Sun, Nov 17, 1996, 01:24 PM (EST) {Eastern Standard Time}
To: The Dakota Mailing List[1], [2]
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Weather
Speaking of weather: Now that all the white stuff is arriving, I don't feel like shoveling the stuff out of the back of the truck. Does anyone have any ideas about a cover for the back? I don't want to spend a lot as I'm trading it in next year, unless I can remove it and put it on the new one???
I did entertain the thought of leaving the snow in, making a snow man, and driving around with it in the back.
Norah
'95 Dakota Sport, 4x2 Club Cab, V6, 3.9L, black
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To: The Dakota Mailing List
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Weather
> Speaking of weather: Now that all the white stuff is arriving, I don't feel like shoveling the stuff out of the back of the truck. Does anyone have any ideas about a cover for the back? I don't want to spend a lot as I'm trading it in next year, unless I can remove it and put it on the new one???
Depends on your definition of a lot of money. I just got a Covercraft[3] soft tonneau cover for $183 US. It uses aluminum rails that clamp to the bed. All other tonneau covers I found were either the velcro kind (you have to sticky-tape velcro to your truck, plus I'm not confident it's going to stay put on the freeway) or the metal snap kind (you have to drill holes in your truck for the snaps). The Covercraft will come right off and requires no modification other than a possible scratching of the paint up underneath the bed rails where the clamps were. I can still raise and lower my tailgate with it installed, and I can remove just the rail that goes over the tailgate by pulling two pins. It also included two support bows. As long as the new truck has the same dimensions around the edge of the bed as the old one, it will move over without any problems. (BTW, if anybody wants it, the part number for the vinyl cover that fits the short bed is TY4152.)
I suppose I should mention that I don't work for Covercraft, nor am I affiliated with them in any way. I just bought one of their covers and have been fairly impressed with it.
> I did entertain the thought of leaving the snow in, making a snow man, and driving around with it in the back.
I would like to see a big rams-head logo sculpted out of snow riding around in the back of a Dakota.
-- Jason
Psi Corps is your friend. Trust Psi Corps.
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To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Weather
> Depends on your definition of a lot of money. I just got a Covercraft soft tonneau cover for $183 US.> I would like to see a big rams-head logo sculpted out of snow riding around in the back of a Dakota.
I don't think that I'm that artistic, but I can try. Thanks for the info.
> -- Jason> Psi Corps is your friend. Trust Psi Corps.
(Psi Corps... must be a Babylon 5[4] fan).
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 3 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Mon, Nov 18, 1996, 09:57 AM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Weather -Reply
>> I would like to see a big rams-head logo sculpted out of snow riding around in the back of a Dakota.
> I don't think that I'm that artistic, but I can try. Thanks for the info.
I wouldn't even know where to begin, but if you manage to make one that looks good, upload a picture of it to the web site :-).
> (Psi Corps... must be a Babylon 5 fan).
I'm impressed, you're the first person to recognize that. Usually when I explain to someone that it's part of Babylon 5, I next have to explain what Babylon 5 *is*.
Sorry, no signature this time. Our mail program at work doesn't seem to have that feature. That or it's too friendly and easy for me to figure out. The problem with being a programmer is that I would rather re-build some configuration file someplace than click on a button in a setup dialog. So, my computer skills appear to be declining as computers get friendlier.
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To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer???
>> (Psi Corps... must be a Babylon 5 fan).> I'm impressed, you're the first person to recognize that. Usually when I explain to someone that it's part of Babylon 5, I next have to explain what Babylon 5 *is*.
Jason,
I'm sending this directly to you as the group might start getting annoyed if I get sidetracked.
I think most computer people are sci-fi fanatics, but the truly special ones like Dakota's too. Shhh, don't tell the others or their feelings will be hurt.
Planning on seeing the new Star Trek[5] movie this weekend???
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To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer???
Forgot to mention that I work with IBM AS/400's[6]. They can become an obsession too.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 6 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Tue, Nov 19, 1996, 02:22 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer??? -Reply
> I'm sending this directly to you as the group might start getting annoyed if I get sidetracked.
You're probably right. I guess it is a Dakota mailing list, and not a "things Dakota owners are interested in along with Dakotas" mailing list.
> I think most computer people are sci-fi fanatics, but the truly special ones like Dakota's too. Shhh, don't tell the others or their feelings will be hurt.
Why, thank you. Unfortunately, I think it's a little late not to tell the other computer people about Dakotas. I've told everybody I work with that if they do anything to really annoy me, I'll park my Dak on top of their cars (I wouldn't ever do anything like that, and they know I wouldn't, but I have a reputation to try to maintain). I think they got the message that I think my truck is far cooler than any mere car.
Scott Adams[7] has a few paragraphs in his book "The Dilbert Principle" dedicated to explaining why all engineers love Star Trek. Not only is it futuristic and gadgety, but the engineers in the show are portrayed as heroes who often get to save the ship, sometimes get to save the universe, and occasionally get to have sex with aliens. I think Adams is right. I grew up thinking I could probably do Scotty's job at least as well as he does. If not Scotty's, I could definitely do Spock's job.
> Planning on seeing the new Star Trek movie this weekend???
Absolutely. When the last one came out, one of my friends told me that if you don't go see the new Trek movie on the opening weekend, they have to take away your computer. I just hope that "First Contact" is better than "Generations". (I really can't stand Shatner.) The only problem is that I'm so engrossed with Babylon 5 now that I'm getting spoiled for Trek. I'm almost as excited about each weekly episode of B5 as I am about the new Trek movie.
> Forgot to mention that I work with IBM AS/400's. They can become an obsession too.
Of course. The important thing is to find something obsessive to do for a living where they pay you money to do something you wanted to do in the first place. Now if I could just get a job as a member of a sample test audience for new episodes of Babylon 5...
So, since you live in Canada, I have to find out if you're a fan of the rock band Rush[8]. One doesn't necessarily imply the other, but there seems to be a much higher percentage of Rush fans among Canadians than among Americans. I'm just curious to see if the trend holds.
(So, I guess you've noticed my bad habit of writing long-winded e-mail messages without any serious content. Hope you're not too annoyed, irritated, aggravated, bored, frustrated or otherwise fed up with me. 🙂
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 7 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Tue, Nov 19, 1996, 06:00 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer??? –Reply
I sold my manager on getting a Dakota. Him and his wife are going shopping this weekend. I guess I go on and on so much about mine, he had to test drive one to find out what I was raving about. I grew up with trucks as my dad was a trucker with his own business. Most people find it strange that women like trucks, but I guess I'm strange and proud of it. I have a fair reputation for trucks at work as well now.
> … and occasionally get to have sex with aliens.
I don't know about sex with aliens though. Some of them look pretty strange!! Mind you, who knows what lurks behind Kosh's environment suit.
> If not Scotty's, I could definitely do Spock's job.
Spock was my idol growing up. I thank his character for my interest in computers and telecommunications. I now work for communications company and have the best of both worlds. Then my hero became Data. My friends think it's a little strange that my heroes are cold and unemotional. I told them because they are my opposite and I always wished I could be a little more like them.
> Planning on seeing the new Star Trek movie this weekend???
Unfortunately, I can't go this weekend, as we're doing major implementations at work, and I have to be there to put out the "fires". Shatner is a typical Canadian that made it big and became a snot and doesn't acknowledge his roots.
> So, since you live in Canada, I have to find out if you're a fan of the rock band Rush.
Rush used to play at our high school when they were nobodies, so I never became a true fan. My favorites are Pink Floyd[9], Queen[10], etc. A true Rock 'n Roller. Blues comes in a pretty close second (Excuse the Canadian spelling - favourites.)
> (So, I guess you've noticed my bad habit of writing long-winded e-mail messages…
As you may have noticed, I too can become quite long-winded, and would never get fed up. I enjoy sending and receiving mail. One of my hobbies is creative writing - so this is an area I love, so feel free to keep writing.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 8 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Tue, Nov 19, 1996, 10:33 PM MST
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer???-Reply
> Most people find it strange that women like trucks, but I guess I'm strange and proud of it.
Believe me, I don't find it strange that women like trucks. I live in Orem, Utah. The city apparently likes to think it's still a rural farm area. I see many women piling their twelve kids into huge Ford[11] F350 trucks with dual rear wheels, crew cabs (4 full doors) and diesel engines. Today, I saw a woman driving a cement truck, chewing on a cigarette, and yelling at someone on her CB. In fact, I think you need to learn to drive a manual transmission, even if you don't have one. Or was that someone else who recently said she could only drive automatics?
Anyway, I used to drive a Dodge Neon[12]. I tell everybody that I had to buy a four-wheel drive because I felt that my masculinity was threatened by the fact that women around here drive manlier vehicles than I did. In reality, I decided that my dad's 1971 Jeep CJ5 was not the answer to my off-road adventures. It's great once you get it off road, but you have to tow it there since it doesn't go freeway speeds. You also have to spend about 45 minutes fixing on it every time you go to start it, since it's rusting apart and leaks every fluid it holds. My dad bought it brand new, and it's been a great vehicle, but the fact remains that it's older than I am and needs to be retired. The Dakota takes about two minutes to go from driveway to hitting the road headed for the mountains.
> I don't know about sex with aliens though. Some of them look pretty strange!! Mind you, who knows what lurks behind Kosh's environment suit.
One word: Delenn.
Of course, there's also Kira Noriese and Jadzia Dax on Deep Space 9 and Belanna Torres on Voyager. They're all aliens (and who knows if I've spelled their names correctly). Lusting after fictional characters on science fiction television shows isn't very healthy, but it sure is fun.
Sorry. Guess the fact that I'm only 23 is showing through. Although my mom tells me I've been 40 since I was 12. Whatever that means.
> Spock was my idol growing up… Then my hero became Data.
Same here, Spock and Data. Also, Geordi LaForge. His sense of humor reminds me of my own. Of course, I could say the same thing about Michael Garibaldi, Susan Ivanova, Lennier and Londo Mollari. The characters on B5 are too real (flawed) to really idolize, though. Maybe "sympathize with" or "relate to".
I idolize the unemotional characters because that's sort of what I'm like. I've had strangers tell me I remind them of Spock, at which point I thanked them profusely. Other than my wise-ass sarcastic sense of humor, I may as well be Vulcan.
> Star Trek movie… Unfortunately, I can't go this weekend.
Ah, yes, the if-you're-awake-you're-at-work schedule. I should be on it now, but I'm going to wait until next week.
The main reason I can't stand Shatner is that I don't think he could act his way out of a paper bag. I had forgotten that he was a Canadian. That surprises me to hear you say that's typical for him to become a snot. The few times I've been in Canada, the one thing that I've consistently noticed is that the people are much friendlier than they are in the US. Even Alaska is no exception. You can tell the minute you cross over the border into Alaska, because the customs agents are American power-intoxicated jerks who search every piece of luggage you're carrying and leave your belongings all over the ground instead of the pleasant helpful type you find crossing into Canada.
I've been to Calgary and Vancouver and went through Edmonton and up into Whitehorse on the way to Alaska, but I've never made it over to Toronto. What's it like? I was too young to really remember Calgary. I really liked Vancouver and Whitehorse (the whole Yukon, actually). Having been raised in the Rocky Mountains and looking forward to Alaska, I wasn't impressed with Edmonton during the four days we were stuck there watching it rain. It's bloody flat. I found a T-shirt which read "Edmonton Mountain Bicycling Association", which I found endlessly amusing, as there aren't even any hills to bike on, let alone anything which qualifies as a mountain.
[Canadian]
(At least you don't type "eh?" after every other sentence.)
> Rush used to play at our high school when they were nobodies, so I never became a true fan.
Back when they were nobodies, they probably still had Rutsey on drums. I don't blame you. After their first big-label record, they fired him and brought Neil Peart on board, who absolutely made the band (read: the first album sucks; farm animals could have written better lyrics).
Let me give you some idea how much of Rush fans my brother and I are. This weekend, we're making the almost 400 mile (each way) trek down to Las Vegas to see them in concert. They skipped Salt Lake last time, and we're not taking that chance again. I'm not taking the Dakota, though. It has the ultra-low gear ratio, so it turns 2600 rpms at 70 mph. The speed limit down there is 75. I don't want to spin my motor that fast for that long. That plus the gas mileage convinced me to just get a rental car. We'll just fly down at about Mach 2 and I won't have to care about prematurely wearing out the engine.
> My favorites are Pink Floyd, Queen, etc. A true Rock 'n Roller. Blues comes in a pretty close 2nd.
Personally, my music tastes went through a rock phase, a heavy metal phase, an alternative phase, a classical phase, a blues phase, and a jazz phase. Everything but country and rap. I mostly listen to "alternative" lately, but I try to stay pretty balanced.
Well, I brought my work home so I could get something done tonight. So much for that idea. My brain's turned to mush anyway.
Talk to you later.
-- Jason
Psi Corps is your friend. Trust Psi Corps.
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Wed, Nov 20, 1996, 06:27 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer??? -Reply
> Believe me, I don't find it strange that women like trucks. I live in Orem, Utah.
I can tell you that I've only seen one other woman Dakota person in Toronto. I'm sure there are a few, but even the one I spoke to said it was her dad’s. Half of Toronto (just guessing) is yuppie-ville and like Grand Cherokee's. Most of the women that drive trucks, like you say - piling their twelve kids into huge Ford F350 trucks with dual rear wheels, crew cabs (4 full doors) and diesel engines.. Sorry, that's not my style, so I tend to speak mostly with men.
> Today, I saw a woman driving a cement truck, chewing on a cigarette, and yelling at someone on her CB.Not very feminine!!
> In fact, I think you need to learn to drive a manual transmission, even if you don't have one. Or was that someone else who recently said she could only drive automatics?What a memory - yes that was me. My dad tried to teach me once when I lived with him in northern BC. What a joke. He took me out on the Alaska highway and there was an RCMP[13] officer following behind (who just happened to be a friend of my dad's). Needless to say - it didn't go. I was so nervous - I kept stalling and messing up. Dad said I was hopeless with a standard. I'm a very quick learner with everything else - so I guess I have to find someone with patience to teach me properly.
> Anyway, I used to drive a Dodge Neon.
Had one as a loaner but didn't like it. After driving trucks, I feel like I can't see the road. I've always had a passion for Corvettes[14]. In fact, I have many framed pictures of the '63 split window up on my walls. After driving a few, I decided I had better stick with my Dakota. It felt like I was below ground level.
> I felt that my masculinity was threatened by the fact that women around here drive manlier vehicles than I did.
Sounds like that "Fragile male ego" thing.
> Sorry. Guess the fact that I'm only 23 is showing through. Although my mom tells me I’ve been 40 since I was 12. Whatever that means.
Only 23! You don't write like that. Well, all I'll say is that I'm in my 30's, recently separated and loving it. I never realized how much fun it is to be single. I have dinner dates for Thursday and Friday night along with a lunch date on Saturday. Now I surround myself with great friends & my e-mail buddies. I think I'll put relationships on the back burner till my wounds heal. Mind you, I've made a great friend at the company’s US location in Kansas City who is coming up to Toronto in January to see me. We'll see what happens then.
> I may as well be Vulcan.
Don't be too Vulcan - you'll scare women off. Sense of humor (look I spelt it your way) is the most important thing in a relationship next to honesty.
> The main reason I can't stand Shatner…
Most Canadians that make it big in the US don't like to admit they are Canadian. It's as if they would look inferior. There's a guy on a major network news program call Johnathan Roberts. A few years ago, he had long hair, was known as JD Roberts, and hosted "Much Music[15]" (the Canadian version of MTV). You'd never know it now though.
