'd love to comply. Just remember the saying - Be careful what you wish for - you may get it!
> I hope you get this before you go to bed. I wouldn't want to disappoint you. I guess I should shut up and send it before it gets any later.
Well, you did disappoint me. I had to go to bed without hearing from you and suffer from Jason withdrawal. I don't think I like it. No... I know I don't.
You want openness and honesty - here goes! I went to bed early because I hadn't heard from you and didn't want to hang around my PC waiting like some love-struck teenager. So there!
> Talk to you tomorrow.
You better! I'll be waiting.
See ya,
Norah
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Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 09:45 AM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Morning check-in -Reply
Thanks for the mail. There's nothing better than getting a new message first thing in the morning.
Unfortunately, I've got quite a bit to get done this morning, so I won't be able to really reply for a while. If I can have a productive morning, I can take the time this afternoon.
BTW, making the coffee the night before does save some time in the morning. Good idea.
Talk to you later
Jason
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Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 02:48 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Morning check-in -Reply
> Yes it's 3:00 am and I'm writing you! Your mail is the first thing I check for after taking care of the dogs.
Before coffee even? I'm impressed.
Speaking of coffee, I was glad I got to mine this morning before the power went out. It was only out for about five minutes before it came back on. It was out again when I got home for lunch. Judging from the clock on the stove, it looks like it was out for over two hours before it clicked back on again. I'm waiting to see if it's out again when I get home tonight. They have a backup generator here at work, so I can't hope that I'll get to go home early.
[furniture browsing]
Well, gee, you might find something you like even more over here. At least you didn't have to drive to every single store in the whole city.
Let me tell you how much I like shopping. I have a map of the mall, across the top of which I have written "Tactical map". I've circled all of the stores I might be potentially interested in. I use it so I can plan to go in the nearest door and spend a minimum amount of time in the mall.
[taste in furniture]
Is the couch leather? I don't think you mentioned that. I love leather furniture (if it's done right) but I can't afford it. I don't think you mentioned exactly what you changed in the bedroom, either. Geez, that sounds bad: "tell me more about your bedroom." Just say, "buzz off, pal."
10 to 3 doesn't fit my definition of sleeping well, but if that's what works for you, more power to you. Maybe it will just take a little while to adjust to the new surroundings before you can get on a normal sleep schedule.
[getting up quick because of dogs]
Ah, yes. I had almost forgotten about that feature of dogs. I'm impressed that they can tell when you wake up.
[The New Dakota -- it's full of surprises!]
I thought you didn't want your mom there because she kept doing all of your chores for you and making you feel lazy. Or did you figure out that you might as well let her, as long as she's willing to?
I hadn't thought about that line in the commercial. I have at least four different magazines with the same full-color glossy ad for the new Dak that has the same line. I think I'm going to put it up on my cubicle wall at work. I'll be the only one here who gets it. I like to keep my co-workers guessing.
[my truck… Ok, so you really do know me!]
Well, from the way you talk about her, it's not too hard to figure out.
[Don't think I'll play with you. Not pool anyway]
Well, what then?
I didn't mean to imply that I could make any of those plays, at least not on purpose. I seem to find myself on the receiving end of them more than I would like, though. I haven't played more than a couple of times a year since high school, so I'm pretty much out of practice.
[never been called an older woman]
Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have used the term "older". Maybe "more mature", "more experienced" or "less juvenile".
I guess I should stop worrying about age differences, shouldn't I? When it comes right down to it, what difference does it really make?
[self-employment & flexible hours??]
Good point. I guess I shouldn't think things like that until I've actually tried it or talked to someone who's done it.
Oh, boy. I was going through looking for anything I skipped, and my screen happened to have that last paragraph at the very top where I couldn't see what was before it. I'll bet it isn't too hard to figure out what I was thinking for a second. I should get my mind out of the gutter.
[Confident!]
I tend to be a little of both where intellectual efforts are concerned.
[University of Toronto]
Well, sounds good to me. I can probably get my mom to pay for the plane tickets up there if I tell her I'm checking out a potential graduate school. She's a teacher, and education has always been very important to her. Of course, she might want to go as well, and I wouldn't want to leave her in a strange city while you show me around.
[Trivia for the day...]
I did not know that. Did you know that Nolan Bushnell[65], the guy who invented Pong and founded Atari, came from Utah? He's not the most impressive person the state has produced, but I think he's probably one of the most interesting.
[Norah's gloating!]
Go ahead. I love Canada, remember?
>> … If I got myself a local girlfriend> You'd have to stop talking to me. I won't be labeled the "other woman". Don't forget - I know what that can do to a person's head and heart.
You make it sound like we're having some torrid affair.
So let me get this straight. If the positions were reversed, if you found some guy in Toronto who you really liked, and he had developed a friendship with a woman who lived on the other coast, would you really make him cut off all contact with her? I can see where you might feel a little uncomfortable with them flying out to visit each other. But you might as well ask him to live in a monastery where he wouldn't even be able to look at other women. I would hope that if I did find someone, she would trust me enough to let me choose my own friends.
I don't mean to belittle our friendship or how much you mean to me. But do you really think it's going to threaten a relationship with someone else?
>> I'd rather have something in a cute brunette to warm me up though. (Sheesh, did I say that?)> You sure did!! If you weren't so far away, I'd love to comply. Just remember the saying - Be careful what you wish for – you may get it!
<sigh> Are you deliberately trying to fuck with my head?
> Well, you did disappoint me. I had to go to bed without hearing from you and suffer from Jason withdrawal. I don't think I like it. No....I know I don't.
Sorry. I'm not sure what to do about it, other than spend all of my time talking to you. As nice as that sounds, reality keeps coming back to pester me.
> You want openness and honesty - here goes! I went to bed early because I hadn't heard from you and didn't want to hang around my PC waiting like some love-struck teenager. So there!
Um, just how serious is this getting, anyway?
BTW, when I sent you my mailing address I forgot to ask for yours. What is it, anyway? (Don't ask why I want it. It's a surprise.)
Oh, goody. It looks like the Dakota mailing list just went back online. Here comes the flood of messages.
Well, I guess I'd better get back to work. You're really addictive, do you know that?
Talk to you later
Jason
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Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 06:36 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Morning check-in –Reply
Hey Jason,
> Well, gee, you might find something you like even more over here.
Huh?
> At least you didn't have to drive to every single store in the whole city.
Thank God!
[tactical mall map]
I gotta try that. I usually look in the phone book for where the store is and plan my strategy.
[couch]
Nope, not leather. I can't have that with the dogs. It would be ruined in a month. They seem to believe that anything humans sit or lie on is perfectly fine for them as well. Bobby even sleeps with his head on my pillow.
> I don't think you mentioned exactly what you changed in the bedroom, either.
Just rearranged stuff and bought new pillows, sheets, comforter etc. Not a major change.
> Geez, that sounds bad: "tell me more about your bedroom." Just say, "buzz off, pal."
Well, if you're really interested...
[dogs know when you wake up]
Boy do they ever! First it starts with pawing at me, then a light, short bark, then toys are delivered to my face, then it's on the bed, off the bed, on the bed, off the bed. I don't wait for that point anymore. Cindy is 80 lbs. and when she jumps on you, she *will* leave bruises.
[mom]
This all happened Sunday morning. My mom had a hard time understanding why I like trucks so much, but she's finally come around. While we were shopping, she kept noticing trucks on the road and would say: "There's a nice truck" and all I would say is "That's a Dakota, mom". Then a few minutes later she'd say: "Now there's a really pretty truck." My reply: "That's a Dakota club cab, mom!" I think I have her converted as well now.
Here's something ironic - while I'm writing this, Rush is on the radio!
[Dakota ad on my cubicle wall at work]
You stole my idea. I was planning on doing that tomorrow!
>> You sound too good. Don't think I'll play with you. Not pool anyway.> Well, what then?
Oh... I don't know, let's see... cards. Yah, that's it.
[the term "older"]
I had a package come to me at work and the courier was in his 50's and he said to me: Here you go ma'am! I told him straight - nope, no ma'am here, that's my mom.
> I guess I should stop worrying about age differences, shouldn't I? When it comes right down to it, what difference does it really make?
I don't think much!
> I'll bet it isn't too hard to figure out what I was thinking for a second. I should get my mind out of the gutter.
Yep, you're in the gutter.
[leaving mom in a strange city while]
Wouldn't be a very nice thing to do at all. This isn't the type of city that any woman should be alone in unless you know it well. She's more than welcome to come up too, but I'd rather you come up by yourself. Selfish, aren't I?
BTW, if you want more info on the U of T programs, check out their website.
[Nolan Bushnell… one of the most interesting]
Wrong! You are.
> … If I got myself a local girlfriend
> You make it sound like we're having some torrid affair.
Sorry! I told you that sometimes I get a little flirtatious. Maybe too much this time???
> I would hope that if I did find someone, she would trust me enough to let me choose my own friends.
Sorry again. It's not like you think. It's just that I still have left over crap in my head about how innocent my ex always made his relationships with other women seem. Meanwhile... I guess I still have to deal with that one. What do they say? Once bitten, twice shy??? This too will pass in time.
> I don't mean to belittle our friendship or how much you mean to me. But do you really think it's going to threaten a relationship with someone else?
Depends how insecure the other person is.
> <sigh> Are you deliberately trying to fuck with my head?
No way! I would never fuck up anybody's head. I know better than you think, what that feels like. I've been through a lot more than I've told you and I wouldn't put anybody else on earth through that. Again sorry! I seem to be apologizing a lot today.
> Sorry. I'm not sure what to do about it, other than spend all of my time talking to you. As nice as that sounds, reality keeps coming back to pester me.
Don't worry about it, I was just fooling around.
> Um, just how serious is this getting, anyway?
I feel really embarrassed now. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It's just that you're so nice, and guys like you are so few and far between that it's hard not to get carried away. Sorry again. Maybe I'm too comfortable with you? Just tell me to stop if it bothers you.
> BTW, when I sent you my mailing address I forgot to ask for yours. What is it, anyway? (Don't ask why I want it. It's a surprise.)> You're really addictive, do you know that?
Healthy addiction??? Maybe not.
I wanted to tell you about the very interesting, yet strange day I had today, but I'll wait to see if I scared you away or not.
Feeling bad,
Norah
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Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 05:50 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Morning check-in -Reply -Reply
>> Well, gee, you might find something you like even more over here.
I was sort of thinking that was what your mom must have been thinking. You just asked why you had to keep looking once you found your couch.
[tactical mall map]
Of course, I try to avoid the mall as much as I can. Unfortunately, there are some things you just can't get without going to the mall. I can't think specifically what, but there must be some, because I've actually been to the mall. I wouldn't have gone there otherwise.
[dogs & furniture]
Ah, yes. Never try to tell a dog that he's not a person. I should know that by now. Cats don't think they're people. Why would they want to lower their standards?
>> Geez, that sounds bad: "tell me more about your bedroom." Just say, "buzz off, pal."> Well, if you're really interested…
Only if you really want to share...
[80 lbs Cindy will leave bruises]
Cute dogs.
[Teaching mom about Dakota trucks…]
Next thing you know she'll drive up in a new Dakota. Worse yet, she and the saleswoman at the dealership will gang up on you.
[Rush is on the radio!]
Cool. Do they get a lot of air play up there? They get almost none down here. Also, it's always the same three or four songs. Fortunately, I have all of their CDs.
[cards]
You'll have to teach me.
[calling you ma'am]
I at least hope it was just because he says that a hundred times a day. Did he apologize or just give you the "get a life" look?
>> I guess I should stop worrying about age differences, shouldn't I? When it comes right down to it, what difference does it really make?> I don't think much!
I think you're right. My brother is 20, and he was flirting with a 29-year-old fellow student in one of his classes. He was pretty bothered by the age difference. I say as long as you've got something in common and like each other, what the hell?
>[my mom]
> She's more than welcome to come up too, but I'd rather you come up by yourself. Selfish, aren't I?
I know the feeling. No, I think I'll be traveling alone, thank you very much.
[U of T programs]
Already been there. That's what I was looking at when I told you I had looked them up. I got the address out of a book of colleges at Barnes & Noble, but that didn't list anything other than the fact that they offered some degree in astronomy.
>[Nolan Bushnell… one of the most interesting]
Wrong! You are.
<Grin> Thank you very much.
>> You make it sound like we're having some torrid affair.> Sorry! I told you that sometimes I get a little flirtatious. Maybe too much this time???
Not at all. The only problem is that I can't always tell.
> … left over crap in my head about how innocent my ex always made his relationships with other women seem.
I guess I forgot about that. Of course, I know all about our relationship, but this hypothetical new woman wouldn't. What is she supposed to think if I spend so many hours writing to you? It's a pretty huge leap to believe someone you barely know when he says to you, "it's totally innocent... really." And if I wait until I know her a little better, then it becomes a question of why did I hide you from her for so long?
Anyway, this is all totally academic. I'll worry more about it if the situation ever merits.
> Sorry again. Maybe I'm too comfortable with you? Just tell me to stop if it bothers you.
Norah, I should be the one apologizing. One of the problems with e-mail is that without hearing your voice or seeing your body language, I can't always tell if you're serious or if you're just kidding around. I really should know better by now. I just read some things into your message that you didn't really mean. I'll try to curb my imagination from now on.
Of course, I do have to admit, the thought has crossed my mind a couple of times. Too bad we live so far apart. (I guess it's my turn to tell you that if this bothers you, just tell me to buzz off.)
> Healthy addiction??? Maybe not.
Depends on who you ask. I think so. My boss probably doesn't.
> … I'll wait to see if I scared you away or not. Feeling bad
Now I'm really sorry. I didn't want you to feel bad. Consider yourself hugged again. I'm pretty bulletproof, so you don't really need to worry about hurting my feelings or scaring me away as much as you do. It's really sweet of you, though.
So of course, I want to hear all about your very interesting, yet strange day.
Patiently waiting,
Jason
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Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 09:14 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Feeling Better!
[mom and saleswoman gang up on you]
Nope, my mom doesn't know how to drive. But they probably would gang up on me.
[Rush and Canadian radio air play…]
Quite a bit. The CRTC[66] (Canadian Radio, Television & Telecommunications Commission - that's a mouthful) is the governing body for the federal government which dictates a certain percentage of Canadian content on the radio. The stations used to play a lot of crap just to fulfill the obligation. Luckily now, there are quite a few good Canadian bands, and we don't have to suffer anymore. BTW, what are your opinions on Colin James[67], Tom Cochrane[68] and Moist???
> Anyway, this is all totally academic. I'll worry more about it if the situation ever merits.
But if you do meet someone, let me know and I'll back off - promise??
> I'll try to curb my imagination from now on.
You are a true sweetheart! Don't ever change for anyone!!
> Of course, I do have to admit, the thought has crossed my mind a couple of times. Too bad we live so far apart. (I guess it's my turn to tell you that if this bothers you, just tell me to buzz off.)
Believe it or not, it doesn't bother me at all. I love the attention. Every woman does. How do you know that I didn't really mean some of them?
Honesty time: the thought has crossed my mind more than once. After everything I've told you - I consider you more than just a friend as I haven't told my friends half of all my shit - just you. I tend to try to deal with things by myself instead of burdening other people. I know that it's not very healthy. Inside I always thought that if I said anything to anyone, they'd think I was incredibly stupid, so I keep things to myself. It was easy telling a therapist - they're paid to listen, and mothers - they'll love you no matter what. So, telling you was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But it felt great to have a friendly ear.
> Consider yourself hugged again.
Another virtual hug! Thanks. I feel better. Consider yourself kissed.
> I'm pretty bulletproof, so you don't really need to worry about hurting my feelings or scaring me away as much as you do. It's really sweet of you, though.
Thanks. I'll always worry about hurting your feelings. The mere thought of messing with anyone's head upsets me very much. I was ready to back away completely rather than screw you up.
> So of course, I want to hear all about your very interesting, yet strange day.
I'll send you this now to give you something to read and think about while I try to explain today's events. Very bizarre but good day.
Norah
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Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 09:53 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Strange Day
Hello again!
Our entire department moved to new offices down the hall. We kicked the salespeople out to another building across the street and took over the floor. All my stuff was moved to my new home, and I got my new PC.
Surprise, surprise. The only thing on my hard drive was COMMAND.COM. No point in rebooting this puppy. I call Dave, my manager over and show him. He laughs and takes me back to the computer room and finds another that he had stashed away. Now I have two towers under my desk. I wonder how long before anyone notices. I plug everything in and power up. Works great but only one problem - no mouse.
Okay, let’s go scrounging around for a spare. Dave finds me a good one and wants to trade his for mine. Dream on! Ok, now we're ready - wrong. Windows was there, but parts of Word, Excel, CC: Mail, etc. are missing. Couldn't open anything. Dave comes back and asks if I need this unopened box of Microsoft office. Psychic or what? Spent the rest of the morning reloading everything. No point in calling the LAN guys - it'll take a week.
Ok great - now I'm ready. Wrong! I had absolutely no AS/400 sessions. I need seven. Spent a few more hours trying to figure out how to create these sessions and get them to work. Ok, now I'm finally ready. This temporary tower has twice the space on the hard drive. I think I'll keep it. There was all this extra software on there that we don't use anymore, and I want to clean up and get some extra space. Managed to delete all by resorting to DOS. Can't get rid of the icons though. Someone in their infinite wisdom set it up so I can't get these off the system. Can you help me?? Unfortunately, it's Windows 3.1.
Anyway, I'm sitting 3 cubicles down from Dave and all I hear are the Dakota .wav files all afternoon. He's having a great time with these. Little hard to concentrate when all you hear is the Truck starting up or grinding gears!
All is quiet for 30 minutes and then Dave appears at my desk saying: "Norah, I'm extremely pissed at you. You make me sick!" I sat there stunned. What the hell did I do? "You are the only one in Operations that has Windows '95 at home and a good modem. I have no choice but to give this project to you."
Now this part you have to keep very quiet. It's a new project that the company is getting into, and I'm not supposed to mention it. We're getting into the Internet business, and they want me to alpha test it. They're going to give me unlimited access at home and want me to play and test to my heart’s desire as much as I can. I guess I'll be working at home for a little while. Do they realize what they've done?? Dave is so pissed that all he has is his laptop at home - he keeps playing the Dakota .wav files to irritate me. I finally walk over and tell him: Having fun playing? At least I own one. All was quiet after that. He's still upset that his wife changed her mind and doesn't think a truck would be good with 2 kids and a dog. Now he wants to get the truck for himself and something else for her.
All my other projects seem so petty now. Dave is regretting ever signing approval for my computer purchase.
More oddities: my phone never rang all day, no programmers came to nag me with requests (oops sorry), Month end is on schedule, weekend implementations went without any snags, communications are problem-free, no operators bugging me with questions, and I conveniently forgot my pager at home today.
What a weird Monday.
See ya,
Norah
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Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 08:42 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Feeling Better!
Hey Norah.
Glad you're feeling better.
> Nope, my mom doesn't know how to drive. But they probably would gang up on me.
Duh, I guess that explains why you get to drive her everywhere.
[Canadian bands]
I must say I haven't heard of any of them. But then I listen to the "alternative" stations most of the time. I've just about had all of the Alanis Morissette[69] I can handle for one lifetime.
> But if you do meet someone, let me know and I'll back off - promise??
If I do meet someone, you'll probably be the first to know, but only if you promise not to back off. I'll probably need a woman to interpret many of the things she says to me. That translation guide my brother forwarded to me only covers so many things.
> You are a true sweetheart! Don't ever change for anyone!!
Thank you. You are too.
You know, you're the only woman I've ever talked to who didn't live her life by the following rules:
Rule #1. The female is always right.
Rule #2. When the female is wrong, see rule #1.
It's refreshing to talk to someone who doesn't expect me to be Mr. Perfect all the time, then bitch at me when I'm not.
>> Of course, I do have to admit, the thought has crossed my mind a couple of times. Too bad we live so far apart. (I guess it's my turn to tell you that if this bothers you, just tell me to buzz off.)> Believe it or not, it doesn't bother me at all. I love the attention. Every woman does. How do you know that I didn't really mean some of them?
Well, there was the hope :-). Every woman doesn't love the attention. The glut of sexual harassment suits tells me that. When I started working at this company, the director, or corporate resources (a woman) gave me about a five-minute talk about how harassment would not be tolerated, and examples of what constituted it. I realize that this is a serious problem, but she basically told me that I shouldn't have one single gender-driven thought while at work. None of the married guys got this talk. I felt like telling her that I was the very least of her worries, but I decided it wouldn't have done any good.
One good honesty deserves another. I don't think I've ever felt closer to anyone, certainly not female, than I do to you. My mom is very supportive and caring, but I can't talk about doing "adult" things (e.g., drinking) with her. My parents tend to treat me like I'm still twelve, especially my dad. Probably the only person I've shared this much with was my best friend in high school, Tom. I trusted him implicitly, and he helped me through a lot of shit. You've helped me get over a lot of my anxieties and self-doubts. Thanks. For everything.
> Another virtual hug! Thanks. I feel better. Consider yourself kissed.
Really? Where? (All right, I should be smacked. I was the one who over-reacted to some harmless flirting, and here I am doing the same thing. Sheesh.)
> Thanks. I'll always worry about hurting your feelings. The mere thought of messing with anyone's head upsets me very much. I was ready to back away completely rather than screw you up.
I didn't mean what I think you think, I meant (did that make any more sense to you than it did to me?) When I said, "mess with my head" I meant "torture me with sweet frustration." More flirting, I guess. For someone who does this as much as I do, I ought to be able to recognize it a little more readily.
Anyway, I would love to continue this all night, but I really have to clean that damn bathroom. I didn't get to it yesterday like I thought I was going to, and it's getting pretty bad.
Write me back when you get a chance. I promise not to over-react to your flirtatious side again.
Jason
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Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 12:08 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Feeling Better!
Hey Jason,
[Canadian bands]
Well, well, well. I'm going to have to send you some. Colin James is a great blues singer and guitarist from Vancouver. Tom Cochrane was with a band called Red Ryder and now he's on his own. He's from Toronto and is quite good. Moist is a semi-alternative band from somewhere in the Canadian west. I like them quite a bit. Alanis I can do without, thank-you very much. She irritated me from the beginning. Which reminds me, I'm going to have to put a new stereo on my shopping list soon. My CD player needs manual assistance to close the door properly and the rest is just bits and pieces of crap. Sounds ok, but I want... I better cool it for a while and get my priorities straight - I really want to get my truck windows tinted darker. All I have is the factory tint and it's just not good enough!!
[need a woman to interpret many of the things she says to me]
Ok. I'll be feminine interpreter.
> Rule #1. The female is always right.
> Rule #2. When the female is wrong, see rule #1.
Well... The only time I emphasize that I am right is when I've got the proof to back me up. When I'm wrong, I'm the first to admit it. Isn't that normal?? Mind you, I do like getting the last word in an argument. I have made a conscious effort to change that.
[Mr. Perfect]
What exactly is Mr. Perfect??? It's that word again that I don't agree with. There is no such thing as perfection. Even though I'm a bit of a perfectionist in some things, I believe as long as we're still human - we're all flawed. Your personality is as close to perfect as I've found.
>> How do you know that I didn't really mean some of them?> Well, there was the hope :-).
There is!
[sexual harassment]
You're right. I forgot about the sexual harassment part. I guess it depends on who’s giving the attention and whose receiving.
> One good honesty deserves another. I don't think I've ever felt closer to anyone, certainly not female, than I do to you.
Wow!!! Thanks. That doesn't feel good, it feels great!
> My mom is very supportive and caring, but I can't talk about doing adult" things (e.g., drinking) with her.
As long as she's supportive and caring, that's all that REALLY counts. My relationship with my mom is a bit different, but we've been through so much together, it's hard to explain. I'll tell you some stories later. All my mom has now is me and all I have is her (except now you). I've put her through some pretty bad stuff when I was in high school, but we came through it. There isn't anything I can't talk to her about. She may not always agree, but she'll always stand by me. She's the gentlest, kindest person I know. She couldn't yell or scream if her life depended on it. I don't think she has the vocal cords to do it. I constantly beg her to take care of herself, because if anything ever happened to her, I'd be completely alone. It makes her feel guilty enough to keep on a healthy life-style. Sometimes talking with her can be challenging though. She’s a little self-centered (read that as a lot self-centered) and prefers to talk about herself than listen.
[parents]
My mom too. You'll always be their baby no matter how old you get.
[my friend Tom.]
Everyone needs friends like that. Consider yourself lucky he was there through the high school crap.
[you’ve helped me get over a lot of my anxieties and self-doubts. Thanks]
You're more than welcome. But when I say things to you, it helps me too! So, it's a bit self-serving.
>> Consider yourself kissed.> Really? Where? (All right, I should be smacked. I was the one who over-reacted to some harmless flirting, and here I am doing the same thing. Sheesh.)
Uh huh! Watch it or you'll be taking more than one cold shower!!
[I meant "torture me with sweet frustration."]
Sweet Frustration! I like it. I've never heard it described that way. I'm gonna remember that one.
[clean that damn bathroom]
Men and bathrooms! Another one of those guy things?? I don't blame you; I hate doing it too. I don't think I know anyone who does.
[I promise not to over-react to your flirtatious side again]
Don't over-react, just enjoy. I also promise not to over-react as well.
I'm going to bed now, so I'll talk to you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, I know I will.
Norah
P.S. There's a line from Dante[70] on the McLaughlin[71] Planetarium wall that I fell in love with and memorized a few years ago. I'm sure you know it, but I wanted to share it:
THE HEAVENS ARE CALLING YOU AND WHEEL AROUND YOU DISPLAYING TO YOU THEIR ETERNAL BEAUTIES AND STILL YOUR EYE IS LOOKING ON THE GROUND.
Isn't that great and so true??
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Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 10:50 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Feeling Better!
Hiya.
[going to have to send you some CDs].
Sounds good to me. I'll keep an eye out for them around here. I haven't been able to find any CDs I want (my mom's been asking me what I want for Christmas).
[Alanis… irritated me from the beginning]
I admit, I bought her album back when the "I hate men" song (more specifically, "You Oughta Know") was the only one they had released. I liked that song, and I liked the rest of the album until I heard it twenty thousand times on the radio. There's no reason to own that CD now. If you want to hear it, just turn on the radio.
[put a new stereo on my shopping list soon]
I put one on my Christmas list, but just a little boombox to listen to at work. All I've got is my old stereo that I got in about 1985. It's falling apart.
[save to get my truck windows tinted darker]
Is that legal up there? My back window is tinted, but I can see just a little corner of tint on one of the sides. I think the previous owner had the sides tinted and the cops made him pull it off.
[I'll be feminine interpreter]
Whew, that's a relief.
[admitting when wrong]
That's what I'm talking about. You don't try to use "female intuition" as a justification that you're always right, no matter what the facts might say. Trying to argue logically with a woman who has invoked female intuition only serves to make her even angrier.
[Mr. Perfect]
Thank you, although I don't believe it. Mr. Perfect always reads his woman's mind and knows exactly what she wants to hear and when, exactly what gift he should give her and when, and exactly how much space to give her and when. How many times have I heard women telling their boyfriends or husbands, "if you really loved me, you would just know what I wanted? If you have to ask, I'm not going to tell you." The guy usually has a look on his face like "If I could read your mind, I would be on TV making millions."
>> Well, there was the hope :-).> There is!
You know, even after what happened today, I'm still not quite sure what to make of that statement. I think I'll take it in my stride and threaten to call the airlines tomorrow to book a flight to Toronto.
[sexual harassment]
I've heard it said (by women) that the only difference between making a pass and harassment is whether she is attracted to the guy doing it. The lesson: I shouldn't make passes at women I work with because I can't tell what she's thinking.
You know, it seems that I've overheard a lot of awful things being said by women. I hope I'm not just remembering things I've seen on TV. I would hate to think that I allowed myself to become so jaundiced on the basis of fiction.
[Sweet Frustration]
I can't remember where I first heard that. I was worried it might be a little over the edge, but I hoped you would appreciate it.
[bathrooms]
Actually, I would rather clean it than put up with it being dirty. Nick was a really good influence in that respect. His dad is a doctor, and his mom is a clean freak, so his place is naturally spotless. My goal is to have my place meet Nick standards. I only get time to clean it once a week, though. Vacuuming is my weak spot, that sometimes goes a month.
> Don't over-react, just enjoy. I also promise not to over-react as well.
Ok, as long as we're agreed not to get *too* blatantly suggestive. I think you could short-circuit my brain fairly easily if you wanted to. (Something tells me I shouldn't have said that.)
> I'm going to bed now, so I'll talk to you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, I know I will.
Thanks. Talk to you tomorrow.
Tell me how you know you're going to have good dreams. I only remember about one dream a month, on average. It's really strange, because I can be not quite fully asleep and really enjoying whatever I'm dreaming about. As soon as I wake up, I can remember dreaming, and I know that it was good, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was. Knowing me, I'm probably dreaming that I'm the captain of a starship.
> THE HEAVENS ARE CALLING YOU AND WHEEL AROUND YOU DISPLAYING TO YOU THEIR ETERNAL BEAUTIES AND STILL YOUR EYE IS LOOKING ON THE GROUND.
I've never heard that before. It is great. Thanks.
Until tomorrow
Jason
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Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 10:54 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Strange Day
I forgot to thank you for the computer story. I enjoyed it immensely. It seems like computer upgrades always take at least ten times longer than you think they should. My computer was in pieces for about two months over the summer over what should have been a one- or two-day project. Exactly what icons are you trying to remove? It's been a while since I used Win 3.1 (thankfully), but I thought you could just highlight one and hit delete.
Anyway, I'd better get off to bed. Talk to you tomorrow.
Jason
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Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 04:17 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Strange Day
Hi!
> I forgot to thank you for the computer story. I enjoyed it immensely. Exactly what icons are you trying to remove? It's been a while since I used Win 3.1 (thankfully), but I thought you could just highlight one and hit delete.
This is what I always thought. But for some reason, on this PC, when you click File - the delete is grey. I can't even move anything from one icon to another. I'm just going to have to deal with these LAN guys. This, I always try to avoid. Since my last argument with them, they avoid me like the plague! They say I want too much. No, I don't! My motto is: "If you take it away to fix it, then put it back the way it was! If you can't remember how it was plugged in, write it down! I don't want more, just give me back what I had in the first place." This really pisses them off because they can't argue back! So, now they labeled me "Demanding"!!
So today, I'm going to harass them. If that doesn't work - I'll resort to whining, begging & pleading.
I don't want to - BUT I WANT MY PC TO DO WHAT I WANT AND HOW I WANT IT!!! I guess I am demanding at work.
I'm still having trouble believing they’re going to pay me to stay home and play on the Internet. I just better spend my time doing that and not all my time writing you.
Norah
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Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 04:17 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Feeling Better!
Good morning!!
Short in the sleep department again. I can't figure this out. By the weekend I'm going to need 12 hours solid sleep. That would really piss me off!
[truck window tinting]
I can't remember what the legal limits are, but Mick promised to take it to his shop in the spring and we'll work it out. He'll only charge me for materials. Another nice guy, but he's the one where you have to watch every word or combinations of words that come out of your mouth. He's very, very quick to twist it around. If he's this way with me - I feel sorry for his girlfriend. It's too much hard work to watch every word.
[female intuition]
How can anyone use intuition as justification? Wouldn't hold up in court!
[Mr. Perfect always reads his woman's mind]
REALITY CHECK! Then these women are reading too may romance novels!! In the real world: You'll know what I want because I'll tell you. You'll know if I need space because I'll say so. It's called communication. You never get what you want if you don't open your mouth. It's not that hard if you practice. These women need to learn that!
> You know, even after what happened today, I'm still not quite sure what to make of that statement. I think I'll take it in my stride and threaten to call the airlines tomorrow to book a flight to Toronto.
I'll make it easy for you: I meant it. (Ooops, a little too direct)
[overheard a lot of awful things being said by women]
I've heard a lot from both sides. But I find that a lot of it comes from insecurity and feeling inferior. When people are uncomfortable they criticize or make jokes about it. It's easier for them to deal with it that way. I think everyone should go to therapy at least once in their lives. You learn so much. Most of the things you say I helped you with - I learned there. Maybe I learned because I actually listened.
[cleaning the bathroom]
Once a week is plenty, that's all I ever do. Vacuuming doesn't bother me at all. The bathroom is my weak spot. It's because I have long hair and every time I have to pull the hair out the drain - I feel queasy, but I just take a deep breath and do it.
> I think you could short-circuit my brain fairly easily if you wanted to. (Something tells me I shouldn't have said that.)
hmmmm? Don't worry, I won't!
> Tell me how you know you're going to have good dreams.
I used to have really bad dreams frequently, so I started reading up on dream analysis. There is a way to remember, but it takes practice. When you first wake up, don't move your head. Lie still and if you still can't remember, try repositioning your head slowly. Sometimes if your head gets back into the position it was in while you were dreaming, it can trigger you to remember. Once you roll over or get up, it's gone for good.