> The few times I've been in Canada, the one thing that I've consistently noticed is that the people are much friendlier than they are in the US.
It's in our nature. Every time I talk to our US division, they can't figure out why I say thank-you so much. I don't really know why.
> I've been to Calgary and Vancouver and went through Edmonton and up into Whitehorse on the way to Alaska, but I've never made it over to Toronto. What's it like?
I've lived in Northern BC, Vancouver, Montreal, and Edmonton. I worked for IBM in Edmonton and learned a hell of a lot there, but it's great to be back home again. We have approx. 4 million people (including the surrounding areas). There's always something to do. A lot of stuff is open 24 hours. I play pool a lot and if I get bored and can't sleep at 2:00 am, I get in the DAK and drive to the club, play a few games, and come home to bed.
> (At least you don't type "eh?" after every other sentence.)
I have caught myself on more than one occasion using "eh?". It's a terrible habit and I don't even like to hear myself use it. But then, everyone in our company’s US division uses "Y'ALL" which makes me giggle.
> driving to Las Vegas…
I drove my '93 Dakota from Edmonton to Toronto - fully loaded when I moved back. It was a very long trip - but she handled beautifully. Took me 10 days, but I camped all the way with my dogs. It was fun but I wouldn't repeat it.
[music tastes]
I'm the same. I have no use for country and rap. I've been listening to a lot of 'alternative' as well. I have a liking for Stabbing Westward[16], Bush[17], Moist[18], etc.
Well, it 6:30 am and I have to get ready for work. It was great talking to you. Bye for now.
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Thu, Nov 21, 1996, 10:35 AM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer??? -Reply -Reply
[vehicle trends]
I'm originally from Salt Lake City, which is about 50 miles to the north of Orem. Oh, wait, I've got my nerd-requisite HP calculator here, so I can convert that to 80.5 km. Anyway, Salt Lake has its share of yuppies, with a few rednecks. Orem and Provo are heavier on the redneck population. There are still lots of Grand Cherokees, though. The big difference is that around here, you're more likely to see a Grand Cherokee covered in mud from a day of four-wheeling.
>> Today, I saw a woman driving a cement truck, chewing on a cigarette, and yelling at someone on her CB.> Not very feminine!!
That's what I was thinking. She was even more entertaining than the Harley Davidson women I see from time to time. Any fragile male ego I might have had has all been shattered by now, and I'm left with the indestructible part that doesn't really care anymore. I just have to tell myself, “That woman could probably bench-press me and break me over her knee, but I'll bet she can't build a working computer out of spare parts." Small consolation, but I'll take what I can get.
[learning to drive manual transmission]
My brother and I learned in my dad's Jeep. It has a standard three-speed plus a separate shifter for the overdrive, which gives about a half of a gear difference. You get six gears, but you have to mess around with two shifters to get them. I guess he figured that if we could drive the Jeep we could drive anything this side of a dump truck.
> … I decided I had better stick with my Dakota. It felt like I was below ground level.
I've adjusted to the Dakota. At first I felt like I was looking out a second story window, but I don't notice it anymore. It will be interesting to see what I think of this rental car. The place I'm renting from actually has a Neon, and I'll probably end up with it.
I do miss driving really fast through the turns, though. I'm afraid that in the spring I'm going to end up buying a Miata or a motorcycle to go along with the Dakota.
> Only 23!
Most people are more willing to believe that I'm 27 than that I'm really 23. Which is exactly the image I try to project. I categorically deny ever having been a teenager.
I guess if you haven't been single for a while, it could be kind of fun. I'm starting to get pretty sick of it. All the Mormons[19] around here get married when they're about 19, or if not, immediately after returning from their missions (age 21). I'm seen as a confirmed bachelor because I've waited so long to get married that all of the women are already taken. My opinion is that none of these people have a very good grasp of reality. They're my age, they have one kid with another on the way, and their lives are pretty much over. Whatever makes them happy, I guess.
> Don't be too Vulcan - you'll scare women off.
That might explain a few things. I'm trying to avoid whining about how awful my life is, but the fact of the matter is that, given the fact that Vulcans only become sexually active once every seven years, I guess I only have two more years to wait.
Sorry. Enough self-pity.
> Sense of humor is the most important thing in a relationship next to honesty.
Well, I have the engineer attribute of being brutally honest. I met a girl at a party a few weeks ago and she said, "oh, hi, we've met, remember me?" It didn't occur to me to be tactful and say, "Oh, yeah, your name is, um, Michelle?" at which point she would have said, "no, Beth" and realized I had no idea who she was, but I was at least making an effort to be polite.
No. What occurs to me is to be honest and say, "sorry, but I have no idea who you are." Not a big deal, since she was there with her boyfriend / fiancé / husband (not sure which) and wasn't really my type anyway. It's just sort of interesting how my brain works.
Besides that, I've always thought that the most important thing women looked for in a man was several really high-limit credit cards :-).
[population]
The entire state of Utah just hit two million. We have all of the drawbacks (crowds, traffic, pollution) and there's still never anything going on. The only things in Orem that are open at 2:00 am are grocery stores and 7 Elevens. Salt Lake is the same way. The bars (in Salt Lake -- there are none here) close at about 1:30, because the state forbids the sale of alcohol past 1:00 am. Given this, I like to get out into the mountains away from all the people (hence the 4x4 truck). The only problem is that everybody else tries to do the same thing. We can't all get away from each other if we're all headed to the same spot.
[Canadian accents]
I like "eh?". I also like "oot and aboot". Every time the president dips in the polls and considers invading some poor third-world country to make himself more popular, my brother and I start practicing our Canadian accents in case they start up the draft again and we have to move.
The thing that Americans (and possibly Canadians?) do that drives me insane is "like,". People never actually do anything with anybody, but they like, do like, things and like, stuff with like, their like, friends and other like, people. That and "What... Ever."
Well, I guess I'd better, like, get back to work and, like, get some stuff done. Like, talk to you later.
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Fri, Nov 22, 1996, 12:11 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Like Hi!!
[fragile male ego]
The brain is the most seductive part of a person. Don't sell yourself short.
[learning to drive]
When I first moved out to live with my dad in Fort Nelson, BC (1000 miles north of Vancouver), he got me a summer job working at the Natural Gas Processing plant. Again, I was the only female there and at 17, was in my glory. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to drive and on the first day of work, wearing coveralls, work boots and hard hat, was given the keys to a Ford F150 and told to bring it around. I told them, don't know how to drive, and have no license. All he said was take your time, you'll figure it out. It took me 4 hours, but I taught myself how to drive. Have been in love with trucks ever since.
If my dad were alive today, he'd be so proud of my choice in trucks. Black, 4x2, V6, Heavy Duty package, anti-spin, a/c, club cab. Not an ounce of chrome, everything (bumpers, back of mirrors, etc. is solid black). Rims are alum., same as Kuk's (on the web page). Only color (look - spelt the US way again), on it is grey and purple pin stripping and my added decal on the doors that say BLACK ICE in sparkles. I take extreme care of it, and it shows. After 14 months, I only have 15,000 km on it (too tired to calculate to miles). I don't think that I say this because it's mine, but in the parking lot at work - it seems to stand out. Except of course, my friend at work who has a Toyota[20] 4runner that's been modified to the hilt (barely street legal). His is black too and we seem to control the lot. Sorry, I'm rambling again.
> I categorically deny ever having been a teenager.
My teen years are a little blurry and I want to keep it that way.
[single and non-Mormon in Utah.]
Don't sell yourself short and don't rush into anything. Everything that's meant to be, will be. You just have to have patience. Oh my God, I'm starting to sound like a therapist. STOP ME BEFORE I SCREW UP SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE!!
Seriously, you always find someone when you're not looking. If you ever come up to Toronto, I introduce you to all the pretty girls from work.
> What occurs to me is to be honest and say, "sorry, but I have no idea who you are."
Honesty! Haven't heard that from a man in a long time. What planet do you come from?? Sorry, I'm still going through my "Trust no one" stage. Ooops, X-Files[21] snuck out. Since my husband, "salesman/con-artist of the year" messed me up, I've been very leery of most people. It's hard to trust my usually good instincts about people now because I really misjudged him. Never held a steady job and lived off me for a long time. Then got bored and left me for an older woman, on welfare with two kids and whose bulimic. Did a number on my head as I always thought people left for something better? Problem was he couldn't handle being with a woman that was smart and good-looking. Too insecure and needed a woman who looked up to him. Sorry for spilling all this crap on you, but you're really easy to talk to and I treat you as a friend now. Anyway, I'm recovered, seen the light, and better than I ever was before. People at work keep telling me to wipe that smirk off of my face, you're driving us crazy! Can't help it, my life is just starting, and I feel great.
There are only three things that can really hurt me now -- 1) hurt my dogs, 2) touch my new Aptiva PC, and 3) mess with my truck. Other than those, I can handle most anything now.
> Besides that, I've always thought that the most important thing women looked for in a man was several really high-limit credit cards :-).
Unfortunately, a lot of women are like that in Canada and the States. You have to select very, very carefully. Aim a little higher - women in higher positions that make a good living on their own and don't need your "really high-limit credit cards". Find one that has her own "really high-limit credit cards", but make sure you're her equal. No woman or man wants to be dominated or felt like they aren't on your level. STOP ME, I'M DOING IT AGAIN.
> I like to get out into the mountains away from all the people, hence the 4x4 truck...
I used to go camping etc. a lot. I love the outdoors. The only problem I'm having lately are that most of my friends aren't single anymore and it's hard to drag them out. I've just recently found the courage to go play pool by myself and I even went to a bar by myself last week. I was smart though - I took my notebook, sat at the bar, and did a lot of writing. I just wanted to be with people, and I didn't want anyone to start in on me or think I was there for any other reason than to be out and have a drink or two or three, etc. Did it once, but I don't know if I can do it again. Chicken-shit!!
> I like "eh?". I also like "oot and aboot"… Canadian accents…
Oot and aboot??? Don't forget, Toronto is east, and we don't really have accents here. When I worked in Edmonton, they said I talked funny. I have a hard time telling the difference between my accent and what I hear on American TV. The western provinces are very anti-east. They think we have too much - that's because we've worked for it, and we have the population. Buffalo is just south of us, and I have noticed a difference in their accents, but only certain words.
> … drives me insane is "like,". That and "What... Ever."
Like really?? Like, like I know what you like mean. Where the hell did this like-crap come from. It sends shivers down my back when I hear it. A lot of rappers talk this way too. I think it's a sign of a lack of education. Not that I'm that well-educated, but I've done enough to know better. Like, you know what I mean? What… Ever!!
Anyway, it's 12:30 and I have to go to bed - gotta get up at 5:00 am to do the dog duties.
Talk to ya later.
Norah
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 12 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Fri, Nov 22, 1996, 06:14 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Another Hi?
Hey Jason,
Was just wondering - your last name sounds French. Is it??
Lucky you, being able to access Internet at work. We have it too, but for some reason - I can't get in. Maybe they know better and kept me off.
We're upgrading one of our 7 AS/400's from CISC to RISC this weekend and I guess I got the short straw and I'm on call all weekend. Only problem with this is everyone's new and I know I'm going to be paged a lot. This restricts my weekend activities a great deal. Can't solve problems when you've had too much or are hung-over, so I'm playing it cool this weekend. Yeah - I don't normally do too much of that anyway.
Just thought I'd send you a quick note in case you got bored this weekend and want to talk - I'll be here.
Have a good day.
Norah
PS. If you get really bored in Mormon-Ville - you can always call me and talk to a real person. See ya and don't work too hard because I'll be looking after that department.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 13 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Fri, Nov 22, 1996, 08:34 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Like Hi, eh?
Howdy.
You know, I started saying "howdy" to make fun of the rednecks around here who said "howdy". Now I'm a person who says "howdy". I'm afraid I'm also a person who says "like," but I'm trying to quit. (Maybe they need a patch for that.)
I'm afraid that some of these messages are going to choke our mail server. Instead of quoting your entire message, I'll cut some parts out and tell you what part I'm responding to. You do remember what you were talking about, don't you?
> The brain is the most seductive part of a person. Don't sell yourself short.
I can believe that, assuming that you and the person you're trying to seduce / be seduced by both have a good mind. However, I've been told by a couple of women that they found me intimidating because I was so smart. I knew a girl in high school who was a complete genius, yet she pretended to be just another "ditzy chick" so she could get dates. (Not that she needed to do that -- every guy I know who's seen her thinks she's gorgeous.) I can't pretend to be dumber than I am because I lose all self-respect.
> … moved to Fort Nelson, BC
I'm pretty sure we went through Fort Nelson when we flew up to Alaska. The name sounds familiar, anyway.
< … wearing coveralls, work boots and hard hat
Speaking of feminine... 🙂
> learning to drive a Ford by doing it
Wow, quick study. It took me quite a lot more time than that to figure out how to get the Jeep moving. Of course, the fact that my dad was sitting there constantly giving instructions and making me nervous didn't help. I didn't want to drive his "first child" into a ditch or anything.
> Have been in love with trucks ever since.
Well, I just realized how attached I am to mine. I got the Nissan[22] I'll be driving down to Vegas this weekend. I hate it already. I feel like I'm driving a go-kart. I would take the Dakota, but I put it in a lower gear so I could hear the engine at freeway rpms without the wind noise, and it sounds like it's working really hard to keep 75 mph (120 kph). I like my truck too much to put it through that for nine hours straight on two days in a row.
> all about your Dakota
Sounds like a beautiful truck. I'm glad to hear there's no chrome, since I'm allergic to it (well, not really, but I wish I were so I would have an excuse to avoid it). Mine is a white '95 Sport regular cab 4x4, V6, 5 speed, no a/c (hopefully to be remedied in spring). I've only had it since the first of September. I didn't really choose it as much as it chose me. I had had the four-wheel-drive disease since spring and was looking around for something I could afford. My first choices were either a Dakota or a Jeep Cherokee (the one that looks like a box, not the Grand). There were almost no Dakotas in the paper or any of the used vehicle circulars. Those I did see disappeared immediately. Jeeps were a little out of my price range. I was looking around at other pickups -- Nissan, Mazda[23], Toyota, and Ford mainly (no Chevys for sale either). Mostly I wanted to see if I could live with one of them. I went into a dealership in Salt Lake to test out a Ford Ranger (it was a piece of junk) and when I got back, I turned around and saw this big white Dodge up on an elevated platform (I think it spoke to me). I asked how much it was, and the sales doofus told me it was the same price as the Ford. It was actually a thousand more dollars than he told me, but they gave me a thousand more for the Neon than I was expecting.
The previous owner was apparently some sort of cowboy. He smoked in it (blech), and he had a bunch of little "Bad Boy Club" and assorted mean growly face stickers all over it. I pulled them all off -- not really my style. It also has a "moon visor" over the cab, with some orange lights in it to make it look like a junior semi. This I wouldn't have added myself as it serves no real purpose, but it doesn't look too bad. (My motto is "function over fashion".) It had 17,500 miles (over 28,000 km) on it when I got it. I'm almost up to 21,000 (33,800 km). Since my parents and most of my friends are in Salt Lake, I drive up there between one and three times every weekend.
I have a picture of it if you're interested in checking it out. It's in JPEG format. You can FTP my address and check out my truck. I was thinking of uploading this pic to the mailing list web site, but then decided to wait until I get the new bigger tires on it.
And *you* were worried about rambling?
> Don't sell yourself short…
Actually, the advice I need to be listening to is what my friends keep telling me: "Don't be such a chicken shit, just go over there and talk to her." Right, no problem. Now I just need to convince my feet.
> Honesty! Haven't heard that from a man in a long time. What planet do you come from??
Vulcan, remember?
> leech of a husband
Ouch. Every time I start thinking that women are spiteful, manipulative and not to be trusted, I hear a story like yours that reminds me that men are the same way. Sounds to me like you're much better off without him.
> Problem was he couldn't handle being with a woman that was smart…
I had a friend just like that. Everybody hated his girlfriend. His mom called this girl "bucket of hair" because that's how smart she was. She wasn't at all attractive or nice either. We concluded that he just couldn't deal with smart women. Me, I would love to find someone as smart or smarter than I am. I just can't talk to dumb people. Not that I'm an elitist or anything... wait a minute, I guess I *am* an elitist. I can live with that.
Come to think of it, I haven't seen that guy in quite a while. Can't say I've missed him.
> Sorry for spilling all this crap on you…
Well, as long as we're being open, I might as well go into detail about my life. I've already alluded to it. This is going to sound really whiny and pathetic, but here goes...
I've had a total of one relationship in my life. Lasted just under a month, barely qualifying as a relationship. This was in November of 1991, my first quarter of college. She's the only girl I've ever kissed, and that's as physical as I've ever gotten with anyone. I can't seem to figure out why I'm so afraid to walk up to someone and ask her out. I used to think I was afraid of being turned down, but I suppose it's possible that I'm afraid she'll say "yes", and then what am I going to do? 🙂 I just get really self-conscious and nervous when I'm around women. I can't think of anything to say. I'm actually shy around anyone I don't know very well, it's just much worse when it happens to be an attractive woman.
Bleah. I know that what I need to do is just get over it and, like the shoe commercial says, "just do it". If I can survive the first stage, I'll be fine. Of course, there's still the challenge of finding anyone in Utah over the age of 18 who isn't married, but that's just difficult, not impossible.
> … lack of Toronto accents
I didn't realize you were that far east. For some strange reason, I had it in my head that Toronto was over near the north end of Lake Superior (no, Jason).
The accent is strongest up in the Yukon. I saw a movie called "Strange Brew[24]" a few years ago (apparently based on a TV show called "The McKenzie Brothers[25]") and thought they were really exaggerating the accents until I got up into the Yukon. It was all my brother, and I could do to keep from laughing. I like the accent, but it does sound a little comical at times.
> Like really?? Like, like I know what you like mean. Where the hell did this like crap come from.
California. Crap like this filters out of there and disperses around the rest of the nation. I've had a couple of previews of what they're doing down there now, and I'm going to have a hard time not strangling people during the next few years.
> Anyway, it's 12:30 and I have to go to bed….
Yeah, my cat thinks 5:00 is breakfast time. He starts walking on my head about that time. I make him wait until 6:00, but then I go back to bed for another hour.
Let's see, I've got another message here someplace...
> Was just wondering - your last name sounds French. Is it??
I don't think you're pronouncing it right. The 'e' is silent, and "Bleazard" rhymes with "hazard". It's English. My grandmother is into genealogy in a huge way, and I was helping her computerize it a few years ago. Apparently there's actually a Bleazard Castle near Bath, England. I don't know how big it is. She also tracked down the family crest.
Nobody gets that name right without coaching. If someone does, it always turns out that they know somebody else with the same name.
> … access Internet at work.
I wonder how long it'll take the company to figure out they should probably cut me off as well. Until they do, I'll keep using it.
Sounds like your weekend is planned for you. I'll probably be out of touch in Vegas until Tuesday. Have a good weekend on call and I'll e-mail you when I get back.
I would love to call and talk to you, but I had a rather nasty experience with the phone company recently. ATI Technologies is in Canada, and I didn't realize that they charge international rates until I spent a couple of hours on ATI's non-toll free technical support line during daylight hours. Talk about a huge phone bill. I'm pretty competent with computers, and I don't bother to call tech support unless it's a real mystery. To their credit, they're the only tech support people from whom I've ever learned anything I didn't already know, but they still couldn't figure out what was going on. I just ended up buying a newer ATI card to replace the one that didn't work.
Hey, you know, I came back to work tonight for a reason. I was going to try and get some work done, strange as that sounds.
Until later...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 14 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Sat, Nov 23, 1996, 03:07 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Like Hi, eh?
Hey Jason,
Hope you got a lot of time to read - I was in one of my lengthy e-mail moods. How was the concert?? Geddy still sound the same?? Meet any girls??
> I've been told by a couple of women that they found me intimidating because I was so smart.
Then you're talking to the wrong women.
> … I've had a total of one relationship in my life. Lasted just under a month.
So what! Many people are in the same boat. Relationships are not always what they're cracked up to be. Stop looking for intimacy and look for friendship first. Find a woman you can talk to and have fun with and become good friends. Everything else falls into place later. If you go out looking for a girlfriend, your expectations become hard to fill. They may have the looks, but not the personality, or the personality and not the looks. It's because you're trying to find someone to fill the job of girlfriend and it's not a job that can be filled with a resume of qualifications. But when you get to really know someone, you soon discover that looks are a very small part of a person, but of course it doesn't hurt.
> … afraid of rejection and self-esteem
Boy can I relate! When my ex and I split, my self-image, self-esteem and confidence flew right out the window. After therapy, I discovered that he systematically destroyed these qualities over time. Even though they were quite weak when we met. I never had enough confidence in myself to meet guys on my own level or higher. I always picked those far below me because it made me feel safe. I too, was one of the women that were scared off by men smarter than me. I didn't think I could measure up, so it was easier to go the opposite route. It couldn't have been further from the truth.
If 2 people can't talk and relate on the same level, there isn't much left except for resentment and usually leads to a co-dependent relationship. Trust me, I learned all this is therapy. I also learned how to visualize. She got me to visualize not what I want, but what I deserve. You play this tape over and over in your head and you naturally start attracting these types of people to you. Now my attitude is - I just don't give a crap (pardon me). I know who I am and where I'm coming from - if you don't like it, that's your problem and learn how to deal with it bud. It may sound conceited, but it's not. I'm not that great. I always used to worry about what people thought of me such as: hair (is it too long?), height (am I too short?), weight (should lose a few?), brains (am I smart enough?), etc., etc., etc. This has a lot to do with why I had a bad marriage.
This change in my attitude has attracted a lot of the right people. I get far too many offers at work from men who never noticed me before. Unfortunately, a lot of them are married and it's been difficult sorting it all out, so I've chosen not to bother with anyone. For now.
Bet you didn't think you'd get all this kind of advice when you originally e-mailed me back. Ha!! I think we've having a competition on who can write longer e-mail. I really don't know who's ahead now.
>> first day of work, wearing coveralls, work boots and hard hat,> Speaking of feminine... 🙂
Yah, yah, I know. My dad believed that it was important for me to learn as much about everything that I possibly could. He always told me never to count on other people to help you out with anything, learn to do it for yourself. I was an assistant corrosion technician at the gas plant and learned how to use tools properly, got over my fear of heights, how to drive and had a lot of fun. Mind you, I almost lost my life twice - that wasn't so much fun. It was only for 4 months - but what a learning experience.
> …. chrome on vehicles.
Who decided that chrome was a good thing??? I'd like to meet that person who has all this free time to polish and avoid all those ugly rust spots.
> your Dakota
Sounds nice too. I always wanted a 4x4 V8, but I don't feel like spending the extra money on the truck and the insurance. I don't know about there, but here they hit you hard with 4x4's.
> I didn't really choose it as much as it chose me.
My Dakota chose me as well, or should I say - was chosen for me. When I originally came back from Edmonton with my '93, I called the dealership and just casually inquired about trading it in for a '95. I never chose the '93, he did. It was blue and nice enough, but my heart really wasn't in it. I always wanted a black truck. The dealer took all the info and called me back - I told them no, as I was just inquiring and was satisfied with what I had. When I had an appointment to replace one of my rotors - the truck of my dreams was parked on the front lawn of the dealership all by itself (where there are never any vehicles parked). I had to drive by it to get to the service bay. Needless to say, I traded it in that day. They had specifically ordered the one I wanted and put it there the day I was coming in. Very good sales tactics, I must admit. My ex thought I was nuts to spend all this extra money etc. - but I finally got what I wanted. It was worth it to drive around proud and happy.
I was going to take pictures of it this weekend, but of course it's grey outside and we have snow/rain coming down hard. Figures, the only time it's nice out is when I'm at work.
> The previous owner was apparently some sort of cowboy. He smoked in it (blech)
Ooops! I smoke. The only bad habit I have left. Well, not really, but I'm not quitting till I'm ready. Too many people (my ex especially) nagged me and all it does is make me smoke more. I know it's a disgusting habit - but it's not that easy to give up. Peer pressure from high-school days.
> pictures of my Dakota
I tried checking it out, but I'm having a problem with my FTP. I keep getting error messages and I don't know enough about these little computers to try and figure it out myself. Problems at work with the bigger systems have stolen every logical thought and problem solving techniques I ever had. It will take a day or two for my brain to stop hurting.
> And *you* were worried about rambling?
Yes I am, I just can't seem to shut up.
> I didn't realize you were that far east...
On the shore of Lake Ontario.
> The accent is strongest up in the Yukon
Canadian movies, Canadian bands… I don't know - seems as if you like us up here.
> I would love to call and talk to you, but...
Your provider doesn't have a toll-free line?? OUCH!! I keep forgetting that not everyone works for a communications company and gets the perks. I get 75% off all my calls from home, but I never use my home service as I have a company phonecard, and they pay for everything. But one of these days they'll figure out that not all these calls are business-related. Until then - dial on. I also get these phonecards with limited time. I have a few of them floating around the house - I always forget to use them. Plus, most of my long distance calls to friends that have 1-800 numbers at work, and we use them a lot. If I ever find one of the cards on my desk of nightmares at home, I'll give you the number to dial for free service. That's if you still want to talk to me after finding out that I smoke??? Oh yeah - and I drink too!!
See ya,
Norah
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 15 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Tue, Nov 26, 1996, 03:36 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Like Hi, eh?
Hey Norah,
> Hope you got a lot of time to read - I was in one of my lengthy e-mail moods.
Always. It's not the reading that takes the time, it's the replying. And it's my own fault that takes so long because I'm such a perfectionist that I have to go through it three times.
> How was the concert?? Geddy still sound the same??
The concert was great. There was no opening band, just three hours of Rush. If you're asking if Geddy still sounds like a woman, he sure does. I thought he was a woman when I first heard him.
Las Vegas, on the other hand, is essentially a large gaping hole in the earth. It's nowhere nearly as neat as it looks in the movies (whatever is?).
> Meet any girls??
Nope. There was one right in front of us who was pretty cute, but she was married. There was another girl in the next section and about six or seven rows further down (this put her almost right between us and the stage) who we had a lot of fun watching. She was obviously a drummer, since she was not only playing "air drums" and keeping up with Neil, but she was hitting them all in the correct relative positions. She was having a ball through the whole show. We thought about trying to figure out a way to get her away from the skinny guy she was with but couldn't figure out a good reason to try other than just to see if we could.
>> I've been told by a couple of women that they found me intimidating because I was so smart.> Then you're talking to the wrong women.
Apparently. The next question is, "where do I find the right women, Norah?" Maybe I need to go hang around the medical school at the University of Utah and find a future doctor :-).
Actually, I am planning on going back to graduate school, where I'm hoping I should be able to find some really smart women with whom I share many interests. Remind me to tell you about grad school when I get a little more time.
> Stop looking for intimacy and look for friendship first. Find a woman you can talk to and have fun with and become good friends. Everything else falls into place later.
That sounds great, but in reality I usually get the "I don't want to mess up our great friendship" routine. I don't want to mess up the friendship either. Once you've been friends for a while anything more seems really weird. I guess that just means it wasn't "meant to be". There's got to be a middle ground someplace.
BTW, I just wanted to make sure you don't get the impression from my last mail that I sit around and dwell on how empty my life is because I don't have a significant other in it. I was just a little depressed about it the other night when I was writing you. Of course, I would love to find somebody, and it seems like I'm always looking around for potential prospects, but it's not my number one mission in life. I've known too many guys who define themselves in terms of how pretty their girlfriends are or how many phone numbers they can get at a party with no intention of ever calling any of them. I think I'm one of the very few people who would rather be single than settle for someone by whom I wasn't totally fascinated just for the sake of having someone.
> … bad marriage… low self-esteem…
How long were you and the ex married? How long ago did you split? Sounds like you went through some pretty tough times afterward. I get the impression that you've got a lot of confidence back, which is great. I hope you eventually find someone who can really appreciate you. If you ever stop enjoying the single lifestyle, that is.
Don't apologize for your language. You should hear the way I talk.
I have to admit, I do worry quite a bit about what people think of me. I think this is where my perfectionist streak comes from: if I can't do something perfectly, I don't want to do it because I might wind up looking silly trying. I'm a lot better with this than I used to be. My best friend in college was the same way. We created a new "religion" (why not call it that, since there are really only two religions in Utah: Mormon and miscellaneous). Our "Prime Directive" was: Don't be an asshole. Basically, this boiled down to our desire not to make annoyances of ourselves. We ended up just bending to whatever other people wanted a lot. He realized that this wasn't a good thing, and decided not to be self-centered, but just to start doing some things which were good for himself more often. We started from there and kept going. Now we sound like Dennis Leary a lot of the time: "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck them, and fuck you." It's mostly just talk, but I have realized that I have to stand up for myself because nobody else is going to.
> … married people
If they're married and they're giving you offers, something tells me they're not the right people. I steer clear of women who have steady boyfriends, let alone husbands. I look at it this way: if she leaves him for me, she was probably just staying with him until someone better came along. Who is to say she isn't going to do the same thing to me?
> Bet you didn't think you'd get all this kind of advice when you originally e-mailed me back.
No, but I was hoping. It's good to get the female point of view, since men (myself included) are idiots where relationships are concerned.
Not to change the subject or anything...
> … chrome on vehicles
There's that, but mostly I don't really like the way it looks. I think it's just gaudy. I prefer the low-profile flat black Darth Vader look. You can get away with a lot more if you're less conspicuous :-).
My insurance went up about seven dollars a month from the Neon for the same coverage. It's not terrible. Around town, I would like to have a club cab, the V8 and an automatic. 4x4 would be nice for snow, but not necessary. However, I bought my truck because I wanted to take it off road, and there I want the shorter wheelbase of the regular cab and the 5 speed to control descents. The V8 doesn't really buy that much off road, so the V6 is fine. I can put up with a little less comfort and convenience for 355 days out of the year if it means I can explore more places when I do get out into the mountains.
I think I shall need two pickups. And a Jeep. And a sports car. And a motorcycle, an airplane, a boat, and a huge garage to put it all in. Yes, rampant Western consumerism is alive and well in Utah, thank you very much.
[clever sales tactic]
They get you every way they can, don't they?
> … but I finally got what I wanted.
Everybody I know thinks I was nuts to trade in the Neon after little more than a year with it. I originally wanted a 4x4, but when I got the job in Orem and thought about driving one 145 km per day, I thought I should get something a little more efficient. My uncle was working at one of the local Dodge dealerships, so I just went with a fuel-efficient Dodge.
Actually, the introduction of the Neon was what started me thinking about getting a new car upon graduation. I had another year to go, so I spent it collecting as much information as I possibly could and test driving everything I could afford. By the time I was getting serious, it was down to either a 4x4 (Dakota or Cherokee) or a little sports car (Honda[26] Prelude, Mazda Miata[27], etc.). Every time somebody parked any of those next to my Neon, I kept thinking how much I wished I had one. I'm much happier now. Although I still want a Miata to drive on sunny days (but I'm not giving up my truck for one).
> … snow/rain coming down hard.