I have this one book that equates every single thing you could possibly dream about with sex. It's a serious book, but it makes me laugh. This writer has his own set of problems!
Which reminds me, do you read any sci-fi?? If so, who's your favorite author? Mine is Robert A. Heinlein[72]. When he passed away, I cried. I always wanted the opportunity to meet and talk with him. To me, he was the very best. His book "Stranger in a Strange Land" was what really hooked me on Sci-Fi. It's funny how I don't take the time to read much anymore. I used to be obsessed with reading.
Well, I'm going to try to nap for another hour. Yah right!.
Talk to your later,
Norah
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Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 07:09 AM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Feeling Better!
Good morning to you. I finally actually got one of these in the morning. Instead of jumping on my exercise bike or going back to sleep, I decided to see if I had any new mail from you. Pretty safe bet, it seems.
[going to need 12 hours solid sleep]
Sort of like me on Sunday. It's not productive, but boy, does it feel good. Until you go to get up and discover that you have no energy. I don't know about you but sleeping that long is worse for me than not enough sleep.
[Mick]
Maybe the reason he does this to you is because his girlfriend won't let him get away with it, and he needs some sort of outlet. I've known people like that. I'm a particularly easy target because my mouth tends to move much faster than my brain. Rather than watch myself, I usually end up trying to come up with things that they don't even really need to twist around. If you can't beat them, join them.
> How can anyone use intuition as justification? Wouldn't hold up in court!
Exactly.
> REALITY CHECK! Then these women are reading too may romance novels!!
Ah, so that's where it comes from. I thought Cosmopolitan[73] magazine was to blame.
> I'll make it easy for you: I meant it. (Ooops, a little too direct)
I don't mind, but I would think that you would be a little concerned about raising my expectations too high. Especially if I'm planning on coming up there to visit you.
> I think everyone should go to therapy at least once in their lives.
Sounds like you managed to find a good therapist. Around here, I think you're just as likely to find someone who's going to tell you “Here’s your Prozac. Next!"
>[cleaning the bathroom]
> It's because I have long hair and every time I have to pull the hair out the drain - I feel queasy.
Eeewwwww. My hair falls out a lot, but it's short enough that it doesn't build up in the drain. Most of it washes right down. At least, it has been.
> I have this one book that equates every single thing you could possibly dream about with sex.
It wasn't written by Sigmund Freud[74], was it?
So, what does it say about dreaming you're a starship captain? Do I even want to know?
> Which reminds me, do you read any sci-fi?? If so, who's your favorite author? Mine is Robert A. Heinlein.
How does a sex-obsessed dream book remind you of Heinlein? Oh, wait, I think I get it.
I only discovered Heinlein less than a year ago. My brother bought a book which was the "Notebooks of Lazarus Long" intermissions in "Time Enough for Love" extracted and made into their own book. I decided that this Lazarus was my kind of guy, so I read "Methuselah’s Children". Then I found a collection called "The Past Through Tomorrow", which I should have read first, because it leads up to "Methuselah’s Children". Then I read "Time Enough for Love". I'm not quite sure what I think of that last one. I could have done without some of the stuff in the last quarter. I barely started "Stranger in a Strange Land", but it seems that I never get around to reading lately.
I was pretty obsessed with reading in junior high. I read almost 50 Star Trek novels as fast as I could. Most Trek novels aren't what I would call great science fiction, but they were entertaining at the time. I stopped reading in college because I didn't have the time. That got me out of the habit, and I keep trying to remember to get back into it. Often, it just doesn't occur to me that I should be reading instead of watching TV.
[I.T. guys … labeled me "Demanding"]
Why, just because you want them to actually do their jobs? Too bad, I say.
The only thing I can think of is to check the file attributes of the *.grp files in the windows directory. If they're read-only, Windows might be smart enough to notice and act accordingly. I've never known Win 3.1 to be smart, though. You might have some special security edition which prevents you from messing around with the setup or something.
[I am demanding at work]
Sounds to me like you're not being unreasonable.
[pay me to stay home and play on the Internet]
So, writing me doesn't technically count as playing on the Internet? Too bad.
[try to nap for another hour]
Good luck. I don't even want to think about it, or I'll be in there asleep.
Well, I had better jump in the shower or I'm going to be dragging into work even later than normal.
Talk to you later
Jason
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Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 06:28 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Totally bizarre day!
Hello from a very tired Norah.
My brain is completely fried!!
Today has been the opposite of yesterday. There’s a new guy in technical services that decided he was going to IPL (Initial Program Load or reboot) two of our systems from his PC. Big surprise when the systems went down without any prior notification during peak business hours! This guy performed a "CLM" (Career Limiting Maneuver). One of the systems was our Commercial Billing System while running month end customer billing. Big ouch! And the other was the one that rates all the Commercial and Residential calls. Bigger ouch!
We had to get together a group of 10 programmers and divide up our problems to get this resolved. We had to work in three teams and it's going to take 2 days of restores to recover. I'm glad it wasn't me that was responsible for that one. I've done some good ones, but not like this.
I finally figured out what my problem with Windows was. It was PROGMAN.INI. Someone had set it so that it won't allow you to delete, copy or move anything in Windows I fixed it!!! NOW IF I COULD JUST GET A NETWORK PRINTER SOMEWHERE IN THE BUILDING TO COOPERATE!
BTW, Dave came by my desk and saw my Dakota picture on the wall. All he said was: "It really is full of surprises, isn’t it?" I was laughing so hard, I had to go out in the hallway to compose myself.
> I don't mind, but I would think that you would be a little concerned about raising my expectations too high. Especially if I'm planning on coming up there to visit you.
High expectations are good, and I'm not concerned. Well, it depends on what your expectations are. If you're expecting some slinky, sexy bombshell of a model - dream on and stay home! If you’re expecting an average person - that's different. Let's face it, your personality and mind have gotten under my skin. I had a lunch date with someone at work today, and I almost fell asleep. All I could think was: "Jason's conversations are never this boring! Jason would never say something this stupid." After talking with you so much, I'm stuck comparing everyone that shows any interest in me, to you. See what you've done!
[written by Sigmund Freud]
No. In the Acknowledgements he does mention that it is particularly indebted to the works of Sigmund Freud and a host of others.
[dreaming you're a starship captain]
This is funny. He doesn't mention starship or captains, but here's what he says about Airplanes and Ships:
Airplane: A swift, and easy, journey toward the goal, without much concern for details on the way. Flying: the longing to "lift off," get out of a rut, often to flee into the realm of the imagination. Erection and sexual fantasies.
Ship: A "vessel," a hollow receptacle, therefore a woman, or the feminine nature. Masculinity, a man, because it is phallus-shaped and cleaves the water.
A hollow receptacle, therefore, a woman??? Where does he get off??? This guy needs help!!
> How does a sex-obsessed dream book remind you of Heinlein? Oh, wait, I think I get it.
Because I was talking books??
[Heinlein books]
You're killing me. I own every one of this man's books, including the biography edited by his wife called “Grumbles From The Grave”. I haven't even read half of them, but I had to own them. Too bad they are only paperbacks, but the hard covers would have cost a small fortune. Is there anything else that we have in common?? This is eerie!
[writing me doesn't technically count as playing on the Internet]
No, it doesn't. It technically counts as playing with Jason!
Are you still at work? I'm through for today, and so glad to be home. Even though my brain is having trouble, I seem to have a lot of energy.
Write back soon,
Norah
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Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 05:32 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Totally bizarre day! -Reply
[very tired Norah]
Hi. I missed hearing from you today. I guess you've been too busy. That's all right.
[Norah’s completely fried brain]
That's pretty much my normal state of being. Have some rum.
[the opposite of yesterday]
Oh, ouch, ouch, ouch. Poor Norah. Sounds like hell.
There's a fine line between doing things which are stupid and what I call "aggressively stupid". I don't understand the details of this maneuver, but it sounds like it probably qualified as aggressively stupid.
> I've done some good ones, but not like this.
I should hope not.
> I finally figured out what my problem with Windows was...
Good for you. I didn't even know it was possible to do something like that. How do you do it? That sounds like a good thing to do to someone else's computer.
> NOW IF I COULD JUST GET A NETWORK PRINTER SOMEWHERE IN THE BUILDING TO COOPERATE!
I'm sure yelling at it will make it work better. If that doesn't work, swear at it a lot. Believe it or not, when I was working with prototyping hardware in college, we discovered that computers and electronics work much better if you swear at them. Loudly. (Did I already tell you this? If I did, I apologize.)
> Dave came by my desk and saw my Dakota picture on the wall. All he said was: "It really is full of surprises, isn't it?"
Does he know about us? (I wish I could convey the strange feeling I just got after typing that. I've not thought about me and you as an "us" before.)
> If you're expecting some slinky, sexy bombshell of a model - dream on and stay home!
What *I've* done? I think we're both to blame. And I'm going to feel really guilty if you miss out on finding someone in Toronto just because you can't find anyone who compares to what you think of me. I do think you're overrating me. I appreciate it, but I hope I can continue to live up to your image of me.
And, no, I'm not expecting some slinky bombshell of a model. I don't like those -- they look like they're made out of plastic. I do have to admit that I'm really curious to see what you look like, though. I think about you quite a bit, and it's hard for me to visualize you. If you have a picture of yourself that you could scan in and send to me, I would like to finally see you.
In the interest of fairness, I managed to find a digitized picture of myself that they took here at work to put on the system. It was taken almost exactly a year ago, when I was about 15 kilos heavier and had my really stupid-looking beard. (Needless to say, I don't like this picture.) If you would like to see it anyway, I can send it on over. I'll have to go home first since I don't know how to do that with our work system. I'll have to see if I can find a recent picture of myself that I don't hate and commandeer my dad's scanner. The only picture I can think of that I like was taken for the yearbook in my senior year of high school. It's a little out of date.
> No. In the Acknowledgements he does mention that it is particularly indebted to the works of Sigmund Freud and a host of others.
No surprise there. Anyone who relates everything back to sex usually claims to have been influenced by Freud. I think Freud needed to get out more.
> Airplane: A swift, and easy, journey toward the goal, without much concern for details on the way. Flying: the longing to "lift off," get out of a rut, often to flee into the realm of the imagination. Erection and sexual fantasies.
Well, that has many words but says nothing.
> Ship: A "vessel," a hollow receptacle, therefore a woman, or the feminine nature. Masculinity, a man, because it is phallus-shaped and cleaves the water.
So, it is both the feminine nature and masculinity? Does this guy list LSD in the acknowledgements section?
> A hollow receptacle, therefore, a woman??? Where does he get off??? This guy needs help!!
I'm guessing he specifically meant a "non-pregnant woman". When was this written, anyway?
>> How does a sex-obsessed dream book remind you of Heinlein? Oh, wait, I think I get it.> Because I was talking books??
Actually, I was thinking of "Time Enough for Love". As the title suggests, that's the main theme of the book.
>[Heinlein]
> You're killing me. I own every one of this man's books, including the biography edited by his wife called “Grumbles From The Grave”. I haven't even read half of them, but I had to own them. Too bad they are only paperbacks, but the hard covers would have cost a small fortune. Is there anything else that we have in common?? This is eerie!
I don't know, but it's sure going to be fun finding out! What shall we try next? Movies? Well, non-Trek movies, anyway.
Speaking of which, when are you going to go see the new Star Trek movie?
> No, it doesn't. It technically counts as playing with Jason!
Yeah, but over the Internet. I think I would be arguing that the mail handling needs some extensive testing. It needs to have some really long messages sent out to somebody in, oh, say, Utah or something.
Oh, hey, Alanis is on the radio. Imagine my surprise.
> Are you still at work?
Yeah, I'm still here. I'm trying to decide if I'm actually going to get anything done tonight if I come back in after dinner. Something tells me I'll just be wasting my time. The company pays for my dinner if I do that, so I might as well, if I can actually do some work.
Send me a quick note when you get this and let me know if you want me to try sending that silly picture on over. You can view jpeg format, right?
Until later,
Jason
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Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 08:32 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: quick note
Hi,
> You can view jpeg format, right?
I'd love to see it but it's not really important if you don't want to. And yes jpeg format is fine.
I'll reply soon,
Norah
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Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 07:04 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: quick note
> I'd love to see it but it's not really important if you don't want to. And yes jpeg format is fine.
Here you go. Let me know if it doesn't work. I'm trying to guilt you into sending me a picture :-).
I hope you're not worried that I'm not going to want to talk to you anymore if I should happen to find out that your appearance is somehow less than perfect. That's not why I'm asking. I would just like to be able to picture you in my head when we're talking. I can hear you laughing, but I can't see you.
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Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 09:08 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Totally bizarre day! –Reply
Hi there!
> Hi. I missed hearing from you today. I guess you've been too busy. That's all right.
You're sweet. I can't write you from work. Well, not yet anyway. I'm trying to get access though.
> That's pretty much my normal state of being. Have some rum.
Maybe I will.
> Oh, ouch, ouch, ouch. Poor Norah. Sounds like hell.
It was. Usually, operations get blamed for every single thing that could possibly go wrong. I've overheard many conversations about those stupid operators. They're not stupid just tired and burnt out. I'm glad the smart asses got blamed this time.
> Good for you. I didn't even know it was possible to do something like that. How do you do it?
I'll let you know tomorrow as I don't have the same file on Windows '95 and I just can't remember now.
> Does he know about us?
Of course, he doesn't - I don't kiss and tell! That's why I couldn't stop laughing. Everyone was totally clued out. Are we an “us”?? That does feel a bit strange but kind of nice.
>What *I've* done? I think we're both to blame.
Don't feel guilty. If I can't enjoy talking to someone, what's the point? There is no image! I just know what I hear.
> I do have to admit that I'm really curious to see what you look like, though.
I don't have anything current other than a totally disgusting driver's license and company security card. Really, really bad. Even my mom didn't recognize me. Everything else is old and doesn't count. I guess I'll have to go get something made.
Everyone at work says that my looks have change a lot in the last month. I don't see it, but they do. They say I look a lot better. Yet the only change was my hair. I don't get it; all I did was wear it down instead of tied back. In the computer room I had to keep it out of the way. I've had it caught in the printer more than once and it really does hurt. I think they're confusing looks with attitude.
> It was taken almost exactly a year ago, when I was about 15 kilos heavier and had my really stupid-looking beard. (Needless to say, I don't like this picture.)
Don't be so self-conscious. I'm the least judgmental person around.
> If you would like to see it anyway, I can send it on over.
Yes.
> The only picture I can think of that I like was taken for the yearbook in my senior year of high school. It's a little out of date.
Funny, my high school picture is my favorite too.
> … dream analysis book… When was this written, anyway?
Believe it or not, 1980!
> … more things in common… I don't know, but it's sure going to be fun finding out! What shall we try next? Movies? Well, non-Trek movies, anyway.
Whatever you choose. I'm afraid to start.
> Speaking of which, when are you going to go see the new Star Trek movie?
I don't know! I don't feel like going alone and the only other Trekkie friends I have are married or with someone. My single friends don't really care for it. I guess I may have to wait for the video.
> It needs to have some really long messages sent out to somebody in, oh, say, Utah or something.
Cute! It may actually work.
> I'm trying to decide if I'm actually going to get anything done tonight if I come back in after dinner. Something tells me I'll just be wasting my time.
Do you honestly think that I'll let you get any work done??
BTW, the running total of Ontario residents that have lost their license since Friday due to DUI is 303. I can't believe how stupid these people are after everyone had been warned for at least a week. Duh!!
I also found out that I'm the lucky one to be on call over Christmas. They decided without my input that the married ones shouldn't have to be on call. Thanks a lot. So, what do they do? Let me have New Year's Eve and Day off. Big deal. I never go anywhere then anyway. I guess I'll have to have my mom come over here, because I don't feel like lugging laptop and my On-Call Bible down there with me as well as I may need talk to Kansas City or Dallas. I wouldn't want to run up her bill for company business.
I think I'm going to need to take some time off in January. I really do need a break soon.
I'm going to take my dogs out for a walk. They are insistent.
Write back soon,
Norah
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Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 09:35 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: your picture
Hi Jason,
> Here you go. Let me know if it doesn't work.
Worked fine!
> I hope you're not worried that I'm not going to want to talk to you anymore if I should happen to find out that your appearance is somehow less than perfect
I'm not worried, I know I'm not perfect. But it's the truth. I don't have a current picture. I've trashed all my wedding pictures and those were the most current. I promise I'll go get something done this weekend. But then I have to get it scanned. This could be a problem as the good scanner at work is in Marketing and they're on a different intellectual level than us mere computer people. If I start to whine, they might do it. Otherwise, I have to go to my favorite people - The LAN guys!!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with your picture. I just didn't imagine you in a shirt and tie!! I still have blue jeans and t-shirt in my mind. If I'm going to get something current, then so do you!
Write soon,
Norah
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Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 08:01 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: your picture
Hey there.
> I'm not worried, I know I'm not perfect. But it's the truth. I don't have a current picture.
Don't feel like you have to go out and get portraits done just on my account. I just thought you might have a Polaroid[75] sitting around or something.
Make the LAN guys do it. I had to send e-mail to three people before I found out where this picture was sitting, then I had to walk over to the other building to get it converted off the photo CD. It would have been faster to take a Polaroid and go over to Kinko's[76] to get it scanned.
> There is absolutely nothing wrong with your picture. I just didn't imagine you in a shirt and tie!!
Like I said, it was for work. I think I've only worn a tie to work on three other occasions in a year and a half.
I guess the person most critical of any picture is the person in it. I could point out all of the things that bug me about this one, but I don't want to draw too much attention to them.
I have some more current pictures I could scan. I'm wearing sunglasses in most of them, and I thought I should first send you one where you could see my face. If you want a current portrait, let me know and I'll see what I can do about getting one.
Jason
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Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 10:49 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: your picture
HI!
Are you at work or at home? If you're at work, are you getting anything accomplished??
I've decided to take you up on your advice and I'm having a rum and coke. I have to be able to sleep tonight. I'm completely at a loss trying to figure out how I jumped from sleeping 8 hours, to 6, then 5 and now 3. It's really weird! They say you shouldn’t have any alcohol before going to bed. But I can't seem to unwind. Do you ever get really hyper days and can't slow down?? I don't like it because I'm usually a mellow, relaxed person.
I find that I'm even typing faster. I'm sure I've got more typos in these than usual.
> Don't feel like you have to go out and get portraits done just on my account
Don't worry, I don't feel pressured! I don't have a Polaroid either. Just 2 - 35mm SLR's. So that would take time too. Developing, scanning, etc. I feel bad that you sent me one and I can't. Doesn't seem fair!
> Like I said, it was for work. I think I've only worn a tie to work on three other occasions in a year and a half.
I hate getting dressed up. It just doesn't feel like me. I'm too down to earth for that, but when the need calls for it - it's alright for a short time.
> I guess the person most critical of any picture is the person in it.
I can understand. I can't stand my own pictures. They never seem as if it's really me. I guess some people are more photogenic than others. I think I look a lot better in real life. This is really weird. As I'm writing about pics, I have the TV on and I'm listening to @discovery.ca[77] (a great science show on every weeknight) and they're talking about the new digital cameras. No film. Just goes on some sort of disk that you can download to your PC. This caught me totally off guard.
> I have some more current pictures I could scan. I'm wearing sunglasses in most of them, and I thought I should first send you one where you could see my face.
Sure, I'd love to see them.
> If you want a current portrait, let me know and I'll see what I can do about getting one.
Don't go to any expense or trouble. It's really not that important. Save your money to come up here and see me. (Oops, getting too direct again!)
By the way, I'm on my second drink and I hope I don't start sounding strange!
Write back soon. I want to hear from you one more time before I go to bed.
Norah
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Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 09:24 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: your picture
Hey!
> Are you at work or at home? If you're at work, are you getting anything accomplished??
No, I'm at home. I've been doing battle at the mall of all places.
> I've decided to take you up on your advice and I'm having a rum and coke. I'm usually a mellow, relaxed person.
What I hate is when my body is asleep, but my mind is still racing at full speed. I seem to be able to fix bugs in software in my sleep, though. I don't remember it when I wake up, but when I get to work I find the problem within five minutes.
> I feel bad that you sent me one and I can't. Doesn't seem fair!
Well, I had advance warning. I knew that I wanted to see what you looked like, but I didn't think it would be fair to ask you for a picture if I didn't have one to send to you.
> I hate getting dressed up.
Gee, that's exactly how I feel. Imagine that.
> I can understand. I can't stand my own pictures. They never seem as if it's really me.
[new digital cameras]
The ones I've seen just hook through a serial cable. That would be really neat, but for that much money I could buy a fairly nice 35mm camera and use my dad's flatbed scanner, or I could buy a really nice flatbed scanner and keep my 35mm instamatic.
>> I have some more current pictures I could scan.> Sure, I'd love to see them.
I'll scan them this weekend.
> Don't go to any expense or trouble. It's really not that important. Save your money to come up here and see me. (Oops, getting too direct again!)
That's exactly what I was thinking.
> By the way, I'm on my second drink and I hope I don't start sounding strange!
No more than usual (sorry, couldn't resist). No, you sound perfectly lucid to me. Methinks you need more rum.
> Write back soon. I want to hear from you one more time before I go to bed.
Hope this gets to you in time. It's 11:25 (your time).
Talk to you tomorrow
Jason
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Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 06:05 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Morning!
Good morning Jason,
I didn't wake up until 5 am. I think I'm back on track!!! Well, sort of. 12 - 5 is better than 12-3. I did wake up once at 3, but I told myself - no way - stop - close your eyes! It worked. Yeah!!!
> No, I'm at home. I've been doing battle at the mall of all places.
NO, NOT THE MALL!!! Well, we all have to do our time there sooner or later. I've been avoiding it for a while, but I know I have to get my mom something for Christmas and won't be able to avoid it for long. I guess I should get it over with ASAP. The closer to Christmas, the worse it's going to be!
Have you finished with your "MALL WARS", or do you still have unfinished crap to do there?
> What I hate is when my body is asleep, but my mind is still racing at full speed. I seem to be able to fix bugs in software in my sleep, though.
Nope, haven't fixed any bugs in software, but I have had some pretty wicked sci-fi dreams in the past. So now, I leave a pad of paper and pen beside my bed and if I can remember it, I'll write it down. One night, I woke up around 2 am and had the best dream. I was so convinced this would have been a best seller. I hurriedly made some notes and went back to sleep. When I got up in the morning and reread it with my coffee - it didn't even seem to be in English. I keep asking myself: "What the hell was I talking about?" Not one sentence made any sense - total gibberish.
> Well, I had advance warning. I knew that I wanted to see what you looked like, but I didn't think it would be fair to ask you for a picture if I didn't have one to send to you.
Maybe I shouldn't send anything and just keep you guessing! Nah, I wouldn't do that, but you'll still have to be patient.
> Gee, that's exactly how I feel. Imagine that.
Big surprise there! I don't think anything else we may have in common will surprise me now.
> No more than usual (sorry, couldn't resist). No, you sound perfectly lucid to me. Methinks you need more rum.
So, I sound strange, do I?... hmmmm. Oh yah! Watch it buster, or my hand will come through the PC again and smack you!!! Typical guy, trying to ply me with alcohol.
> Hope this gets to you in time. It's 11:25 (your time).
The way I sleep - any time could be "in time".
I'm almost finished my coffee and I can hear the shower beckoning me to come for a visit. Yah, yah - in a minute.
I guess I should get myself motivated to start getting ready. It's been slushing all night. That weird snow/rain stuff! I can just imagine how the roads are going to be. The general population is just going to have to panic now!
I have to go in to work and completely rearrange my schedule for today. Dave is ruining my organization. He sends me an e-mail last week to go to IBM on Wednesday Dec. 10 for a presentation. Huh?? I e-mail him back - Wednesday is the 11. What day is it Tuesday or Wednesday? He e-mails back - sorry, Wednesday. Last night before I go home, he says: "Don't forget, IBM tomorrow!" Huh?? I thought you said the 11th. Well, I meant the 4th. So, today I'm making him wear a tag that says: Today Is Wed. Dec. 4, 1996. I'm going to do this for at least a week. It's great having a manager that I can be myself with.
I had a meeting at noon which I really wanted to attend which luckily has been cancelled. He's so lucky!! I'm on the Development and Training Committee and hate missing these meetings. I enjoy deciding where to spend the Ontario governments' money! They've been taking mine for a long time. It's payback time!!
I normally would never volunteer for something like this, but after being cut from so many courses due to disasters at work, I thought I could do my part in making sure that everyone gets the chance to benefit from some extra training.
Now I tell Dave: "I'm the wrong person to cut training from now on!! Be very, very careful, or I won't get our department the money!!!" Funny how management always buckles where bucks are concerned.
I'm trying to make this a long e-mail seeing as I can't write back till I get home from work, but I'm running out of time. The shower is now insisting that I make an appearance. Have a good day!
Talk to you later,
Norah
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Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 10:37 AM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Morning! -Reply
Good afternoon, Norah.
> I didn't wake up until 5 am. I think I'm back on track!!!
Good for you. I think my no caffeine experiment may be starting to work. I was actually tired enough at 10 pm last night to go to bed. Of course, I might have just been tired from the mall.
> NO, NOT THE MALL!!! The closer to Christmas, the worse it's going to be!
Oh, boy, is that ever the truth.
> Have you finished with your "MALL WARS", or do you still have unfinished crap to do there?
Oh, I'm just getting started. I still have no idea what to get for almost everybody I know.
> Nope, haven't fixed any bugs in software, but I have had some pretty wicked sci-fi dreams in the past.
That's pretty funny. I sometimes listen to myself talking after I get up and wonder what language it's in. Of course, when I'm like that, it could be perfectly fluent English and I still wouldn't be able to process it. I've never tried the idea of writing my dreams down.
> Maybe I shouldn't send anything and just keep you guessing! Nah, I wouldn't do that, but you'll still have to be patient.
Well, if I'm coming up there, I'm going to find out sooner or later.
> Big surprise there! I don't think anything else we may have in common will surprise me now.
That's probably the best attitude to have. Of course, we might be surprised when we find things we don't have in common.
> So, I sound strange, do I?... hmmmm. Oh yah! Watch it buster, or my hand will come through the PC again and smack you!!! Typical guy, trying to ply me with alcohol.
No, you don't sound strange. Not very much anyway. (Sorry, there I go again.) Something tells me I'd better watch out myself for the alcohol ploy.
> I'm almost finished my coffee and I can hear the shower beckoning me to come for a visit. Yah, yah - in a minute.
Fascinating. Do other parts of your house talk to you? The only part that's ever talked to me was the toilet, and only after I've been drinking heavily. Of course, my bed doesn't need to talk to me. It just reaches out, grabs me, and drags me back for "just another ten minutes".
> I guess I should get myself motivated to start getting ready. It's been slushing all night
We haven't had that much weather here in Orem. This morning on the Salt Lake news they were talking about the storm that went through last night. It cooled it off enough that there were large patches of black ice on the freeways. All we got here was a lot of wind. It is pretty cold, though.
> It's great having a manager that I can be myself with.
Tell me about it. The guy who was managing this group had himself demoted back to programmer, because he was sick of putting up with all of the management duties. They promoted another guy who has only worked here a month longer than I have up to manager. He's a good guy, and he's almost as big a Rush fan as I am. I'm glad he took the job because they might have started looking at me next. I've seen that job and I don't want it.
> I'm trying to make this a long e-mail seeing as I can't write back till I get home from work, but I'm running out of time.
Well, that's all right. When I got to work I found another message that you sent here last night that didn't show up at home. I guess I'm just going to have to figure out how to get our work system to forward e-mail from the Internet over to my home address. I've clicked on everything and can't find it, so I guess you have to be smarter than the mouse to do it. One of my co-workers says he knows how, so I'll just have to surrender and ask for help.
Anyway, I might as well respond to a few things from the other message now. Let's see what we've got here...
> You're sweet. I can't write you from work. Well, not yet anyway. I'm trying to get access though.
That's all right. You had just mentioned once that you checked e-mail when you came home to let your dogs out at lunch. I think that was the day you had the lunch date, though.
> Of course, he doesn't - I don't kiss and tell! That's why I couldn't stop laughing. Everyone was totally clued out. Are we an “us”?? That does feel a bit strange but kind of nice.
I don't know. You're the closest thing I have to a girlfriend, but I'm pretty much clueless where those kind of things are concerned. I had just typed that sentence and thought it looked kind of strange. I was trying to figure out if I had misspelled the word "us" when I realized why I thought it was strange.
> Don't feel guilty. If I can't enjoy talking to someone, what's the point? There is no image! I just know what I hear.
Yeah, but I can't help thinking that if I hadn't come along you wouldn't be comparing other guys to me. Maybe that's a good thing, if I can help save you from settling for someone else who doesn't deserve you.
> Everyone at work says that my looks have change a lot in the last month.
Possible. Are you sure that your appearance hasn't changed with your attitude change? Even smiling more or wearing better clothes might make people think you looked better. I know that when I'm depressed I don't really care if my appearance goes to hell, and I stop doing anything about it.
> Don't be so self-conscious. I'm the least judgmental person around.
I'm glad to hear it. I'm probably the most self-judgmental. I'm not very judgmental of others, just me. I don't know why some part of my brain believes that I'm the only one around who has to be perfect, but it does.
> … Star Trek movie … I don't know!
If we can find it and you still haven't seen it, I might end up taking you myself.
> Do you honestly think that I'll let you get any work done??
Nope. That was why I did a little shopping.
> Ontario residents that have lost their license since Friday due to DUI is 303.
It's like I said, there's stupid and then there's aggressively stupid. Hopefully some of these people will learn their lesson and stop doing that.
> … on call over Christmas.
Gee, stereotypes at work? I guess they think married family-oriented people want to be together at Christmas and single people want to go out and party and get drunk on New Year's. It would have been nice of them to ask, at least.
> I think I'm going to need to take some time off in January. I really do need a break soon.
I'll try to figure out what our schedule is here. After each deadline, we usually get a couple of days off to make up for the overtime hours. I have some other vacation time as well. Hopefully we can overlap our vacation time so we can spend time together when I come up. (Notice I said when. I have every intention of visiting you if I can possibly swing it.)
Well, I guess I'd better get to work. Until later,
Jason
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Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 06:23 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Take a break!
Hi Jason,
> I think my no caffeine experiment may be starting to work. I was actually tired enough at 10 pm last night to go to bed. Of course, I might have just been tired from the mall.
It was probably the mall! Whenever I have to do shopping I always come home and feel the need for a nap. Now I plan my strategy and do everything in one day as I know I'll be tired anyway. Might as well get it all over with at once.
> I sometimes listen to myself talking after I get up and wonder what language it's in.
I've even talked in my sleep! My mom says I can carry on complete conversations if I'm spoken to. As a kid, I used to walk in my sleep. My mom would be watching TV and I'd get up, walk over, and turn off the TV and go back to bed. She'd be sitting there laughing at me. Thank God I don't walk around anymore. That could be trouble! Can you imagine waking up in the street or in your truck?
> Of course, we might be surprised when we find things we don't have in common.
I think you're right.
> No, you don't sound strange. Not very much anyway. (Sorry, there I go again.)
Strange is good, isn't it? It's better than some boring people I know.
> Something tells me I'd better watch out myself for the alcohol ploy.
Yah right! <smirk>
> I'm glad he took the job because they might have started looking at me next. I've seen that job and I don't want it.
No, I wouldn't want it either! Too much political crap, budgets, hiring/firing - yuk!!
I really made my manager happy today. We had to go to this IBM thing, and I asked him if he'd like to go up there in my truck. He starts drooling! As we're leaving, I threw him the keys and let him drive up. He was like a kid in a candy store. He was so happy he bought lunch. Now he's really got the Dakota bug and I don't think it's going to pass. Guess he and his wife are going to be having a serious discussion tonight.
> I guess I'm just going to have to figure out how to get our work system to forward e-mail from the Internet over to my company address.
I'll just be more careful where I send it!
> You had just mentioned once that you checked e-mail when you came home to let your dogs out at lunch. I think that was the day you had the lunch date, though.
No, it wasn't. I came home on Monday. Lunch was yesterday.
> You're the closest thing I have to a girlfriend, but I'm pretty much clueless where those kind of things are concerned.
What a nice thing to say. I don't think you're clueless at all.
> I was trying to figure out if I had misspelled the word "us" when I realized why I thought it was strange.
Now I feel clueless - why did you think it was strange??
> Maybe that's a good thing, if I can help save you from settling for someone else who doesn't deserve you.
So, I wouldn't be comparing them to you, but I would be comparing them to what I've got in my head as the right type of person. I think my therapist already took care of that anyway. I'll never settle for anyone that I can't relate to. That part of me is dead and buried. I'd rather stay alone than settle for someone who isn't good for me. I've learnt my lesson, thank you very much.
> Are you sure that your appearance hasn't changed with your attitude change?
You're probably right. I never thought of it that way.
I have my final appointment with my therapist this Monday. Last time I saw her she said she didn't want to see me again as I've probably got it more together than she does. I told her I just want to make sure that I'm not slipping back because my fears and insecurities come back every once in a while and it can be kind of scary! I don't like getting depressed like that. It's too self-destructive.
> I'm glad to hear it. I'm probably the most self-judgmental.
You too? I said I wasn't going to be surprised by anything else we have in common, so I'm not.
> If we can find it and you still haven't seen it, I might end up taking you myself.
You're being sweet again.
OH NO! Alanis is on the radio - SAVE ME!!
>> I think I'm going to need to take some time off in January. I really do need a break soon.> I'll try to figure out what our schedule is here.
I didn't say that to pressure you, believe me. Even though it would be nice if it was sooner, than later. It's just that I was so burnt out yesterday, I felt like I could have taken a week off right then and there. I have a lot of time built up and I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to do with 4 1/2 weeks. I know I'll definitely take time when you come up, but I still will have a lot of time left. Hey, maybe I'll visit you next time.
You asked what was in PROGMAN.INI that prevented me from using Move, Copy or Delete? At the bottom was: EditLevel=4. Once I removed that, all was back to normal. After you change it, you need to exit Windows and restart it for the change to become effective.
Write back soon,
Norah
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Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 05:30 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Take a break! -Reply
Hi Norah,
> It was probably the mall! Now I plan my strategy and do everything in one day as I know I'll be tired anyway. Might as well get it all over with at once.
Good idea. I keep second-guessing myself and going back to change what I got. Maybe I should just wait for last-minute panic to set in. I work best under pressure anyway.
[sleep walking]
That's pretty spooky. The only thing worse would be waking up at work in the morning in your pajamas. I'm pretty sure I don't do anything like that. Of course, I used to think I didn't snore, until I actually woke myself up once. I was in a strange position, which explains why I was snoring so loudly, but it was still pretty startling.
> Strange is good, isn't it? It's better than some boring people I know.
True. I don't think it's a very good synonym for "interesting", though. All kidding aside, I don't think you're at all strange. I do think you're interesting. Not to mention really sweet.
>> Something tells me I'd better watch out myself for the alcohol ploy.> Yah right! <smirk>
Smirk? If it was "reassuring smile" I wouldn't be worried. "Smirk" makes it sound like you're hatching some devious plan to get me just drunk enough to go along with whatever you want. I'd really better watch out.
Of course, it might be more fun to just pretend to be drunk and then go along anyway.
> [manager job]
> No, I wouldn't want it either! Too much political crap, budgets, hiring/firing - yuk!!
Exactly. My new boss has realized just how much fun none of this is as well.
> … my manager drove my Dakota.
Guess his wife is going to be really pissed at you if she finds out you're responsible for this. I'm glad you're trying to sell more Dakotas. I don't know anybody who could afford one right now, but I'm always on the lookout.
>> You're the closest thing I have to a girlfriend, but I'm pretty much clueless where those kind of things are concerned.> What a nice thing to say. I don't think you're clueless at all.
I'm glad you think so. But I still don't know if we qualify as an "us" or even what the pre-requisites are.
> Now I feel clueless - why did you think it was strange??
We're trapped in a circular conversation. I think when I originally sent it, I said I thought it was strange because I had never thought of us as an "us" before. This isn't really that big of a deal. I just typed "Does he know about us?" and then I thought "us? There's an 'us'?"
I guess it depends on how you pronounce that sentence. If you say it "Does he know about... *us*?" it might make more sense what I'm babbling about. Imagine it as a line in a soap opera or something.
> So, I wouldn't be comparing them to you, but I would be comparing them to what I've got in my head as the right type of person.
That's very good to hear. Sounds like you've got it under control. I'll stop worrying about it and trust that you're a big girl and can make your own decisions.
> I have my final appointment with my therapist this Monday. I don't like getting depressed like that. It's too self-destructive.
Yeah, but everybody I know gets like that once in a while. You seem extremely well-adjusted to me. I wouldn't worry about it.
>> If we can find it and you still haven't seen it, I might end up taking you myself.> You're being sweet again.
Can't help it. I can't show this side of my personality to my male friends because they would probably think I was coming on to them and stomp my guts out. I've lost touch with my other close female friends. They all got married.
> OH NO! Alanis is on the radio - SAVE ME!!
Quick! The antidote! 50 ccs of Pink Floyd, IV push, stat!
Sorry. I guess I've seen too many episodes of ER[78].
> I didn't say that to pressure you, believe me. I know I'll definitely take time when you come up, but I still will have a lot of time left. Hey, maybe I'll visit you next time.
Sure, come on down. See how the Mormons live.
I still want to see what our schedule is though. I'm looking forward to seeing you. Right after we send this out the door would be a perfect time because I'm going to be really burned out by then. Unfortunately, I think it probably won't be until February, though.
Well, I guess I had better get back to work. I don't know what I'm going to do if they wise up and cut off my outside e-mail. Let's hope it doesn't happen.
Write back as soon as you get a chance.
Jason
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Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 08:38 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Take a break! –Reply
Hi again!
I'm so glad to be home now. Some days there doesn't seem to be a better place to be.
What time are you working till?
Are you doing the MALL WARS after work again?
I really have to get out there myself. You know what it makes me feel like. A Lemming! Walking around aimlessly lost and confused and eventually walking off of a cliff and plunging to their death. Can you tell how much I enjoy this event?
This weekend, I'm going to make a serious effort the get this done. Oh yeah! I have to somehow do this picture thing too.
> Of course, I used to think I didn't snore, until I actually woke myself up once. I was in a strange position, which explains why I was snoring so loudly, but it was still pretty startling.
Oh-oh. I don't know if I snore, but one night I woke up suddenly and I couldn't tell if it was me or the dog, as his nose just happened to be an inch away from my ear.
> True. I don't think it's a very good synonym for "interesting", though. All kidding aside, I don't think you're at all strange. I do think you're interesting. Not to mention really sweet.
WOW! Interesting and sweet. I don't think I can handle much more. Sweetly interesting... interestingly sweet... hmmmm!! How is it you know all the right things to say??
Don't kid yourself. I can be a real bitch if I want to be. I just never want to be unless someone has really pissed me off.
> Smirk? If it was "reassuring smile" I wouldn't be worried. "Smirk" makes it sound like you're hatching some devious plan to get me just drunk enough to go along with whatever you want. I'd really better watch out.
I think you know me better than that! If you have to get someone drunk in order to get them to go along with you, then they would've never wanted to be with you in the first place. That would hurt more than anything else! Mind you, a few drinks to relax the nerves never hurts.
> Of course, it might be more fun to just pretend to be drunk and then go along anyway.
I see. An actor too!
> Guess his wife is going to be really pissed at you if she finds out you're responsible for this.
His wife knows me. I'm sure I'll get a phone call sometime in the near future.
> I'm glad you think so. But I still don't know if we qualify as an "us" or even what the pre-requisites are.
I don't think I know either.
> We're trapped in a circular conversation.
STOP! I'm getting dizzy!
> That's very good to hear. Sounds like you've got it under control. I'll stop worrying about it and trust that you're a big girl and can make your own decisions.
You're damned right! I don't do anything anymore unless I want to.
> Yeah, but everybody I know gets like that once in a while. You seem extremely well-adjusted to me. I wouldn't worry about it.
Thanks. I guess I am, but if I spend too much time alone at home with nothing to do, I fall into that trap and that's when I could end up doing really stupid things. I just have to learn how to deal with those type of days.
> Quick! The antidote! 50 ccs of Pink Floyd, IV push, stat!
Did I mention to you that Pink Floyd has always been my very favorite band, or is this one of those eerie things again?
HOLD THE PRESSES! This is getting too eerie!!! There's a new song on the radio as I'm writing -- by Rick Wright (keyboardist for Floyd). This just gave me a chill!
> Sure, come on down. See how the Mormons live.
Well, it would only be fair if the next visit was mine, right??
> Unfortunately, I think it probably won't be until February, though.
That's fine. Maybe I'll finish unpacking by then. Probably just the incentive to finish this place. How long can you come up here for?? Give me enough warning so that I can book my holidays and I don't blow Dave's schedules all to hell. I think to be fair to him, I should let him know a couple of weeks in advance.
BTW, I was just assuming that you'd be staying at my place while you're here. That wouldn't bother you, would it? You can stay wherever you're most comfortable, though. I just never gave it any thought until now.
> … cut off my outside e-mail. Let's hope it doesn't happen.
No! We can't have them cutting you off. Then where would I be??
Talk to you soon,
Norah
P.S. I overheard something interesting at work. Two women were talking in the hallway, and one said: "I've learned something very important and helps me through it -- Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery and Today is a gift. That's why we call it the Present”… hmmm.
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Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 08:54 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Take a break! -Reply -Reply
Hi, Norah!
> I'm so glad to be home now. Some days there doesn't seem to be a better place to be.
True. And other times there's no worse place to be. It all depends on your mood.
> What time are you working till?
Well, I left at 6, but now it's 8 and I'm back. I guess I'll stay until I get sick of being here. Oh, wait, that's right now. I guess I'll stay until I decide that it's bedtime. If I can make this message long enough, that will just about do it.
> Are you doing the MALL WARS after work again?
No, I'm still recovering. I'm also still trying to figure out what I'm going to get for everybody.
> A Lemming! Walking around aimlessly lost and confused and eventually walking off of a cliff and plunging to their death. Can you tell how much I enjoy this event?
That's good. I usually feel like one of a herd of cattle. Sounds like you enjoy shopping even less than I do.
> This weekend, I'm going to make a serious effort the get this done. Oh yeah! I have to somehow do this picture thing too.
Whenever it's convenient. There's no big hurry. You could probably milk this and get me to come up there sooner just so I can see you. Of course, I'm already planning on doing that as soon as I can, so it might not do any good.
> How is it you know all the right things to say??
I usually just say what's on my mind. I'm learning how to say what's in my heart as well.
> Don't kid yourself. I can be a real bitch if I want to be. I just never want to be unless someone has really pissed me off.
Good. I wouldn't have been able to respect you as much if you were one of these meek women who act like everything is their fault and let people walk all over them. You see this happen a lot in cultures where women don't have a very high social standing, like some areas of Asia or the Mormon church.
> I think you know me better than that! If you have to get someone drunk in order to get them to go along with you, then they would've never wanted to be with you in the first place.
I actually thought about this a while ago and came to the same conclusion you did. I decided that I shouldn't sleep with a drunk person unless we had been together previously. I think it's good to decide these things when I'm sober. If I've had a few, I can't make decisions, but I can usually enforce them. I'm normally so inhibited that I've never been drunk enough where I said anything I really regretted. Alcohol just lowers my inhibitions to the point where I'm not nervous about saying things that I want to, but normally wouldn't be able to.
Given how nervous I usually am around women, I think I will need a few drinks if I ever get to that point. No, make that when. I've gotta stop thinking so negatively.
> I see. An actor too!
No, not really. I'm sure I wouldn't have convinced you.
> His wife knows me. I'm sure I'll get a phone call sometime in the near future.
Now you just need to figure out a way to sell her on the idea. I think they need two Dakotas: his and hers.
> You're damned right! I don't do anything anymore unless I want to.
Good for you! Give 'em hell, Norah!
Sorry, just got a little carried away there.
> If I spend too much time alone at home with nothing to do, I fall into that trap and that's when I could end up doing really stupid things. I just have to learn how to deal with those type of days.
What kind of stupid things could you do? Nothing too serious, I hope. My problem is that I start thinking about my life no matter what I'm doing. Staying busy doesn't keep me from getting depressed. Although I haven't gotten that way since I've started talking to you.
> Did I mention to you that Pink Floyd has always been my very favorite band, or is this one of those eerie things again?
I think when I rocketed down to Vegas to see Rush you mentioned that you wouldn't do that for anybody other than Floyd.
> HOLD THE PRESSES! This is getting too eerie!!! There's a new song on the radio as I'm writing -- by Rick Wright (keyboardist for Floyd). This just gave me a chill!
So how is it?
Actually, I haven't been watching ER lately. The first couple of seasons were really good, but they seem to keep recycling the same stories, so I stopped watching. Well, they did for a while, but my mom says they're better now.
> Well, it would only be fair if the next visit was mine, right??
I have to make the first visit a reality first.
> I think to be fair to him, I should let him know a couple of weeks in advance.
I'll probably be able to swing a week off of work, plus the adjoining weekends. I'll have to see what the comp time situation looks like. Do you think you'll be sick enough of me in a week? I'll try to give you as much advance warning as I can, but schedules are a pretty nebulous concept around here.
> BTW, I was just assuming that you'd be staying at my place while you're here. That wouldn't bother you, would it? You can stay wherever you're most comfortable, though. I just never gave it any thought until now.
Doesn't bother me, as long as your dogs’ approve of me. I'm glad you offered. Shuttling me back and forth to a hotel would just eat up way too much time. Besides, I think we would just sit up and talk on the phone while I was at the hotel. Also, we can drink rum & cokes at your place and not have to drive anywhere. (Here we go, back to the alcohol, and we know where that leads.)
> No! We can't have them cutting you off. Then where would I be??
Waiting for me to get home so I can check my mail. You know, I think that if you do get access at work, we're both going to be in real trouble.
> Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery and Today is a gift. That's why we call it the Present”… hmmm.
That's an interesting way of putting it. There's certainly something to be said for not living your life in the past. However, I think there is also something to be said about considering the consequences of your actions. Also, today was created by yesterday. Whenever someone tells me that today is all that matters and I should forget about yesterday and tomorrow, I usually think they're over-simplifying things a little.
Oh, I forgot to tell you that I finally put the new Dakota ad up on my cubicle wall. The Mormon guy who works next to me reminds me of Ned Flanders from the Simpsons[79]. He came over and was checking it out, asking me if I was going to trade my Dak in on the new one. He didn't say anything about it being full of surprises, though. I even had my response ready: "it is full of surprises, especially the good kind."
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Thu, Dec 05, 1996, 12:23 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Working too hard!
Hi there Jason,
You sound like you're working far too hard.
> You could probably milk this and get me to come up there sooner just so I can see you. Of course, I'm already planning on doing that as soon as I can, so it might not do any good.
I wouldn't milk it. I just like to tease you.
> I usually just say what's on my mind. I'm learning how to say what's in my heart as well.
Wow again!!!! A man with a heart!!! You just don't stop surprising me.
> I wouldn't have been able to respect you as much if you were one of these meek women who act like everything is their fault and let people walk all over them.
Thanks, that means more than you know. The old Norah was a little like that. I used to blame myself for most things and always allowed people to walk all over me. I just wanted everyone to like me. Now of course, you know what I'm like -- if you don't like me, it’s your loss and your problem. I still have trouble accepting this major change in me. I don't ever want it to stop as people have much more respect for me now than before.
> I actually thought about this a while ago and came to the same conclusion you did. I decided that I shouldn't sleep with a drunk person unless we had been together previously.
Also, you can't enjoy it as much! Alcohol is too numbing.
> I'm normally so inhibited that I've never been drunk enough where I said anything I really regretted.
Ooops. I have. At a company Christmas party. A while back (not where I am now, thank God) my manager was having an affair with one of the female programmers. Everyone at work knew about it and never said anything. Well, needless to say, I was seated at the same table as they were - along with their spouses (spice as you say). I had a few too many, ok maybe more than a few, and just blurted out: "So Frank, are you and Laura still involved with each other, or is that over now?" Biggest ooops that came out of my mouth. I never knew what happened after that, other than Laura quit shortly after and Frank transferred to another city.
> Alcohol just lowers my inhibitions to the point where I'm not nervous about saying things that I want to, but normally wouldn't be able to.
Well, I guess I better stock up on my rum supply. <kidding>.
> Given how nervous I usually am around women, I think I will need a few drinks if I ever get to that point. No, make that when. I've gotta stop thinking so negatively.
Good. I'm glad you caught yourself. Just don't be nervous around me or I'll get nervous too.
> What kind of stupid things could you do? Nothing too serious, I hope.
Well, things like going out to a bar by myself, long drives in the middle of the night, crying myself to sleep, and feeling incredibly sorry for myself. I would call those pretty damn stupid.
> Staying busy doesn't keep me from getting depressed. Although I haven't gotten that way since I've started talking to you.
Thanks again. I have to admit, my depression relapses are a lot fewer and farther between since I started talking to you as well. We seem to be a good support system for each other.
> I think when I rocketed down to Vegas to see Rush you mentioned that you wouldn't do that for anybody other than Floyd.
Whew! I was getting nervous that I might have to call in "Unsolved Mysteries[80]" or something.
> … new Rick Wright song … So how is it?
It's pretty good. He sounds very Floyd. Every time I hear any of these guys do solo stuff, they each still have the Floyd sound. I guess it's the style they each like and it's probably why they were so good together.
> I'll probably be able to swing a week off of work, plus the adjoining weekends. I'll have to see what the comp time situation looks like. Do you think you'll be sick enough of me in a week?
Never! You’re too neat!
> I'll try to give you as much advance warning as I can, but schedules are a pretty nebulous concept around here.
Astronomer Jason just snuck out!
> Doesn't bother me, as long as your dogs’ approve of me.
Cindy's cool. Bobby needs a personality adjustment. He's nasty at first, but you just can’t show fear. He'll bark for about an hour and then settle down. He settles down a lot quicker with people that actually like dogs. He's relentless if he suspects you're not an animal lover.
> I'm glad you offered. Shuttling me back and forth to a hotel would just eat up way too much time. Besides, I think we would just sit up and talk on the phone while I was at the hotel.
Good! I'm glad. Going back and forth would be a definite waste of time. The selfish me doesn't want to unnecessarily throw away the short time we'll have.
> Also, we can drink rum & cokes at your place and not have to drive anywhere. (Here we go, back to the alcohol, and we know where that leads.)
Well, I guess I definitely have to replenish my rum supply. <no longer kidding>.
>> No! We can't have them cutting you off. Then where would I be??> Waiting for me to get home so I can check my mail. You know, I think that if you do get access at work, we're both going to be in real trouble.
You're right. I think I better not get access.
>... I even had my response ready: "it is full of surprises, especially the good kind."
Yup!!! I definitely agree!
I was getting ready for bed when your e-mail came in. Thought about leaving it till morning, but I couldn't resist. I just had to read it. And of course, once I read it, I just had to reply. Yes, I know… typical woman.
Anyway, I'm off to dreamland. Talk to you tomorrow. Sleep well.
Norah
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Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 11:18 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Working too hard!
Hey Norah
[working far too hard]
Well, after I sent that message to you I looked at what I was supposed to be working on, realized that my brain was drawing a total blank, and came home. Oh well.
> Wow again!!!! A man with a heart!!! You just don't stop surprising me.
I thought you already had that figured out. I also thought you were going to stop being surprised.
> Thanks, that means more than you know. The old Norah was a little like that. I used to take blame for most things and always allowed people to walk all over me.
I guess we could count this as another thing we have in common. I'm pretty sure I told you all about this. I used to be really meek and accommodating. Now I'm much more assertive. My manager thinks I'm awesome because I'm the only programmer he's ever seen who has the guts to tell the company president when he has a stupid idea. I just come right out and say, "that's never going to work, sir" while the other programmers try to figure out how to hide in a corner and write a memo to justify why it will eventually prove impossible.
[alcohol is too numbing]
Another good point.
[don't be nervous around me]
I'll try to relax. I can't make any promises, though.
> Well, things like going out to a bar by myself, long drives in the middle of the night, crying myself to sleep, and feeling incredibly sorry for myself. I would call those pretty damn stupid.
Maybe, but not serious. I didn't think you would do anything to hurt yourself, but I had to make sure. Remember, I live in the Prozac capital of the planet, and I know people who have attempted suicide. That's one of the few subjects I can't joke about.
> Thanks again. I have to admit, my depression relapses are a lot fewer and farther between since I started talking to you as well. We seem to be a good support system for each other.
I agree. I'm glad your "relapses" are getting fewer. Of course, there's another shopping-filled weekend coming up. Hope you're up to it.
[sounding very Floyd]
Did you ever hear Roger Waters' live Berlin performance of The Wall? Well, it was Waters and a whole bunch of other people, notably missing any other members of Floyd. What did you think? My roommate in college had it, and I could never make up my mind. I liked parts, but as a whole it never appealed to me that much.
[nebulous]
That's right, I think I was one of the first to start using that. That's been a couple of years ago, and I don't even notice anymore.
[Bobby]
How about if I bring him a steak or something? No, that would probably spoil him for dog food. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate that.
[replenish my rum supply]
Don't replenish it too far. I don't plan on getting toasted. One, possibly two in any given night.
> I was getting ready for bed when your e-mail came in. Thought about leaving it till morning, but I couldn't resist. I just had to read it. And of course, once I read it, I just had to reply. Yes, I know... typical woman.
Well, I did exactly the same thing. <Yawn> I should have been in bed an hour ago. It apparently isn't an exclusively feminine characteristic.
> Anyway, I'm off to dreamland. Talk to you tomorrow. Sleep well.
You too. Until tomorrow.
Jason
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Thu, Dec 05, 1996, 06:32 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Working too hard!
Hey there Jason,
[stopping being surprised]
Ok, ok - you're right! It's just that my head has a hard time believing it!
[being more assertive]
Be careful. I found with myself that at one point, I thought I was assertive, but it wasn't. It was aggressive. I had to find the happy middle ground. My therapist also taught me how to be direct but still diplomatic and tactful. It's just when I'm angry - my mouth doesn't cooperate, and I just end up saying crap. It's really hard to walk away, think about it and then state how you feel. But I'm learning!!
[telling the company president when he has a stupid idea]
That's great! I think I'm the only one who screamed "FUCK" to the CEO of the company. When I was on nights, I used to turn the lights down and blare the music. One morning, around 3:00 am, I was in the tape vault and when I came out. There were two men standing in the computer room. I didn't notice them until I was almost right there. So, I screamed "FUCK" and dropped my tapes.
I didn't realize who he was till he turned the lights up higher. I thought – oh-oh, guess I'm hitting the unemployment line tomorrow! He apologized tremendously and said it was his fault, he shouldn't have been coming around at that hour without any advance warning, etc. etc. Now, whenever he sees me, he just smiles and says hello Norah. No one else can figure out why he's so nice to me and doesn't even know the others' names. I guess when you almost give someone heart failure, you tend to be a little different. He hasn't been in the computer room since.
[try to relax. I can't make any promises]
Neither can I.
[suicide]
You're right! No joke there!
[another shopping-filled weekend coming up]
OH PLEASE - I think I'm going to hit the stores as soon as they open. I'd like to get it over with before the ignorant masses get there.
[Waters & live Berlin performance of The Wall]
I have to admit, I have a problem with Waters. I think he is too full of himself and gives himself far more credit than he deserves. I think the band has done pretty good without him. It's Gilmour that I really admire. I have a weak spot for good guitarists and he's great! I also like Dire Straits[81], Stevie Ray Vaughan[82], and a Toronto guy called Rik Emmett who used to play with a band called Triumph[83]. This guy was a great guitarist.
[spoiling Bobby]
He's already spoiled beyond belief. It's because he's so damned cute and he knows it. He doesn't want to share me with anyone or anything. It's as if he's love-struck. Maybe he should go to therapy next? I've never had a dog quite like this. He makes me laugh so much. Whenever I've become depressed and cry - he's right there crying and licking your face. He'll do whatever it takes to make you stop! He'll bring me his toys, my shoes, his leash, etc. Who can stay upset for long?
>> I was getting ready for bed when your e-mail came in.> Well, I did exactly the same thing. <Yawn> I should have been in bed an hour ago.
And you say that I'm addictive. So are you!!
I have to start getting ready for work now.
Talk to you later. Have a good day at work.
Norah
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Thu, Dec 05, 1996, 07:15 AM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Working too hard!
Hey Norah.
Well, the cat finally pestered me into getting out of bed. Fine: 1. feed the cat. 2. make coffee. 3. check for more mail from Norah. The only reason you're not a higher priority is that those other two are absolute necessities.
[assertive vs. aggressive]
Hmmm... that's sort of a subtle difference. It does seem like I'm most polite with people I can't stand. To a point. If that doesn't work, try the direct approach. I'm sure that looks to the person on the receiving end like I've lost my temper, but in reality I don't lose my temper very often. If I do, I can't speak coherently, so it doesn't do any good.
[computer room scare]
Sneaking up on you sounds like something I would do. I startle people quite often. I don't mean to. I think it's just because I'm so quiet.
There's one thing I really like about small companies: our president knows the names of everybody who works for him. He makes it a point.
I guess your CEO should be glad you weren't carrying any mace. That would have been really embarrassing.
[getting the shopping over with]
Excellent idea. The more carefully you plan it, the more quickly you can be done with it.
[Waters too full of himself]
That's what I decided about Waters after hearing his version of The Wall.
I like Dire Straits and Stevie Ray as well. I'm not familiar with Mr. Emmett. I also like Clapton[84] and Hendrix[85], especially when they're playing blues. I have an album of Hendrix playing classic blues. I like it quite a bit.
I also like bass guitar. However, other than Geddy Lee and Les Claypool of Primus[86], there aren't very many good bassists around.
[spoiled Bobby]
That's one thing about cats: they really don't give a damn what you think, as long as they get their food. Of course, just watching Pierre play usually cheers me up a lot, whether that's what he wanted or not. He's a real clown. Holding him in my lap and petting him is pretty relaxing as well. He's only sitting there for himself, but that's all right. I sort of like the independent attitude.
If you want to see spoiled dogs you should see my grandmother's. She can't say no to any animal. I swear, those dogs are better off than most people I know.
> I have to start getting ready for work now.
I suppose I do as well.
> Talk to you later. Have a good day at work.
Oh, I doubt it, but thank you anyway. Of course, I don't know what I'm whining about. My job could be so much worse. I'm just not happy unless I have something to complain about, though.
Talk to you later.
Jason
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To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Lunch Break!
Hey Jason,
Was it ever nice coming home for lunch and finding mail from you. Now my afternoon will be a lot nicer.
>3. check for more mail from Norah. The only reason you're not a higher priority is that those other two are absolute necessities.
I feel honored to be number 3.
> Sneaking up on you sounds like something I would do. I startle people quite often. I don't mean to. I think it's just because I'm so quiet.
Sneaking up on me... Ooooh! Seriously, there's a big difference when you're all alone in the middle of the night. You just don't expect to see another human, especially when you're behind magnetically locked doors.
[like Clapton and Hendrix]
I like Clapton too, along with Carlos Santana[87]. I'm allowed to be surprised now!!! I don't care for Hendrix that much. Finally - a difference. But if it's classic blues, it would have to be good.
[I also like bass guitar]
Bass is good too, but I don't know of anyone in particular that I like.
[something to complain about]
So, you're a complainer too. I complain a lot, but I tend to do it mostly with sarcastic humor.
I told Dave that I was going to be taking some time in February, but I wasn't sure exactly when. He didn't see a problem with it as February is a relatively slow month. Mind you, you'll be coming up here in the coldest month of our winter. I'll keep you posted with weather updates.
Dave has been bugging me all morning to find out why I'm taking vacation in February. He knows that I don't take vacations unless I have something to do. His curiosity is going to kill him, but I'm not saying anything. I like to watch these guys speculate and try to figure it out. It's really quite amusing.
Anyway, I should get heading back to work. I'll talk to you when I get home.
Bye for now.
Norah
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Thu, Dec 05, 1996, 11:07 AM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Lunch Break! -Reply
Hi Norah,
> Was it ever nice coming home for lunch and finding mail from you. Now my afternoon will be a lot nicer.
I'm glad you responded. I usually have to go the entire day without hearing from you.
Also, thanks for giving me an opportunity to test my new forwarding rule. I figured out how to forward mail from work over to my home account. Since I have my mail forwarded from home to work, I had to be careful to avoid getting into a loop with it. Anything I get which has an @ symbol in the “From: field” and was sent right to account, gets forwarded over. The system here says it did it. I'll have to dial in when I get home and see if it worked.
> Seriously, there's a big difference when you're all alone in the middle of the night.
That's true. Although I managed to scare the girl I was dating for a while in college pretty well. I went upstairs looking for her, and her roommate said she was gone but would be back in a minute, so I decided to wait in her room. She came back in, closed the door, and didn't notice me for a few seconds. I said, "hi". She screamed. I felt bad about scaring her, but it was pretty funny.
[Finally – a difference]
I guess we were bound to find some differences. Santana is all right, but I'm not really a big fan. I like Hendrix's other stuff as well. I don't remember what's on this blues album other than Red House, but Jimi didn't write any of it.
[complaining sarcastic humor]
Exactly. The only problem is that people often don't realize this and think I'm seriously upset. Especially since I often string a bunch of profanities together.
[coming up here in the coldest month]
That's a good point. Maybe we should do this in the reverse order: south in the winter and north in the spring. Of course, Toronto is more east than it is north. It can get pretty bloody cold around here in February. I guess if you wait until summer to come down here we can go four wheeling and maybe even do some camping. Salt Lake isn't exactly the excitement center of the country, so we may as well get out of the city.
> I like to watch these guys speculate and try to figure it out. It's really quite amusing.
You're a real sadist when you want to be, do you know that? I can certainly appreciate that. Are their memories good enough to put this together with the mysterious Jason person they never managed to track down?
> Anyway, I should get heading back to work. I'll talk to you when I get home.
I'm looking forward to it.
Until then
Jason
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Thu, Dec 05, 1996, 08:39 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Home again!
Hi Jason,
> I'm glad you responded. I usually have to go the entire day without hearing from you.
Ah! Did you miss me??
> Also, thanks for giving me an opportunity to test my new forwarding rule.
I actually sent the lunch time message directly to your work as I knew you'd be there. I forgot that you forward your mail. I think I'll just keep sending it to your home to make sure you get it!
[scaring girls]
Funny? Do me a favor and don't go around scaring me. You forget, I took the self-defense course. I wouldn't want to react without thinking!
[bound to find some differences]
Geez, there seems to be a lot less and insignificant differences than there are things in common.
> … sarcastic humor … The only problem is that people often don't realize this and think I'm seriously upset. Especially since I often string a bunch of profanities together.
Yup. That's happened to me too. A lot of them just don't get my sense of humor.
[cold February]
Of course, I want to come down in the summer. But I hope this still means you're coming up in February?? We'll fight the cold together! (snicker)
[a real sadist when you want to be]
Yup!!!! Their memories are pretty good, but I haven't heard anything yet. I'm sure it's a matter of time. Mick's the one that was really curious about who Jason was. He's been on days off until tonight. I'm sure he'll piece it together. Then, he'll be on my case for a very long time. Not in a bad way, but he'll be watching everyone I talk with. Poor guy! I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't need him looking out for me anymore. He seems to enjoy the job.
So now that I had to bring up vacation time - Dave has managed to shirk some of his management responsibilities on to me. "Since you want vacation, you can coordinate everyone else’s and schedule ample coverage for everyone." I should have known better. Every time someone complains or asks him about something - he passes the project over to the person who first brought it up. I won't dare mention that the computer room needs major cleaning under the tiles!!
When I finish this e-mail, I have to dial in to my bank and pay some bills before I forget. Then, I'm going to try to go shopping. Maybe it won't be so bad tonight. Most people get paid either on the end of the month or on Friday. Tonight, might actually be tolerable.
Wish me luck.
Talk to you soon,
Norah
PS. I couldn't send this to you earlier because the ISP server was down. This made the decision for me, and I went to the MALL -- I survived, barely. I'm home now!
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Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 09:52 AM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Home again! -Reply
HI Norah,
I waited until this morning to respond to this since we talked for two hours on the phone last night. I hope you weren't disappointed when you didn't get any mail from me this morning.
I hope you don't think any less of me after finding out that I own handguns. You seemed a little turned off by the idea. I don't use them for hunting, nor do I have any illusions of defending my home against intruders. One, that sort of thing doesn't happen very often in Orem. Two, it usually doesn't work as the homeowner can't get to the gun or the criminal gets there first. I only have them for bull’s-eye shooting at paper targets. It takes a lot of concentration; you have to be able to shut out everything but one finger and the sights. It's like yoga or meditation for me. It helps me relieve a lot of stress.
> Aaaah! Did you miss me??
I did. I'll get over it, but it's not as nice as when I get mail from you during the day.
> I forgot that you forward your mail. I think I'll just keep sending it to your home to make sure you get it!
That's what I thought. Sending to my home account is the best policy, though. I'm pretty sure they won't cut me off here, but if they do I'll be over on my home ISP exclusively.
> Funny? Do me a favor and don't go around scaring me. You forget, I took the self-defense course. I wouldn't want to react without thinking!
Well, it was funny later when she got over being startled. She said it was sort of amusing but try not to do it again.
I'll have to keep your special forces training in mind. I wouldn't want to find myself suddenly flat on my back on the floor with your hands around my throat. (Or would I?) Maybe I should wear a bell or something so I can't sneak up on you.