I sure wish it would snow here. I just bought this whole 4x4 truck and the weather isn't even going to let me try it out. It's been teasing me a little, but it's just been sunny and mild lately.
> Ooops! I smoke
I don't have a problem with smoking. I just didn't like the stale year-old smell of cigarettes in my new truck. I put an air freshener on the case, and it cleared right up.
Many of my friend’s smoke. I seem to have a really addictive personality, so I'm not going to try it. I think I would probably be hooked after about the second cigarette. Basically, it's an "I don't, but don't mind if you do" sort of thing. Also, my dad smoked up until I was about fourteen. I think that cured me of wanting to start.
[Canadian movies, Canadian bands...]
Not to mention the Red Green[28] Show. I love Canada. I also love England and their television (Monty Python[29], Dr. Who[30], Red Dwarf[31], Blackadder[32], Mr. Bean[33], Waiting for God[34], etc., etc.) The only American shows I have much patience for anymore are Star Trek and Babylon 5.
Speaking of Star Trek, the new movie is pretty cool. I'll probably see it a few more times. I did have to force myself to wait until the very end to start picking apart the plot holes, even though this one was much better than many. It's still entertaining, but I wish they would at least try to patch some of them. My disbelief only gets suspended so far.
I decided that I'm not nearly as big of a nerd as I previously thought. The entire theater was cheering the crew on, shouting encouragement, and chanting along with the clichés. Also, they had a preview for the re-release of the Star Wars series. Having grown up on Star Wars[35], I thought I was pretty excited about this until I heard the reaction of a theater full of real science fiction nerds.
Don't get me wrong. Nerds are great people. Most of us are honest to a fault and we all have things in common to talk about (computers, science fiction, trucks...). Yes, you too are a nerd. Admit it.
> Your provider doesn't have a toll-free line?? OUCH!!
I'm not sure what to think of that statement. By "provider" do you mean my long distance company, or something else? They might have a toll-free line for all I know. I never thought to try to find one. Now I want to.
> … long distance phone calls
I'm pretty sure that our 800 number here at work will only get you direct to technical support. That won't do you much good. At any rate, you have to go through the receptionists, and they're bound to notice that I'm getting personal calls on the 800 line. It's kind of hard to hide this sort of thing in a company that only employs 125 people. I like the small-company atmosphere, though.
If you have a way to call down here without spending a fortune, I’ll send you my number.
> That's if you still want to talk to me after finding out that I smoke and I drink too!!
Absolutely. Like I said, it doesn't bother me. I drink quite a bit, or at least I used to. I managed to make myself pretty sick back in March and still haven't recovered. I have a friend who drinks like a fish, and like an idiot, I try to keep up with him. When he says, "I'll bet I can drink twelve cold fusions faster than YOU!" I say, "I'm pretty sure I can't even drink twelve of those, but it'll be fun to find out!" I later had to ask the people I was with what drinks I had, because I can't remember. I spent the next day alternating between kneeling before the porcelain altar and sitting in my living room watching the sunlight coming through the window move across the floor, because that was the fastest thing I wanted to deal with. My addictive personality and I were starting to drink alone (not to get drunk, just a rum & coke or two) up until then, so it might be a good thing that I haven't been drinking as much. I guess I'm getting too old to drink like that. (That's just what you wanted to hear from a 23-year-old, isn't it? 🙂
All right. I'm going to have to get back to work eventually. I could keep this up for most of the day, but I really shouldn't. Talk to you later.
-- Jason
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 16 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Tue, Nov 26, 1996, 06:42 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Like Hi, eh?
Jason,
If you're still at work, e-mail me back.
I've done everything (except for work that I brought home) that I HAVE to do tonight so I wanted to give you a call, but I don't know what time.
Let me know.
Norah
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 17 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Tue, Nov 26, 1996, 04:47 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Like Hi, eh? -Reply
Yeah, I'm still here. I will be until at least 6:00 mountain time (it's quarter to five now.) Any time after 7:00 would be great. You're welcome to call before that, but you'll have to listen to me eating dinner.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 18 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Wed, Nov 27, 1996, 12:56 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Good Morning
Hi Jason,
You wanted mail - so be prepared. I will write till you get sick and tell me enough already!!!
Did you make your coffee before you went to bed??
I really enjoyed talking to you last night. You have a very pleasant voice on the phone. You seem very intelligent with a great sense of humor. I just wanted you to know that. By the way, you have a great laugh too. These are important qualities that will hold any woman's interest.
> don't get the impression from my last mail that I sit around and dwell on how empty my life is...
Trust me I don't! We all have bad days and I've had my share on the weekends. As I told you, that's my weakest time - when I'm home alone for too long. I've grown to depend on your e-mail to keep me company. Now it's my turn to possibly give you the wrong impression.
> I have to admit, I do worry quite a bit about what people think of me...
Well, you don't have to worry about what I think, because I think you're a great guy even though we've never met. Very few people can make me laugh, so you can take credit for that. Why are you still single? If I was a couple of years younger, I'd go after you myself. You're a cool guy. So there!
I'm looking at my desk again and wondering if this could possibly be my project for this weekend. OH GOD, I think it may have to be, I lost my cell phone under all this. I'll just have to call myself to find it.
I may not be organized with my desk, but you should see what I've done in Microsoft[36] Schedule+. I think I've planned out a whole year - even set reminders to take the garbage out. Pretty bad, don't you think? I almost said "EH".
Oh yes, I caught myself saying "EH" a couple of times last night. Did you catch them??? You didn't comment on it - I'm surprised!! Guess you didn't feel comfortable, possibly hurting my feelings.
> advice from me… No, but I was hoping. It's good to get the female point of view
Well, some men, but not all. Feel free to ask my point of view anytime and stop calling yourself an idiot. I don't associate with idiots. Well, I used to, but I've grown up a bit this year. So don't put yourself down because if you do it too much, even as a joke, your subconscious picks up on it. This I know, as I used to do it all the time myself.
> I prefer the low-profile flat black Darth Vader look. You can get away with a lot more if you're less conspicuous :-).
Why do you want to be less conspicuous? Doing any surveillance work??? Can't do it with my truck - daytime running lights.
> I decided that I'm not nearly as big of a nerd as I previously thought.
How could anyone who likes trucks and rock 'n roll be considered a nerd?? What exactly is a nerd?? Someone who likes computers and sci-fi? Well, that makes a large part of the population. I guess we are all nerds then.
> Don't get me wrong. Nerds are great people. Most of us are honest to a fault and we all have things in common to talk about (computers, science fiction, trucks...). Yes, you too are a nerd. Admit it.
I guess I don't have a choice - I'll join the general population of normal people/nerds.
In a previous e-mail, I mentioned to you about finding a girlfriend wasn't like applying for a job. I found something I wrote to a fellow employee. I guess you'll see that I put my foot in my mouth again. Read on...
*****************************
I would like to apply for the position of "friend". Please peruse my resume below:
PROFILE
Professional, with years of experience in friend-related fields.
STRENGTHS
Enthusiastic * Effective Listener & Talker * Diplomatic * Tactful * Able to give and take constructive criticism * Able to give advice if requested * Good judge of character * Excellent sense of humor
WEAKNESSES
Too honest * Too sensitive * unable to let go of friendships * Too giving * Sometimes procrastinate (not often) * don't like rejections (who does?)
PROFESSIONAL HISTORY
Have maintained long-lasting friendships (both male and female) from the many different jobs that I have held and outside interests.
INTERESTS
Hobbies include learning my PC (big surprise - but I'm not used to the little ones), Music, Science Fiction (another surprise - most computer people like SCI-FI), Astronomy, Photography, Oil Painting, Creative Writing (many poems and one novel in the works) and my most favorites are playing pool and driving my 95' Dodge Dakota Sport Club Cab V6. (Too bad working for my current job doesn't leave much time or energy for anything else but my PC, driving and playing pool. The dogs take up a lot of my time too.)
REFERENCES
Available upon request.
*****************************
So - do I get the job?????
Jason, STOP LAUGHING!!!
Gee, how long is this e-mail now?? Not long enough. Let's see. It's 12:50 a.m. and I still haven’t gone to bed. If I was more awake, I could make this much, much longer - but I know I'm going to pay tomorrow so I'm going to shut this PC down and be a good girl and go off to bed.
See ya.
Norah
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 19 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Wed, Nov 27, 1996, 02:54 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: You wanted mail??
Jason, Jason, Jason,
Well, I can only tell you that I was extremely tired today and it’s all your fault. Just kidding. I got up in time, but everything was happening in slow motion. I grabbed my coffee and off to work I went. Of all days, the 401 (the main highway that goes east/west) was closed due to what, I don’t know. But for some reason, everyone discovered my route to work. I never take the 401, as my route is faster -- 10-15 minutes and I’m there. Today it took over an hour and I averaged 15 kmh all the way. This was the pits.
Ok, I get in to work and everyone asks me why I’m so tired and quiet. I never gave anyone an answer, and they saw your phone number written on my cigarette pack. First thing Mick says to me is: "Who’s this Jason guy, where did you meet him and why are you so tired?" All I said was just a friend, never mind and up late. These guys are very protective of me and want to screen everyone I come into contact with.
I even caught one of them going through the 'company national directory' looking for anyone called Jason. I didn’t have the heart to ruin their fun, so I let them continue thinking whatever they want. I’ll burst their bubbles later. I’m going to have to be careful from now on - because if ever do meet anyone that I’m interested in, the poor guy is going to have to get their approval. They know what I went through, and my ex has been very lucky that he’s still in one piece. Their motto is "No One Hurts Our Norah". I really have to thank these guys for all the support they’ve given me over the last few months. They’ve kept me busy and out of trouble, which really wasn’t part of their job, but it sure kept me from doing stupid things.
Anyway, I'm home now and I'm waiting to see if you respond.
Norah
P.S. I sent you some mail earlier this morning, but it was to your other e-mail address.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 20 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Wed, Nov 27, 1996, 02:48 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: You wanted mail?? -Reply
Sounds like I'm causing quite a fuss. It seems like if they saw my number written down, it shouldn't take them too long to realize that 801 is in Utah. Jason is a fairly common name, and I think they're going to find quite a few of them in the directory.
It's good to have somebody to look out for you. My friends keep trying to get me to take more risks. Maybe I should, but I can't get over the nagging feeling that they're just pulling my chain by trying to see what stupid tricks they can get me to pull. I'm the same way. Guys can't really express affection for each other, so we insult each other and try to get each other in trouble. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?
Sorry for keeping you up late. I forgot about the time difference. However, it wasn't my fault that you decided to stay up for another hour and write me another message. So don't blame me for that one.
> Did you make your coffee before you went to bed??
No, I forgot. I don't have to get up for work again until next Monday, so we'll see if I remember then.
> I really enjoyed talking to you last night.
Thank you. I enjoyed talking to you as well. It's nice to occasionally meet a woman with whom I share some common interests. Most of the women I meet around here don't really like computers, science fiction, science, or vehicles (especially trucks). I've actually caught myself talking about the weather once I run out of jokes.
> If I was a couple of years younger, I'd go after you myself. You're a cool guy. So there!
Wow. Thank you again. I wonder if you have any idea how good it is to hear you say that. Say, are there any universities in the Toronto area that have good graduate programs in astronomy? 🙂
[your messy desk]
I have this image of this monster pile of paper lurking in the corner that's taking on a life of its own. When you're not around, it eats desks, phonecards, and cell phones. In the words of Londo Mollari, you "need to kill it before it develops language skills."
[Microsoft Schedule+.]
I tried to use something like that once. I was tempted to put "get up, go to work" on every day. I decided if that was the most interesting thing I had to put into a scheduler, I didn't really need one.
> … caught myself saying "EH" a couple of times last night.
No, I totally missed that. After you claimed not to use it very much, I don't think I could have let you get away with it. I guess I was listening more to what you were saying than to how you were saying it.
> … stop calling yourself an idiot
I don't feel like an idiot, but I really don't understand women, so I thought it was the most likely conclusion. That or my cynical friends who tell me that women are incapable of rational behavior until well after the age of 25 are actually on to something.
[being less conspicuous?]
Actually, that comes from when I used to drive 135 kph in the Neon. I felt uncomfortable attracting too much attention to myself. It worked, because I've only been pulled over twice, both times by the University of Utah[37] “kampus klown kops”. Once because I didn't signal long enough before changing lanes and once because I had snow covering up my license plate.
[trucks, rock 'n roll, computers, sci-fi, and nerds]
What is music? It's like any other sound, a propagation of kinetic energy through an elastic medium. Only music is interpreted by the human brain as pleasing. There's a lot of math and science involved. Instruments, amplifiers, and recordings all involve technology. Lots of stuff to keep nerds interested.
I tend to over-use the term "nerd". This is really simplistic, but in my mind, most people seem to be oriented toward one end or the other of the self-interest scale.
On one end are those who look at any situation and think "how can this benefit me?" They don't care how something works, only what good it is to them. They view personal relationships in terms of potential benefit to them. They don't really care what they're doing, as long as they're making good money, or it makes them look good in the eyes of somebody important. They're competitive. They make good car salesmen, lawyers, businessmen and politicians.
On the other end are those who are more interested in the world and the way it works. They do things they think are interesting. They associate with people because they find people interesting and want to learn more about them. They are fascinated by how things work, even if they don't have any practical use. They make good artists, musicians, engineers, or scientists.
Like I said, this is a huge stereotype. I know that everybody has different amounts of both motivations. I tend to be much more the latter. I don't have any better word, but "nerd" is already out there. That already has some extreme connotations, so I guess it's not really the best description.
It's not like I wear duct-taped glasses, horrific ties, and pocket protectors. I like t-shirts, sweatshirts, and jeans. Comfort over fashion, you might say. I am capable of dressing up when the occasion calls for it. Work does not.
[friend resume]
That's good. What did the person you sent it to think? Reminds me of "date applications" I've seen in humor books, which look like job applications. You're supposed to fill in physical characteristics, references, and answer a bunch of questions, like "do you smoke? If so, from where?"
> Jason, STOP LAUGHING!!!
What? Oh, sorry. <snicker>
Did you ever try to look up the truck picture I scanned in? In case you didn't catch what I was babbling about, I’ll give you the address again.
Jeez, given the holiday tomorrow, today sure seems like a Friday. Only half of our group is here today. It's hard to motivate myself to actually do any work. I'm going to be miserable when the deadline starts approaching and I'm sitting at work for thirteen hours a day, seven days a week.
That's why we have coffee, I suppose.
Talk to you later,
-- Jason
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 21 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Wed, Nov 27, 1996, 07:08 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: You wanted mail?? –Reply
> Sounds like I'm causing quite a fuss.
No fuss - they were just too quick and missed the area code. We use two different ones here - 416 & 905. It's very common to see phone numbers with area codes always attached. And you'd be surprised to know there are only 5 Jason's there. Each one is getting questioned. I can't help but laugh. And you thought that women were curious - surprise!!
I got my 2nd telephone line installed today so now my PC has its own phone. What a relief. He finished hooking everything up by 3:30 and I noticed that the roads were dry, and the sun was shining. Good time for a car wash and pictures. So, I went out and did it. My camera hasn't been used for a while, so I just hope they turn out. If they do, I'll take them into work and get them scanned and loaded to the home page.
> Guys can't really express affection for each other
Well, not really but that's just the way it is. Can't change basic nature.
> Sorry for keeping you up late.
I was just teasing. I don't blame anyone for anything. I'm in control of my life and could have hung up anytime I wanted to. I just didn't want to!! I have to admit that last night's phone conversation was the longest I've ever talked to anyone. You are very easy to talk to and a lot more interesting than you give yourself credit for.