> Of course, I want to come down in the summer. But I hope this still means you're coming up in February?? We'll fight the cold together! (snicker)
Mmmmm... a big blanket, a couple of cups of coffee... sounds cozy.
Okay, I've got a real February calendar here. Well, I have a program that will generate one. Last night I was looking at the tiny January calendar in the "next month" spot on my 1996 calendar. Here is my plan is it now stands:
Feb. 1 is a Saturday. I would fly up there on the 1st and take the 3rd through the 7th off of work. I would fly back on Sunday the 9th. That will give us a whole week together plus whatever we can salvage of the travel days. Does that sound all right with you? I'll call the airline as soon as I can and see what I can work out.
Talk to you later
Jason
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Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 12:58 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Home for the Day!
Hey Jason,
I'm off till Monday morning!!!! They gave me the afternoon off as a thanks for all the hard work on the Recovery Project. I think I need it.
> I waited until this morning to respond to this since we talked for two hours on the phone last night. I hope you weren't disappointed when you didn't get any mail from me this morning.
Nope! I was running late this morning and barely had time to look after the dogs. I was really surprised that you called, though. I thought you didn't like phones. Anyway, it was really nice talking to you. This may sound a bit weird, but I like listening to your accent. You could talk to me for hours about anything, I just like hearing your voice/accent.
> I hope you don't think any less of me after finding out that I own handguns. You seemed a little turned off by the idea.
It's not that I'm turned off, they just really frighten me. I have my reasons.
[guns]
Target shooting is A-OK, but I'm really against hunting. I love animals too much and the thought of shooting one, for anything but self-defense or food, bothers me a lot.
> I'll get over it, but it's not as nice as when I get mail from you during the day.
You're being sweet again. Thanks… ok, I like it.
> I'll have to keep your special forces training in mind. I wouldn't want to find myself suddenly flat on my back on the floor with your hands around my throat. (Or would I?)
Maybe!
> Mmmmm... a big blanket, a couple of cups of coffee... sounds cozy.
Funny that we can talk like this on e-mail but it’s a very different story on the phone. Hmmmm, 2 nervous people - this could be different. We'll either scare each other away, or tremble together.
> Feb. 1 is a Saturday. I would fly up there on the 1st and take the 3rd through the 7th off of work. I would fly back on Sunday the 9th. That will give us a whole week together…
It sounds great! Dave has already approved that week for me, but he said if for some reason I need to change my plans, that was ok too.
I'm going to look around today and find out where I can get this picture thing taken care of. It's only fair that you see what I look like.
Write soon,
Norah
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Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 11:38 AM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Home for the Day! -Reply
Hi Norah,
> I'm off till Monday morning!!!! They gave me the afternoon off as a thanks for all the hard work on the Recovery Project. I think I need it.
Good for you! Now the only question is, what are you going to do with yourself? You already have all of your shopping done.
It's too bad you didn't know about this ahead of time. I'll bet the mall is a lot less crowded right now than it was last night.
[your voice/accent]
What is my accent like? Nobody ever thinks they are the ones with the accent. I've heard that Utah has a very strong 'r' though.
I called for a couple of reasons. First, I wanted to talk about this vacation in person. Trying to do something like that over e-mail usually takes about five or six messages to get everything ironed out. Second, I wanted to hear your voice again. Your accent is subtle, but I can hear it. It's Canadian, but not as strong as in the Yukon. Your 'o's are a bit rounder, for lack of a better term. If I remember the next time I talk to you I'll try to show you what I'm talking about.
I'm not as bad with phones as I used to be. Also, the fact that we've talked before helped. I only had to pick it up once to call you. None of this pick it up, chicken out, put it back down bullshit.
[… fear of guns… I have my reasons]
I'll try to keep that in mind. I'll lock them up if you come to visit me. I've had gun safety drilled into my head since I was five years old. It's one thing that I take incredibly seriously. I took a pistol marksmanship class in college. The instructor told me that I was really safe, almost to the point of being a little too cautious. I said, "good."
>> … Self-Defense course … wouldn't want to find myself suddenly flat on my back on the floor with your hands around my throat. (Or would I?)> May-be!
I don't know. I don't think I'm really into the rough stuff. Of course, I guess I won't know unless I try it, will I?
> Funny that we can talk like this on e-mail but it’s a very different story on the phone.
I noticed that as well. I don't know if it's because I'm more nervous when I'm on the phone, or if it's just because it's real-time. When I'm writing e-mail, I sometimes take a few seconds to think about what I'm going to say. In a real conversation, by the time I do that, the moment's passed. I think once we can talk in person I'll be able to relax.
[already approved that week for me]
Derek (my manager) said that sounds good on this end. I think I already mentioned this, but my dad knows someone who can get good rates on airline tickets. I want to talk to that guy and see what I can learn.
Come to think of it, I think I've mentioned that more than once, haven't I? I have a bad habit of repeating myself. I sometimes can't remember what things I've told to what people, so I just go ahead and say it again. If you catch me doing this, just tell me so. I would rather you tell me than make you sit through the same story again.
Well, I'll get back to work for now. Let me know what you decide to do with your time off. If you get bored tonight and want to call me, I would love to hear from you. I don't think I'll be going anywhere. If my plans change, I'll let you know.
Talk to you later,
Jason
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Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 03:05 PM (MST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Weekend plans!
Hi Jason,
[what are you going to do with yourself]
Don't kid yourself. I have tons to do right here at home. I was just upstairs having a coffee with the neighbors, and she asked me the same question. I told her that I was going out later to see if I can get a picture of myself because I don't have anything current. She corrected me: "Oh yes you do!" I forgot that she was outside taking pics of her dogs and saw me in the truck getting ready to go out. She came over and took a few pictures of me in the truck. I had forgotten all about those. She gave me the roll to go and get it developed. Who knows what they look like though? Funny, she never asked why I needed it! That solves one problem. Now how do I get it scanned? There must be a place around here that would do it? Any ideas?
[Utah accent]
The “r” is a bit strong, but it's just very pleasant to listen to.
[wanted to hear your voice again]
You're just too sweet for words!
[not into the rough stuff]
Don't worry, neither am I.
> Mmmmm... a big blanket, a couple of cups of coffee... sounds cozy.
Doesn't it though!
>> Funny that we can talk like this on e-mail but it’s a very different story on the phone.> I noticed that as well. I don't know if it's because I'm more nervous when I'm on the phone, or if it's just because it's real-time.
I don't know??? I'm already nervous about what you'll think of me and you're not even here yet.
> I think I already mentioned this, but my dad knows someone who can get good rates on airline tickets. I want to talk to that guy and see what I can learn.
When are you planning on talking to him?
> Come to think of it, I think I've mentioned that more than once, haven't I? I have a bad habit of repeating myself.
I do it too, so relax. If it bothers me, I'll tell you. Remember: I like to hear you speak, so if it's the same thing, it doesn't matter, just keep speaking.
> Let me know what you decide to do with your time off. If you get bored tonight and want to call me, I would love to hear from you. I don't think I'll be going anywhere.
I'm going to do what I said earlier and then the post office. The rest of the weekend will be unloading my wall unit, making room for the new one. Throwing out the couch, cleaning up, laundry, etc., etc., etc. Doesn't that sound exciting?? But I will definitely make time to call you. Just tell me around what time.
I'm just going to head out to the photo lab and see what kind of horrendous pictures I'll have. Yuk!
Talk to you later,
Norah
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Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 02:38 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Weekend plans! -Reply
Hey Norah,
> … pictures … Now how do I get it scanned? There must be a place around here that would do it? Any ideas?
I hope they turn out. I want to see your Dakota as well.
I think around here Kinko's will scan pictures. If you don't have those up there, they're just an all-purpose copying shop. Or, since you have keys to everything at work, you could just go over in the middle of the night and use the scanner when nobody is around.
> [not into the rough stuff]
> Don't worry, neither am I.
That's good to know. If you pick me up and throw me to the floor I won't go getting the wrong idea. Please try not to do that, though.
> I'm already nervous about what you'll think of me and you're not even here yet.
Well, I can tell you that there's nothing to be nervous about, but I know that doesn't help. I think when I'm going to really get hit by the nerves is when I'm walking off the airplane. Do airlines serve Captain Morgan?
> … airline ticket guy… When are you planning on talking to him?
I have to talk to my parents tonight to find out how to get a hold of him. I can try to talk to him tomorrow.
Of course, my parents are going to want to know where I'm going. They're a little old-fashioned, especially my dad. It should be interesting to see what they say when I tell them I'm flying to Canada to visit a woman I met on the Internet for a week.
My brother went to Michigan this past summer to spend some time with a female friend of his. They drove back to Utah together, which took all week. My dad's comment was, "I guess I'm the only one of the four parents who sees something wrong with two unmarried teenagers driving across the country together without adult supervision." My brother replied, "We're not teenagers."
Needless to say, my brother and father mix about as well as nitro and glycerin.
> … repeating oneself… I do it too, so relax. If it bothers me, I'll tell you. Remember: I like to hear you speak, so if it's the same thing, it doesn't matter, just keep speaking.
You know, I'm reminded of a Star Trek episode here (surprise, surprise). Picard was having dinner with some alien woman who had decided that she liked him quite a bit. Picard of course resisted her advances politely. She said she liked to just sit and listen to the sound of his voice. He said, "Now that I know that you're listening to my voice, I find that I don't have anything to say." I know I don't have Patrick Stewart's voice, but I appreciate your comments anyway.
[exciting weekend of housework]
The party never stops at Norah's. Sounds like work to me. But it has to be done, and I guess this is the best time to do it. Actually, my weekend plans aren't much more interesting: shopping.
I should be home and settled in by about 9:00 your time tonight.
> I'm just going to head out to the photo lab and see what kind of horrendous pictures I'll have. Yuk!
Don't feel like you have to send them to me if they don't turn out well and you don't want to.
Oh, I thought some more about your food question from last night. I like spicy food quite a bit (hence Mexican and Italian). I don't like curry, though. I also can't seem to make myself like corn. Other than that, I'm pretty easy to please (when it comes to food, anyway).
Oh, boy, I just looked at the clock. What's the point of being at work if I'm not going to get any work done? I will have to talk to you later.
Until then
Jason
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Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 05:51 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: A funny thing!
Jason,
Don't worry, no long e-mail, so you'll be able to get some work done. The following was left on my desk by the LAN guys. I thought you'd get a laugh out of it.
TOP TEN WAYS TO PISS OFF YOUR COMPUTER
10. Type softly and carry a big stick.
9. Dust cloth? What's that?
8. Keep rebooting until it begs for mercy.
7. You needed to put your coffee *somewhere*.
6. Remind it that its warranty expired last week, and no one's left to hear it scream.
5. Call it "that typey thing".
4. Make it jealous - use your laptop instead.
3. Fill your hourglass with silicon and play with it a lot.
2. No matter how loud it beeps at you, keep pressing "return" anyway.
1. Show naked pictures of it to the printer.
Thought you could use a laugh.
Norah.
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Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 06:52 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Weekend plans! –Reply
Hey Jason,
Don’t answer this e-mail from work. Maybe, don't even read it till you get home. Just finish up your work and I'll call you later.
DON'T READ TILL YOU GET HOME!!!
> I hope they turn out. I want to see your Dakota as well.
Well, they turned out like shit! She happened to take those pictures when I was going through that really bad crap. Yuk, yuk, yuk!!!
When I went out today to courier a package, these same people also scan pictures. In any format. I'll keep them in mind for future.
> Well, I can tell you that there's nothing to be nervous about, but I know that doesn't help.
You're right! It doesn't help one bit.
> Do airlines serve Captain Morgan?
Probably, but be careful. The altitude makes alcohol work a lot faster. When I went to Phoenix, it was in the middle of a Canadian Air Traffic Controllers strike. All flights were cancelled, so they bused us to Buffalo. For our inconvenience, they served free drinks. Well, by the time we landed in Chicago, I was totally pissed, got lost in that damn circular airport, and almost missed my connecting flight. Never again!
[Patrick Stewart's voice]
His voice is nice too, but yours is better.
> Actually, my weekend plans aren't much more interesting: shopping.
Shopping! I'd rather clean my house. But I'm sure I'll still have to run out tomorrow to get something else. There's *always* something else.
> I should be home and settled in by about 9:00 your time tonight.
I'll call you then.
> Don't feel like you have to send them to me if they don't turn out well and you don't want to.
Believe me, I'm not. I just wish I was more photogenic because they never look like me. Now I'm depressed!
> Other than that, I'm pretty easy to please (when it comes to food, anyway).
Mexican I can't make, Italian and Hungarian I can. Would you want to try Hungarian?
I'll talk to you later,
Norah
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Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 09:46 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Weekend plans! -Reply
Hi Norah,
Well, Nick wasn't home, so I decided to log in and clean all of the Dakota mailing list messages that have been sitting in my mailbox.
Even after talking to, you for two hours I scanned through this message and found a couple of things that I forgot to mention. Maybe I should print out your last e-mail before I talk to you next time :-).
> [Patrick Stewart's voice]
> His voice is nice too, but yours is better.
Now I know you're either flattering me or plain out full of shit. Stewart's voice doesn't do anything for me personally, but I have heard it and I can tell how nice it is. I do appreciate the comment, unbelievable as it is.
> … pictures… I just wish I was more photogenic because they never look like me.
I always blame the person who took them. I don't look nearly that bad in professional portraits, so it must be the photographer's fault.
> Mexican I can't make, Italian and Hungarian I can. Would you want to try Hungarian?
I'll try anything. I can't really make Mexican. Well, I can make pseudo-Mexican, which means I can brown ground beef, dump a packet of "Taco seasoning mix" in and spoon it into tortillas with some shredded cheese. Like I keep saying, low tech is the name of my cooking game.
I'm willing to try to help you cook if you can tell me what to do. I don't want to feel like I'm making you wait on me. Of course, two klutzy neurotic people in the kitchen at the same time might be a disaster waiting to happen.
Well, I had better stop there. Otherwise, I'm going to end up writing a novel or something. I want to have something to talk about when I get up there.
Write back when you can
Jason
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Sat, Dec 07, 1996, 01:42 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Weekend plans! –Reply
This is really weird. You'd think after we talked for so long, that checking out the e-mail wouldn't seem necessary. But noooo! Both of us did it. You know what they say - too much of a good thing...
> … Patrick Stewart… Now I know you're either flattering me or plain out full of shit.
Well thanks a lot. I'm not doing either. I won't try to convince you anymore. Just know that I think you have a very sexy voice, and that accent drives me crazy. Accept it or not, your choice!! I won't mention it again.
> … pictures…
What really scares me is maybe I really do look like that and it's just my perception of myself is not realistic. But everyone reassures me that the pictures are just really bad. I hope so. I wouldn't want to be labeled delusional as well as demanding!!!!
> I'll try anything.
Anything????? I'll remember that. Remember, it's in print. Thank God Mick isn't here. He would have twisted those last 2 lines beyond belief. The sad part is, that I managed to twist it in my head all by myself.
> Like I keep saying, low tech is the name of my cooking game.
Now you'll have to prove it and cook for me, at least one night.
> I'm willing to try to help you cook if you can tell me what to do.
I'm sure we could cook up something together. I must be very tired. I can't believe I just wrote that.
> I don't want to feel like I'm making you wait on me.
I don't wait on anyone unless I want to. Don't worry, you'll earn your keep.
> Of course, two klutzy neurotic people in the kitchen at the same time might be a disaster waiting to happen.
That's ok! Bobby would be there to pick up the accidents. He always is. He sits there and waits for things to fall down. The klutzier, the happier he is.
I was just curious about what you've told your brother and Nick so far. You were a true gentleman, asking if it was ok to mention me. Most guys would have done it anyway. Just do me a favor and don't go into any details about what I've told you. I don't think I'm at the point where I can handle too many people knowing. You'll have to tell me what advice your brother and Nick are giving you. I can just imagine.
It was really nice talking to you, but I got the impression that you only wanted me to call, so that you could make sure I wouldn't have a rough weekend. You're starting to sound like Mick -- looking out for me too much. It was extremely sweet of you, though.
I won't write you too much this weekend because I know you have a lot of work to do, and I don't want to take you away from it. I'll just wait for you to write.
Have a good weekend and don't work too hard. I'll be thinking about you. (BTW - this is one of those "I mean it" lines)
Write when you get a chance,
Norah
P.S. Don't forget to inquire about tickets.
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Sat, Dec 07, 1996, 10:07 AM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Weekend plans! -Reply
Hi Norah
> You'd think after we talked for so long, that checking out the e-mail wouldn't seem necessary.
It's not that weird, given the fact that we seem to be able to talk more freely through e-mail than we can over the phone. At least that's true of me. I'm not sure if you're the same way or if you're just holding back because you don't want to make me uncomfortable. I hope we can get over that by the time I get up there. BTW, if you're just holding back, I could probably use a little discomfort, so go ahead. It's the only way I'm ever going to get used to really talking to you like I write to you.
> I think you have a very sexy voice, and that accent drives me crazy.
Well, all right. I'm still not convinced.
Since you had mentioned my voice, I couldn't help but notice last night that yours is really nice as well. It could just be the smoking, but your voice is very... sultry. It's really nice to listen to. Especially with the slight accent you don't believe you have.
> Anything????? I'll remember that. Remember, it's in print.
Well, I'll try *almost* anything. I might not like it, but there's only one way to find out.
The problem with people like Mick is that you have to learn to think like he does in order to prevent him from twisting your words around. Then you just start thinking like that automatically.
You might have noticed that I don't really mind when you're re-interpreting what I say. Actually, I've left some subtle things in messages that I saw and thought about removing. I was hoping that you might pick up on them. If you have, I don't think you've really said anything.
> Now you'll have to prove it and cook for me, at least one night.
Ok. This will be interesting, to say the least. I'll have to find a recipe I think I can make.
> I'm sure we could cook up something together.
Mick would have had a field day. I, on the other hand, am looking forward to it.
> I don't wait on anyone unless I want to. Don't worry, you'll earn your keep.
Good. Nothing worse than feeling like a leech.
> That's ok! Bobby would be there to pick up the accidents.
I'll be careful not to drop too much. I wouldn't want him to get so fat he has to waddle around.
> I was just curious about what you've told your brother and Nick so far… You'll have to tell me what advice your brother and Nick are giving you. I can just imagine.
Well, your imagination is probably pretty accurate. I did feel a little bad about only saying I hoped you didn't mind after I had already told my brother about you. I'm sorry about that, but we were talking, and the conversation just seemed to go where I was thinking, which was about you.
I haven't told Nick anything myself, but I'm sure he knows everything I told my brother. This is what I've told him: your name, where you live, about your dogs, how much we've been talking to each other and that we're trying to exchange pictures, the fact that Rush played at your high school (he was as impressed as I was -- remember that we almost worship those guys), the fact that you used to be married to a total jerk, the fact that me visiting you was your idea, and the fact that you can be really flirtatious (I'm not going into any specifics there). Oh, and he was also asking me about our age difference. Neither of us were worried about it.
Believe me, I'm not about to tell them anything very personal.
> … You're starting to sound like Mick -- looking out for me too much. It was extremely sweet of you, though.
Well, there was that. I also like listening to your voice. Mostly I'm trying to get over my phone phobia. I'm getting better. I don't want us to be leaving notes for each other on the computer when I get up there.
BTW, are these phone calls costing you anything? I know they're not costing you very much, but even 20% is going to add up. It's not really fair to make you pay all of it. I should be helping out with it.
> I won't write you too much this weekend because I know you have a lot of work to do.
I remembered that my computer at home is set up so I can do my work here. I just have to swing by the office to get a couple of things and I'll try the work from home theory. I'm not sure how well it's going to work, to tell you the truth. I'll give it a shot, though.
> Have a good weekend and don't work too hard. I'll be thinking about you. (BTW - this is one of those "I mean it" lines)
I'm glad to hear it. I'll definitely be thinking about you as well.
Oh, I almost forgot to ask how the cleaning is going. Almost done?
Talk to you later
Jason
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Sat, Dec 07, 1996, 03:43 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Weekend plans! –Reply
Hi Jason,
I just came back from SHOPPING with my mother. This was the ultimate in nightmares! I had to circle the mall 3 times before I could find a parking spot which felt like it was in a neighboring province. I've had enough of this shit to last me a lifetime. But, you know moms: Norah, you really need this; Norah, isn't it time to replace that; how can you stand this piece of shit for so long, get a new one, etc., etc., etc. HELP ME!
> I'm not sure if you're the same way or if you're just holding back because you don't want to make me uncomfortable.
It's not that I don't want to make you uncomfortable, it's just that maybe I'm a bit nervous and don't want to give you any wrong impressions. Not that you probably don't have a few already.
> I hope we can get over that by the time I get up there.
I'm sure we will.
> If you're just holding back, I could probably use a little discomfort, so go ahead. It's the only way I'm ever going to get used to really talking to you like I write to you.
Ok then, be prepared.
> … your voice… Well, all right. I'm still not convinced.
Why do you find it so hard to believe? I guess you don't know me that well. I never bullshit anyone. I really DO like your voice! A LOT!!
> I couldn't help but notice last night that yours is really nice as well. It could just be the smoking, but your voice is very... sultry. It's really nice to listen to.
Why thank you. It's not as sultry now as it used to be. I've made a conscious effort to change it over the last few years. Too many guys at work used to call me for absolutely stupid reasons and it used to bug me.
> Well, I'll try *almost* anything. I might not like it, but there's only one way to find out.
That's right, sink or swim!!!!
> … Mick… Then you just start thinking like that automatically.
I think you're right.
> You might have noticed that I don't really mind when you're re-interpreting what I say. Actually, I've left some subtle things in messages that I saw and thought about removing. I was hoping that you might pick up on them.
Maybe I just don't want to cross the line and scare you off!
> Ok. This will be interesting, to say the least. I'll have to find a recipe I think I can make.
I'm sure you'll do just fine. You haven't died from food poisoning so go for it!
> I'm sure we could cook up something together... Mick would have had a field day. I, on the other hand, am looking forward to it.
Good, so am I.
> Nothing worse than feeling like a leech.
I somehow doubt you could ever be labeled that. You are too considerate.
> I'm sorry about that, but we were talking, and the conversation just seemed to go where I was thinking, which was about you.
Thinking about me?? Have another virtual kiss!
> … Stuff you've told your brother… age differences…
I've never worried about things like age differences from my viewpoint. I always concern myself with how the other person handles things like that.
Guess what? RUSH is on the radio. Why doesn't this surprise me?
> Believe me, I'm not about to tell them anything very personal.
Thank you.
> Mostly I'm trying to get over my phone phobia. I'm getting better. I don't want us to be leaving notes for each other on the computer when I get up there.
That would be cute! Don't worry, I'm the least intimidating person in the world. I won't let you touch the computer unless you want to play.
>… are these phone calls costing you anything?... I should be helping out with it.
Thanks a lot, but completely unnecessary. It's still not as bad as you may think. And even if it was - it's worth it!
> I remembered that my computer at home is set up so I can do my work here. I just have to swing by the office to get a couple of things and I'll try the work from home theory.
I just remembered. I'm not supposed to be writing you and taking you away from your work. I'm sorry. I'll let you get back to work.
> Oh, I almost forgot to ask how the cleaning is going. Almost done?
I've done squat - too busy battling crowds. I guess I'm staying up late tonight to work on it. BTW, I went to bed at 1:00 am and didn't get out of bed till 9:00 am. I'm impressed with myself.
Don't write back until you feel like you've accomplished some work.
Bye,
Norah
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Sat, Dec 07, 1996, 05:43 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Weekend plans! -Reply
Hi Norah,
> I just came back from SHOPPING with my mother… HELP ME!
I wish there was something I could do to help, but, like you say, I do know moms. There's no escape.
> It's not that I don't want to make you uncomfortable, it's just that maybe I'm a bit nervous and don't want to give you any wrong impressions. Not that you probably don't have a few already.
I might have a few wrong impressions, I suppose. You sound like you might be thinking of something specific. Are you?
>> If you're just holding back, I could probably use a little discomfort, so go ahead. It's the only way I'm ever going to get used to really talking to you like I write to you.> Ok then, be prepared.
Oh, boy. Something tells me I'm in for it now :-).
> Why do you find it so hard to believe? I guess you don't know me that well. I never bullshit anyone. I really DO like your voice! A LOT!!
Okay, okay. Thank you. I just never considered it one of my strong points.
> It's not as sultry now as it used to be. I've made a conscious effort to c[Patrick Stewart's voice]
His voice is nice too, but yours is better.
Oh, great. Guys sure can be annoying at times, can't we?
> Maybe I just don't want to cross the line and scare you off!
I don't think you have to worry about scaring me off. I think you should worry more about the fact that I might take your flirting too seriously and get the wrong impression.
> I'm sure we could cook up something together.
Cooking food or cooking "something up together"? Or both?
> Thinking about me?? Have another virtual kiss!
Mmmmm... how nice. Yes, I am thinking about you, a lot of the time. Every time some self-destructive insecure thought gets into my head I just remember how sweet and supportive you are, and I feel a lot better. Of course, I don't only think about you when I'm depressed.
> … age differences ….
It doesn't worry me. I am conscious of it, but not nearly as much as I was at first.
> RUSH is on the radio. Why doesn't this surprise me?
They were on my stereo earlier, but from a CD. I don't catch them on the radio very often.
> That would be cute! Don't worry, I'm the least intimidating person in the world. I won't let you touch the computer unless you want to play.
It might be cute, but it would be a poor substitute for actually talking to each other.
Gee, I've never even met Mick and I'm trying to guess what he might think of that last sentence. Just to clarify: exactly what is that I have to want to do before you'll let me use the computer?
[work at home]
I'm not sure the work-at-home idea was such a grand one. I spent most of the time screwing around anyway. Maybe when I get into a little more of a panic mode it will work a little bit better.
> I went to bed at 1:00 am and didn't get out of bed till 9:00 am. I'm impressed with myself.
Great! There's 8 hours right there. Of course, I'll bet the dogs didn't let you sleep a solid 8 hours.
> Don't write back until you feel like you've accomplished some work.
You don't want that; I might not write back for quite a while.
Well, I think I'm headed up to Salt Lake to brave the crowds at Gart Bros. I'd better get moving before it gets any later. I might go see a movie or something while I'm up there. I'll probably have to endure more "Internet romance" shit from Nick and my brother. Oh, well. I guess if I didn't care what they thought I would just let them go ahead and think whatever they want to. But I'm afraid that they're skewing this in the wrong direction.
Anyway, I'll check back when I get home. It might not be until fairly late, though.
Talk to you then
Jason
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Sun, Dec 08, 1996, 01:05 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Weekend plans! –Reply
Hi there Jason,
Things here are taking shape in this place, but very slowly. I can't believe how much crap I've thrown out today. But the best news of all is: All of my ex's things are gone too!!!! I feel like celebrating tonight. Too bad you couldn't be here.
> I might have a few wrong impressions, I suppose.
Like what?? I'm curious.
> You sound like you might be thinking of something specific. Are you?
Not really. It's just my insecurities again. No big deal.
> … Holding back … Oh, boy. Something tells me I'm in for it now :-).
Well… you asked for it! BTW, which one is the real Jason -- the one who writes, or the one on the phone?
> I don't think you have to worry about scaring me off. I think you should worry more about the fact that I might take your flirting too seriously and get the wrong impression.
Maybe you *should* take my flirting more seriously and what exactly would the wrong impression be?? Remember, you asked for it!
> Cooking food or cooking "something up together"? Or both?
Maybe both - who knows? All I know is that I like you a lot, but you may not feel the same. Either way - it's ok.
> … virtual kiss… Yes, I am thinking about you, a lot of the time. Every time some self-destructive insecure thought gets into my head I just remember how sweet and supportive you are, and I feel a lot better. Of course, I don't only think about you when I'm depressed.
Good. I wouldn't want to be considered a therapist and nothing more. I'd be hurt.
> … leaving notes for each other… It might be cute, but it would be a poor substitute for actually talking to each other.
Extremely poor.
> Just to clarify: exactly what is that I have to want to do before you'll let me use the computer?
I originally meant playing games on the computer, but I think your interpretation seems to be a lot more fun.
> Maybe when I get into a little more of a panic mode it will work a little bit better.
Hmmmm! The man works best under pressure. You shouldn't have told me that!
> There's 8 hours right there. Of course, I'll bet the dogs didn't let you sleep a solid 8 hours.
I think I may have been in a coma. I'm sure the dogs tried to bug me, but I was oblivious to all.
> I'll probably have to endure more "Internet romance" shit from Nick and my brother. Oh, well. I guess if I didn't care what they thought I would just let them go ahead and think whatever they want to. But I'm afraid that they're skewing this in the wrong direction.
What is the wrong direction?
> Anyway, I'll check back when I get home. It might not be until fairly late, though.
It's never too late for you!
Are you regretting asking me to not hold back??
I suppose that I should get back to the work that I've created here. Hope you had a good night.