> … make your coffee… No, I forgot. I don't have to get up for work again until next Monday, so we'll see if I remember then.
I'll remind you.
> … any universities in the Toronto area that have good graduate programs in astronomy?
A great one - University of Toronto[38] - it's massive and quite extensive. There are campuses all across the city.
[my desk developing language skills]
It's not as bad as I made it sound. There are two major piles. One work related and the other my own crap (mostly for the PC). I still can't get the hang of how to set up my fax for incoming. Sending isn't a problem.
> … put "get up, go to work" on every day. I decided if that was the most interesting thing I had to put into a scheduler, I didn't really need one.
I almost got to that point, but I stopped myself - too weird!
> I guess I was listening more to what you were saying than to how you were saying it.
How nice - a guy who listens to what is being said - another refreshing change. You are definitely changing my opinion of men. I guess there are some decent ones out there after all.
> I've only been pulled over twice, both times by the University of Utah kampus klown kops.....
Yep, the WANNA-BE's. I've only been pulled over that one time - and you know all about the outcome of that.
> What is music?
Slow down, this is the time of night where my brain shuts down (power-saver mode). Some nights it’s hard to concentrate on “1 + 1”. I have to read this very slowly.
> On the other end are those who are more interested in the world and the way it works…
Guess I'm that way. Love people and love to learn. It's because I trust people and give everyone the benefit of the doubt, that gets me in trouble every time. As strange as it may sound, I've even managed to learn things from stupid people.
Determination and Problem solving are my specialty. Whenever I discover a problem (home or at work) I can't let go until 1) It's resolved, 2) why did it happen & 3) how can I prevent this from happening again.
> Comfort over fashion, you might say.
Jeans & t-shirts -- my favorites as well. Only problem is now that I'm on straight days, I have to dress up. But I still wear my runners to work. May be a bit strange - dress pants and Nike’s - but that's me. There is just too much running around to do and in the computer room it's not advisable to wear anything else. The raised floor has holes where the A/C comes up. Wouldn't want to get heels stuck in there...
> … friend resume… That's good. What did the person you sent it to think?
Thanks. I sent it to someone in Kansas City that I've never met. We've been working together for about a year over the phone. I faxed it to him, and he didn't get back to me for about a week. I caught him totally off guard as he didn't know what my intentions were. Now he understands my warped sense of humor and we're really good friends. It served him right because he's been suggestive for the last year. I guess when I write and talk on the phone I CAN get a little flirtatious, but it's just my nature.
> Did you ever try to look up the truck picture I scanned in? In case you didn't catch what I was babbling about…
Yes, I looked it up today. Very, very nice. You have the same grey Dakota Sport script on the side as I do. I think of all the DAKOTA SPORT logos I've seen, ours is the nicest.
> It's hard to motivate myself to actually do any work.
Well maybe I shouldn't write you at work. Just finish your project and talk to me when you get home. I have to tell you, that I'm just as bad. Even though I don't have access to the internet at work -- I must confess that I compose a lot of stuff in word, bring it home and send it over. Can't help myself!!
Oh, I wanted to ask you -- do you have any good morning radio shows there?? We have one that is borderline XXX. These two guys (Jessie and Jean) do the wildest pranks and practical jokes every morning. I must look like an idiot when I'm driving in because I can't stop laughing. They replay the entire week on either Saturday or Sunday. I was thinking of taping it for you because I think you would really appreciate it. If you want me to send it down to you, let me know your mailing address.
Write soon, or I'll get depressed.
Norah
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 22 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Wed, Nov 27, 1996, 06:26 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: You wanted mail?? -Reply -Reply
> 5 Jason’s there. Each one is getting questioned.
Sheesh, there were 5 Jason’s on my dorm floor my first year in college (out of 18 guys). There were only 3 Dave’s. When we would bring anyone new onto the floor, we would tell them if they saw a guy and couldn't remember his name, to first try Jason then Dave before asking.
I can just see some 85 year old named Jason sitting at home watching TV when one of your friends calls and asks him, "have you been seeing Norah?" "Who?" "Never mind." <click> "Damned kids today..."
> I got my 2nd telephone line installed today and picture day.
Good deal. I'm looking forward to seeing it. I thought about getting a second line for my computer, but I figure it isn't really necessary since I've got the cell phone.
> I was just teasing. I could have hung up anytime I wanted to. I just didn't want to!!
Well, I hope you would have at least warned me first before hanging up... (just kidding).
> You are very easy to talk to and a lot more interesting than you give yourself credit for.
I seem to keep thanking you for complimenting me. I sure hope I'm not blushing or anything. My co-workers will start wondering what kind of mail I've been getting.
A few years ago, one of my roommate's female friends from Nevada whom I had met once called to talk to him. He wasn't home, but I ended up talking to her for almost three hours. She said she had no idea that I was so interesting to talk to. My response? "Neither did I."
> I'll remind you to make the coffee before bed.
Good. I did try one thing my brother suggested. He said if you put a second filter over the grounds, it distributes the water more evenly and you can make it just as strong with less coffee. It took a lot longer but seemed to work. I'll have to experiment to see exactly how much coffee it saves me.
> How nice - a guy who listens to what is being said – another refreshing change.
Every time someone tries to tell me “Well every guy does this, says that, or thinks some way", I say, "well, I'm not every guy." There are decent men out there. Unfortunately, it seems like the arrogant assholes are much more likely to hit on women, so they're the ones that end up going home with them.
My brother has a book that he found in the humor section at Barnes & Noble. He thinks it should be in the self-help section. It's called "Nice Guys Don't Get Laid." It has the self-test to see if you're a nice guy (I am), tells you all about why women find you boring, and how to make yourself over into an abusive jerk. I have no desire to do that to myself, but it does make a few good points. This is probably just bitterness and frustration at work, but it sure seems like women stay with guys they can't stand. Until they've been married to one for a while like you have, when they realize that they're not all they're cracked up to be.
I suppose that the nice guys just need to learn to be less timid and approach women.
> I've only been pulled over that one time and you know all about the outcome of that.
Oh, yeah. I'd almost forgotten about that. The campus cops employed by the U of U are the same guys the zoo hires for security during the day. I know this because I worked in concessions at the zoo one summer in high school and saw one of their security guards patrolling around campus at night. I asked him if they really let him drive one of those expensive cop cars around. He said he was just standing next to some other guy's so he could look cool. (I wasn't impressed.)
> Slow down, this is the time of night where my brain shuts down (power-saver mode).
Sorry. I was just trying to make up a lot of technical-sounding BS to illustrate a point. It's not really important. Don't worry about it.
> As strange as it may sound, I've even managed to learn things from stupid people.
Wow. I think the only thing of value I've ever learned from one is why I need to avoid them.
> Determination and Problem solving are my specialty
I know what you mean. I get personally involved in problems, to the point where they become a quest. What I could solve in 20 minutes by asking someone who knows I will spend all day on before I will admit defeat. Asking for help would be like stopping to ask for directions if I were lost. Men just can't do that, even me.
> Jeans & t-shirts
I'm supposed to wear a dress shirt and Dockers. Basically, just one stop short of a tie . I want to wear shorts and a t-shirt. We compromise. I wear long pants and shirts with buttons unless we have outside visitors in the office. It's not like the computer cares what I look like. They tried to tell me that I would be more productive if I felt dressed up, but I told them that I feel uncomfortable and just sit and fidget all day long.
> I guess when I write and talk on the phone I CAN get a little flirtatious, but it's just my nature.
Gee, I hadn't noticed that. That sounds sarcastic, but I really hadn't. Maybe with all of the shit you've been through lately, you've toned it down. Or am I just oblivious?
> I think of all the DAKOTA SPORT logos I've seen, ours is the nicest.
I also like the emerald green with forest green stripe. I am partial to emerald green, since that's what color my Neon was, also my eyes. I used to tell people that I got the car in that color because it matched my eyes.
> I don't have access to the internet at work -- I must confess that I compose a lot of stuff in word, bring it home and send it over. Can't help myself!!
They might as well give you access. It would probably save you time. At any rate, even if you do send something to me at my personal ISP, I get it here at work. I've got a forward file set up to send stuff on over so I can get it no matter where I am. I can't figure out how to do that with GroupWise[39], so if you send me something at work I can't read it from home.
[radio morning shows]
Most of the ones we have think they're a lot funnier than they really are. They're real perverts, and just end up harassing all of the women that call in. The one I listen to is on the alternative station. I like this station because they don't use any of the loud, we're the greatest, yeah, yeah, station ids. They used to say "We're X 96[40], and we don't suck. At least, not very much." Their morning show guys are really conceited, but they're pretty low volume (good for mornings) and at least they recognize women as people rather than sex objects.
If you want to send tapes or anything else, I’ll give you my home address
> Write soon, or I'll get depressed.
Can't have that. You might fit in in Utah, where we have the highest per-capita consumption of Jell-O[41], ice cream and Prozac[42].
I know the feeling though. I was getting pretty bored and kept thinking, "come on, Norah, send me some more mail so I'll have something to do." I was glad to see that you did.
Well, I just went back over this mail to see how long it was. I'm pretty impressed with myself. I'd better stop babbling before I crash our mail handler.
Talk to you later,
-- Jason
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ⋞- 23 -⋟ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Wed , Nov 27, 1996, 10:11 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Good Evening Jason
> … complimenting me…
Ok, ok. I'll stop complimenting you. Don't get too conceited now!
> I'll have to experiment to see exactly how much coffee it saves me.
I'm not big in the patience department. I want my coffee as soon as I get up and it has to be just right. That 1st cup will make or break my day. If you saw my freezer, you'd die. I've got 6 different types of coffee. I don't drink a lot of it (2 or 3 cups a day -- is that a lot?) but I want quality. Espresso is nice once in a while too.
> There are decent men out there. Unfortunately, it seems like the arrogant assholes are much more likely to hit on women, so they're the ones that end up going home with them.
Yep, you're right again.
> My brother has a book that he found in the humor section at Barnes & Noble. He thinks it should be in the self-help section. It's called "Nice Guys Don't Get Laid."
"Laid"? What's that - it's been so long I don't remember
> It has the self-test to see if you're a nice guy (I am)...
Good.
> ... tells you all about why women find you boring, and how to make yourself over into an abusive jerk.
Don't do it or I won't talk to you anymore!!!
> I have no desire to do that to myself… but it sure seems like women stay with guys they can't stand. Until they've been married to one for a while like you have.
If you only knew the whole story. It would fill a novel.
> I suppose that the nice guys just need to learn to be less timid and approach women.
Depends on how well one handles rejection. I think for every 20 rejections, you get one that works out. Most people give up around 5 (except for the assholes).
> … stupid people… I think the only thing of value I've ever learned from one is why I need to avoid them.
You got it Pontiac[43]. That's exactly what I learned.
> Asking for help would be like stopping to ask for directions if I were lost. Men just can't do that, even me.
Yup - what is with this? Why are men afraid to ask for directions? I don't understand. I don't care what people think - I just want to get to where I'm going.
> Gee, I hadn't noticed that. Maybe with all of the shit you've been through lately, you've toned it down.
I have toned it down, but every once in a while it sneaks out.
>> Yes, I looked it up today. Very, very nice. You have the same grey Dakota Sport script on the side as I do. I think of all the DAKOTA SPORT logos I've seen, ours is the nicest.> I am partial to emerald-green, since that's what color my Neon was, also my eyes. I used to tell people that I got the car in that color because it matched my eyes.
Match your eyes??? This has got to stop - we have just far too much in common. I have green eyes too.
> I can't figure out how to do that with GroupWise, so if you send me something at work I can't read it from home.
So, I'll just keep sending to your home.
>> Write soon, or I'll get depressed.> Can't have that. You might fit in in Utah, where we have the highest per-capita consumption of Jell-O, ice cream and Prozac.
Here it's Ativan[44] and alcohol.
> I know the feeling though. I was getting pretty bored and kept thinking, "come on, Norah, send me some more mail so I'll have something to do."
So, you want mail... Just ask, I'll comply. Must be nice not to have to go back to work until Monday. What are you going to do with all of your time?? Going home for Thanksgiving??? I'm stuck on call again. It's not that bad so far this week and next week should be ok as well. I'm second on call - so Number 1 must be solving all the problems. The following two weeks will be the killer - I'll be first on call with the laptop - OH JOY. Guess I'll plug it into the other line. I wonder if I can handle AS/400 problems and E-mail to you at the same time??? There's a challenge!!
Last Saturday was very unusual because I was talking to my friend Rob in Kansas City when one of the guys from work phoned down there with a problem. What does he say: Hang on a sec, let me ask Norah what we should do? Now everybody thinks that I flew down to Kansas City for the weekend. Do you see how reputations start??? Now they're bugging me that there's a US and a Canada merger happening. Couldn't be further from the truth. But I told you, these guys pick on me a lot and I have to be on guard at all times. But it's fun.
Ok - so I've never talked to anyone on the phone as much as I did to you last night. Now, I can honestly say that I've never written to anyone as much as I have with you. It was good for me -- was it good for you??
I don't think this one was as long as your last one. I guess you've won the competition. But wait - I may surprise you yet.
Keep those cards and letters coming in...
Norah
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To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Good Evening Jason
> Ok, ok. I'll stop complimenting you. Don't get too conceited now!
Well, you don't necessarily have to go that far :-). I was thinking of the line where you said you might go after me yourself if I were a few years older. I think that one got me. I'm just not used to this sort of attention, that's all.
[coffee]
I've been drinking two cups a day plus about two or three Diet Coke’s[45] in the afternoon. I can't sleep at night, and I'm still tired all day long. I've heard many times that too much caffeine will screw up your sleeping patterns, so I'm going to try to go to part or mostly decaf and see what happens.
> "Laid"? What's that - it's been so long I don't remember.
I had to look it up. Then I had to get a biology textbook to see what that meant. Fortunately, my dictionary lists all of the slang terms.
> … becoming an abusive jerk… Don't do it or I won't talk to you anymore!!!
Don't worry. I would have to stop talking to myself as well, and then where would I be? Hmmm... that statement might be interpreted differently from how I meant it. That might actually be more appropriate. I originally meant that I would lose all respect for myself. I might also stop talking to myself.
> If you only knew the whole story. It would fill a novel.
Or a really long e-mail. I'm willing to listen if you ever want to spell it out. Or not, whatever you want to do.
> Depends on how well one handles rejection.
I would need the self-image of steel. Correction... I *will* need it. I thought for a while that I would give up on the whole business and be done with relationships. Then my best friend had to go and get a girlfriend and tell me about all of the things I was missing out on. So much for the "I don't need women" idea. Now I just need to figure out how to rejection-proof my psyche.
That reminds me. I wanted to ask your opinion on something. I usually don't go out with Mormon girls, because it almost certainly wouldn't work out in the long run. Given the rarity of non-Mormons around here, I've started thinking of making that a general guideline rather than a stand-fast rule. (There's nobody specific if that's what you're wondering.) Even if it doesn't work out, what the hell? It would be fun to go out with somebody for a change, and I could probably use the practice. Obviously, she would have to be a really open-minded Mormon if she's going to put up with my behavior. Sort of goes along with the idea that I need to stop looking for "Miss Right" and just get out and have a good time. As Robin Williams says, if you can't find Miss Right, look for Miss Right Now.
> Why are men afraid to ask for directions?
It's like surrendering. We can't admit that we need someone's help in order to navigate.
> Match your eyes??? This has got to stop - we have just far too much in common. I have green eyes too.
I don't suppose you have straight brunette hair.
OK, stop right there, Jason. Yes, that's what my hair looks like, but part of the reason I'm asking is because I think it's really attractive on women. Don't worry, I'm not going to start asking you for your measurements or anything next. Aside from the fact that I think that's tacky, I'm more interested in women from the neck up (face, hair, mind, personality). I know those last two are most important, but I can't ignore looks. My idealism only goes so far.
(Don't get the wrong impression. I'm just clowning around. But you probably already knew that didn’t you?)
> Here it's Ativan and alcohol.
What's Ativan? Obviously Utah ranks almost dead last in alcohol.
> I wonder if I can handle AS/400 problems and E-mail to you at the same time??? There's a challenge!!
Multitasking at its finest.
My parents are having Thanksgiving at their house. I usually go up there at least once a week, so it isn't too much of a journey. There's supposed to be a huge snowstorm coming in tomorrow night, so I might just stay there overnight. We'll wait and see.
> But I told you, these guys pick on me a lot and I have to be on guard at all times. But it's fun.
I certainly hope you retaliate in kind every chance you get.
So, did you ever find out what happened with their search for me? I still laugh every time I think about it.
I think Rob in Kansas City should have just patched over to you and pretended that you were in the room. That's pretty funny.
> … never written or talked to anyone this much... It was good for me -- was it good for you??
Ooh, baby. Don't get me started. Don't forget, you're dealing with repressed raging 23-year-old hormones here. (Yeah, whatever...)
> I guess you've won the competition. But wait - I may surprise you yet.
I'm eager with anticipation. (I told you not to get me started. Now look what you've done. I think I need a cold shower or something.)
Well, this is great fun, but I think I'm headed off to bed. I'll try and log in as much as I can over the weekend. I don't know yet what I'm going to be doing, though. If I don't write for a day or two, I haven't forgotten about you, I'm just away from a terminal.
On second thought, the neighbors' baby just started crying. Sleep may be a virtual impossibility. I'd better try for some, though. That's one of the worst things about living in a condo. That and not having a garage.
Be talking to you,
-- Jason
Psi Corps is your friend. Trust Psi Corps.
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-- Jason
Psi Corps is your friend. Trust Psi Corps.
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Sun, Nov 17, 1996, 01:29 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Weather
> Depends on your definition of a lot of money. I just got a Covercraft soft tonneau cover for $183 US.
> I would like to see a big rams-head logo sculpted out of snow riding around in the back of a Dakota.
I don't think that I'm that artistic, but I can try. Thanks for the info.
> -- Jason
> Psi Corps is your friend. Trust Psi Corps.
(Psi Corps... must be a Babylon 5[4] fan).
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Mon, Nov 18, 1996, 09:57 AM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Weather -Reply
>> I would like to see a big rams-head logo sculpted out of snow riding around in the back of a Dakota.
> I don't think that I'm that artistic, but I can try. Thanks for the info.
I wouldn't even know where to begin, but if you manage to make one that looks good, upload a picture of it to the web site :-).
> (Psi Corps... must be a Babylon 5 fan).
I'm impressed, you're the first person to recognize that. Usually when I explain to someone that it's part of Babylon 5, I next have to explain what Babylon 5 *is*.
Sorry, no signature this time. Our mail program at work doesn't seem to have that feature. That or it's too friendly and easy for me to figure out. The problem with being a programmer is that I would rather re-build some configuration file someplace than click on a button in a setup dialog. So, my computer skills appear to be declining as computers get friendlier.
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Mon Nov 18, 1996, 08:13 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer???
>> (Psi Corps... must be a Babylon 5 fan).
> I'm impressed, you're the first person to recognize that. Usually when I explain to someone that it's part of Babylon 5, I next have to explain what Babylon 5 *is*.
Jason,
I'm sending this directly to you as the group might start getting annoyed if I get sidetracked.
I think most computer people are sci-fi fanatics, but the truly special ones like Dakota's too. Shhh, don't tell the others or their feelings will be hurt.
Planning on seeing the new Star Trek[5] movie this weekend???
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Mon, Nov 18, 1996, 08:13 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer???
Forgot to mention that I work with IBM AS/400's[6]. They can become an obsession too.
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Tue, Nov 19, 1996, 02:22 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer??? -Reply
> I'm sending this directly to you as the group might start getting annoyed if I get sidetracked.
You're probably right. I guess it is a Dakota mailing list, and not a "things Dakota owners are interested in along with Dakotas" mailing list.
> I think most computer people are sci-fi fanatics, but the truly special ones like Dakota's too. Shhh, don't tell the others or their feelings will be hurt.
Why, thank you. Unfortunately, I think it's a little late not to tell the other computer people about Dakotas. I've told everybody I work with that if they do anything to really annoy me, I'll park my Dak on top of their cars (I wouldn't ever do anything like that, and they know I wouldn't, but I have a reputation to try to maintain). I think they got the message that I think my truck is far cooler than any mere car.
Scott Adams[7] has a few paragraphs in his book "The Dilbert Principle" dedicated to explaining why all engineers love Star Trek. Not only is it futuristic and gadgety, but the engineers in the show are portrayed as heroes who often get to save the ship, sometimes get to save the universe, and occasionally get to have sex with aliens. I think Adams is right. I grew up thinking I could probably do Scotty's job at least as well as he does. If not Scotty's, I could definitely do Spock's job.
> Planning on seeing the new Star Trek movie this weekend???
Absolutely. When the last one came out, one of my friends told me that if you don't go see the new Trek movie on the opening weekend, they have to take away your computer. I just hope that "First Contact" is better than "Generations". (I really can't stand Shatner.) The only problem is that I'm so engrossed with Babylon 5 now that I'm getting spoiled for Trek. I'm almost as excited about each weekly episode of B5 as I am about the new Trek movie.
> Forgot to mention that I work with IBM AS/400's. They can become an obsession too.
Of course. The important thing is to find something obsessive to do for a living where they pay you money to do something you wanted to do in the first place. Now if I could just get a job as a member of a sample test audience for new episodes of Babylon 5...
So, since you live in Canada, I have to find out if you're a fan of the rock band Rush[8]. One doesn't necessarily imply the other, but there seems to be a much higher percentage of Rush fans among Canadians than among Americans. I'm just curious to see if the trend holds.
(So, I guess you've noticed my bad habit of writing long-winded e-mail messages without any serious content. Hope you're not too annoyed, irritated, aggravated, bored, frustrated or otherwise fed up with me. 🙂
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Tue, Nov 19, 1996, 06:00 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer??? –Reply
I sold my manager on getting a Dakota. Him and his wife are going shopping this weekend. I guess I go on and on so much about mine, he had to test drive one to find out what I was raving about. I grew up with trucks as my dad was a trucker with his own business. Most people find it strange that women like trucks, but I guess I'm strange and proud of it. I have a fair reputation for trucks at work as well now.
> … and occasionally get to have sex with aliens.
I don't know about sex with aliens though. Some of them look pretty strange!! Mind you, who knows what lurks behind Kosh's environment suit.
> If not Scotty's, I could definitely do Spock's job.
Spock was my idol growing up. I thank his character for my interest in computers and telecommunications. I now work for communications company and have the best of both worlds. Then my hero became Data. My friends think it's a little strange that my heroes are cold and unemotional. I told them because they are my opposite and I always wished I could be a little more like them.
> Planning on seeing the new Star Trek movie this weekend???
Unfortunately, I can't go this weekend, as we're doing major implementations at work, and I have to be there to put out the "fires". Shatner is a typical Canadian that made it big and became a snot and doesn't acknowledge his roots.
> So, since you live in Canada, I have to find out if you're a fan of the rock band Rush.
Rush used to play at our high school when they were nobodies, so I never became a true fan. My favorites are Pink Floyd[9], Queen[10], etc. A true Rock 'n Roller. Blues comes in a pretty close second (Excuse the Canadian spelling - favourites.)
> (So, I guess you've noticed my bad habit of writing long-winded e-mail messages…
As you may have noticed, I too can become quite long-winded, and would never get fed up. I enjoy sending and receiving mail. One of my hobbies is creative writing - so this is an area I love, so feel free to keep writing.
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Tue, Nov 19, 1996, 10:33 PM MST
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer???-Reply
> Most people find it strange that women like trucks, but I guess I'm strange and proud of it.
Believe me, I don't find it strange that women like trucks. I live in Orem, Utah. The city apparently likes to think it's still a rural farm area. I see many women piling their twelve kids into huge Ford[11] F350 trucks with dual rear wheels, crew cabs (4 full doors) and diesel engines. Today, I saw a woman driving a cement truck, chewing on a cigarette, and yelling at someone on her CB. In fact, I think you need to learn to drive a manual transmission, even if you don't have one. Or was that someone else who recently said she could only drive automatics?
Anyway, I used to drive a Dodge Neon[12]. I tell everybody that I had to buy a four-wheel drive because I felt that my masculinity was threatened by the fact that women around here drive manlier vehicles than I did. In reality, I decided that my dad's 1971 Jeep CJ5 was not the answer to my off-road adventures. It's great once you get it off road, but you have to tow it there since it doesn't go freeway speeds. You also have to spend about 45 minutes fixing on it every time you go to start it, since it's rusting apart and leaks every fluid it holds. My dad bought it brand new, and it's been a great vehicle, but the fact remains that it's older than I am and needs to be retired. The Dakota takes about two minutes to go from driveway to hitting the road headed for the mountains.
> I don't know about sex with aliens though. Some of them look pretty strange!! Mind you, who knows what lurks behind Kosh's environment suit.
One word: Delenn.
Of course, there's also Kira Noriese and Jadzia Dax on Deep Space 9 and Belanna Torres on Voyager. They're all aliens (and who knows if I've spelled their names correctly). Lusting after fictional characters on science fiction television shows isn't very healthy, but it sure is fun.
Sorry. Guess the fact that I'm only 23 is showing through. Although my mom tells me I've been 40 since I was 12. Whatever that means.
> Spock was my idol growing up… Then my hero became Data.
Same here, Spock and Data. Also, Geordi LaForge. His sense of humor reminds me of my own. Of course, I could say the same thing about Michael Garibaldi, Susan Ivanova, Lennier and Londo Mollari. The characters on B5 are too real (flawed) to really idolize, though. Maybe "sympathize with" or "relate to".
I idolize the unemotional characters because that's sort of what I'm like. I've had strangers tell me I remind them of Spock, at which point I thanked them profusely. Other than my wise-ass sarcastic sense of humor, I may as well be Vulcan.
> Star Trek movie… Unfortunately, I can't go this weekend.
Ah, yes, the if-you're-awake-you're-at-work schedule. I should be on it now, but I'm going to wait until next week.
The main reason I can't stand Shatner is that I don't think he could act his way out of a paper bag. I had forgotten that he was a Canadian. That surprises me to hear you say that's typical for him to become a snot. The few times I've been in Canada, the one thing that I've consistently noticed is that the people are much friendlier than they are in the US. Even Alaska is no exception. You can tell the minute you cross over the border into Alaska, because the customs agents are American power-intoxicated jerks who search every piece of luggage you're carrying and leave your belongings all over the ground instead of the pleasant helpful type you find crossing into Canada.
I've been to Calgary and Vancouver and went through Edmonton and up into Whitehorse on the way to Alaska, but I've never made it over to Toronto. What's it like? I was too young to really remember Calgary. I really liked Vancouver and Whitehorse (the whole Yukon, actually). Having been raised in the Rocky Mountains and looking forward to Alaska, I wasn't impressed with Edmonton during the four days we were stuck there watching it rain. It's bloody flat. I found a T-shirt which read "Edmonton Mountain Bicycling Association", which I found endlessly amusing, as there aren't even any hills to bike on, let alone anything which qualifies as a mountain.
[Canadian]
(At least you don't type "eh?" after every other sentence.)
> Rush used to play at our high school when they were nobodies, so I never became a true fan.
Back when they were nobodies, they probably still had Rutsey on drums. I don't blame you. After their first big-label record, they fired him and brought Neil Peart on board, who absolutely made the band (read: the first album sucks; farm animals could have written better lyrics).
Let me give you some idea how much of Rush fans my brother and I are. This weekend, we're making the almost 400 mile (each way) trek down to Las Vegas to see them in concert. They skipped Salt Lake last time, and we're not taking that chance again. I'm not taking the Dakota, though. It has the ultra-low gear ratio, so it turns 2600 rpms at 70 mph. The speed limit down there is 75. I don't want to spin my motor that fast for that long. That plus the gas mileage convinced me to just get a rental car. We'll just fly down at about Mach 2 and I won't have to care about prematurely wearing out the engine.
> My favorites are Pink Floyd, Queen, etc. A true Rock 'n Roller. Blues comes in a pretty close 2nd.
Personally, my music tastes went through a rock phase, a heavy metal phase, an alternative phase, a classical phase, a blues phase, and a jazz phase. Everything but country and rap. I mostly listen to "alternative" lately, but I try to stay pretty balanced.
Well, I brought my work home so I could get something done tonight. So much for that idea. My brain's turned to mush anyway.
Talk to you later.
-- Jason
Psi Corps is your friend. Trust Psi Corps.
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Wed, Nov 20, 1996, 06:27 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer??? -Reply
> Believe me, I don't find it strange that women like trucks. I live in Orem, Utah.
I can tell you that I've only seen one other woman Dakota person in Toronto. I'm sure there are a few, but even the one I spoke to said it was her dad’s. Half of Toronto (just guessing) is yuppie-ville and like Grand Cherokee's. Most of the women that drive trucks, like you say - piling their twelve kids into huge Ford F350 trucks with dual rear wheels, crew cabs (4 full doors) and diesel engines.. Sorry, that's not my style, so I tend to speak mostly with men.
> Today, I saw a woman driving a cement truck, chewing on a cigarette, and yelling at someone on her CB.
Not very feminine!!
> In fact, I think you need to learn to drive a manual transmission, even if you don't have one. Or was that someone else who recently said she could only drive automatics?
What a memory - yes that was me. My dad tried to teach me once when I lived with him in northern BC. What a joke. He took me out on the Alaska highway and there was an RCMP[13] officer following behind (who just happened to be a friend of my dad's). Needless to say - it didn't go. I was so nervous - I kept stalling and messing up. Dad said I was hopeless with a standard. I'm a very quick learner with everything else - so I guess I have to find someone with patience to teach me properly.
> Anyway, I used to drive a Dodge Neon.
Had one as a loaner but didn't like it. After driving trucks, I feel like I can't see the road. I've always had a passion for Corvettes[14]. In fact, I have many framed pictures of the '63 split window up on my walls. After driving a few, I decided I had better stick with my Dakota. It felt like I was below ground level.
> I felt that my masculinity was threatened by the fact that women around here drive manlier vehicles than I did.
Sounds like that "Fragile male ego" thing.
> Sorry. Guess the fact that I'm only 23 is showing through. Although my mom tells me I’ve been 40 since I was 12. Whatever that means.
Only 23! You don't write like that. Well, all I'll say is that I'm in my 30's, recently separated and loving it. I never realized how much fun it is to be single. I have dinner dates for Thursday and Friday night along with a lunch date on Saturday. Now I surround myself with great friends & my e-mail buddies. I think I'll put relationships on the back burner till my wounds heal. Mind you, I've made a great friend at the company’s US location in Kansas City who is coming up to Toronto in January to see me. We'll see what happens then.
> I may as well be Vulcan.
Don't be too Vulcan - you'll scare women off. Sense of humor (look I spelt it your way) is the most important thing in a relationship next to honesty.
> The main reason I can't stand Shatner…
Most Canadians that make it big in the US don't like to admit they are Canadian. It's as if they would look inferior. There's a guy on a major network news program call Johnathan Roberts. A few years ago, he had long hair, was known as JD Roberts, and hosted "Much Music[15]" (the Canadian version of MTV). You'd never know it now though.