Talk to you later,
Norah
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I did this for a few years and then I gave it up. I don't ever want to work for myself again. Hours were far too long, money = so-so, social life = nil, tax time = major headache, government dealings = unfair, etc. I'm much happier working for someone else and knowing exactly how much I'm going to make in advance. > I loved college so much, I’m trying to go back and never leave. You don't mean that do you? It would be as if you're hiding from the real world. Don't deprive the world of your contribution. We'd miss it too much. > I guess by that logic, my new pick-up line should be, "you know, you're lucky you met me." Something tells me that wouldn't go over very well. Don't even try it - unless you're really *into* rejection. I would be devastated if you met someone and stopped talking to me. But I guarantee that when you do meet someone, she won't let you continue with me. Women are very possessive. Ok, I sound really selfish, but I don't want to give you up that easy. BTW, I found Dilbert in the paper yesterday. It was very amusing. I could really relate to this one as I worked for an electronics company in HRIT (Human Resources Information Technology) department for a year. A lot of truth based in that cartoon. I also found the copy of MotorTrend[60] that states their vote for Truck of the Year. The FORD F-150. Don't like the outside at all, too round. The back seat of the SuperCab looks like it has a lot more leg room than the Dakota. I have mixed feelings about the third door though. Don't forget to make your coffee tonight!! See, I didn't forget to remind you. Talk to you later, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 3 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sun, Dec 01, 1996, 10:28 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: Shopping: Yuk [furniture buying] Good for you. What are you going to do with money other than spend it? So did your mom let you use the tactical strike method, or did she insist on browsing for hours on end? > My mom can't figure out why all the black. Can't help it, I like it. Oh, no. I think black furniture sounds really classy. What are you still planning on getting? Let me know if you sleep any better. [sleeping in] No, I was alone, unless you count the cat (I don't). I hate it because it wastes half the day. I'm just too lazy to get out of bed. I don't know why, because after I've been up for about 30 minutes I'm always glad I got up. It's just the part about getting my ass out of the bed that's hard. For some reason, my bed is about ten times more comfortable at 6:00 am than it is at 11:00 pm. > Where will it end. All I said was that it doesn't have to - does it? I sure hope not. > My liner was put in the truck while it was new, so there aren't any scratches that I noticed. Good deal. I didn't think there were. Knowing how you feel about your Dakota, I'm sure you would have painted over all the scratches by hand before putting a liner in there anyway. > … trip to Toronto and A/C installation… Sure, make me wait. Nice guy. Sorry, I meant to say, "both of those sound really unpleasant." No, really, I did. [Zip drive] It's more or less a 100-megabyte floppy. Only much faster than floppy drives. I got it so I could transport stuff home from work and back. I also wanted some sort of removable storage for backups or archives. [teaching me 9 ball] It's pretty simple. You rack only the first nine balls in a diamond shape. You have to touch the lowest numbered ball on the table first. Whoever sinks the nine ball wins. It's sort of an interesting diversion from 8 ball because it's possible to knock the one into the nine and win on the first turn. It's also possible to run the table then miss the nine and lose. I like 8 ball too. I usually play equal amounts of both unless I'm paying per game. Okay, okay, I'll stop harping on that now. > You seem to be doing just fine with me. Glad to hear it. I've thought for years that I needed to meet an older woman. Now I do and she lives on the other side of the continent. Typical. [self-employment] That's pretty cool. It takes a hell of a lot of ambition to even start something like that. Nick keeps trying to get me to do some consulting for $100 / hour. I keep telling him that I like having a steady paycheck, but the idea is tempting. Sounds like a good college job to me – flexible hours. > … staying in school forever… You don't mean that do you? It would be as if you're hiding from the real world. Don't deprive the world of your contribution. We'd miss it too much. Bah, the real world is overrated. I've seen the real world. It's full of selfish stupid people (you're an exception to that, of course). I feel that my best chance to contribute to the world is by doing research. Anybody who knows C++ could learn to do my job in a couple of weeks. Maybe not as well, but they could do it. Very few people are cut out for scientific research, and I'm pretty sure I'm one of them. Is that arrogant, or just confident? Oh, that reminds me. I looked up the University of Toronto[61]. You're right, they do have an astronomy program. They have an undergraduate program as well. One of the drawbacks to the U of Colorado is that they only have a graduate program, meaning I would have to get a physics degree first. The U of Utah offers that, so I can't justify leaving the state just for an undergrad physics degree. A real astronomy degree might be another matter. I wish I knew where the U of Toronto was ranked in astronomy. Colorado is number 12 in the nation, but the list that I have only ranks US schools. > … when you do meet someone, she won't let you continue with me. Women are very possessive. That assumes that I'll even tell her about you. No, I will. That sort of secrecy is no way to begin a relationship. I do not want to stop talking to you, in any case. It'll be interesting to see what happens in that situation. Of course, I'm not in any danger of meeting anyone right now. I need to figure out where the intelligent, attractive, single non-Mormon women in Orem (if they exist) go when they're out trolling for guys. Something tells me they go to Salt Lake, but I need to find the right places. [Dilbert cartoon] All of Scott Adams' cartoons have a lot of truth in them. He used to work as an engineer and then as a middle manager. Most of them are hilarious as well. That reminds me, I found a new Fox Trot[62] book tonight. This is my favorite comic strip, largely because of a certain 10-year-old computer and sci-fi nerd named Jason. I really love the ones that contain statements like, "Jason, nobody needs to own every single Star Trek episode on tape." I'm convinced that the author of the strip studied me when I was growing up. > … the Ford F-150. Don't like the outside at all, too round. I would imagine that it has quite a bit more room, since it's a bigger truck. The Dakota is meant to compete with the Ranger. I agree with you on the styling of the Ford. I don't like the looks of anything called Ford anymore. I have really bad memories of a Ford Granada that I drove in high school, so I'm not likely to buy anything Ford anytime soon. Four Wheeler[63] had a Ford F250, and it came in third (out of three pickups). The Chevy S10 ZR2 came in second. Obviously, Four Wheeler magazine looks at slightly different criteria than Motor Trend. I've never read Motor Trend. I like Car & Driver[64]. They're real smart asses, and the magazine ends up being really funny. [make your coffee tonight] Ah, yes. Thank you. I'm still on the decaf experiment (I'm going to give it at least two weeks -- supposedly that's how long it takes to get over the withdrawal). I'll make some decaf, though. It warms me up on those cold mornings. I'd rather have something in a cute brunette to warm me up though. (Sheesh, did I say that?) I hope you get this before you go to bed. I wouldn't want to disappoint you. I guess I should shut up and send it before it gets any later. Talk to you tomorrow. Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 4 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 04:29 AM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Morning check-in Morning!! Yes it's 3:00 am and I'm writing you! Your mail is the first thing I check for after taking care of the dogs. > So did your mom let you use the tactical strike method, or did she insist on browsing for hours on end? It was the browsing route! Went to 2 different massive warehouses and as I'm walking by - I spot it. I walk over, sit down, and say this is it! She looks at me and says we're only halfway through, let's look at the rest. Oh no, when I see it and love it, no need to go further. From the couch, I could see the wall unit at the end of the hall. She looks at me and says you're kidding. I could tell from there I don't need to look any further. Why does she insist on looking at everything and then back tracking to where we started out? When I see it, I know it? No need to sample everything when you find what you want. Of course, I had to lie down on it to test it for sleeping on. Wouldn't want to change my tradition of sleeping in the living room. [black furniture sounds really classy] OH NO! Same taste in furniture - this has got to stop. I still need a coffee table (black) and I've got my eye on some halogen lamps (black of course). I'm not sure if I did sleep better. From 10:00 pm to 3:00 am., but I slept right through. > It's just the part about getting my ass out of the bed that's hard. For some reason, my bed is about ten times more comfortable at 6:00 am than it is at 11:00 pm. I don't have that luxury. As soon as my eyes open, I better get up quick or the dogs will voice their disapproval by leaving me a gift. No thanks - I'll get up. >> Where will it end? All I said was that it doesn't have to - does it? > I sure hope not. Me too! I depend on you too much. I have to tell you something funny. When I got up this morning, my mom had already taken the dogs out and had coffee ready. I was really spoiled this weekend. I asked her if she'd like to move in and look after me like this and all she said was dream on - and come between you and your PC?? She was having her coffee and watching TV while I was writing back to you when I heard her laughing hysterically. She was watching the new Dakota commercial, and I couldn't figure out what was so funny. She said it was the last line - The New Dakota -- it's full of surprises! She said she thought about us and couldn't help it. > Knowing how you feel about your Dakota, I'm sure you would have painted over all the scratches by hand before putting a liner in there anyway. Ok, so you really do know me! > I like 8 ball too. I usually play equal amounts of both unless I'm paying per game. Okay, okay, I'll stop harping on that now. You sound too good. Don't think I'll play with you. Not pool anyway. > Glad to hear it. I've thought for years that I needed to meet an older woman. Now I do and she lives on the other side of the continent. Typical. Wow - I've never been called an older woman. Guess cause I've never really grown up. I don't know if I like it. > … self-employment… Sounds like a good college job to me – flexible hours. Flexible hours?? Get real - 20 hours a day, 7 days a week. And when you're not working on a project - you're trying to drum up sales. No thank-you. > Bah, the real world is overrated. I've seen the real world. It's full of selfish stupid people (you're an exception to that, of course). Thanks. > Very few people are cut out for scientific research, and I'm pretty sure I'm one of them. Is that arrogant, or just confident? Confident! I'm glad to hear it too. > I wish I knew where the U of Toronto was ranked in astronomy. Colorado is number 12 in the nation, but the list that I have only ranks US schools. I wouldn't know, but I can find out. What I do know is that it's a very impressive and prestigious university. A lot of Americans come up here for Engineering and Medicine as well. A large percentage of the residents at Toronto General hospital are American. Trivia for the day -- did you know that Insulin was discovered at this hospital by 2 Canadian doctors?? Did you also know that Alexander Graham Bell was a Canadian?? Well, actually, born in the UK, emigrated to Canada, and then later to the U.S. Ooooh Norah's gloating! > I do not want to stop talking to you, in any case. It'll be interesting to see what happens in that situation. You'd have to stop talking to me. I won't be labeled the "other woman". Don't forget - I know what that can do to a person's head and heart. > I'd rather have something in a cute brunette to warm me up though. (Sheesh, did I say that?) You sure did!! If you weren't so far away, I'd love to comply. Just remember the saying - Be careful what you wish for - you may get it! > I hope you get this before you go to bed. I wouldn't want to disappoint you. I guess I should shut up and send it before it gets any later. Well, you did disappoint me. I had to go to bed without hearing from you and suffer from Jason withdrawal. I don't think I like it. No... I know I don't. You want openness and honesty - here goes! I went to bed early because I hadn't heard from you and didn't want to hang around my PC waiting like some love-struck teenager. So there! > Talk to you tomorrow. You better! I'll be waiting. See ya, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 5 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 09:45 AM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Morning check-in -Reply Thanks for the mail. There's nothing better than getting a new message first thing in the morning. Unfortunately, I've got quite a bit to get done this morning, so I won't be able to really reply for a while. If I can have a productive morning, I can take the time this afternoon. BTW, making the coffee the night before does save some time in the morning. Good idea. Talk to you later Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 6 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 02:48 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Morning check-in -Reply > Yes it's 3:00 am and I'm writing you! Your mail is the first thing I check for after taking care of the dogs. Before coffee even? I'm impressed. Speaking of coffee, I was glad I got to mine this morning before the power went out. It was only out for about five minutes before it came back on. It was out again when I got home for lunch. Judging from the clock on the stove, it looks like it was out for over two hours before it clicked back on again. I'm waiting to see if it's out again when I get home tonight. They have a backup generator here at work, so I can't hope that I'll get to go home early. [furniture browsing] Well, gee, you might find something you like even more over here. At least you didn't have to drive to every single store in the whole city. Let me tell you how much I like shopping. I have a map of the mall, across the top of which I have written "Tactical map". I've circled all of the stores I might be potentially interested in. I use it so I can plan to go in the nearest door and spend a minimum amount of time in the mall. [taste in furniture] Is the couch leather? I don't think you mentioned that. I love leather furniture (if it's done right) but I can't afford it. I don't think you mentioned exactly what you changed in the bedroom, either. Geez, that sounds bad: "tell me more about your bedroom." Just say, "buzz off, pal." 10 to 3 doesn't fit my definition of sleeping well, but if that's what works for you, more power to you. Maybe it will just take a little while to adjust to the new surroundings before you can get on a normal sleep schedule. [getting up quick because of dogs] Ah, yes. I had almost forgotten about that feature of dogs. I'm impressed that they can tell when you wake up. [The New Dakota -- it's full of surprises!] I thought you didn't want your mom there because she kept doing all of your chores for you and making you feel lazy. Or did you figure out that you might as well let her, as long as she's willing to? I hadn't thought about that line in the commercial. I have at least four different magazines with the same full-color glossy ad for the new Dak that has the same line. I think I'm going to put it up on my cubicle wall at work. I'll be the only one here who gets it. I like to keep my co-workers guessing. [my truck… Ok, so you really do know me!] Well, from the way you talk about her, it's not too hard to figure out. [Don't think I'll play with you. Not pool anyway] Well, what then? I didn't mean to imply that I could make any of those plays, at least not on purpose. I seem to find myself on the receiving end of them more than I would like, though. I haven't played more than a couple of times a year since high school, so I'm pretty much out of practice. [never been called an older woman] Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have used the term "older". Maybe "more mature", "more experienced" or "less juvenile". I guess I should stop worrying about age differences, shouldn't I? When it comes right down to it, what difference does it really make? [self-employment & flexible hours??] Good point. I guess I shouldn't think things like that until I've actually tried it or talked to someone who's done it. Oh, boy. I was going through looking for anything I skipped, and my screen happened to have that last paragraph at the very top where I couldn't see what was before it. I'll bet it isn't too hard to figure out what I was thinking for a second. I should get my mind out of the gutter. [Confident!] I tend to be a little of both where intellectual efforts are concerned. [University of Toronto] Well, sounds good to me. I can probably get my mom to pay for the plane tickets up there if I tell her I'm checking out a potential graduate school. She's a teacher, and education has always been very important to her. Of course, she might want to go as well, and I wouldn't want to leave her in a strange city while you show me around. [Trivia for the day...] I did not know that. Did you know that Nolan Bushnell[65], the guy who invented Pong and founded Atari, came from Utah? He's not the most impressive person the state has produced, but I think he's probably one of the most interesting. [Norah's gloating!] Go ahead. I love Canada, remember? >> … If I got myself a local girlfriend > You'd have to stop talking to me. I won't be labeled the "other woman". Don't forget - I know what that can do to a person's head and heart. You make it sound like we're having some torrid affair. So let me get this straight. If the positions were reversed, if you found some guy in Toronto who you really liked, and he had developed a friendship with a woman who lived on the other coast, would you really make him cut off all contact with her? I can see where you might feel a little uncomfortable with them flying out to visit each other. But you might as well ask him to live in a monastery where he wouldn't even be able to look at other women. I would hope that if I did find someone, she would trust me enough to let me choose my own friends. I don't mean to belittle our friendship or how much you mean to me. But do you really think it's going to threaten a relationship with someone else? >> I'd rather have something in a cute brunette to warm me up though. (Sheesh, did I say that?) > You sure did!! If you weren't so far away, I'd love to comply. Just remember the saying - Be careful what you wish for – you may get it! <sigh> Are you deliberately trying to fuck with my head? > Well, you did disappoint me. I had to go to bed without hearing from you and suffer from Jason withdrawal. I don't think I like it. No....I know I don't. Sorry. I'm not sure what to do about it, other than spend all of my time talking to you. As nice as that sounds, reality keeps coming back to pester me. > You want openness and honesty - here goes! I went to bed early because I hadn't heard from you and didn't want to hang around my PC waiting like some love-struck teenager. So there! Um, just how serious is this getting, anyway? BTW, when I sent you my mailing address I forgot to ask for yours. What is it, anyway? (Don't ask why I want it. It's a surprise.) Oh, goody. It looks like the Dakota mailing list just went back online. Here comes the flood of messages. Well, I guess I'd better get back to work. You're really addictive, do you know that? Talk to you later Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 7 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 06:36 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Re: Morning check-in –Reply Hey Jason, > Well, gee, you might find something you like even more over here. Huh? > At least you didn't have to drive to every single store in the whole city. Thank God! [tactical mall map] I gotta try that. I usually look in the phone book for where the store is and plan my strategy. [couch] Nope, not leather. I can't have that with the dogs. It would be ruined in a month. They seem to believe that anything humans sit or lie on is perfectly fine for them as well. Bobby even sleeps with his head on my pillow. > I don't think you mentioned exactly what you changed in the bedroom, either. Just rearranged stuff and bought new pillows, sheets, comforter etc. Not a major change. > Geez, that sounds bad: "tell me more about your bedroom." Just say, "buzz off, pal." Well, if you're really interested... [dogs know when you wake up] Boy do they ever! First it starts with pawing at me, then a light, short bark, then toys are delivered to my face, then it's on the bed, off the bed, on the bed, off the bed. I don't wait for that point anymore. Cindy is 80 lbs. and when she jumps on you, she *will* leave bruises. [mom] This all happened Sunday morning. My mom had a hard time understanding why I like trucks so much, but she's finally come around. While we were shopping, she kept noticing trucks on the road and would say: "There's a nice truck" and all I would say is "That's a Dakota, mom". Then a few minutes later she'd say: "Now there's a really pretty truck." My reply: "That's a Dakota club cab, mom!" I think I have her converted as well now. Here's something ironic - while I'm writing this, Rush is on the radio! [Dakota ad on my cubicle wall at work] You stole my idea. I was planning on doing that tomorrow! >> You sound too good. Don't think I'll play with you. Not pool anyway. > Well, what then? Oh... I don't know, let's see... cards. Yah, that's it. [the term "older"] I had a package come to me at work and the courier was in his 50's and he said to me: Here you go ma'am! I told him straight - nope, no ma'am here, that's my mom. > I guess I should stop worrying about age differences, shouldn't I? When it comes right down to it, what difference does it really make? I don't think much! > I'll bet it isn't too hard to figure out what I was thinking for a second. I should get my mind out of the gutter. Yep, you're in the gutter. [leaving mom in a strange city while] Wouldn't be a very nice thing to do at all. This isn't the type of city that any woman should be alone in unless you know it well. She's more than welcome to come up too, but I'd rather you come up by yourself. Selfish, aren't I? BTW, if you want more info on the U of T programs, check out their website. [Nolan Bushnell… one of the most interesting] Wrong! You are. > … If I got myself a local girlfriend > You make it sound like we're having some torrid affair. Sorry! I told you that sometimes I get a little flirtatious. Maybe too much this time??? > I would hope that if I did find someone, she would trust me enough to let me choose my own friends. Sorry again. It's not like you think. It's just that I still have left over crap in my head about how innocent my ex always made his relationships with other women seem. Meanwhile... I guess I still have to deal with that one. What do they say? Once bitten, twice shy??? This too will pass in time. > I don't mean to belittle our friendship or how much you mean to me. But do you really think it's going to threaten a relationship with someone else? Depends how insecure the other person is. > <sigh> Are you deliberately trying to fuck with my head? No way! I would never fuck up anybody's head. I know better than you think, what that feels like. I've been through a lot more than I've told you and I wouldn't put anybody else on earth through that. Again sorry! I seem to be apologizing a lot today. > Sorry. I'm not sure what to do about it, other than spend all of my time talking to you. As nice as that sounds, reality keeps coming back to pester me. Don't worry about it, I was just fooling around. > Um, just how serious is this getting, anyway? I feel really embarrassed now. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It's just that you're so nice, and guys like you are so few and far between that it's hard not to get carried away. Sorry again. Maybe I'm too comfortable with you? Just tell me to stop if it bothers you. > BTW, when I sent you my mailing address I forgot to ask for yours. What is it, anyway? (Don't ask why I want it. It's a surprise.) > You're really addictive, do you know that? Healthy addiction??? Maybe not. I wanted to tell you about the very interesting, yet strange day I had today, but I'll wait to see if I scared you away or not. Feeling bad, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 8 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 05:50 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: Morning check-in -Reply -Reply >> Well, gee, you might find something you like even more over here. I was sort of thinking that was what your mom must have been thinking. You just asked why you had to keep looking once you found your couch. [tactical mall map] Of course, I try to avoid the mall as much as I can. Unfortunately, there are some things you just can't get without going to the mall. I can't think specifically what, but there must be some, because I've actually been to the mall. I wouldn't have gone there otherwise. [dogs & furniture] Ah, yes. Never try to tell a dog that he's not a person. I should know that by now. Cats don't think they're people. Why would they want to lower their standards? >> Geez, that sounds bad: "tell me more about your bedroom." Just say, "buzz off, pal." > Well, if you're really interested… Only if you really want to share... [80 lbs Cindy will leave bruises] Cute dogs. [Teaching mom about Dakota trucks…] Next thing you know she'll drive up in a new Dakota. Worse yet, she and the saleswoman at the dealership will gang up on you. [Rush is on the radio!] Cool. Do they get a lot of air play up there? They get almost none down here. Also, it's always the same three or four songs. Fortunately, I have all of their CDs. [cards] You'll have to teach me. [calling you ma'am] I at least hope it was just because he says that a hundred times a day. Did he apologize or just give you the "get a life" look? >> I guess I should stop worrying about age differences, shouldn't I? When it comes right down to it, what difference does it really make? > I don't think much! I think you're right. My brother is 20, and he was flirting with a 29-year-old fellow student in one of his classes. He was pretty bothered by the age difference. I say as long as you've got something in common and like each other, what the hell? >[my mom] > She's more than welcome to come up too, but I'd rather you come up by yourself. Selfish, aren't I? I know the feeling. No, I think I'll be traveling alone, thank you very much. [U of T programs] Already been there. That's what I was looking at when I told you I had looked them up. I got the address out of a book of colleges at Barnes & Noble, but that didn't list anything other than the fact that they offered some degree in astronomy. >[Nolan Bushnell… one of the most interesting] Wrong! You are. <Grin> Thank you very much. >> You make it sound like we're having some torrid affair. > Sorry! I told you that sometimes I get a little flirtatious. Maybe too much this time??? Not at all. The only problem is that I can't always tell. > … left over crap in my head about how innocent my ex always made his relationships with other women seem. I guess I forgot about that. Of course, I know all about our relationship, but this hypothetical new woman wouldn't. What is she supposed to think if I spend so many hours writing to you? It's a pretty huge leap to believe someone you barely know when he says to you, "it's totally innocent... really." And if I wait until I know her a little better, then it becomes a question of why did I hide you from her for so long? Anyway, this is all totally academic. I'll worry more about it if the situation ever merits. > Sorry again. Maybe I'm too comfortable with you? Just tell me to stop if it bothers you. Norah, I should be the one apologizing. One of the problems with e-mail is that without hearing your voice or seeing your body language, I can't always tell if you're serious or if you're just kidding around. I really should know better by now. I just read some things into your message that you didn't really mean. I'll try to curb my imagination from now on. Of course, I do have to admit, the thought has crossed my mind a couple of times. Too bad we live so far apart. (I guess it's my turn to tell you that if this bothers you, just tell me to buzz off.) > Healthy addiction??? Maybe not. Depends on who you ask. I think so. My boss probably doesn't. > … I'll wait to see if I scared you away or not. Feeling bad Now I'm really sorry. I didn't want you to feel bad. Consider yourself hugged again. I'm pretty bulletproof, so you don't really need to worry about hurting my feelings or scaring me away as much as you do. It's really sweet of you, though. So of course, I want to hear all about your very interesting, yet strange day. Patiently waiting, Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 9 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 09:14 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Feeling Better! [mom and saleswoman gang up on you] Nope, my mom doesn't know how to drive. But they probably would gang up on me. [Rush and Canadian radio air play…] Quite a bit. The CRTC[66] (Canadian Radio, Television & Telecommunications Commission - that's a mouthful) is the governing body for the federal government which dictates a certain percentage of Canadian content on the radio. The stations used to play a lot of crap just to fulfill the obligation. Luckily now, there are quite a few good Canadian bands, and we don't have to suffer anymore. BTW, what are your opinions on Colin James[67], Tom Cochrane[68] and Moist??? > Anyway, this is all totally academic. I'll worry more about it if the situation ever merits. But if you do meet someone, let me know and I'll back off - promise?? > I'll try to curb my imagination from now on. You are a true sweetheart! Don't ever change for anyone!! > Of course, I do have to admit, the thought has crossed my mind a couple of times. Too bad we live so far apart. (I guess it's my turn to tell you that if this bothers you, just tell me to buzz off.) Believe it or not, it doesn't bother me at all. I love the attention. Every woman does. How do you know that I didn't really mean some of them? Honesty time: the thought has crossed my mind more than once. After everything I've told you - I consider you more than just a friend as I haven't told my friends half of all my shit - just you. I tend to try to deal with things by myself instead of burdening other people. I know that it's not very healthy. Inside I always thought that if I said anything to anyone, they'd think I was incredibly stupid, so I keep things to myself. It was easy telling a therapist - they're paid to listen, and mothers - they'll love you no matter what. So, telling you was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But it felt great to have a friendly ear. > Consider yourself hugged again. Another virtual hug! Thanks. I feel better. Consider yourself kissed. > I'm pretty bulletproof, so you don't really need to worry about hurting my feelings or scaring me away as much as you do. It's really sweet of you, though. Thanks. I'll always worry about hurting your feelings. The mere thought of messing with anyone's head upsets me very much. I was ready to back away completely rather than screw you up. > So of course, I want to hear all about your very interesting, yet strange day. I'll send you this now to give you something to read and think about while I try to explain today's events. Very bizarre but good day. Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 10 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 09:53 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Strange Day Hello again! Our entire department moved to new offices down the hall. We kicked the salespeople out to another building across the street and took over the floor. All my stuff was moved to my new home, and I got my new PC. Surprise, surprise. The only thing on my hard drive was COMMAND.COM. No point in rebooting this puppy. I call Dave, my manager over and show him. He laughs and takes me back to the computer room and finds another that he had stashed away. Now I have two towers under my desk. I wonder how long before anyone notices. I plug everything in and power up. Works great but only one problem - no mouse. Okay, let’s go scrounging around for a spare. Dave finds me a good one and wants to trade his for mine. Dream on! Ok, now we're ready - wrong. Windows was there, but parts of Word, Excel, CC: Mail, etc. are missing. Couldn't open anything. Dave comes back and asks if I need this unopened box of Microsoft office. Psychic or what? Spent the rest of the morning reloading everything. No point in calling the LAN guys - it'll take a week. Ok great - now I'm ready. Wrong! I had absolutely no AS/400 sessions. I need seven. Spent a few more hours trying to figure out how to create these sessions and get them to work. Ok, now I'm finally ready. This temporary tower has twice the space on the hard drive. I think I'll keep it. There was all this extra software on there that we don't use anymore, and I want to clean up and get some extra space. Managed to delete all by resorting to DOS. Can't get rid of the icons though. Someone in their infinite wisdom set it up so I can't get these off the system. Can you help me?? Unfortunately, it's Windows 3.1. Anyway, I'm sitting 3 cubicles down from Dave and all I hear are the Dakota .wav files all afternoon. He's having a great time with these. Little hard to concentrate when all you hear is the Truck starting up or grinding gears! All is quiet for 30 minutes and then Dave appears at my desk saying: "Norah, I'm extremely pissed at you. You make me sick!" I sat there stunned. What the hell did I do? "You are the only one in Operations that has Windows '95 at home and a good modem. I have no choice but to give this project to you." Now this part you have to keep very quiet. It's a new project that the company is getting into, and I'm not supposed to mention it. We're getting into the Internet business, and they want me to alpha test it. They're going to give me unlimited access at home and want me to play and test to my heart’s desire as much as I can. I guess I'll be working at home for a little while. Do they realize what they've done?? Dave is so pissed that all he has is his laptop at home - he keeps playing the Dakota .wav files to irritate me. I finally walk over and tell him: Having fun playing? At least I own one. All was quiet after that. He's still upset that his wife changed her mind and doesn't think a truck would be good with 2 kids and a dog. Now he wants to get the truck for himself and something else for her. All my other projects seem so petty now. Dave is regretting ever signing approval for my computer purchase. More oddities: my phone never rang all day, no programmers came to nag me with requests (oops sorry), Month end is on schedule, weekend implementations went without any snags, communications are problem-free, no operators bugging me with questions, and I conveniently forgot my pager at home today. What a weird Monday. See ya, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 11 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 08:42 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: Feeling Better! Hey Norah. Glad you're feeling better. > Nope, my mom doesn't know how to drive. But they probably would gang up on me. Duh, I guess that explains why you get to drive her everywhere. [Canadian bands] I must say I haven't heard of any of them. But then I listen to the "alternative" stations most of the time. I've just about had all of the Alanis Morissette[69] I can handle for one lifetime. > But if you do meet someone, let me know and I'll back off - promise?? If I do meet someone, you'll probably be the first to know, but only if you promise not to back off. I'll probably need a woman to interpret many of the things she says to me. That translation guide my brother forwarded to me only covers so many things. > You are a true sweetheart! Don't ever change for anyone!! Thank you. You are too. You know, you're the only woman I've ever talked to who didn't live her life by the following rules: Rule #1. The female is always right. Rule #2. When the female is wrong, see rule #1. It's refreshing to talk to someone who doesn't expect me to be Mr. Perfect all the time, then bitch at me when I'm not. >> Of course, I do have to admit, the thought has crossed my mind a couple of times. Too bad we live so far apart. (I guess it's my turn to tell you that if this bothers you, just tell me to buzz off.) > Believe it or not, it doesn't bother me at all. I love the attention. Every woman does. How do you know that I didn't really mean some of them? Well, there was the hope :-). Every woman doesn't love the attention. The glut of sexual harassment suits tells me that. When I started working at this company, the director, or corporate resources (a woman) gave me about a five-minute talk about how harassment would not be tolerated, and examples of what constituted it. I realize that this is a serious problem, but she basically told me that I shouldn't have one single gender-driven thought while at work. None of the married guys got this talk. I felt like telling her that I was the very least of her worries, but I decided it wouldn't have done any good. One good honesty deserves another. I don't think I've ever felt closer to anyone, certainly not female, than I do to you. My mom is very supportive and caring, but I can't talk about doing "adult" things (e.g., drinking) with her. My parents tend to treat me like I'm still twelve, especially my dad. Probably the only person I've shared this much with was my best friend in high school, Tom. I trusted him implicitly, and he helped me through a lot of shit. You've helped me get over a lot of my anxieties and self-doubts. Thanks. For everything. > Another virtual hug! Thanks. I feel better. Consider yourself kissed. Really? Where? (All right, I should be smacked. I was the one who over-reacted to some harmless flirting, and here I am doing the same thing. Sheesh.) > Thanks. I'll always worry about hurting your feelings. The mere thought of messing with anyone's head upsets me very much. I was ready to back away completely rather than screw you up. I didn't mean what I think you think, I meant (did that make any more sense to you than it did to me?) When I said, "mess with my head" I meant "torture me with sweet frustration." More flirting, I guess. For someone who does this as much as I do, I ought to be able to recognize it a little more readily. Anyway, I would love to continue this all night, but I really have to clean that damn bathroom. I didn't get to it yesterday like I thought I was going to, and it's getting pretty bad. Write me back when you get a chance. I promise not to over-react to your flirtatious side again. Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 12 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 12:08 AM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Re: Feeling Better! Hey Jason, [Canadian bands] Well, well, well. I'm going to have to send you some. Colin James is a great blues singer and guitarist from Vancouver. Tom Cochrane was with a band called Red Ryder and now he's on his own. He's from Toronto and is quite good. Moist is a semi-alternative band from somewhere in the Canadian west. I like them quite a bit. Alanis I can do without, thank-you very much. She irritated me from the beginning. Which reminds me, I'm going to have to put a new stereo on my shopping list soon. My CD player needs manual assistance to close the door properly and the rest is just bits and pieces of crap. Sounds ok, but I want... I better cool it for a while and get my priorities straight - I really want to get my truck windows tinted darker. All I have is the factory tint and it's just not good enough!! [need a woman to interpret many of the things she says to me] Ok. I'll be feminine interpreter. > Rule #1. The female is always right. > Rule #2. When the female is wrong, see rule #1. Well... The only time I emphasize that I am right is when I've got the proof to back me up. When I'm wrong, I'm the first to admit it. Isn't that normal?? Mind you, I do like getting the last word in an argument. I have made a conscious effort to change that. [Mr. Perfect] What exactly is Mr. Perfect??? It's that word again that I don't agree with. There is no such thing as perfection. Even though I'm a bit of a perfectionist in some things, I believe as long as we're still human - we're all flawed. Your personality is as close to perfect as I've found. >> How do you know that I didn't really mean some of them? > Well, there was the hope :-). There is! [sexual harassment] You're right. I forgot about the sexual harassment part. I guess it depends on who’s giving the attention and whose receiving. > One good honesty deserves another. I don't think I've ever felt closer to anyone, certainly not female, than I do to you. Wow!!! Thanks. That doesn't feel good, it feels great! > My mom is very supportive and caring, but I can't talk about doing adult" things (e.g., drinking) with her. As long as she's supportive and caring, that's all that REALLY counts. My relationship with my mom is a bit different, but we've been through so much together, it's hard to explain. I'll tell you some stories later. All my mom has now is me and all I have is her (except now you). I've put her through some pretty bad stuff when I was in high school, but we came through it. There isn't anything I can't talk to her about. She may not always agree, but she'll always stand by me. She's the gentlest, kindest person I know. She couldn't yell or scream if her life depended on it. I don't think she has the vocal cords to do it. I constantly beg her to take care of herself, because if anything ever happened to her, I'd be completely alone. It makes her feel guilty enough to keep on a healthy life-style. Sometimes talking with her can be challenging though. She’s a little self-centered (read that as a lot self-centered) and prefers to talk about herself than listen. [parents] My mom too. You'll always be their baby no matter how old you get. [my friend Tom.] Everyone needs friends like that. Consider yourself lucky he was there through the high school crap. [you’ve helped me get over a lot of my anxieties and self-doubts. Thanks] You're more than welcome. But when I say things to you, it helps me too! So, it's a bit self-serving. >> Consider yourself kissed. > Really? Where? (All right, I should be smacked. I was the one who over-reacted to some harmless flirting, and here I am doing the same thing. Sheesh.) Uh huh! Watch it or you'll be taking more than one cold shower!! [I meant "torture me with sweet frustration."] Sweet Frustration! I like it. I've never heard it described that way. I'm gonna remember that one. [clean that damn bathroom] Men and bathrooms! Another one of those guy things?? I don't blame you; I hate doing it too. I don't think I know anyone who does. [I promise not to over-react to your flirtatious side again] Don't over-react, just enjoy. I also promise not to over-react as well. I'm going to bed now, so I'll talk to you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, I know I will. Norah P.S. There's a line from Dante[70] on the McLaughlin[71] Planetarium wall that I fell in love with and memorized a few years ago. I'm sure you know it, but I wanted to share it: THE HEAVENS ARE CALLING YOU AND WHEEL AROUND YOU DISPLAYING TO YOU THEIR ETERNAL BEAUTIES AND STILL YOUR EYE IS LOOKING ON THE GROUND. Isn't that great and so true?? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 13 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 10:50 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: Feeling Better! Hiya. [going to have to send you some CDs]. Sounds good to me. I'll keep an eye out for them around here. I haven't been able to find any CDs I want (my mom's been asking me what I want for Christmas). [Alanis… irritated me from the beginning] I admit, I bought her album back when the "I hate men" song (more specifically, "You Oughta Know") was the only one they had released. I liked that song, and I liked the rest of the album until I heard it twenty thousand times on the radio. There's no reason to own that CD now. If you want to hear it, just turn on the radio. [put a new stereo on my shopping list soon] I put one on my Christmas list, but just a little boombox to listen to at work. All I've got is my old stereo that I got in about 1985. It's falling apart. [save to get my truck windows tinted darker] Is that legal up there? My back window is tinted, but I can see just a little corner of tint on one of the sides. I think the previous owner had the sides tinted and the cops made him pull it off. [I'll be feminine interpreter] Whew, that's a relief. [admitting when wrong] That's what I'm talking about. You don't try to use "female intuition" as a justification that you're always right, no matter what the facts might say. Trying to argue logically with a woman who has invoked female intuition only serves to make her even angrier. [Mr. Perfect] Thank you, although I don't believe it. Mr. Perfect always reads his woman's mind and knows exactly what she wants to hear and when, exactly what gift he should give her and when, and exactly how much space to give her and when. How many times have I heard women telling their boyfriends or husbands, "if you really loved me, you would just know what I wanted? If you have to ask, I'm not going to tell you." The guy usually has a look on his face like "If I could read your mind, I would be on TV making millions." >> Well, there was the hope :-). > There is! You know, even after what happened today, I'm still not quite sure what to make of that statement. I think I'll take it in my stride and threaten to call the airlines tomorrow to book a flight to Toronto. [sexual harassment] I've heard it said (by women) that the only difference between making a pass and harassment is whether she is attracted to the guy doing it. The lesson: I shouldn't make passes at women I work with because I can't tell what she's thinking. You know, it seems that I've overheard a lot of awful things being said by women. I hope I'm not just remembering things I've seen on TV. I would hate to think that I allowed myself to become so jaundiced on the basis of fiction. [Sweet Frustration] I can't remember where I first heard that. I was worried it might be a little over the edge, but I hoped you would appreciate it. [bathrooms] Actually, I would rather clean it than put up with it being dirty. Nick was a really good influence in that respect. His dad is a doctor, and his mom is a clean freak, so his place is naturally spotless. My goal is to have my place meet Nick standards. I only get time to clean it once a week, though. Vacuuming is my weak spot, that sometimes goes a month. > Don't over-react, just enjoy. I also promise not to over-react as well. Ok, as long as we're agreed not to get *too* blatantly suggestive. I think you could short-circuit my brain fairly easily if you wanted to. (Something tells me I shouldn't have said that.) > I'm going to bed now, so I'll talk to you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, I know I will. Thanks. Talk to you tomorrow. Tell me how you know you're going to have good dreams. I only remember about one dream a month, on average. It's really strange, because I can be not quite fully asleep and really enjoying whatever I'm dreaming about. As soon as I wake up, I can remember dreaming, and I know that it was good, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was. Knowing me, I'm probably dreaming that I'm the captain of a starship. > THE HEAVENS ARE CALLING YOU AND WHEEL AROUND YOU DISPLAYING TO YOU THEIR ETERNAL BEAUTIES AND STILL YOUR EYE IS LOOKING ON THE GROUND. I've never heard that before. It is great. Thanks. Until tomorrow Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 14 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Mon, Dec 02, 1996, 10:54 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: Strange Day I forgot to thank you for the computer story. I enjoyed it immensely. It seems like computer upgrades always take at least ten times longer than you think they should. My computer was in pieces for about two months over the summer over what should have been a one- or two-day project. Exactly what icons are you trying to remove? It's been a while since I used Win 3.1 (thankfully), but I thought you could just highlight one and hit delete. Anyway, I'd better get off to bed. Talk to you tomorrow. Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 15 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 04:17 AM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Re: Strange Day Hi! > I forgot to thank you for the computer story. I enjoyed it immensely. Exactly what icons are you trying to remove? It's been a while since I used Win 3.1 (thankfully), but I thought you could just highlight one and hit delete. This is what I always thought. But for some reason, on this PC, when you click File - the delete is grey. I can't even move anything from one icon to another. I'm just going to have to deal with these LAN guys. This, I always try to avoid. Since my last argument with them, they avoid me like the plague! They say I want too much. No, I don't! My motto is: "If you take it away to fix it, then put it back the way it was! If you can't remember how it was plugged in, write it down! I don't want more, just give me back what I had in the first place." This really pisses them off because they can't argue back! So, now they labeled me "Demanding"!! So today, I'm going to harass them. If that doesn't work - I'll resort to whining, begging & pleading. I don't want to - BUT I WANT MY PC TO DO WHAT I WANT AND HOW I WANT IT!!! I guess I am demanding at work. I'm still having trouble believing they’re going to pay me to stay home and play on the Internet. I just better spend my time doing that and not all my time writing you. Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 16 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 04:17 AM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Re: Feeling Better! Good morning!! Short in the sleep department again. I can't figure this out. By the weekend I'm going to need 12 hours solid sleep. That would really piss me off! [truck window tinting] I can't remember what the legal limits are, but Mick promised to take it to his shop in the spring and we'll work it out. He'll only charge me for materials. Another nice guy, but he's the one where you have to watch every word or combinations of words that come out of your mouth. He's very, very quick to twist it around. If he's this way with me - I feel sorry for his girlfriend. It's too much hard work to watch every word. [female intuition] How can anyone use intuition as justification? Wouldn't hold up in court! [Mr. Perfect always reads his woman's mind] REALITY CHECK! Then these women are reading too may romance novels!! In the real world: You'll know what I want because I'll tell you. You'll know if I need space because I'll say so. It's called communication. You never get what you want if you don't open your mouth. It's not that hard if you practice. These women need to learn that! > You know, even after what happened today, I'm still not quite sure what to make of that statement. I think I'll take it in my stride and threaten to call the airlines tomorrow to book a flight to Toronto. I'll make it easy for you: I meant it. (Ooops, a little too direct) [overheard a lot of awful things being said by women] I've heard a lot from both sides. But I find that a lot of it comes from insecurity and feeling inferior. When people are uncomfortable they criticize or make jokes about it. It's easier for them to deal with it that way. I think everyone should go to therapy at least once in their lives. You learn so much. Most of the things you say I helped you with - I learned there. Maybe I learned because I actually listened. [cleaning the bathroom] Once a week is plenty, that's all I ever do. Vacuuming doesn't bother me at all. The bathroom is my weak spot. It's because I have long hair and every time I have to pull the hair out the drain - I feel queasy, but I just take a deep breath and do it. > I think you could short-circuit my brain fairly easily if you wanted to. (Something tells me I shouldn't have said that.) hmmmm? Don't worry, I won't! > Tell me how you know you're going to have good dreams. I used to have really bad dreams frequently, so I started reading up on dream analysis. There is a way to remember, but it takes practice. When you first wake up, don't move your head. Lie still and if you still can't remember, try repositioning your head slowly. Sometimes if your head gets back into the position it was in while you were dreaming, it can trigger you to remember. Once you roll over or get up, it's gone for good. I have this one book that equates every single thing you could possibly dream about with sex. It's a serious book, but it makes me laugh. This writer has his own set of problems! Which reminds me, do you read any sci-fi?? If so, who's your favorite author? Mine is Robert A. Heinlein[72]. When he passed away, I cried. I always wanted the opportunity to meet and talk with him. To me, he was the very best. His book "Stranger in a Strange Land" was what really hooked me on Sci-Fi. It's funny how I don't take the time to read much anymore. I used to be obsessed with reading. Well, I'm going to try to nap for another hour. Yah right!. Talk to your later, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 17 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 07:09 AM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: Feeling Better! Good morning to you. I finally actually got one of these in the morning. Instead of jumping on my exercise bike or going back to sleep, I decided to see if I had any new mail from you. Pretty safe bet, it seems. [going to need 12 hours solid sleep] Sort of like me on Sunday. It's not productive, but boy, does it feel good. Until you go to get up and discover that you have no energy. I don't know about you but sleeping that long is worse for me than not enough sleep. [Mick] Maybe the reason he does this to you is because his girlfriend won't let him get away with it, and he needs some sort of outlet. I've known people like that. I'm a particularly easy target because my mouth tends to move much faster than my brain. Rather than watch myself, I usually end up trying to come up with things that they don't even really need to twist around. If you can't beat them, join them. > How can anyone use intuition as justification? Wouldn't hold up in court! Exactly. > REALITY CHECK! Then these women are reading too may romance novels!! Ah, so that's where it comes from. I thought Cosmopolitan[73] magazine was to blame. > I'll make it easy for you: I meant it. (Ooops, a little too direct) I don't mind, but I would think that you would be a little concerned about raising my expectations too high. Especially if I'm planning on coming up there to visit you. > I think everyone should go to therapy at least once in their lives. Sounds like you managed to find a good therapist. Around here, I think you're just as likely to find someone who's going to tell you “Here’s your Prozac. Next!" >[cleaning the bathroom] > It's because I have long hair and every time I have to pull the hair out the drain - I feel queasy. Eeewwwww. My hair falls out a lot, but it's short enough that it doesn't build up in the drain. Most of it washes right down. At least, it has been. > I have this one book that equates every single thing you could possibly dream about with sex. It wasn't written by Sigmund Freud[74], was it? So, what does it say about dreaming you're a starship captain? Do I even want to know? > Which reminds me, do you read any sci-fi?? If so, who's your favorite author? Mine is Robert A. Heinlein. How does a sex-obsessed dream book remind you of Heinlein? Oh, wait, I think I get it. I only discovered Heinlein less than a year ago. My brother bought a book which was the "Notebooks of Lazarus Long" intermissions in "Time Enough for Love" extracted and made into their own book. I decided that this Lazarus was my kind of guy, so I read "Methuselah’s Children". Then I found a collection called "The Past Through Tomorrow", which I should have read first, because it leads up to "Methuselah’s Children". Then I read "Time Enough for Love". I'm not quite sure what I think of that last one. I could have done without some of the stuff in the last quarter. I barely started "Stranger in a Strange Land", but it seems that I never get around to reading lately. I was pretty obsessed with reading in junior high. I read almost 50 Star Trek novels as fast as I could. Most Trek novels aren't what I would call great science fiction, but they were entertaining at the time. I stopped reading in college because I didn't have the time. That got me out of the habit, and I keep trying to remember to get back into it. Often, it just doesn't occur to me that I should be reading instead of watching TV. [I.T. guys … labeled me "Demanding"] Why, just because you want them to actually do their jobs? Too bad, I say. The only thing I can think of is to check the file attributes of the *.grp files in the windows directory. If they're read-only, Windows might be smart enough to notice and act accordingly. I've never known Win 3.1 to be smart, though. You might have some special security edition which prevents you from messing around with the setup or something. [I am demanding at work] Sounds to me like you're not being unreasonable. [pay me to stay home and play on the Internet] So, writing me doesn't technically count as playing on the Internet? Too bad. [try to nap for another hour] Good luck. I don't even want to think about it, or I'll be in there asleep. Well, I had better jump in the shower or I'm going to be dragging into work even later than normal. Talk to you later Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 18 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 06:28 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Totally bizarre day! Hello from a very tired Norah. My brain is completely fried!! Today has been the opposite of yesterday. There’s a new guy in technical services that decided he was going to IPL (Initial Program Load or reboot) two of our systems from his PC. Big surprise when the systems went down without any prior notification during peak business hours! This guy performed a "CLM" (Career Limiting Maneuver). One of the systems was our Commercial Billing System while running month end customer billing. Big ouch! And the other was the one that rates all the Commercial and Residential calls. Bigger ouch! We had to get together a group of 10 programmers and divide up our problems to get this resolved. We had to work in three teams and it's going to take 2 days of restores to recover. I'm glad it wasn't me that was responsible for that one. I've done some good ones, but not like this. I finally figured out what my problem with Windows was. It was PROGMAN.INI. Someone had set it so that it won't allow you to delete, copy or move anything in Windows I fixed it!!! NOW IF I COULD JUST GET A NETWORK PRINTER SOMEWHERE IN THE BUILDING TO COOPERATE! BTW, Dave came by my desk and saw my Dakota picture on the wall. All he said was: "It really is full of surprises, isn’t it?" I was laughing so hard, I had to go out in the hallway to compose myself. > I don't mind, but I would think that you would be a little concerned about raising my expectations too high. Especially if I'm planning on coming up there to visit you. High expectations are good, and I'm not concerned. Well, it depends on what your expectations are. If you're expecting some slinky, sexy bombshell of a model - dream on and stay home! If you’re expecting an average person - that's different. Let's face it, your personality and mind have gotten under my skin. I had a lunch date with someone at work today, and I almost fell asleep. All I could think was: "Jason's conversations are never this boring! Jason would never say something this stupid." After talking with you so much, I'm stuck comparing everyone that shows any interest in me, to you. See what you've done! [written by Sigmund Freud] No. In the Acknowledgements he does mention that it is particularly indebted to the works of Sigmund Freud and a host of others. [dreaming you're a starship captain] This is funny. He doesn't mention starship or captains, but here's what he says about Airplanes and Ships: Airplane: A swift, and easy, journey toward the goal, without much concern for details on the way. Flying: the longing to "lift off," get out of a rut, often to flee into the realm of the imagination. Erection and sexual fantasies. Ship: A "vessel," a hollow receptacle, therefore a woman, or the feminine nature. Masculinity, a man, because it is phallus-shaped and cleaves the water. A hollow receptacle, therefore, a woman??? Where does he get off??? This guy needs help!! > How does a sex-obsessed dream book remind you of Heinlein? Oh, wait, I think I get it. Because I was talking books?? [Heinlein books] You're killing me. I own every one of this man's books, including the biography edited by his wife called “Grumbles From The Grave”. I haven't even read half of them, but I had to own them. Too bad they are only paperbacks, but the hard covers would have cost a small fortune. Is there anything else that we have in common?? This is eerie! [writing me doesn't technically count as playing on the Internet] No, it doesn't. It technically counts as playing with Jason! Are you still at work? I'm through for today, and so glad to be home. Even though my brain is having trouble, I seem to have a lot of energy. Write back soon, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 19 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 05:32 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Totally bizarre day! -Reply [very tired Norah] Hi. I missed hearing from you today. I guess you've been too busy. That's all right. [Norah’s completely fried brain] That's pretty much my normal state of being. Have some rum. [the opposite of yesterday] Oh, ouch, ouch, ouch. Poor Norah. Sounds like hell. There's a fine line between doing things which are stupid and what I call "aggressively stupid". I don't understand the details of this maneuver, but it sounds like it probably qualified as aggressively stupid. > I've done some good ones, but not like this. I should hope not. > I finally figured out what my problem with Windows was... Good for you. I didn't even know it was possible to do something like that. How do you do it? That sounds like a good thing to do to someone else's computer. > NOW IF I COULD JUST GET A NETWORK PRINTER SOMEWHERE IN THE BUILDING TO COOPERATE! I'm sure yelling at it will make it work better. If that doesn't work, swear at it a lot. Believe it or not, when I was working with prototyping hardware in college, we discovered that computers and electronics work much better if you swear at them. Loudly. (Did I already tell you this? If I did, I apologize.) > Dave came by my desk and saw my Dakota picture on the wall. All he said was: "It really is full of surprises, isn't it?" Does he know about us? (I wish I could convey the strange feeling I just got after typing that. I've not thought about me and you as an "us" before.) > If you're expecting some slinky, sexy bombshell of a model - dream on and stay home! What *I've* done? I think we're both to blame. And I'm going to feel really guilty if you miss out on finding someone in Toronto just because you can't find anyone who compares to what you think of me. I do think you're overrating me. I appreciate it, but I hope I can continue to live up to your image of me. And, no, I'm not expecting some slinky bombshell of a model. I don't like those -- they look like they're made out of plastic. I do have to admit that I'm really curious to see what you look like, though. I think about you quite a bit, and it's hard for me to visualize you. If you have a picture of yourself that you could scan in and send to me, I would like to finally see you. In the interest of fairness, I managed to find a digitized picture of myself that they took here at work to put on the system. It was taken almost exactly a year ago, when I was about 15 kilos heavier and had my really stupid-looking beard. (Needless to say, I don't like this picture.) If you would like to see it anyway, I can send it on over. I'll have to go home first since I don't know how to do that with our work system. I'll have to see if I can find a recent picture of myself that I don't hate and commandeer my dad's scanner. The only picture I can think of that I like was taken for the yearbook in my senior year of high school. It's a little out of date. > No. In the Acknowledgements he does mention that it is particularly indebted to the works of Sigmund Freud and a host of others. No surprise there. Anyone who relates everything back to sex usually claims to have been influenced by Freud. I think Freud needed to get out more. > Airplane: A swift, and easy, journey toward the goal, without much concern for details on the way. Flying: the longing to "lift off," get out of a rut, often to flee into the realm of the imagination. Erection and sexual fantasies. Well, that has many words but says nothing. > Ship: A "vessel," a hollow receptacle, therefore a woman, or the feminine nature. Masculinity, a man, because it is phallus-shaped and cleaves the water. So, it is both the feminine nature and masculinity? Does this guy list LSD in the acknowledgements section? > A hollow receptacle, therefore, a woman??? Where does he get off??? This guy needs help!! I'm guessing he specifically meant a "non-pregnant woman". When was this written, anyway? >> How does a sex-obsessed dream book remind you of Heinlein? Oh, wait, I think I get it. > Because I was talking books?? Actually, I was thinking of "Time Enough for Love". As the title suggests, that's the main theme of the book. >[Heinlein] > You're killing me. I own every one of this man's books, including the biography edited by his wife called “Grumbles From The Grave”. I haven't even read half of them, but I had to own them. Too bad they are only paperbacks, but the hard covers would have cost a small fortune. Is there anything else that we have in common?? This is eerie! I don't know, but it's sure going to be fun finding out! What shall we try next? Movies? Well, non-Trek movies, anyway. Speaking of which, when are you going to go see the new Star Trek movie? > No, it doesn't. It technically counts as playing with Jason! Yeah, but over the Internet. I think I would be arguing that the mail handling needs some extensive testing. It needs to have some really long messages sent out to somebody in, oh, say, Utah or something. Oh, hey, Alanis is on the radio. Imagine my surprise. > Are you still at work? Yeah, I'm still here. I'm trying to decide if I'm actually going to get anything done tonight if I come back in after dinner. Something tells me I'll just be wasting my time. The company pays for my dinner if I do that, so I might as well, if I can actually do some work. Send me a quick note when you get this and let me know if you want me to try sending that silly picture on over. You can view jpeg format, right? Until later, Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 20 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 08:32 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: quick note Hi, > You can view jpeg format, right? I'd love to see it but it's not really important if you don't want to. And yes jpeg format is fine. I'll reply soon, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 21 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 07:04 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: quick note > I'd love to see it but it's not really important if you don't want to. And yes jpeg format is fine. Here you go. Let me know if it doesn't work. I'm trying to guilt you into sending me a picture :-). I hope you're not worried that I'm not going to want to talk to you anymore if I should happen to find out that your appearance is somehow less than perfect. That's not why I'm asking. I would just like to be able to picture you in my head when we're talking. I can hear you laughing, but I can't see you. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 22 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 09:08 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Re: Totally bizarre day! –Reply Hi there! > Hi. I missed hearing from you today. I guess you've been too busy. That's all right. You're sweet. I can't write you from work. Well, not yet anyway. I'm trying to get access though. > That's pretty much my normal state of being. Have some rum. Maybe I will. > Oh, ouch, ouch, ouch. Poor Norah. Sounds like hell. It was. Usually, operations get blamed for every single thing that could possibly go wrong. I've overheard many conversations about those stupid operators. They're not stupid just tired and burnt out. I'm glad the smart asses got blamed this time. > Good for you. I didn't even know it was possible to do something like that. How do you do it? I'll let you know tomorrow as I don't have the same file on Windows '95 and I just can't remember now. > Does he know about us? Of course, he doesn't - I don't kiss and tell! That's why I couldn't stop laughing. Everyone was totally clued out. Are we an “us”?? That does feel a bit strange but kind of nice. >What *I've* done? I think we're both to blame. Don't feel guilty. If I can't enjoy talking to someone, what's the point? There is no image! I just know what I hear. > I do have to admit that I'm really curious to see what you look like, though. I don't have anything current other than a totally disgusting driver's license and company security card. Really, really bad. Even my mom didn't recognize me. Everything else is old and doesn't count. I guess I'll have to go get something made. Everyone at work says that my looks have change a lot in the last month. I don't see it, but they do. They say I look a lot better. Yet the only change was my hair. I don't get it; all I did was wear it down instead of tied back. In the computer room I had to keep it out of the way. I've had it caught in the printer more than once and it really does hurt. I think they're confusing looks with attitude. > It was taken almost exactly a year ago, when I was about 15 kilos heavier and had my really stupid-looking beard. (Needless to say, I don't like this picture.) Don't be so self-conscious. I'm the least judgmental person around. > If you would like to see it anyway, I can send it on over. Yes. > The only picture I can think of that I like was taken for the yearbook in my senior year of high school. It's a little out of date. Funny, my high school picture is my favorite too. > … dream analysis book… When was this written, anyway? Believe it or not, 1980! > … more things in common… I don't know, but it's sure going to be fun finding out! What shall we try next? Movies? Well, non-Trek movies, anyway. Whatever you choose. I'm afraid to start. > Speaking of which, when are you going to go see the new Star Trek movie? I don't know! I don't feel like going alone and the only other Trekkie friends I have are married or with someone. My single friends don't really care for it. I guess I may have to wait for the video. > It needs to have some really long messages sent out to somebody in, oh, say, Utah or something. Cute! It may actually work. > I'm trying to decide if I'm actually going to get anything done tonight if I come back in after dinner. Something tells me I'll just be wasting my time. Do you honestly think that I'll let you get any work done?? BTW, the running total of Ontario residents that have lost their license since Friday due to DUI is 303. I can't believe how stupid these people are after everyone had been warned for at least a week. Duh!! I also found out that I'm the lucky one to be on call over Christmas. They decided without my input that the married ones shouldn't have to be on call. Thanks a lot. So, what do they do? Let me have New Year's Eve and Day off. Big deal. I never go anywhere then anyway. I guess I'll have to have my mom come over here, because I don't feel like lugging laptop and my On-Call Bible down there with me as well as I may need talk to Kansas City or Dallas. I wouldn't want to run up her bill for company business. I think I'm going to need to take some time off in January. I really do need a break soon. I'm going to take my dogs out for a walk. They are insistent. Write back soon, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 23 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 09:35 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: your picture Hi Jason, > Here you go. Let me know if it doesn't work. Worked fine!
> I hope you're not worried that I'm not going to want to talk to you anymore if I should happen to find out that your appearance is somehow less than perfect I'm not worried, I know I'm not perfect. But it's the truth. I don't have a current picture. I've trashed all my wedding pictures and those were the most current. I promise I'll go get something done this weekend. But then I have to get it scanned. This could be a problem as the good scanner at work is in Marketing and they're on a different intellectual level than us mere computer people. If I start to whine, they might do it. Otherwise, I have to go to my favorite people - The LAN guys!! There is absolutely nothing wrong with your picture. I just didn't imagine you in a shirt and tie!! I still have blue jeans and t-shirt in my mind. If I'm going to get something current, then so do you! Write soon, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 24 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 08:01 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: your picture Hey there. > I'm not worried, I know I'm not perfect. But it's the truth. I don't have a current picture. Don't feel like you have to go out and get portraits done just on my account. I just thought you might have a Polaroid[75] sitting around or something. Make the LAN guys do it. I had to send e-mail to three people before I found out where this picture was sitting, then I had to walk over to the other building to get it converted off the photo CD. It would have been faster to take a Polaroid and go over to Kinko's[76] to get it scanned. > There is absolutely nothing wrong with your picture. I just didn't imagine you in a shirt and tie!! Like I said, it was for work. I think I've only worn a tie to work on three other occasions in a year and a half. I guess the person most critical of any picture is the person in it. I could point out all of the things that bug me about this one, but I don't want to draw too much attention to them. I have some more current pictures I could scan. I'm wearing sunglasses in most of them, and I thought I should first send you one where you could see my face. If you want a current portrait, let me know and I'll see what I can do about getting one. Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 25 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 10:49 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Re: your picture HI! Are you at work or at home? If you're at work, are you getting anything accomplished?? I've decided to take you up on your advice and I'm having a rum and coke. I have to be able to sleep tonight. I'm completely at a loss trying to figure out how I jumped from sleeping 8 hours, to 6, then 5 and now 3. It's really weird! They say you shouldn’t have any alcohol before going to bed. But I can't seem to unwind. Do you ever get really hyper days and can't slow down?? I don't like it because I'm usually a mellow, relaxed person. I find that I'm even typing faster. I'm sure I've got more typos in these than usual. > Don't feel like you have to go out and get portraits done just on my account Don't worry, I don't feel pressured! I don't have a Polaroid either. Just 2 - 35mm SLR's. So that would take time too. Developing, scanning, etc. I feel bad that you sent me one and I can't. Doesn't seem fair! > Like I said, it was for work. I think I've only worn a tie to work on three other occasions in a year and a half. I hate getting dressed up. It just doesn't feel like me. I'm too down to earth for that, but when the need calls for it - it's alright for a short time. > I guess the person most critical of any picture is the person in it. I can understand. I can't stand my own pictures. They never seem as if it's really me. I guess some people are more photogenic than others. I think I look a lot better in real life. This is really weird. As I'm writing about pics, I have the TV on and I'm listening to @discovery.ca[77] (a great science show on every weeknight) and they're talking about the new digital cameras. No film. Just goes on some sort of disk that you can download to your PC. This caught me totally off guard. > I have some more current pictures I could scan. I'm wearing sunglasses in most of them, and I thought I should first send you one where you could see my face. Sure, I'd love to see them. > If you want a current portrait, let me know and I'll see what I can do about getting one. Don't go to any expense or trouble. It's really not that important. Save your money to come up here and see me. (Oops, getting too direct again!) By the way, I'm on my second drink and I hope I don't start sounding strange! Write back soon. I want to hear from you one more time before I go to bed. Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 26 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tue, Dec 03, 1996, 09:24 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: your picture Hey! > Are you at work or at home? If you're at work, are you getting anything accomplished?? No, I'm at home. I've been doing battle at the mall of all places. > I've decided to take you up on your advice and I'm having a rum and coke. I'm usually a mellow, relaxed person. What I hate is when my body is asleep, but my mind is still racing at full speed. I seem to be able to fix bugs in software in my sleep, though. I don't remember it when I wake up, but when I get to work I find the problem within five minutes. > I feel bad that you sent me one and I can't. Doesn't seem fair! Well, I had advance warning. I knew that I wanted to see what you looked like, but I didn't think it would be fair to ask you for a picture if I didn't have one to send to you. > I hate getting dressed up. Gee, that's exactly how I feel. Imagine that. > I can understand. I can't stand my own pictures. They never seem as if it's really me. [new digital cameras] The ones I've seen just hook through a serial cable. That would be really neat, but for that much money I could buy a fairly nice 35mm camera and use my dad's flatbed scanner, or I could buy a really nice flatbed scanner and keep my 35mm instamatic. >> I have some more current pictures I could scan. > Sure, I'd love to see them. I'll scan them this weekend. > Don't go to any expense or trouble. It's really not that important. Save your money to come up here and see me. (Oops, getting too direct again!) That's exactly what I was thinking. > By the way, I'm on my second drink and I hope I don't start sounding strange! No more than usual (sorry, couldn't resist). No, you sound perfectly lucid to me. Methinks you need more rum. > Write back soon. I want to hear from you one more time before I go to bed. Hope this gets to you in time. It's 11:25 (your time). Talk to you tomorrow Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 27 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 06:05 AM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Morning! Good morning Jason, I didn't wake up until 5 am. I think I'm back on track!!! Well, sort of. 12 - 5 is better than 12-3. I did wake up once at 3, but I told myself - no way - stop - close your eyes! It worked. Yeah!!! > No, I'm at home. I've been doing battle at the mall of all places. NO, NOT THE MALL!!! Well, we all have to do our time there sooner or later. I've been avoiding it for a while, but I know I have to get my mom something for Christmas and won't be able to avoid it for long. I guess I should get it over with ASAP. The closer to Christmas, the worse it's going to be! Have you finished with your "MALL WARS", or do you still have unfinished crap to do there? > What I hate is when my body is asleep, but my mind is still racing at full speed. I seem to be able to fix bugs in software in my sleep, though. Nope, haven't fixed any bugs in software, but I have had some pretty wicked sci-fi dreams in the past. So now, I leave a pad of paper and pen beside my bed and if I can remember it, I'll write it down. One night, I woke up around 2 am and had the best dream. I was so convinced this would have been a best seller. I hurriedly made some notes and went back to sleep. When I got up in the morning and reread it with my coffee - it didn't even seem to be in English. I keep asking myself: "What the hell was I talking about?" Not one sentence made any sense - total gibberish. > Well, I had advance warning. I knew that I wanted to see what you looked like, but I didn't think it would be fair to ask you for a picture if I didn't have one to send to you. Maybe I shouldn't send anything and just keep you guessing! Nah, I wouldn't do that, but you'll still have to be patient. > Gee, that's exactly how I feel. Imagine that. Big surprise there! I don't think anything else we may have in common will surprise me now. > No more than usual (sorry, couldn't resist). No, you sound perfectly lucid to me. Methinks you need more rum. So, I sound strange, do I?... hmmmm. Oh yah! Watch it buster, or my hand will come through the PC again and smack you!!! Typical guy, trying to ply me with alcohol. > Hope this gets to you in time. It's 11:25 (your time). The way I sleep - any time could be "in time". I'm almost finished my coffee and I can hear the shower beckoning me to come for a visit. Yah, yah - in a minute. I guess I should get myself motivated to start getting ready. It's been slushing all night. That weird snow/rain stuff! I can just imagine how the roads are going to be. The general population is just going to have to panic now! I have to go in to work and completely rearrange my schedule for today. Dave is ruining my organization. He sends me an e-mail last week to go to IBM on Wednesday Dec. 10 for a presentation. Huh?? I e-mail him back - Wednesday is the 11. What day is it Tuesday or Wednesday? He e-mails back - sorry, Wednesday. Last night before I go home, he says: "Don't forget, IBM tomorrow!" Huh?? I thought you said the 11th. Well, I meant the 4th. So, today I'm making him wear a tag that says: Today Is Wed. Dec. 4, 1996. I'm going to do this for at least a week. It's great having a manager that I can be myself with. I had a meeting at noon which I really wanted to attend which luckily has been cancelled. He's so lucky!! I'm on the Development and Training Committee and hate missing these meetings. I enjoy deciding where to spend the Ontario governments' money! They've been taking mine for a long time. It's payback time!! I normally would never volunteer for something like this, but after being cut from so many courses due to disasters at work, I thought I could do my part in making sure that everyone gets the chance to benefit from some extra training. Now I tell Dave: "I'm the wrong person to cut training from now on!! Be very, very careful, or I won't get our department the money!!!" Funny how management always buckles where bucks are concerned. I'm trying to make this a long e-mail seeing as I can't write back till I get home from work, but I'm running out of time. The shower is now insisting that I make an appearance. Have a good day! Talk to you later, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 28 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 10:37 AM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Morning! -Reply Good afternoon, Norah. > I didn't wake up until 5 am. I think I'm back on track!!! Good for you. I think my no caffeine experiment may be starting to work. I was actually tired enough at 10 pm last night to go to bed. Of course, I might have just been tired from the mall. > NO, NOT THE MALL!!! The closer to Christmas, the worse it's going to be! Oh, boy, is that ever the truth. > Have you finished with your "MALL WARS", or do you still have unfinished crap to do there? Oh, I'm just getting started. I still have no idea what to get for almost everybody I know. > Nope, haven't fixed any bugs in software, but I have had some pretty wicked sci-fi dreams in the past. That's pretty funny. I sometimes listen to myself talking after I get up and wonder what language it's in. Of course, when I'm like that, it could be perfectly fluent English and I still wouldn't be able to process it. I've never tried the idea of writing my dreams down. > Maybe I shouldn't send anything and just keep you guessing! Nah, I wouldn't do that, but you'll still have to be patient. Well, if I'm coming up there, I'm going to find out sooner or later. > Big surprise there! I don't think anything else we may have in common will surprise me now. That's probably the best attitude to have. Of course, we might be surprised when we find things we don't have in common. > So, I sound strange, do I?... hmmmm. Oh yah! Watch it buster, or my hand will come through the PC again and smack you!!! Typical guy, trying to ply me with alcohol. No, you don't sound strange. Not very much anyway. (Sorry, there I go again.) Something tells me I'd better watch out myself for the alcohol ploy. > I'm almost finished my coffee and I can hear the shower beckoning me to come for a visit. Yah, yah - in a minute. Fascinating. Do other parts of your house talk to you? The only part that's ever talked to me was the toilet, and only after I've been drinking heavily. Of course, my bed doesn't need to talk to me. It just reaches out, grabs me, and drags me back for "just another ten minutes". > I guess I should get myself motivated to start getting ready. It's been slushing all night We haven't had that much weather here in Orem. This morning on the Salt Lake news they were talking about the storm that went through last night. It cooled it off enough that there were large patches of black ice on the freeways. All we got here was a lot of wind. It is pretty cold, though. > It's great having a manager that I can be myself with. Tell me about it. The guy who was managing this group had himself demoted back to programmer, because he was sick of putting up with all of the management duties. They promoted another guy who has only worked here a month longer than I have up to manager. He's a good guy, and he's almost as big a Rush fan as I am. I'm glad he took the job because they might have started looking at me next. I've seen that job and I don't want it. > I'm trying to make this a long e-mail seeing as I can't write back till I get home from work, but I'm running out of time. Well, that's all right. When I got to work I found another message that you sent here last night that didn't show up at home. I guess I'm just going to have to figure out how to get our work system to forward e-mail from the Internet over to my home address. I've clicked on everything and can't find it, so I guess you have to be smarter than the mouse to do it. One of my co-workers says he knows how, so I'll just have to surrender and ask for help. Anyway, I might as well respond to a few things from the other message now. Let's see what we've got here... > You're sweet. I can't write you from work. Well, not yet anyway. I'm trying to get access though. That's all right. You had just mentioned once that you checked e-mail when you came home to let your dogs out at lunch. I think that was the day you had the lunch date, though. > Of course, he doesn't - I don't kiss and tell! That's why I couldn't stop laughing. Everyone was totally clued out. Are we an “us”?? That does feel a bit strange but kind of nice. I don't know. You're the closest thing I have to a girlfriend, but I'm pretty much clueless where those kind of things are concerned. I had just typed that sentence and thought it looked kind of strange. I was trying to figure out if I had misspelled the word "us" when I realized why I thought it was strange. > Don't feel guilty. If I can't enjoy talking to someone, what's the point? There is no image! I just know what I hear. Yeah, but I can't help thinking that if I hadn't come along you wouldn't be comparing other guys to me. Maybe that's a good thing, if I can help save you from settling for someone else who doesn't deserve you. > Everyone at work says that my looks have change a lot in the last month. Possible. Are you sure that your appearance hasn't changed with your attitude change? Even smiling more or wearing better clothes might make people think you looked better. I know that when I'm depressed I don't really care if my appearance goes to hell, and I stop doing anything about it. > Don't be so self-conscious. I'm the least judgmental person around. I'm glad to hear it. I'm probably the most self-judgmental. I'm not very judgmental of others, just me. I don't know why some part of my brain believes that I'm the only one around who has to be perfect, but it does. > … Star Trek movie … I don't know! If we can find it and you still haven't seen it, I might end up taking you myself. > Do you honestly think that I'll let you get any work done?? Nope. That was why I did a little shopping. > Ontario residents that have lost their license since Friday due to DUI is 303. It's like I said, there's stupid and then there's aggressively stupid. Hopefully some of these people will learn their lesson and stop doing that. > … on call over Christmas. Gee, stereotypes at work? I guess they think married family-oriented people want to be together at Christmas and single people want to go out and party and get drunk on New Year's. It would have been nice of them to ask, at least. > I think I'm going to need to take some time off in January. I really do need a break soon. I'll try to figure out what our schedule is here. After each deadline, we usually get a couple of days off to make up for the overtime hours. I have some other vacation time as well. Hopefully we can overlap our vacation time so we can spend time together when I come up. (Notice I said when. I have every intention of visiting you if I can possibly swing it.) Well, I guess I'd better get to work. Until later, Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 29 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 06:23 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Take a break! Hi Jason, > I think my no caffeine experiment may be starting to work. I was actually tired enough at 10 pm last night to go to bed. Of course, I might have just been tired from the mall. It was probably the mall! Whenever I have to do shopping I always come home and feel the need for a nap. Now I plan my strategy and do everything in one day as I know I'll be tired anyway. Might as well get it all over with at once. > I sometimes listen to myself talking after I get up and wonder what language it's in. I've even talked in my sleep! My mom says I can carry on complete conversations if I'm spoken to. As a kid, I used to walk in my sleep. My mom would be watching TV and I'd get up, walk over, and turn off the TV and go back to bed. She'd be sitting there laughing at me. Thank God I don't walk around anymore. That could be trouble! Can you imagine waking up in the street or in your truck? > Of course, we might be surprised when we find things we don't have in common. I think you're right. > No, you don't sound strange. Not very much anyway. (Sorry, there I go again.) Strange is good, isn't it? It's better than some boring people I know. > Something tells me I'd better watch out myself for the alcohol ploy. Yah right! <smirk> > I'm glad he took the job because they might have started looking at me next. I've seen that job and I don't want it. No, I wouldn't want it either! Too much political crap, budgets, hiring/firing - yuk!! I really made my manager happy today. We had to go to this IBM thing, and I asked him if he'd like to go up there in my truck. He starts drooling! As we're leaving, I threw him the keys and let him drive up. He was like a kid in a candy store. He was so happy he bought lunch. Now he's really got the Dakota bug and I don't think it's going to pass. Guess he and his wife are going to be having a serious discussion tonight. > I guess I'm just going to have to figure out how to get our work system to forward e-mail from the Internet over to my company address. I'll just be more careful where I send it! > You had just mentioned once that you checked e-mail when you came home to let your dogs out at lunch. I think that was the day you had the lunch date, though. No, it wasn't. I came home on Monday. Lunch was yesterday. > You're the closest thing I have to a girlfriend, but I'm pretty much clueless where those kind of things are concerned. What a nice thing to say. I don't think you're clueless at all. > I was trying to figure out if I had misspelled the word "us" when I realized why I thought it was strange. Now I feel clueless - why did you think it was strange?? > Maybe that's a good thing, if I can help save you from settling for someone else who doesn't deserve you. So, I wouldn't be comparing them to you, but I would be comparing them to what I've got in my head as the right type of person. I think my therapist already took care of that anyway. I'll never settle for anyone that I can't relate to. That part of me is dead and buried. I'd rather stay alone than settle for someone who isn't good for me. I've learnt my lesson, thank you very much. > Are you sure that your appearance hasn't changed with your attitude change? You're probably right. I never thought of it that way. I have my final appointment with my therapist this Monday. Last time I saw her she said she didn't want to see me again as I've probably got it more together than she does. I told her I just want to make sure that I'm not slipping back because my fears and insecurities come back every once in a while and it can be kind of scary! I don't like getting depressed like that. It's too self-destructive. > I'm glad to hear it. I'm probably the most self-judgmental. You too? I said I wasn't going to be surprised by anything else we have in common, so I'm not. > If we can find it and you still haven't seen it, I might end up taking you myself. You're being sweet again. OH NO! Alanis is on the radio - SAVE ME!! >> I think I'm going to need to take some time off in January. I really do need a break soon. > I'll try to figure out what our schedule is here. I didn't say that to pressure you, believe me. Even though it would be nice if it was sooner, than later. It's just that I was so burnt out yesterday, I felt like I could have taken a week off right then and there. I have a lot of time built up and I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to do with 4 1/2 weeks. I know I'll definitely take time when you come up, but I still will have a lot of time left. Hey, maybe I'll visit you next time. You asked what was in PROGMAN.INI that prevented me from using Move, Copy or Delete? At the bottom was: EditLevel=4. Once I removed that, all was back to normal. After you change it, you need to exit Windows and restart it for the change to become effective. Write back soon, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 30 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 05:30 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Take a break! -Reply Hi Norah, > It was probably the mall! Now I plan my strategy and do everything in one day as I know I'll be tired anyway. Might as well get it all over with at once. Good idea. I keep second-guessing myself and going back to change what I got. Maybe I should just wait for last-minute panic to set in. I work best under pressure anyway. [sleep walking] That's pretty spooky. The only thing worse would be waking up at work in the morning in your pajamas. I'm pretty sure I don't do anything like that. Of course, I used to think I didn't snore, until I actually woke myself up once. I was in a strange position, which explains why I was snoring so loudly, but it was still pretty startling. > Strange is good, isn't it? It's better than some boring people I know. True. I don't think it's a very good synonym for "interesting", though. All kidding aside, I don't think you're at all strange. I do think you're interesting. Not to mention really sweet. >> Something tells me I'd better watch out myself for the alcohol ploy. > Yah right! <smirk> Smirk? If it was "reassuring smile" I wouldn't be worried. "Smirk" makes it sound like you're hatching some devious plan to get me just drunk enough to go along with whatever you want. I'd really better watch out. Of course, it might be more fun to just pretend to be drunk and then go along anyway. > [manager job] > No, I wouldn't want it either! Too much political crap, budgets, hiring/firing - yuk!! Exactly. My new boss has realized just how much fun none of this is as well. > … my manager drove my Dakota. Guess his wife is going to be really pissed at you if she finds out you're responsible for this. I'm glad you're trying to sell more Dakotas. I don't know anybody who could afford one right now, but I'm always on the lookout. >> You're the closest thing I have to a girlfriend, but I'm pretty much clueless where those kind of things are concerned. > What a nice thing to say. I don't think you're clueless at all. I'm glad you think so. But I still don't know if we qualify as an "us" or even what the pre-requisites are. > Now I feel clueless - why did you think it was strange?? We're trapped in a circular conversation. I think when I originally sent it, I said I thought it was strange because I had never thought of us as an "us" before. This isn't really that big of a deal. I just typed "Does he know about us?" and then I thought "us? There's an 'us'?" I guess it depends on how you pronounce that sentence. If you say it "Does he know about... *us*?" it might make more sense what I'm babbling about. Imagine it as a line in a soap opera or something. > So, I wouldn't be comparing them to you, but I would be comparing them to what I've got in my head as the right type of person. That's very good to hear. Sounds like you've got it under control. I'll stop worrying about it and trust that you're a big girl and can make your own decisions. > I have my final appointment with my therapist this Monday. I don't like getting depressed like that. It's too self-destructive. Yeah, but everybody I know gets like that once in a while. You seem extremely well-adjusted to me. I wouldn't worry about it. >> If we can find it and you still haven't seen it, I might end up taking you myself. > You're being sweet again. Can't help it. I can't show this side of my personality to my male friends because they would probably think I was coming on to them and stomp my guts out. I've lost touch with my other close female friends. They all got married. > OH NO! Alanis is on the radio - SAVE ME!! Quick! The antidote! 50 ccs of Pink Floyd, IV push, stat! Sorry. I guess I've seen too many episodes of ER[78]. > I didn't say that to pressure you, believe me. I know I'll definitely take time when you come up, but I still will have a lot of time left. Hey, maybe I'll visit you next time. Sure, come on down. See how the Mormons live. I still want to see what our schedule is though. I'm looking forward to seeing you. Right after we send this out the door would be a perfect time because I'm going to be really burned out by then. Unfortunately, I think it probably won't be until February, though. Well, I guess I had better get back to work. I don't know what I'm going to do if they wise up and cut off my outside e-mail. Let's hope it doesn't happen. Write back as soon as you get a chance. Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 31 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 08:38 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Re: Take a break! –Reply Hi again! I'm so glad to be home now. Some days there doesn't seem to be a better place to be. What time are you working till? Are you doing the MALL WARS after work again? I really have to get out there myself. You know what it makes me feel like. A Lemming! Walking around aimlessly lost and confused and eventually walking off of a cliff and plunging to their death. Can you tell how much I enjoy this event? This weekend, I'm going to make a serious effort the get this done. Oh yeah! I have to somehow do this picture thing too. > Of course, I used to think I didn't snore, until I actually woke myself up once. I was in a strange position, which explains why I was snoring so loudly, but it was still pretty startling. Oh-oh. I don't know if I snore, but one night I woke up suddenly and I couldn't tell if it was me or the dog, as his nose just happened to be an inch away from my ear. > True. I don't think it's a very good synonym for "interesting", though. All kidding aside, I don't think you're at all strange. I do think you're interesting. Not to mention really sweet. WOW! Interesting and sweet. I don't think I can handle much more. Sweetly interesting... interestingly sweet... hmmmm!! How is it you know all the right things to say?? Don't kid yourself. I can be a real bitch if I want to be. I just never want to be unless someone has really pissed me off. > Smirk? If it was "reassuring smile" I wouldn't be worried. "Smirk" makes it sound like you're hatching some devious plan to get me just drunk enough to go along with whatever you want. I'd really better watch out. I think you know me better than that! If you have to get someone drunk in order to get them to go along with you, then they would've never wanted to be with you in the first place. That would hurt more than anything else! Mind you, a few drinks to relax the nerves never hurts. > Of course, it might be more fun to just pretend to be drunk and then go along anyway. I see. An actor too! > Guess his wife is going to be really pissed at you if she finds out you're responsible for this. His wife knows me. I'm sure I'll get a phone call sometime in the near future. > I'm glad you think so. But I still don't know if we qualify as an "us" or even what the pre-requisites are. I don't think I know either. > We're trapped in a circular conversation. STOP! I'm getting dizzy! > That's very good to hear. Sounds like you've got it under control. I'll stop worrying about it and trust that you're a big girl and can make your own decisions. You're damned right! I don't do anything anymore unless I want to. > Yeah, but everybody I know gets like that once in a while. You seem extremely well-adjusted to me. I wouldn't worry about it. Thanks. I guess I am, but if I spend too much time alone at home with nothing to do, I fall into that trap and that's when I could end up doing really stupid things. I just have to learn how to deal with those type of days. > Quick! The antidote! 50 ccs of Pink Floyd, IV push, stat! Did I mention to you that Pink Floyd has always been my very favorite band, or is this one of those eerie things again? HOLD THE PRESSES! This is getting too eerie!!! There's a new song on the radio as I'm writing -- by Rick Wright (keyboardist for Floyd). This just gave me a chill! > Sure, come on down. See how the Mormons live. Well, it would only be fair if the next visit was mine, right?? > Unfortunately, I think it probably won't be until February, though. That's fine. Maybe I'll finish unpacking by then. Probably just the incentive to finish this place. How long can you come up here for?? Give me enough warning so that I can book my holidays and I don't blow Dave's schedules all to hell. I think to be fair to him, I should let him know a couple of weeks in advance. BTW, I was just assuming that you'd be staying at my place while you're here. That wouldn't bother you, would it? You can stay wherever you're most comfortable, though. I just never gave it any thought until now. > … cut off my outside e-mail. Let's hope it doesn't happen. No! We can't have them cutting you off. Then where would I be?? Talk to you soon, Norah P.S. I overheard something interesting at work. Two women were talking in the hallway, and one said: "I've learned something very important and helps me through it -- Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery and Today is a gift. That's why we call it the Present”… hmmm. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 32 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 08:54 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: Take a break! -Reply -Reply Hi, Norah! > I'm so glad to be home now. Some days there doesn't seem to be a better place to be. True. And other times there's no worse place to be. It all depends on your mood. > What time are you working till? Well, I left at 6, but now it's 8 and I'm back. I guess I'll stay until I get sick of being here. Oh, wait, that's right now. I guess I'll stay until I decide that it's bedtime. If I can make this message long enough, that will just about do it. > Are you doing the MALL WARS after work again? No, I'm still recovering. I'm also still trying to figure out what I'm going to get for everybody. > A Lemming! Walking around aimlessly lost and confused and eventually walking off of a cliff and plunging to their death. Can you tell how much I enjoy this event? That's good. I usually feel like one of a herd of cattle. Sounds like you enjoy shopping even less than I do. > This weekend, I'm going to make a serious effort the get this done. Oh yeah! I have to somehow do this picture thing too. Whenever it's convenient. There's no big hurry. You could probably milk this and get me to come up there sooner just so I can see you. Of course, I'm already planning on doing that as soon as I can, so it might not do any good. > How is it you know all the right things to say?? I usually just say what's on my mind. I'm learning how to say what's in my heart as well. > Don't kid yourself. I can be a real bitch if I want to be. I just never want to be unless someone has really pissed me off. Good. I wouldn't have been able to respect you as much if you were one of these meek women who act like everything is their fault and let people walk all over them. You see this happen a lot in cultures where women don't have a very high social standing, like some areas of Asia or the Mormon church. > I think you know me better than that! If you have to get someone drunk in order to get them to go along with you, then they would've never wanted to be with you in the first place. I actually thought about this a while ago and came to the same conclusion you did. I decided that I shouldn't sleep with a drunk person unless we had been together previously. I think it's good to decide these things when I'm sober. If I've had a few, I can't make decisions, but I can usually enforce them. I'm normally so inhibited that I've never been drunk enough where I said anything I really regretted. Alcohol just lowers my inhibitions to the point where I'm not nervous about saying things that I want to, but normally wouldn't be able to. Given how nervous I usually am around women, I think I will need a few drinks if I ever get to that point. No, make that when. I've gotta stop thinking so negatively. > I see. An actor too! No, not really. I'm sure I wouldn't have convinced you. > His wife knows me. I'm sure I'll get a phone call sometime in the near future. Now you just need to figure out a way to sell her on the idea. I think they need two Dakotas: his and hers. > You're damned right! I don't do anything anymore unless I want to. Good for you! Give 'em hell, Norah! Sorry, just got a little carried away there. > If I spend too much time alone at home with nothing to do, I fall into that trap and that's when I could end up doing really stupid things. I just have to learn how to deal with those type of days. What kind of stupid things could you do? Nothing too serious, I hope. My problem is that I start thinking about my life no matter what I'm doing. Staying busy doesn't keep me from getting depressed. Although I haven't gotten that way since I've started talking to you. > Did I mention to you that Pink Floyd has always been my very favorite band, or is this one of those eerie things again? I think when I rocketed down to Vegas to see Rush you mentioned that you wouldn't do that for anybody other than Floyd. > HOLD THE PRESSES! This is getting too eerie!!! There's a new song on the radio as I'm writing -- by Rick Wright (keyboardist for Floyd). This just gave me a chill! So how is it? Actually, I haven't been watching ER lately. The first couple of seasons were really good, but they seem to keep recycling the same stories, so I stopped watching. Well, they did for a while, but my mom says they're better now. > Well, it would only be fair if the next visit was mine, right?? I have to make the first visit a reality first. > I think to be fair to him, I should let him know a couple of weeks in advance. I'll probably be able to swing a week off of work, plus the adjoining weekends. I'll have to see what the comp time situation looks like. Do you think you'll be sick enough of me in a week? I'll try to give you as much advance warning as I can, but schedules are a pretty nebulous concept around here. > BTW, I was just assuming that you'd be staying at my place while you're here. That wouldn't bother you, would it? You can stay wherever you're most comfortable, though. I just never gave it any thought until now. Doesn't bother me, as long as your dogs’ approve of me. I'm glad you offered. Shuttling me back and forth to a hotel would just eat up way too much time. Besides, I think we would just sit up and talk on the phone while I was at the hotel. Also, we can drink rum & cokes at your place and not have to drive anywhere. (Here we go, back to the alcohol, and we know where that leads.) > No! We can't have them cutting you off. Then where would I be?? Waiting for me to get home so I can check my mail. You know, I think that if you do get access at work, we're both going to be in real trouble. > Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery and Today is a gift. That's why we call it the Present”… hmmm. That's an interesting way of putting it. There's certainly something to be said for not living your life in the past. However, I think there is also something to be said about considering the consequences of your actions. Also, today was created by yesterday. Whenever someone tells me that today is all that matters and I should forget about yesterday and tomorrow, I usually think they're over-simplifying things a little. Oh, I forgot to tell you that I finally put the new Dakota ad up on my cubicle wall. The Mormon guy who works next to me reminds me of Ned Flanders from the Simpsons[79]. He came over and was checking it out, asking me if I was going to trade my Dak in on the new one. He didn't say anything about it being full of surprises, though. I even had my response ready: "it is full of surprises, especially the good kind." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 33 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Thu, Dec 05, 1996, 12:23 AM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Working too hard! Hi there Jason, You sound like you're working far too hard. > You could probably milk this and get me to come up there sooner just so I can see you. Of course, I'm already planning on doing that as soon as I can, so it might not do any good. I wouldn't milk it. I just like to tease you. > I usually just say what's on my mind. I'm learning how to say what's in my heart as well. Wow again!!!! A man with a heart!!! You just don't stop surprising me. > I wouldn't have been able to respect you as much if you were one of these meek women who act like everything is their fault and let people walk all over them. Thanks, that means more than you know. The old Norah was a little like that. I used to blame myself for most things and always allowed people to walk all over me. I just wanted everyone to like me. Now of course, you know what I'm like -- if you don't like me, it’s your loss and your problem. I still have trouble accepting this major change in me. I don't ever want it to stop as people have much more respect for me now than before. > I actually thought about this a while ago and came to the same conclusion you did. I decided that I shouldn't sleep with a drunk person unless we had been together previously. Also, you can't enjoy it as much! Alcohol is too numbing. > I'm normally so inhibited that I've never been drunk enough where I said anything I really regretted. Ooops. I have. At a company Christmas party. A while back (not where I am now, thank God) my manager was having an affair with one of the female programmers. Everyone at work knew about it and never said anything. Well, needless to say, I was seated at the same table as they were - along with their spouses (spice as you say). I had a few too many, ok maybe more than a few, and just blurted out: "So Frank, are you and Laura still involved with each other, or is that over now?" Biggest ooops that came out of my mouth. I never knew what happened after that, other than Laura quit shortly after and Frank transferred to another city. > Alcohol just lowers my inhibitions to the point where I'm not nervous about saying things that I want to, but normally wouldn't be able to. Well, I guess I better stock up on my rum supply. <kidding>. > Given how nervous I usually am around women, I think I will need a few drinks if I ever get to that point. No, make that when. I've gotta stop thinking so negatively. Good. I'm glad you caught yourself. Just don't be nervous around me or I'll get nervous too. > What kind of stupid things could you do? Nothing too serious, I hope. Well, things like going out to a bar by myself, long drives in the middle of the night, crying myself to sleep, and feeling incredibly sorry for myself. I would call those pretty damn stupid. > Staying busy doesn't keep me from getting depressed. Although I haven't gotten that way since I've started talking to you. Thanks again. I have to admit, my depression relapses are a lot fewer and farther between since I started talking to you as well. We seem to be a good support system for each other. > I think when I rocketed down to Vegas to see Rush you mentioned that you wouldn't do that for anybody other than Floyd. Whew! I was getting nervous that I might have to call in "Unsolved Mysteries[80]" or something. > … new Rick Wright song … So how is it? It's pretty good. He sounds very Floyd. Every time I hear any of these guys do solo stuff, they each still have the Floyd sound. I guess it's the style they each like and it's probably why they were so good together. > I'll probably be able to swing a week off of work, plus the adjoining weekends. I'll have to see what the comp time situation looks like. Do you think you'll be sick enough of me in a week? Never! You’re too neat! > I'll try to give you as much advance warning as I can, but schedules are a pretty nebulous concept around here. Astronomer Jason just snuck out! > Doesn't bother me, as long as your dogs’ approve of me. Cindy's cool. Bobby needs a personality adjustment. He's nasty at first, but you just can’t show fear. He'll bark for about an hour and then settle down. He settles down a lot quicker with people that actually like dogs. He's relentless if he suspects you're not an animal lover. > I'm glad you offered. Shuttling me back and forth to a hotel would just eat up way too much time. Besides, I think we would just sit up and talk on the phone while I was at the hotel. Good! I'm glad. Going back and forth would be a definite waste of time. The selfish me doesn't want to unnecessarily throw away the short time we'll have. > Also, we can drink rum & cokes at your place and not have to drive anywhere. (Here we go, back to the alcohol, and we know where that leads.) Well, I guess I definitely have to replenish my rum supply. <no longer kidding>. >> No! We can't have them cutting you off. Then where would I be?? > Waiting for me to get home so I can check my mail. You know, I think that if you do get access at work, we're both going to be in real trouble. You're right. I think I better not get access. >... I even had my response ready: "it is full of surprises, especially the good kind." Yup!!! I definitely agree! I was getting ready for bed when your e-mail came in. Thought about leaving it till morning, but I couldn't resist. I just had to read it. And of course, once I read it, I just had to reply. Yes, I know… typical woman. Anyway, I'm off to dreamland. Talk to you tomorrow. Sleep well. Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 34 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Wed, Dec 04, 1996, 11:18 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: Working too hard! Hey Norah [working far too hard] Well, after I sent that message to you I looked at what I was supposed to be working on, realized that my brain was drawing a total blank, and came home. Oh well. > Wow again!!!! A man with a heart!!! You just don't stop surprising me. I thought you already had that figured out. I also thought you were going to stop being surprised. > Thanks, that means more than you know. The old Norah was a little like that. I used to take blame for most things and always allowed people to walk all over me. I guess we could count this as another thing we have in common. I'm pretty sure I told you all about this. I used to be really meek and accommodating. Now I'm much more assertive. My manager thinks I'm awesome because I'm the only programmer he's ever seen who has the guts to tell the company president when he has a stupid idea. I just come right out and say, "that's never going to work, sir" while the other programmers try to figure out how to hide in a corner and write a memo to justify why it will eventually prove impossible. [alcohol is too numbing] Another good point. [don't be nervous around me] I'll try to relax. I can't make any promises, though. > Well, things like going out to a bar by myself, long drives in the middle of the night, crying myself to sleep, and feeling incredibly sorry for myself. I would call those pretty damn stupid. Maybe, but not serious. I didn't think you would do anything to hurt yourself, but I had to make sure. Remember, I live in the Prozac capital of the planet, and I know people who have attempted suicide. That's one of the few subjects I can't joke about. > Thanks again. I have to admit, my depression relapses are a lot fewer and farther between since I started talking to you as well. We seem to be a good support system for each other. I agree. I'm glad your "relapses" are getting fewer. Of course, there's another shopping-filled weekend coming up. Hope you're up to it. [sounding very Floyd] Did you ever hear Roger Waters' live Berlin performance of The Wall? Well, it was Waters and a whole bunch of other people, notably missing any other members of Floyd. What did you think? My roommate in college had it, and I could never make up my mind. I liked parts, but as a whole it never appealed to me that much. [nebulous] That's right, I think I was one of the first to start using that. That's been a couple of years ago, and I don't even notice anymore. [Bobby] How about if I bring him a steak or something? No, that would probably spoil him for dog food. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate that. [replenish my rum supply] Don't replenish it too far. I don't plan on getting toasted. One, possibly two in any given night. > I was getting ready for bed when your e-mail came in. Thought about leaving it till morning, but I couldn't resist. I just had to read it. And of course, once I read it, I just had to reply. Yes, I know... typical woman. Well, I did exactly the same thing. <Yawn> I should have been in bed an hour ago. It apparently isn't an exclusively feminine characteristic. > Anyway, I'm off to dreamland. Talk to you tomorrow. Sleep well. You too. Until tomorrow. Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 35 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Thu, Dec 05, 1996, 06:32 AM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Re: Working too hard! Hey there Jason, [stopping being surprised] Ok, ok - you're right! It's just that my head has a hard time believing it! [being more assertive] Be careful. I found with myself that at one point, I thought I was assertive, but it wasn't. It was aggressive. I had to find the happy middle ground. My therapist also taught me how to be direct but still diplomatic and tactful. It's just when I'm angry - my mouth doesn't cooperate, and I just end up saying crap. It's really hard to walk away, think about it and then state how you feel. But I'm learning!! [telling the company president when he has a stupid idea] That's great! I think I'm the only one who screamed "FUCK" to the CEO of the company. When I was on nights, I used to turn the lights down and blare the music. One morning, around 3:00 am, I was in the tape vault and when I came out. There were two men standing in the computer room. I didn't notice them until I was almost right there. So, I screamed "FUCK" and dropped my tapes. I didn't realize who he was till he turned the lights up higher. I thought – oh-oh, guess I'm hitting the unemployment line tomorrow! He apologized tremendously and said it was his fault, he shouldn't have been coming around at that hour without any advance warning, etc. etc. Now, whenever he sees me, he just smiles and says hello Norah. No one else can figure out why he's so nice to me and doesn't even know the others' names. I guess when you almost give someone heart failure, you tend to be a little different. He hasn't been in the computer room since. [try to relax. I can't make any promises] Neither can I. [suicide] You're right! No joke there! [another shopping-filled weekend coming up] OH PLEASE - I think I'm going to hit the stores as soon as they open. I'd like to get it over with before the ignorant masses get there. [Waters & live Berlin performance of The Wall] I have to admit, I have a problem with Waters. I think he is too full of himself and gives himself far more credit than he deserves. I think the band has done pretty good without him. It's Gilmour that I really admire. I have a weak spot for good guitarists and he's great! I also like Dire Straits[81], Stevie Ray Vaughan[82], and a Toronto guy called Rik Emmett who used to play with a band called Triumph[83]. This guy was a great guitarist. [spoiling Bobby] He's already spoiled beyond belief. It's because he's so damned cute and he knows it. He doesn't want to share me with anyone or anything. It's as if he's love-struck. Maybe he should go to therapy next? I've never had a dog quite like this. He makes me laugh so much. Whenever I've become depressed and cry - he's right there crying and licking your face. He'll do whatever it takes to make you stop! He'll bring me his toys, my shoes, his leash, etc. Who can stay upset for long? >> I was getting ready for bed when your e-mail came in. > Well, I did exactly the same thing. <Yawn> I should have been in bed an hour ago. And you say that I'm addictive. So are you!! I have to start getting ready for work now. Talk to you later. Have a good day at work. Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 36 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Thu, Dec 05, 1996, 07:15 AM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: Working too hard! Hey Norah. Well, the cat finally pestered me into getting out of bed. Fine: 1. feed the cat. 2. make coffee. 3. check for more mail from Norah. The only reason you're not a higher priority is that those other two are absolute necessities. [assertive vs. aggressive] Hmmm... that's sort of a subtle difference. It does seem like I'm most polite with people I can't stand. To a point. If that doesn't work, try the direct approach. I'm sure that looks to the person on the receiving end like I've lost my temper, but in reality I don't lose my temper very often. If I do, I can't speak coherently, so it doesn't do any good. [computer room scare] Sneaking up on you sounds like something I would do. I startle people quite often. I don't mean to. I think it's just because I'm so quiet. There's one thing I really like about small companies: our president knows the names of everybody who works for him. He makes it a point. I guess your CEO should be glad you weren't carrying any mace. That would have been really embarrassing. [getting the shopping over with] Excellent idea. The more carefully you plan it, the more quickly you can be done with it. [Waters too full of himself] That's what I decided about Waters after hearing his version of The Wall. I like Dire Straits and Stevie Ray as well. I'm not familiar with Mr. Emmett. I also like Clapton[84] and Hendrix[85], especially when they're playing blues. I have an album of Hendrix playing classic blues. I like it quite a bit. I also like bass guitar. However, other than Geddy Lee and Les Claypool of Primus[86], there aren't very many good bassists around. [spoiled Bobby] That's one thing about cats: they really don't give a damn what you think, as long as they get their food. Of course, just watching Pierre play usually cheers me up a lot, whether that's what he wanted or not. He's a real clown. Holding him in my lap and petting him is pretty relaxing as well. He's only sitting there for himself, but that's all right. I sort of like the independent attitude. If you want to see spoiled dogs you should see my grandmother's. She can't say no to any animal. I swear, those dogs are better off than most people I know. > I have to start getting ready for work now. I suppose I do as well. > Talk to you later. Have a good day at work. Oh, I doubt it, but thank you anyway. Of course, I don't know what I'm whining about. My job could be so much worse. I'm just not happy unless I have something to complain about, though. Talk to you later. Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 37 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Thu, Dec 05, 1996, 12:25 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Lunch Break! Hey Jason, Was it ever nice coming home for lunch and finding mail from you. Now my afternoon will be a lot nicer. >3. check for more mail from Norah. The only reason you're not a higher priority is that those other two are absolute necessities. I feel honored to be number 3. > Sneaking up on you sounds like something I would do. I startle people quite often. I don't mean to. I think it's just because I'm so quiet. Sneaking up on me... Ooooh! Seriously, there's a big difference when you're all alone in the middle of the night. You just don't expect to see another human, especially when you're behind magnetically locked doors. [like Clapton and Hendrix] I like Clapton too, along with Carlos Santana[87]. I'm allowed to be surprised now!!! I don't care for Hendrix that much. Finally - a difference. But if it's classic blues, it would have to be good. [I also like bass guitar] Bass is good too, but I don't know of anyone in particular that I like. [something to complain about] So, you're a complainer too. I complain a lot, but I tend to do it mostly with sarcastic humor. I told Dave that I was going to be taking some time in February, but I wasn't sure exactly when. He didn't see a problem with it as February is a relatively slow month. Mind you, you'll be coming up here in the coldest month of our winter. I'll keep you posted with weather updates. Dave has been bugging me all morning to find out why I'm taking vacation in February. He knows that I don't take vacations unless I have something to do. His curiosity is going to kill him, but I'm not saying anything. I like to watch these guys speculate and try to figure it out. It's really quite amusing. Anyway, I should get heading back to work. I'll talk to you when I get home. Bye for now. Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 38 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Thu, Dec 05, 1996, 11:07 AM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Lunch Break! -Reply Hi Norah, > Was it ever nice coming home for lunch and finding mail from you. Now my afternoon will be a lot nicer. I'm glad you responded. I usually have to go the entire day without hearing from you. Also, thanks for giving me an opportunity to test my new forwarding rule. I figured out how to forward mail from work over to my home account. Since I have my mail forwarded from home to work, I had to be careful to avoid getting into a loop with it. Anything I get which has an @ symbol in the “From: field” and was sent right to account, gets forwarded over. The system here says it did it. I'll have to dial in when I get home and see if it worked. > Seriously, there's a big difference when you're all alone in the middle of the night. That's true. Although I managed to scare the girl I was dating for a while in college pretty well. I went upstairs looking for her, and her roommate said she was gone but would be back in a minute, so I decided to wait in her room. She came back in, closed the door, and didn't notice me for a few seconds. I said, "hi". She screamed. I felt bad about scaring her, but it was pretty funny. [Finally – a difference] I guess we were bound to find some differences. Santana is all right, but I'm not really a big fan. I like Hendrix's other stuff as well. I don't remember what's on this blues album other than Red House, but Jimi didn't write any of it. [complaining sarcastic humor] Exactly. The only problem is that people often don't realize this and think I'm seriously upset. Especially since I often string a bunch of profanities together. [coming up here in the coldest month] That's a good point. Maybe we should do this in the reverse order: south in the winter and north in the spring. Of course, Toronto is more east than it is north. It can get pretty bloody cold around here in February. I guess if you wait until summer to come down here we can go four wheeling and maybe even do some camping. Salt Lake isn't exactly the excitement center of the country, so we may as well get out of the city. > I like to watch these guys speculate and try to figure it out. It's really quite amusing. You're a real sadist when you want to be, do you know that? I can certainly appreciate that. Are their memories good enough to put this together with the mysterious Jason person they never managed to track down? > Anyway, I should get heading back to work. I'll talk to you when I get home. I'm looking forward to it. Until then Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 39 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Thu, Dec 05, 1996, 08:39 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Home again! Hi Jason, > I'm glad you responded. I usually have to go the entire day without hearing from you. Ah! Did you miss me?? > Also, thanks for giving me an opportunity to test my new forwarding rule. I actually sent the lunch time message directly to your work as I knew you'd be there. I forgot that you forward your mail. I think I'll just keep sending it to your home to make sure you get it! [scaring girls] Funny? Do me a favor and don't go around scaring me. You forget, I took the self-defense course. I wouldn't want to react without thinking! [bound to find some differences] Geez, there seems to be a lot less and insignificant differences than there are things in common. > … sarcastic humor … The only problem is that people often don't realize this and think I'm seriously upset. Especially since I often string a bunch of profanities together. Yup. That's happened to me too. A lot of them just don't get my sense of humor. [cold February] Of course, I want to come down in the summer. But I hope this still means you're coming up in February?? We'll fight the cold together! (snicker) [a real sadist when you want to be] Yup!!!! Their memories are pretty good, but I haven't heard anything yet. I'm sure it's a matter of time. Mick's the one that was really curious about who Jason was. He's been on days off until tonight. I'm sure he'll piece it together. Then, he'll be on my case for a very long time. Not in a bad way, but he'll be watching everyone I talk with. Poor guy! I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't need him looking out for me anymore. He seems to enjoy the job. So now that I had to bring up vacation time - Dave has managed to shirk some of his management responsibilities on to me. "Since you want vacation, you can coordinate everyone else’s and schedule ample coverage for everyone." I should have known better. Every time someone complains or asks him about something - he passes the project over to the person who first brought it up. I won't dare mention that the computer room needs major cleaning under the tiles!! When I finish this e-mail, I have to dial in to my bank and pay some bills before I forget. Then, I'm going to try to go shopping. Maybe it won't be so bad tonight. Most people get paid either on the end of the month or on Friday. Tonight, might actually be tolerable. Wish me luck. Talk to you soon, Norah PS. I couldn't send this to you earlier because the ISP server was down. This made the decision for me, and I went to the MALL -- I survived, barely. I'm home now! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 40 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 09:52 AM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Home again! -Reply HI Norah, I waited until this morning to respond to this since we talked for two hours on the phone last night. I hope you weren't disappointed when you didn't get any mail from me this morning. I hope you don't think any less of me after finding out that I own handguns. You seemed a little turned off by the idea. I don't use them for hunting, nor do I have any illusions of defending my home against intruders. One, that sort of thing doesn't happen very often in Orem. Two, it usually doesn't work as the homeowner can't get to the gun or the criminal gets there first. I only have them for bull’s-eye shooting at paper targets. It takes a lot of concentration; you have to be able to shut out everything but one finger and the sights. It's like yoga or meditation for me. It helps me relieve a lot of stress. > Aaaah! Did you miss me?? I did. I'll get over it, but it's not as nice as when I get mail from you during the day. > I forgot that you forward your mail. I think I'll just keep sending it to your home to make sure you get it! That's what I thought. Sending to my home account is the best policy, though. I'm pretty sure they won't cut me off here, but if they do I'll be over on my home ISP exclusively. > Funny? Do me a favor and don't go around scaring me. You forget, I took the self-defense course. I wouldn't want to react without thinking! Well, it was funny later when she got over being startled. She said it was sort of amusing but try not to do it again. I'll have to keep your special forces training in mind. I wouldn't want to find myself suddenly flat on my back on the floor with your hands around my throat. (Or would I?) Maybe I should wear a bell or something so I can't sneak up on you. > Of course, I want to come down in the summer. But I hope this still means you're coming up in February?? We'll fight the cold together! (snicker) Mmmmm... a big blanket, a couple of cups of coffee... sounds cozy. Okay, I've got a real February calendar here. Well, I have a program that will generate one. Last night I was looking at the tiny January calendar in the "next month" spot on my 1996 calendar. Here is my plan is it now stands: Feb. 1 is a Saturday. I would fly up there on the 1st and take the 3rd through the 7th off of work. I would fly back on Sunday the 9th. That will give us a whole week together plus whatever we can salvage of the travel days. Does that sound all right with you? I'll call the airline as soon as I can and see what I can work out. Talk to you later Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 41 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 12:58 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Home for the Day! Hey Jason, I'm off till Monday morning!!!! They gave me the afternoon off as a thanks for all the hard work on the Recovery Project. I think I need it. > I waited until this morning to respond to this since we talked for two hours on the phone last night. I hope you weren't disappointed when you didn't get any mail from me this morning. Nope! I was running late this morning and barely had time to look after the dogs. I was really surprised that you called, though. I thought you didn't like phones. Anyway, it was really nice talking to you. This may sound a bit weird, but I like listening to your accent. You could talk to me for hours about anything, I just like hearing your voice/accent. > I hope you don't think any less of me after finding out that I own handguns. You seemed a little turned off by the idea. It's not that I'm turned off, they just really frighten me. I have my reasons. [guns] Target shooting is A-OK, but I'm really against hunting. I love animals too much and the thought of shooting one, for anything but self-defense or food, bothers me a lot. > I'll get over it, but it's not as nice as when I get mail from you during the day. You're being sweet again. Thanks… ok, I like it. > I'll have to keep your special forces training in mind. I wouldn't want to find myself suddenly flat on my back on the floor with your hands around my throat. (Or would I?) Maybe! > Mmmmm... a big blanket, a couple of cups of coffee... sounds cozy. Funny that we can talk like this on e-mail but it’s a very different story on the phone. Hmmmm, 2 nervous people - this could be different. We'll either scare each other away, or tremble together. > Feb. 1 is a Saturday. I would fly up there on the 1st and take the 3rd through the 7th off of work. I would fly back on Sunday the 9th. That will give us a whole week together… It sounds great! Dave has already approved that week for me, but he said if for some reason I need to change my plans, that was ok too. I'm going to look around today and find out where I can get this picture thing taken care of. It's only fair that you see what I look like. Write soon, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 42 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 11:38 AM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Home for the Day! -Reply Hi Norah, > I'm off till Monday morning!!!! They gave me the afternoon off as a thanks for all the hard work on the Recovery Project. I think I need it. Good for you! Now the only question is, what are you going to do with yourself? You already have all of your shopping done. It's too bad you didn't know about this ahead of time. I'll bet the mall is a lot less crowded right now than it was last night. [your voice/accent] What is my accent like? Nobody ever thinks they are the ones with the accent. I've heard that Utah has a very strong 'r' though. I called for a couple of reasons. First, I wanted to talk about this vacation in person. Trying to do something like that over e-mail usually takes about five or six messages to get everything ironed out. Second, I wanted to hear your voice again. Your accent is subtle, but I can hear it. It's Canadian, but not as strong as in the Yukon. Your 'o's are a bit rounder, for lack of a better term. If I remember the next time I talk to you I'll try to show you what I'm talking about. I'm not as bad with phones as I used to be. Also, the fact that we've talked before helped. I only had to pick it up once to call you. None of this pick it up, chicken out, put it back down bullshit. [… fear of guns… I have my reasons] I'll try to keep that in mind. I'll lock them up if you come to visit me. I've had gun safety drilled into my head since I was five years old. It's one thing that I take incredibly seriously. I took a pistol marksmanship class in college. The instructor told me that I was really safe, almost to the point of being a little too cautious. I said, "good." >> … Self-Defense course … wouldn't want to find myself suddenly flat on my back on the floor with your hands around my throat. (Or would I?) > May-be! I don't know. I don't think I'm really into the rough stuff. Of course, I guess I won't know unless I try it, will I? > Funny that we can talk like this on e-mail but it’s a very different story on the phone. I noticed that as well. I don't know if it's because I'm more nervous when I'm on the phone, or if it's just because it's real-time. When I'm writing e-mail, I sometimes take a few seconds to think about what I'm going to say. In a real conversation, by the time I do that, the moment's passed. I think once we can talk in person I'll be able to relax. [already approved that week for me] Derek (my manager) said that sounds good on this end. I think I already mentioned this, but my dad knows someone who can get good rates on airline tickets. I want to talk to that guy and see what I can learn. Come to think of it, I think I've mentioned that more than once, haven't I? I have a bad habit of repeating myself. I sometimes can't remember what things I've told to what people, so I just go ahead and say it again. If you catch me doing this, just tell me so. I would rather you tell me than make you sit through the same story again. Well, I'll get back to work for now. Let me know what you decide to do with your time off. If you get bored tonight and want to call me, I would love to hear from you. I don't think I'll be going anywhere. If my plans change, I'll let you know. Talk to you later, Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 43 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 03:05 PM (MST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Weekend plans! Hi Jason, [what are you going to do with yourself] Don't kid yourself. I have tons to do right here at home. I was just upstairs having a coffee with the neighbors, and she asked me the same question. I told her that I was going out later to see if I can get a picture of myself because I don't have anything current. She corrected me: "Oh yes you do!" I forgot that she was outside taking pics of her dogs and saw me in the truck getting ready to go out. She came over and took a few pictures of me in the truck. I had forgotten all about those. She gave me the roll to go and get it developed. Who knows what they look like though? Funny, she never asked why I needed it! That solves one problem. Now how do I get it scanned? There must be a place around here that would do it? Any ideas? [Utah accent] The “r” is a bit strong, but it's just very pleasant to listen to. [wanted to hear your voice again] You're just too sweet for words! [not into the rough stuff] Don't worry, neither am I. > Mmmmm... a big blanket, a couple of cups of coffee... sounds cozy. Doesn't it though! >> Funny that we can talk like this on e-mail but it’s a very different story on the phone. > I noticed that as well. I don't know if it's because I'm more nervous when I'm on the phone, or if it's just because it's real-time. I don't know??? I'm already nervous about what you'll think of me and you're not even here yet. > I think I already mentioned this, but my dad knows someone who can get good rates on airline tickets. I want to talk to that guy and see what I can learn. When are you planning on talking to him? > Come to think of it, I think I've mentioned that more than once, haven't I? I have a bad habit of repeating myself. I do it too, so relax. If it bothers me, I'll tell you. Remember: I like to hear you speak, so if it's the same thing, it doesn't matter, just keep speaking. > Let me know what you decide to do with your time off. If you get bored tonight and want to call me, I would love to hear from you. I don't think I'll be going anywhere. I'm going to do what I said earlier and then the post office. The rest of the weekend will be unloading my wall unit, making room for the new one. Throwing out the couch, cleaning up, laundry, etc., etc., etc. Doesn't that sound exciting?? But I will definitely make time to call you. Just tell me around what time. I'm just going to head out to the photo lab and see what kind of horrendous pictures I'll have. Yuk! Talk to you later, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 44 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 02:38 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Weekend plans! -Reply Hey Norah, > … pictures … Now how do I get it scanned? There must be a place around here that would do it? Any ideas? I hope they turn out. I want to see your Dakota as well. I think around here Kinko's will scan pictures. If you don't have those up there, they're just an all-purpose copying shop. Or, since you have keys to everything at work, you could just go over in the middle of the night and use the scanner when nobody is around. > [not into the rough stuff] > Don't worry, neither am I. That's good to know. If you pick me up and throw me to the floor I won't go getting the wrong idea. Please try not to do that, though. > I'm already nervous about what you'll think of me and you're not even here yet. Well, I can tell you that there's nothing to be nervous about, but I know that doesn't help. I think when I'm going to really get hit by the nerves is when I'm walking off the airplane. Do airlines serve Captain Morgan? > … airline ticket guy… When are you planning on talking to him? I have to talk to my parents tonight to find out how to get a hold of him. I can try to talk to him tomorrow. Of course, my parents are going to want to know where I'm going. They're a little old-fashioned, especially my dad. It should be interesting to see what they say when I tell them I'm flying to Canada to visit a woman I met on the Internet for a week. My brother went to Michigan this past summer to spend some time with a female friend of his. They drove back to Utah together, which took all week. My dad's comment was, "I guess I'm the only one of the four parents who sees something wrong with two unmarried teenagers driving across the country together without adult supervision." My brother replied, "We're not teenagers." Needless to say, my brother and father mix about as well as nitro and glycerin. > … repeating oneself… I do it too, so relax. If it bothers me, I'll tell you. Remember: I like to hear you speak, so if it's the same thing, it doesn't matter, just keep speaking. You know, I'm reminded of a Star Trek episode here (surprise, surprise). Picard was having dinner with some alien woman who had decided that she liked him quite a bit. Picard of course resisted her advances politely. She said she liked to just sit and listen to the sound of his voice. He said, "Now that I know that you're listening to my voice, I find that I don't have anything to say." I know I don't have Patrick Stewart's voice, but I appreciate your comments anyway. [exciting weekend of housework] The party never stops at Norah's. Sounds like work to me. But it has to be done, and I guess this is the best time to do it. Actually, my weekend plans aren't much more interesting: shopping. I should be home and settled in by about 9:00 your time tonight. > I'm just going to head out to the photo lab and see what kind of horrendous pictures I'll have. Yuk! Don't feel like you have to send them to me if they don't turn out well and you don't want to. Oh, I thought some more about your food question from last night. I like spicy food quite a bit (hence Mexican and Italian). I don't like curry, though. I also can't seem to make myself like corn. Other than that, I'm pretty easy to please (when it comes to food, anyway). Oh, boy, I just looked at the clock. What's the point of being at work if I'm not going to get any work done? I will have to talk to you later. Until then Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 45 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 05:51 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: A funny thing! Jason, Don't worry, no long e-mail, so you'll be able to get some work done. The following was left on my desk by the LAN guys. I thought you'd get a laugh out of it. TOP TEN WAYS TO PISS OFF YOUR COMPUTER 10. Type softly and carry a big stick. 9. Dust cloth? What's that? 8. Keep rebooting until it begs for mercy. 7. You needed to put your coffee *somewhere*. 6. Remind it that its warranty expired last week, and no one's left to hear it scream. 5. Call it "that typey thing". 4. Make it jealous - use your laptop instead. 3. Fill your hourglass with silicon and play with it a lot. 2. No matter how loud it beeps at you, keep pressing "return" anyway. 1. Show naked pictures of it to the printer. Thought you could use a laugh. Norah. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 46 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 06:52 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Re: Weekend plans! –Reply Hey Jason, Don’t answer this e-mail from work. Maybe, don't even read it till you get home. Just finish up your work and I'll call you later. DON'T READ TILL YOU GET HOME!!! > I hope they turn out. I want to see your Dakota as well. Well, they turned out like shit! She happened to take those pictures when I was going through that really bad crap. Yuk, yuk, yuk!!! When I went out today to courier a package, these same people also scan pictures. In any format. I'll keep them in mind for future. > Well, I can tell you that there's nothing to be nervous about, but I know that doesn't help. You're right! It doesn't help one bit. > Do airlines serve Captain Morgan? Probably, but be careful. The altitude makes alcohol work a lot faster. When I went to Phoenix, it was in the middle of a Canadian Air Traffic Controllers strike. All flights were cancelled, so they bused us to Buffalo. For our inconvenience, they served free drinks. Well, by the time we landed in Chicago, I was totally pissed, got lost in that damn circular airport, and almost missed my connecting flight. Never again! [Patrick Stewart's voice] His voice is nice too, but yours is better. > Actually, my weekend plans aren't much more interesting: shopping. Shopping! I'd rather clean my house. But I'm sure I'll still have to run out tomorrow to get something else. There's *always* something else. > I should be home and settled in by about 9:00 your time tonight. I'll call you then. > Don't feel like you have to send them to me if they don't turn out well and you don't want to. Believe me, I'm not. I just wish I was more photogenic because they never look like me. Now I'm depressed! > Other than that, I'm pretty easy to please (when it comes to food, anyway). Mexican I can't make, Italian and Hungarian I can. Would you want to try Hungarian? I'll talk to you later, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 47 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fri, Dec 06, 1996, 09:46 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: Weekend plans! -Reply Hi Norah, Well, Nick wasn't home, so I decided to log in and clean all of the Dakota mailing list messages that have been sitting in my mailbox. Even after talking to, you for two hours I scanned through this message and found a couple of things that I forgot to mention. Maybe I should print out your last e-mail before I talk to you next time :-). > [Patrick Stewart's voice] > His voice is nice too, but yours is better. Now I know you're either flattering me or plain out full of shit. Stewart's voice doesn't do anything for me personally, but I have heard it and I can tell how nice it is. I do appreciate the comment, unbelievable as it is. > … pictures… I just wish I was more photogenic because they never look like me. I always blame the person who took them. I don't look nearly that bad in professional portraits, so it must be the photographer's fault. > Mexican I can't make, Italian and Hungarian I can. Would you want to try Hungarian? I'll try anything. I can't really make Mexican. Well, I can make pseudo-Mexican, which means I can brown ground beef, dump a packet of "Taco seasoning mix" in and spoon it into tortillas with some shredded cheese. Like I keep saying, low tech is the name of my cooking game. I'm willing to try to help you cook if you can tell me what to do. I don't want to feel like I'm making you wait on me. Of course, two klutzy neurotic people in the kitchen at the same time might be a disaster waiting to happen. Well, I had better stop there. Otherwise, I'm going to end up writing a novel or something. I want to have something to talk about when I get up there. Write back when you can Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 48 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sat, Dec 07, 1996, 01:42 AM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Re: Weekend plans! –Reply This is really weird. You'd think after we talked for so long, that checking out the e-mail wouldn't seem necessary. But noooo! Both of us did it. You know what they say - too much of a good thing... > … Patrick Stewart… Now I know you're either flattering me or plain out full of shit. Well thanks a lot. I'm not doing either. I won't try to convince you anymore. Just know that I think you have a very sexy voice, and that accent drives me crazy. Accept it or not, your choice!! I won't mention it again. > … pictures… What really scares me is maybe I really do look like that and it's just my perception of myself is not realistic. But everyone reassures me that the pictures are just really bad. I hope so. I wouldn't want to be labeled delusional as well as demanding!!!! > I'll try anything. Anything????? I'll remember that. Remember, it's in print. Thank God Mick isn't here. He would have twisted those last 2 lines beyond belief. The sad part is, that I managed to twist it in my head all by myself. > Like I keep saying, low tech is the name of my cooking game. Now you'll have to prove it and cook for me, at least one night. > I'm willing to try to help you cook if you can tell me what to do. I'm sure we could cook up something together. I must be very tired. I can't believe I just wrote that. > I don't want to feel like I'm making you wait on me. I don't wait on anyone unless I want to. Don't worry, you'll earn your keep. > Of course, two klutzy neurotic people in the kitchen at the same time might be a disaster waiting to happen. That's ok! Bobby would be there to pick up the accidents. He always is. He sits there and waits for things to fall down. The klutzier, the happier he is. I was just curious about what you've told your brother and Nick so far. You were a true gentleman, asking if it was ok to mention me. Most guys would have done it anyway. Just do me a favor and don't go into any details about what I've told you. I don't think I'm at the point where I can handle too many people knowing. You'll have to tell me what advice your brother and Nick are giving you. I can just imagine. It was really nice talking to you, but I got the impression that you only wanted me to call, so that you could make sure I wouldn't have a rough weekend. You're starting to sound like Mick -- looking out for me too much. It was extremely sweet of you, though. I won't write you too much this weekend because I know you have a lot of work to do, and I don't want to take you away from it. I'll just wait for you to write. Have a good weekend and don't work too hard. I'll be thinking about you. (BTW - this is one of those "I mean it" lines) Write when you get a chance, Norah P.S. Don't forget to inquire about tickets. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 49 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sat, Dec 07, 1996, 10:07 AM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: Weekend plans! -Reply Hi Norah > You'd think after we talked for so long, that checking out the e-mail wouldn't seem necessary. It's not that weird, given the fact that we seem to be able to talk more freely through e-mail than we can over the phone. At least that's true of me. I'm not sure if you're the same way or if you're just holding back because you don't want to make me uncomfortable. I hope we can get over that by the time I get up there. BTW, if you're just holding back, I could probably use a little discomfort, so go ahead. It's the only way I'm ever going to get used to really talking to you like I write to you. > I think you have a very sexy voice, and that accent drives me crazy. Well, all right. I'm still not convinced. Since you had mentioned my voice, I couldn't help but notice last night that yours is really nice as well. It could just be the smoking, but your voice is very... sultry. It's really nice to listen to. Especially with the slight accent you don't believe you have. > Anything????? I'll remember that. Remember, it's in print. Well, I'll try *almost* anything. I might not like it, but there's only one way to find out. The problem with people like Mick is that you have to learn to think like he does in order to prevent him from twisting your words around. Then you just start thinking like that automatically. You might have noticed that I don't really mind when you're re-interpreting what I say. Actually, I've left some subtle things in messages that I saw and thought about removing. I was hoping that you might pick up on them. If you have, I don't think you've really said anything. > Now you'll have to prove it and cook for me, at least one night. Ok. This will be interesting, to say the least. I'll have to find a recipe I think I can make. > I'm sure we could cook up something together. Mick would have had a field day. I, on the other hand, am looking forward to it. > I don't wait on anyone unless I want to. Don't worry, you'll earn your keep. Good. Nothing worse than feeling like a leech. > That's ok! Bobby would be there to pick up the accidents. I'll be careful not to drop too much. I wouldn't want him to get so fat he has to waddle around. > I was just curious about what you've told your brother and Nick so far… You'll have to tell me what advice your brother and Nick are giving you. I can just imagine. Well, your imagination is probably pretty accurate. I did feel a little bad about only saying I hoped you didn't mind after I had already told my brother about you. I'm sorry about that, but we were talking, and the conversation just seemed to go where I was thinking, which was about you. I haven't told Nick anything myself, but I'm sure he knows everything I told my brother. This is what I've told him: your name, where you live, about your dogs, how much we've been talking to each other and that we're trying to exchange pictures, the fact that Rush played at your high school (he was as impressed as I was -- remember that we almost worship those guys), the fact that you used to be married to a total jerk, the fact that me visiting you was your idea, and the fact that you can be really flirtatious (I'm not going into any specifics there). Oh, and he was also asking me about our age difference. Neither of us were worried about it. Believe me, I'm not about to tell them anything very personal. > … You're starting to sound like Mick -- looking out for me too much. It was extremely sweet of you, though. Well, there was that. I also like listening to your voice. Mostly I'm trying to get over my phone phobia. I'm getting better. I don't want us to be leaving notes for each other on the computer when I get up there. BTW, are these phone calls costing you anything? I know they're not costing you very much, but even 20% is going to add up. It's not really fair to make you pay all of it. I should be helping out with it. > I won't write you too much this weekend because I know you have a lot of work to do. I remembered that my computer at home is set up so I can do my work here. I just have to swing by the office to get a couple of things and I'll try the work from home theory. I'm not sure how well it's going to work, to tell you the truth. I'll give it a shot, though. > Have a good weekend and don't work too hard. I'll be thinking about you. (BTW - this is one of those "I mean it" lines) I'm glad to hear it. I'll definitely be thinking about you as well. Oh, I almost forgot to ask how the cleaning is going. Almost done? Talk to you later Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 50 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sat, Dec 07, 1996, 03:43 PM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Re: Weekend plans! –Reply Hi Jason, I just came back from SHOPPING with my mother. This was the ultimate in nightmares! I had to circle the mall 3 times before I could find a parking spot which felt like it was in a neighboring province. I've had enough of this shit to last me a lifetime. But, you know moms: Norah, you really need this; Norah, isn't it time to replace that; how can you stand this piece of shit for so long, get a new one, etc., etc., etc. HELP ME! > I'm not sure if you're the same way or if you're just holding back because you don't want to make me uncomfortable. It's not that I don't want to make you uncomfortable, it's just that maybe I'm a bit nervous and don't want to give you any wrong impressions. Not that you probably don't have a few already. > I hope we can get over that by the time I get up there. I'm sure we will. > If you're just holding back, I could probably use a little discomfort, so go ahead. It's the only way I'm ever going to get used to really talking to you like I write to you. Ok then, be prepared. > … your voice… Well, all right. I'm still not convinced. Why do you find it so hard to believe? I guess you don't know me that well. I never bullshit anyone. I really DO like your voice! A LOT!! > I couldn't help but notice last night that yours is really nice as well. It could just be the smoking, but your voice is very... sultry. It's really nice to listen to. Why thank you. It's not as sultry now as it used to be. I've made a conscious effort to change it over the last few years. Too many guys at work used to call me for absolutely stupid reasons and it used to bug me. > Well, I'll try *almost* anything. I might not like it, but there's only one way to find out. That's right, sink or swim!!!! > … Mick… Then you just start thinking like that automatically. I think you're right. > You might have noticed that I don't really mind when you're re-interpreting what I say. Actually, I've left some subtle things in messages that I saw and thought about removing. I was hoping that you might pick up on them. Maybe I just don't want to cross the line and scare you off! > Ok. This will be interesting, to say the least. I'll have to find a recipe I think I can make. I'm sure you'll do just fine. You haven't died from food poisoning so go for it! > I'm sure we could cook up something together... Mick would have had a field day. I, on the other hand, am looking forward to it. Good, so am I. > Nothing worse than feeling like a leech. I somehow doubt you could ever be labeled that. You are too considerate. > I'm sorry about that, but we were talking, and the conversation just seemed to go where I was thinking, which was about you. Thinking about me?? Have another virtual kiss! > … Stuff you've told your brother… age differences… I've never worried about things like age differences from my viewpoint. I always concern myself with how the other person handles things like that. Guess what? RUSH is on the radio. Why doesn't this surprise me? > Believe me, I'm not about to tell them anything very personal. Thank you. > Mostly I'm trying to get over my phone phobia. I'm getting better. I don't want us to be leaving notes for each other on the computer when I get up there. That would be cute! Don't worry, I'm the least intimidating person in the world. I won't let you touch the computer unless you want to play. >… are these phone calls costing you anything?... I should be helping out with it. Thanks a lot, but completely unnecessary. It's still not as bad as you may think. And even if it was - it's worth it! > I remembered that my computer at home is set up so I can do my work here. I just have to swing by the office to get a couple of things and I'll try the work from home theory. I just remembered. I'm not supposed to be writing you and taking you away from your work. I'm sorry. I'll let you get back to work. > Oh, I almost forgot to ask how the cleaning is going. Almost done? I've done squat - too busy battling crowds. I guess I'm staying up late tonight to work on it. BTW, I went to bed at 1:00 am and didn't get out of bed till 9:00 am. I'm impressed with myself. Don't write back until you feel like you've accomplished some work. Bye, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 51 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sat, Dec 07, 1996, 05:43 PM (MST) To: Norah From: Jason Subject: Re: Weekend plans! -Reply Hi Norah, > I just came back from SHOPPING with my mother… HELP ME! I wish there was something I could do to help, but, like you say, I do know moms. There's no escape. > It's not that I don't want to make you uncomfortable, it's just that maybe I'm a bit nervous and don't want to give you any wrong impressions. Not that you probably don't have a few already. I might have a few wrong impressions, I suppose. You sound like you might be thinking of something specific. Are you? >> If you're just holding back, I could probably use a little discomfort, so go ahead. It's the only way I'm ever going to get used to really talking to you like I write to you. > Ok then, be prepared. Oh, boy. Something tells me I'm in for it now :-). > Why do you find it so hard to believe? I guess you don't know me that well. I never bullshit anyone. I really DO like your voice! A LOT!! Okay, okay. Thank you. I just never considered it one of my strong points. > It's not as sultry now as it used to be. I've made a conscious effort to c[Patrick Stewart's voice] His voice is nice too, but yours is better. Oh, great. Guys sure can be annoying at times, can't we? > Maybe I just don't want to cross the line and scare you off! I don't think you have to worry about scaring me off. I think you should worry more about the fact that I might take your flirting too seriously and get the wrong impression. > I'm sure we could cook up something together. Cooking food or cooking "something up together"? Or both? > Thinking about me?? Have another virtual kiss! Mmmmm... how nice. Yes, I am thinking about you, a lot of the time. Every time some self-destructive insecure thought gets into my head I just remember how sweet and supportive you are, and I feel a lot better. Of course, I don't only think about you when I'm depressed. > … age differences …. It doesn't worry me. I am conscious of it, but not nearly as much as I was at first. > RUSH is on the radio. Why doesn't this surprise me? They were on my stereo earlier, but from a CD. I don't catch them on the radio very often. > That would be cute! Don't worry, I'm the least intimidating person in the world. I won't let you touch the computer unless you want to play. It might be cute, but it would be a poor substitute for actually talking to each other. Gee, I've never even met Mick and I'm trying to guess what he might think of that last sentence. Just to clarify: exactly what is that I have to want to do before you'll let me use the computer? [work at home] I'm not sure the work-at-home idea was such a grand one. I spent most of the time screwing around anyway. Maybe when I get into a little more of a panic mode it will work a little bit better. > I went to bed at 1:00 am and didn't get out of bed till 9:00 am. I'm impressed with myself. Great! There's 8 hours right there. Of course, I'll bet the dogs didn't let you sleep a solid 8 hours. > Don't write back until you feel like you've accomplished some work. You don't want that; I might not write back for quite a while. Well, I think I'm headed up to Salt Lake to brave the crowds at Gart Bros. I'd better get moving before it gets any later. I might go see a movie or something while I'm up there. I'll probably have to endure more "Internet romance" shit from Nick and my brother. Oh, well. I guess if I didn't care what they thought I would just let them go ahead and think whatever they want to. But I'm afraid that they're skewing this in the wrong direction. Anyway, I'll check back when I get home. It might not be until fairly late, though. Talk to you then Jason - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 52 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sun, Dec 08, 1996, 01:05 AM (EST) To: Jason From: Norah Subject: Re: Weekend plans! –Reply Hi there Jason, Things here are taking shape in this place, but very slowly. I can't believe how much crap I've thrown out today. But the best news of all is: All of my ex's things are gone too!!!! I feel like celebrating tonight. Too bad you couldn't be here. > I might have a few wrong impressions, I suppose. Like what?? I'm curious. > You sound like you might be thinking of something specific. Are you? Not really. It's just my insecurities again. No big deal. > … Holding back … Oh, boy. Something tells me I'm in for it now :-). Well… you asked for it! BTW, which one is the real Jason -- the one who writes, or the one on the phone? > I don't think you have to worry about scaring me off. I think you should worry more about the fact that I might take your flirting too seriously and get the wrong impression. Maybe you *should* take my flirting more seriously and what exactly would the wrong impression be?? Remember, you asked for it! > Cooking food or cooking "something up together"? Or both? Maybe both - who knows? All I know is that I like you a lot, but you may not feel the same. Either way - it's ok. > … virtual kiss… Yes, I am thinking about you, a lot of the time. Every time some self-destructive insecure thought gets into my head I just remember how sweet and supportive you are, and I feel a lot better. Of course, I don't only think about you when I'm depressed. Good. I wouldn't want to be considered a therapist and nothing more. I'd be hurt. > … leaving notes for each other… It might be cute, but it would be a poor substitute for actually talking to each other. Extremely poor. > Just to clarify: exactly what is that I have to want to do before you'll let me use the computer? I originally meant playing games on the computer, but I think your interpretation seems to be a lot more fun. > Maybe when I get into a little more of a panic mode it will work a little bit better. Hmmmm! The man works best under pressure. You shouldn't have told me that! > There's 8 hours right there. Of course, I'll bet the dogs didn't let you sleep a solid 8 hours. I think I may have been in a coma. I'm sure the dogs tried to bug me, but I was oblivious to all. > I'll probably have to endure more "Internet romance" shit from Nick and my brother. Oh, well. I guess if I didn't care what they thought I would just let them go ahead and think whatever they want to. But I'm afraid that they're skewing this in the wrong direction. What is the wrong direction? > Anyway, I'll check back when I get home. It might not be until fairly late, though. It's never too late for you! Are you regretting asking me to not hold back?? I suppose that I should get back to the work that I've created here. Hope you had a good night. Talk to you later, Norah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 53 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Norah's Musings 