> The few times I've been in Canada, the one thing that I've consistently noticed is that the people are much friendlier than they are in the US.
It's in our nature. Every time I talk to our US division, they can't figure out why I say thank-you so much. I don't really know why.
> I've been to Calgary and Vancouver and went through Edmonton and up into Whitehorse on the way to Alaska, but I've never made it over to Toronto. What's it like?
I've lived in Northern BC, Vancouver, Montreal, and Edmonton. I worked for IBM in Edmonton and learned a hell of a lot there, but it's great to be back home again. We have approx. 4 million people (including the surrounding areas). There's always something to do. A lot of stuff is open 24 hours. I play pool a lot and if I get bored and can't sleep at 2:00 am, I get in the DAK and drive to the club, play a few games, and come home to bed.
> (At least you don't type "eh?" after every other sentence.)
I have caught myself on more than one occasion using "eh?". It's a terrible habit and I don't even like to hear myself use it. But then, everyone in our company’s US division uses "Y'ALL" which makes me giggle.
> driving to Las Vegas…
I drove my '93 Dakota from Edmonton to Toronto - fully loaded when I moved back. It was a very long trip - but she handled beautifully. Took me 10 days, but I camped all the way with my dogs. It was fun but I wouldn't repeat it.
[music tastes]
I'm the same. I have no use for country and rap. I've been listening to a lot of 'alternative' as well. I have a liking for Stabbing Westward[16], Bush[17], Moist[18], etc.
Well, it 6:30 am and I have to get ready for work. It was great talking to you. Bye for now.
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Thu, Nov 21, 1996, 10:35 AM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Sci-Fi/Dakota/computer??? -Reply -Reply
[vehicle trends]
I'm originally from Salt Lake City, which is about 50 miles to the north of Orem. Oh, wait, I've got my nerd-requisite HP calculator here, so I can convert that to 80.5 km. Anyway, Salt Lake has its share of yuppies, with a few rednecks. Orem and Provo are heavier on the redneck population. There are still lots of Grand Cherokees, though. The big difference is that around here, you're more likely to see a Grand Cherokee covered in mud from a day of four-wheeling.
>> Today, I saw a woman driving a cement truck, chewing on a cigarette, and yelling at someone on her CB.
> Not very feminine!!
That's what I was thinking. She was even more entertaining than the Harley Davidson women I see from time to time. Any fragile male ego I might have had has all been shattered by now, and I'm left with the indestructible part that doesn't really care anymore. I just have to tell myself, “That woman could probably bench-press me and break me over her knee, but I'll bet she can't build a working computer out of spare parts." Small consolation, but I'll take what I can get.
[learning to drive manual transmission]
My brother and I learned in my dad's Jeep. It has a standard three-speed plus a separate shifter for the overdrive, which gives about a half of a gear difference. You get six gears, but you have to mess around with two shifters to get them. I guess he figured that if we could drive the Jeep we could drive anything this side of a dump truck.
> … I decided I had better stick with my Dakota. It felt like I was below ground level.
I've adjusted to the Dakota. At first I felt like I was looking out a second story window, but I don't notice it anymore. It will be interesting to see what I think of this rental car. The place I'm renting from actually has a Neon, and I'll probably end up with it.
I do miss driving really fast through the turns, though. I'm afraid that in the spring I'm going to end up buying a Miata or a motorcycle to go along with the Dakota.
> Only 23!
Most people are more willing to believe that I'm 27 than that I'm really 23. Which is exactly the image I try to project. I categorically deny ever having been a teenager.
I guess if you haven't been single for a while, it could be kind of fun. I'm starting to get pretty sick of it. All the Mormons[19] around here get married when they're about 19, or if not, immediately after returning from their missions (age 21). I'm seen as a confirmed bachelor because I've waited so long to get married that all of the women are already taken. My opinion is that none of these people have a very good grasp of reality. They're my age, they have one kid with another on the way, and their lives are pretty much over. Whatever makes them happy, I guess.
> Don't be too Vulcan - you'll scare women off.
That might explain a few things. I'm trying to avoid whining about how awful my life is, but the fact of the matter is that, given the fact that Vulcans only become sexually active once every seven years, I guess I only have two more years to wait.
Sorry. Enough self-pity.
> Sense of humor is the most important thing in a relationship next to honesty.
Well, I have the engineer attribute of being brutally honest. I met a girl at a party a few weeks ago and she said, "oh, hi, we've met, remember me?" It didn't occur to me to be tactful and say, "Oh, yeah, your name is, um, Michelle?" at which point she would have said, "no, Beth" and realized I had no idea who she was, but I was at least making an effort to be polite.
No. What occurs to me is to be honest and say, "sorry, but I have no idea who you are." Not a big deal, since she was there with her boyfriend / fiancé / husband (not sure which) and wasn't really my type anyway. It's just sort of interesting how my brain works.
Besides that, I've always thought that the most important thing women looked for in a man was several really high-limit credit cards :-).
[population]
The entire state of Utah just hit two million. We have all of the drawbacks (crowds, traffic, pollution) and there's still never anything going on. The only things in Orem that are open at 2:00 am are grocery stores and 7 Elevens. Salt Lake is the same way. The bars (in Salt Lake -- there are none here) close at about 1:30, because the state forbids the sale of alcohol past 1:00 am. Given this, I like to get out into the mountains away from all the people (hence the 4x4 truck). The only problem is that everybody else tries to do the same thing. We can't all get away from each other if we're all headed to the same spot.
[Canadian accents]
I like "eh?". I also like "oot and aboot". Every time the president dips in the polls and considers invading some poor third-world country to make himself more popular, my brother and I start practicing our Canadian accents in case they start up the draft again and we have to move.
The thing that Americans (and possibly Canadians?) do that drives me insane is "like,". People never actually do anything with anybody, but they like, do like, things and like, stuff with like, their like, friends and other like, people. That and "What... Ever."
Well, I guess I'd better, like, get back to work and, like, get some stuff done. Like, talk to you later.
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Fri, Nov 22, 1996, 12:11 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Like Hi!!
[fragile male ego]
The brain is the most seductive part of a person. Don't sell yourself short.
[learning to drive]
When I first moved out to live with my dad in Fort Nelson, BC (1000 miles north of Vancouver), he got me a summer job working at the Natural Gas Processing plant. Again, I was the only female there and at 17, was in my glory. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to drive and on the first day of work, wearing coveralls, work boots and hard hat, was given the keys to a Ford F150 and told to bring it around. I told them, don't know how to drive, and have no license. All he said was take your time, you'll figure it out. It took me 4 hours, but I taught myself how to drive. Have been in love with trucks ever since.
If my dad were alive today, he'd be so proud of my choice in trucks. Black, 4x2, V6, Heavy Duty package, anti-spin, a/c, club cab. Not an ounce of chrome, everything (bumpers, back of mirrors, etc. is solid black). Rims are alum., same as Kuk's (on the web page). Only color (look - spelt the US way again), on it is grey and purple pin stripping and my added decal on the doors that say BLACK ICE in sparkles. I take extreme care of it, and it shows. After 14 months, I only have 15,000 km on it (too tired to calculate to miles). I don't think that I say this because it's mine, but in the parking lot at work - it seems to stand out. Except of course, my friend at work who has a Toyota[20] 4runner that's been modified to the hilt (barely street legal). His is black too and we seem to control the lot. Sorry, I'm rambling again.
> I categorically deny ever having been a teenager.
My teen years are a little blurry and I want to keep it that way.
[single and non-Mormon in Utah.]
Don't sell yourself short and don't rush into anything. Everything that's meant to be, will be. You just have to have patience. Oh my God, I'm starting to sound like a therapist. STOP ME BEFORE I SCREW UP SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE!!
Seriously, you always find someone when you're not looking. If you ever come up to Toronto, I introduce you to all the pretty girls from work.
> What occurs to me is to be honest and say, "sorry, but I have no idea who you are."
Honesty! Haven't heard that from a man in a long time. What planet do you come from?? Sorry, I'm still going through my "Trust no one" stage. Ooops, X-Files[21] snuck out. Since my husband, "salesman/con-artist of the year" messed me up, I've been very leery of most people. It's hard to trust my usually good instincts about people now because I really misjudged him. Never held a steady job and lived off me for a long time. Then got bored and left me for an older woman, on welfare with two kids and whose bulimic. Did a number on my head as I always thought people left for something better? Problem was he couldn't handle being with a woman that was smart and good-looking. Too insecure and needed a woman who looked up to him. Sorry for spilling all this crap on you, but you're really easy to talk to and I treat you as a friend now. Anyway, I'm recovered, seen the light, and better than I ever was before. People at work keep telling me to wipe that smirk off of my face, you're driving us crazy! Can't help it, my life is just starting, and I feel great.
There are only three things that can really hurt me now -- 1) hurt my dogs, 2) touch my new Aptiva PC, and 3) mess with my truck. Other than those, I can handle most anything now.
> Besides that, I've always thought that the most important thing women looked for in a man was several really high-limit credit cards :-).
Unfortunately, a lot of women are like that in Canada and the States. You have to select very, very carefully. Aim a little higher - women in higher positions that make a good living on their own and don't need your "really high-limit credit cards". Find one that has her own "really high-limit credit cards", but make sure you're her equal. No woman or man wants to be dominated or felt like they aren't on your level. STOP ME, I'M DOING IT AGAIN.
> I like to get out into the mountains away from all the people, hence the 4x4 truck...
I used to go camping etc. a lot. I love the outdoors. The only problem I'm having lately are that most of my friends aren't single anymore and it's hard to drag them out. I've just recently found the courage to go play pool by myself and I even went to a bar by myself last week. I was smart though - I took my notebook, sat at the bar, and did a lot of writing. I just wanted to be with people, and I didn't want anyone to start in on me or think I was there for any other reason than to be out and have a drink or two or three, etc. Did it once, but I don't know if I can do it again. Chicken-shit!!
> I like "eh?". I also like "oot and aboot"… Canadian accents…
Oot and aboot??? Don't forget, Toronto is east, and we don't really have accents here. When I worked in Edmonton, they said I talked funny. I have a hard time telling the difference between my accent and what I hear on American TV. The western provinces are very anti-east. They think we have too much - that's because we've worked for it, and we have the population. Buffalo is just south of us, and I have noticed a difference in their accents, but only certain words.
> … drives me insane is "like,". That and "What... Ever."
Like really?? Like, like I know what you like mean. Where the hell did this like-crap come from. It sends shivers down my back when I hear it. A lot of rappers talk this way too. I think it's a sign of a lack of education. Not that I'm that well-educated, but I've done enough to know better. Like, you know what I mean? What… Ever!!
Anyway, it's 12:30 and I have to go to bed - gotta get up at 5:00 am to do the dog duties.
Talk to ya later.
Norah
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Fri, Nov 22, 1996, 06:14 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Another Hi?
Hey Jason,
Was just wondering - your last name sounds French. Is it??
Lucky you, being able to access Internet at work. We have it too, but for some reason - I can't get in. Maybe they know better and kept me off.
We're upgrading one of our 7 AS/400's from CISC to RISC this weekend and I guess I got the short straw and I'm on call all weekend. Only problem with this is everyone's new and I know I'm going to be paged a lot. This restricts my weekend activities a great deal. Can't solve problems when you've had too much or are hung-over, so I'm playing it cool this weekend. Yeah - I don't normally do too much of that anyway.
Just thought I'd send you a quick note in case you got bored this weekend and want to talk - I'll be here.
Have a good day.
Norah
PS. If you get really bored in Mormon-Ville - you can always call me and talk to a real person. See ya and don't work too hard because I'll be looking after that department.
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Fri, Nov 22, 1996, 08:34 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Like Hi, eh?
Howdy.
You know, I started saying "howdy" to make fun of the rednecks around here who said "howdy". Now I'm a person who says "howdy". I'm afraid I'm also a person who says "like," but I'm trying to quit. (Maybe they need a patch for that.)
I'm afraid that some of these messages are going to choke our mail server. Instead of quoting your entire message, I'll cut some parts out and tell you what part I'm responding to. You do remember what you were talking about, don't you?
> The brain is the most seductive part of a person. Don't sell yourself short.
I can believe that, assuming that you and the person you're trying to seduce / be seduced by both have a good mind. However, I've been told by a couple of women that they found me intimidating because I was so smart. I knew a girl in high school who was a complete genius, yet she pretended to be just another "ditzy chick" so she could get dates. (Not that she needed to do that -- every guy I know who's seen her thinks she's gorgeous.) I can't pretend to be dumber than I am because I lose all self-respect.
> … moved to Fort Nelson, BC
I'm pretty sure we went through Fort Nelson when we flew up to Alaska. The name sounds familiar, anyway.
< … wearing coveralls, work boots and hard hat
Speaking of feminine... 🙂
> learning to drive a Ford by doing it
Wow, quick study. It took me quite a lot more time than that to figure out how to get the Jeep moving. Of course, the fact that my dad was sitting there constantly giving instructions and making me nervous didn't help. I didn't want to drive his "first child" into a ditch or anything.
> Have been in love with trucks ever since.
Well, I just realized how attached I am to mine. I got the Nissan[22] I'll be driving down to Vegas this weekend. I hate it already. I feel like I'm driving a go-kart. I would take the Dakota, but I put it in a lower gear so I could hear the engine at freeway rpms without the wind noise, and it sounds like it's working really hard to keep 75 mph (120 kph). I like my truck too much to put it through that for nine hours straight on two days in a row.
> all about your Dakota
Sounds like a beautiful truck. I'm glad to hear there's no chrome, since I'm allergic to it (well, not really, but I wish I were so I would have an excuse to avoid it). Mine is a white '95 Sport regular cab 4x4, V6, 5 speed, no a/c (hopefully to be remedied in spring). I've only had it since the first of September. I didn't really choose it as much as it chose me. I had had the four-wheel-drive disease since spring and was looking around for something I could afford. My first choices were either a Dakota or a Jeep Cherokee (the one that looks like a box, not the Grand). There were almost no Dakotas in the paper or any of the used vehicle circulars. Those I did see disappeared immediately. Jeeps were a little out of my price range. I was looking around at other pickups -- Nissan, Mazda[23], Toyota, and Ford mainly (no Chevys for sale either). Mostly I wanted to see if I could live with one of them. I went into a dealership in Salt Lake to test out a Ford Ranger (it was a piece of junk) and when I got back, I turned around and saw this big white Dodge up on an elevated platform (I think it spoke to me). I asked how much it was, and the sales doofus told me it was the same price as the Ford. It was actually a thousand more dollars than he told me, but they gave me a thousand more for the Neon than I was expecting.
The previous owner was apparently some sort of cowboy. He smoked in it (blech), and he had a bunch of little "Bad Boy Club" and assorted mean growly face stickers all over it. I pulled them all off -- not really my style. It also has a "moon visor" over the cab, with some orange lights in it to make it look like a junior semi. This I wouldn't have added myself as it serves no real purpose, but it doesn't look too bad. (My motto is "function over fashion".) It had 17,500 miles (over 28,000 km) on it when I got it. I'm almost up to 21,000 (33,800 km). Since my parents and most of my friends are in Salt Lake, I drive up there between one and three times every weekend.
I have a picture of it if you're interested in checking it out. It's in JPEG format. You can FTP my address and check out my truck. I was thinking of uploading this pic to the mailing list web site, but then decided to wait until I get the new bigger tires on it.
And *you* were worried about rambling?
> Don't sell yourself short…
Actually, the advice I need to be listening to is what my friends keep telling me: "Don't be such a chicken shit, just go over there and talk to her." Right, no problem. Now I just need to convince my feet.
> Honesty! Haven't heard that from a man in a long time. What planet do you come from??
Vulcan, remember?
> leech of a husband
Ouch. Every time I start thinking that women are spiteful, manipulative and not to be trusted, I hear a story like yours that reminds me that men are the same way. Sounds to me like you're much better off without him.
> Problem was he couldn't handle being with a woman that was smart…
I had a friend just like that. Everybody hated his girlfriend. His mom called this girl "bucket of hair" because that's how smart she was. She wasn't at all attractive or nice either. We concluded that he just couldn't deal with smart women. Me, I would love to find someone as smart or smarter than I am. I just can't talk to dumb people. Not that I'm an elitist or anything... wait a minute, I guess I *am* an elitist. I can live with that.
Come to think of it, I haven't seen that guy in quite a while. Can't say I've missed him.
> Sorry for spilling all this crap on you…
Well, as long as we're being open, I might as well go into detail about my life. I've already alluded to it. This is going to sound really whiny and pathetic, but here goes...
I've had a total of one relationship in my life. Lasted just under a month, barely qualifying as a relationship. This was in November of 1991, my first quarter of college. She's the only girl I've ever kissed, and that's as physical as I've ever gotten with anyone. I can't seem to figure out why I'm so afraid to walk up to someone and ask her out. I used to think I was afraid of being turned down, but I suppose it's possible that I'm afraid she'll say "yes", and then what am I going to do? 🙂 I just get really self-conscious and nervous when I'm around women. I can't think of anything to say. I'm actually shy around anyone I don't know very well, it's just much worse when it happens to be an attractive woman.
Bleah. I know that what I need to do is just get over it and, like the shoe commercial says, "just do it". If I can survive the first stage, I'll be fine. Of course, there's still the challenge of finding anyone in Utah over the age of 18 who isn't married, but that's just difficult, not impossible.
> … lack of Toronto accents
I didn't realize you were that far east. For some strange reason, I had it in my head that Toronto was over near the north end of Lake Superior (no, Jason).
The accent is strongest up in the Yukon. I saw a movie called "Strange Brew[24]" a few years ago (apparently based on a TV show called "The McKenzie Brothers[25]") and thought they were really exaggerating the accents until I got up into the Yukon. It was all my brother, and I could do to keep from laughing. I like the accent, but it does sound a little comical at times.
> Like really?? Like, like I know what you like mean. Where the hell did this like crap come from.
California. Crap like this filters out of there and disperses around the rest of the nation. I've had a couple of previews of what they're doing down there now, and I'm going to have a hard time not strangling people during the next few years.
> Anyway, it's 12:30 and I have to go to bed….
Yeah, my cat thinks 5:00 is breakfast time. He starts walking on my head about that time. I make him wait until 6:00, but then I go back to bed for another hour.
Let's see, I've got another message here someplace...
> Was just wondering - your last name sounds French. Is it??
I don't think you're pronouncing it right. The 'e' is silent, and "Bleazard" rhymes with "hazard". It's English. My grandmother is into genealogy in a huge way, and I was helping her computerize it a few years ago. Apparently there's actually a Bleazard Castle near Bath, England. I don't know how big it is. She also tracked down the family crest.
Nobody gets that name right without coaching. If someone does, it always turns out that they know somebody else with the same name.
> … access Internet at work.
I wonder how long it'll take the company to figure out they should probably cut me off as well. Until they do, I'll keep using it.
Sounds like your weekend is planned for you. I'll probably be out of touch in Vegas until Tuesday. Have a good weekend on call and I'll e-mail you when I get back.
I would love to call and talk to you, but I had a rather nasty experience with the phone company recently. ATI Technologies is in Canada, and I didn't realize that they charge international rates until I spent a couple of hours on ATI's non-toll free technical support line during daylight hours. Talk about a huge phone bill. I'm pretty competent with computers, and I don't bother to call tech support unless it's a real mystery. To their credit, they're the only tech support people from whom I've ever learned anything I didn't already know, but they still couldn't figure out what was going on. I just ended up buying a newer ATI card to replace the one that didn't work.
Hey, you know, I came back to work tonight for a reason. I was going to try and get some work done, strange as that sounds.
Until later...
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Sat, Nov 23, 1996, 03:07 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Like Hi, eh?
Hey Jason,
Hope you got a lot of time to read - I was in one of my lengthy e-mail moods. How was the concert?? Geddy still sound the same?? Meet any girls??
> I've been told by a couple of women that they found me intimidating because I was so smart.
Then you're talking to the wrong women.
> … I've had a total of one relationship in my life. Lasted just under a month.
So what! Many people are in the same boat. Relationships are not always what they're cracked up to be. Stop looking for intimacy and look for friendship first. Find a woman you can talk to and have fun with and become good friends. Everything else falls into place later. If you go out looking for a girlfriend, your expectations become hard to fill. They may have the looks, but not the personality, or the personality and not the looks. It's because you're trying to find someone to fill the job of girlfriend and it's not a job that can be filled with a resume of qualifications. But when you get to really know someone, you soon discover that looks are a very small part of a person, but of course it doesn't hurt.
> … afraid of rejection and self-esteem
Boy can I relate! When my ex and I split, my self-image, self-esteem and confidence flew right out the window. After therapy, I discovered that he systematically destroyed these qualities over time. Even though they were quite weak when we met. I never had enough confidence in myself to meet guys on my own level or higher. I always picked those far below me because it made me feel safe. I too, was one of the women that were scared off by men smarter than me. I didn't think I could measure up, so it was easier to go the opposite route. It couldn't have been further from the truth.
If 2 people can't talk and relate on the same level, there isn't much left except for resentment and usually leads to a co-dependent relationship. Trust me, I learned all this is therapy. I also learned how to visualize. She got me to visualize not what I want, but what I deserve. You play this tape over and over in your head and you naturally start attracting these types of people to you. Now my attitude is - I just don't give a crap (pardon me). I know who I am and where I'm coming from - if you don't like it, that's your problem and learn how to deal with it bud. It may sound conceited, but it's not. I'm not that great. I always used to worry about what people thought of me such as: hair (is it too long?), height (am I too short?), weight (should lose a few?), brains (am I smart enough?), etc., etc., etc. This has a lot to do with why I had a bad marriage.
This change in my attitude has attracted a lot of the right people. I get far too many offers at work from men who never noticed me before. Unfortunately, a lot of them are married and it's been difficult sorting it all out, so I've chosen not to bother with anyone. For now.
Bet you didn't think you'd get all this kind of advice when you originally e-mailed me back. Ha!! I think we've having a competition on who can write longer e-mail. I really don't know who's ahead now.
>> first day of work, wearing coveralls, work boots and hard hat,
> Speaking of feminine... 🙂
Yah, yah, I know. My dad believed that it was important for me to learn as much about everything that I possibly could. He always told me never to count on other people to help you out with anything, learn to do it for yourself. I was an assistant corrosion technician at the gas plant and learned how to use tools properly, got over my fear of heights, how to drive and had a lot of fun. Mind you, I almost lost my life twice - that wasn't so much fun. It was only for 4 months - but what a learning experience.
> …. chrome on vehicles.
Who decided that chrome was a good thing??? I'd like to meet that person who has all this free time to polish and avoid all those ugly rust spots.
> your Dakota
Sounds nice too. I always wanted a 4x4 V8, but I don't feel like spending the extra money on the truck and the insurance. I don't know about there, but here they hit you hard with 4x4's.
> I didn't really choose it as much as it chose me.
My Dakota chose me as well, or should I say - was chosen for me. When I originally came back from Edmonton with my '93, I called the dealership and just casually inquired about trading it in for a '95. I never chose the '93, he did. It was blue and nice enough, but my heart really wasn't in it. I always wanted a black truck. The dealer took all the info and called me back - I told them no, as I was just inquiring and was satisfied with what I had. When I had an appointment to replace one of my rotors - the truck of my dreams was parked on the front lawn of the dealership all by itself (where there are never any vehicles parked). I had to drive by it to get to the service bay. Needless to say, I traded it in that day. They had specifically ordered the one I wanted and put it there the day I was coming in. Very good sales tactics, I must admit. My ex thought I was nuts to spend all this extra money etc. - but I finally got what I wanted. It was worth it to drive around proud and happy.
I was going to take pictures of it this weekend, but of course it's grey outside and we have snow/rain coming down hard. Figures, the only time it's nice out is when I'm at work.
> The previous owner was apparently some sort of cowboy. He smoked in it (blech)
Ooops! I smoke. The only bad habit I have left. Well, not really, but I'm not quitting till I'm ready. Too many people (my ex especially) nagged me and all it does is make me smoke more. I know it's a disgusting habit - but it's not that easy to give up. Peer pressure from high-school days.
> pictures of my Dakota
I tried checking it out, but I'm having a problem with my FTP. I keep getting error messages and I don't know enough about these little computers to try and figure it out myself. Problems at work with the bigger systems have stolen every logical thought and problem solving techniques I ever had. It will take a day or two for my brain to stop hurting.
> And *you* were worried about rambling?
Yes I am, I just can't seem to shut up.
> I didn't realize you were that far east...
On the shore of Lake Ontario.
> The accent is strongest up in the Yukon
Canadian movies, Canadian bands… I don't know - seems as if you like us up here.
> I would love to call and talk to you, but...
Your provider doesn't have a toll-free line?? OUCH!! I keep forgetting that not everyone works for a communications company and gets the perks. I get 75% off all my calls from home, but I never use my home service as I have a company phonecard, and they pay for everything. But one of these days they'll figure out that not all these calls are business-related. Until then - dial on. I also get these phonecards with limited time. I have a few of them floating around the house - I always forget to use them. Plus, most of my long distance calls to friends that have 1-800 numbers at work, and we use them a lot. If I ever find one of the cards on my desk of nightmares at home, I'll give you the number to dial for free service. That's if you still want to talk to me after finding out that I smoke??? Oh yeah - and I drink too!!
See ya,
Norah
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Tue, Nov 26, 1996, 03:36 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Like Hi, eh?
Hey Norah,
> Hope you got a lot of time to read - I was in one of my lengthy e-mail moods.
Always. It's not the reading that takes the time, it's the replying. And it's my own fault that takes so long because I'm such a perfectionist that I have to go through it three times.
> How was the concert?? Geddy still sound the same??
The concert was great. There was no opening band, just three hours of Rush. If you're asking if Geddy still sounds like a woman, he sure does. I thought he was a woman when I first heard him.
Las Vegas, on the other hand, is essentially a large gaping hole in the earth. It's nowhere nearly as neat as it looks in the movies (whatever is?).
> Meet any girls??
Nope. There was one right in front of us who was pretty cute, but she was married. There was another girl in the next section and about six or seven rows further down (this put her almost right between us and the stage) who we had a lot of fun watching. She was obviously a drummer, since she was not only playing "air drums" and keeping up with Neil, but she was hitting them all in the correct relative positions. She was having a ball through the whole show. We thought about trying to figure out a way to get her away from the skinny guy she was with but couldn't figure out a good reason to try other than just to see if we could.
>> I've been told by a couple of women that they found me intimidating because I was so smart.
> Then you're talking to the wrong women.
Apparently. The next question is, "where do I find the right women, Norah?" Maybe I need to go hang around the medical school at the University of Utah and find a future doctor :-).
Actually, I am planning on going back to graduate school, where I'm hoping I should be able to find some really smart women with whom I share many interests. Remind me to tell you about grad school when I get a little more time.
> Stop looking for intimacy and look for friendship first. Find a woman you can talk to and have fun with and become good friends. Everything else falls into place later.
That sounds great, but in reality I usually get the "I don't want to mess up our great friendship" routine. I don't want to mess up the friendship either. Once you've been friends for a while anything more seems really weird. I guess that just means it wasn't "meant to be". There's got to be a middle ground someplace.
BTW, I just wanted to make sure you don't get the impression from my last mail that I sit around and dwell on how empty my life is because I don't have a significant other in it. I was just a little depressed about it the other night when I was writing you. Of course, I would love to find somebody, and it seems like I'm always looking around for potential prospects, but it's not my number one mission in life. I've known too many guys who define themselves in terms of how pretty their girlfriends are or how many phone numbers they can get at a party with no intention of ever calling any of them. I think I'm one of the very few people who would rather be single than settle for someone by whom I wasn't totally fascinated just for the sake of having someone.
> … bad marriage… low self-esteem…
How long were you and the ex married? How long ago did you split? Sounds like you went through some pretty tough times afterward. I get the impression that you've got a lot of confidence back, which is great. I hope you eventually find someone who can really appreciate you. If you ever stop enjoying the single lifestyle, that is.
Don't apologize for your language. You should hear the way I talk.
I have to admit, I do worry quite a bit about what people think of me. I think this is where my perfectionist streak comes from: if I can't do something perfectly, I don't want to do it because I might wind up looking silly trying. I'm a lot better with this than I used to be. My best friend in college was the same way. We created a new "religion" (why not call it that, since there are really only two religions in Utah: Mormon and miscellaneous). Our "Prime Directive" was: Don't be an asshole. Basically, this boiled down to our desire not to make annoyances of ourselves. We ended up just bending to whatever other people wanted a lot. He realized that this wasn't a good thing, and decided not to be self-centered, but just to start doing some things which were good for himself more often. We started from there and kept going. Now we sound like Dennis Leary a lot of the time: "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck them, and fuck you." It's mostly just talk, but I have realized that I have to stand up for myself because nobody else is going to.
> … married people
If they're married and they're giving you offers, something tells me they're not the right people. I steer clear of women who have steady boyfriends, let alone husbands. I look at it this way: if she leaves him for me, she was probably just staying with him until someone better came along. Who is to say she isn't going to do the same thing to me?
> Bet you didn't think you'd get all this kind of advice when you originally e-mailed me back.
No, but I was hoping. It's good to get the female point of view, since men (myself included) are idiots where relationships are concerned.
Not to change the subject or anything...
> … chrome on vehicles
There's that, but mostly I don't really like the way it looks. I think it's just gaudy. I prefer the low-profile flat black Darth Vader look. You can get away with a lot more if you're less conspicuous :-).
My insurance went up about seven dollars a month from the Neon for the same coverage. It's not terrible. Around town, I would like to have a club cab, the V8 and an automatic. 4x4 would be nice for snow, but not necessary. However, I bought my truck because I wanted to take it off road, and there I want the shorter wheelbase of the regular cab and the 5 speed to control descents. The V8 doesn't really buy that much off road, so the V6 is fine. I can put up with a little less comfort and convenience for 355 days out of the year if it means I can explore more places when I do get out into the mountains.
I think I shall need two pickups. And a Jeep. And a sports car. And a motorcycle, an airplane, a boat, and a huge garage to put it all in. Yes, rampant Western consumerism is alive and well in Utah, thank you very much.
[clever sales tactic]
They get you every way they can, don't they?
> … but I finally got what I wanted.
Everybody I know thinks I was nuts to trade in the Neon after little more than a year with it. I originally wanted a 4x4, but when I got the job in Orem and thought about driving one 145 km per day, I thought I should get something a little more efficient. My uncle was working at one of the local Dodge dealerships, so I just went with a fuel-efficient Dodge.
Actually, the introduction of the Neon was what started me thinking about getting a new car upon graduation. I had another year to go, so I spent it collecting as much information as I possibly could and test driving everything I could afford. By the time I was getting serious, it was down to either a 4x4 (Dakota or Cherokee) or a little sports car (Honda[26] Prelude, Mazda Miata[27], etc.). Every time somebody parked any of those next to my Neon, I kept thinking how much I wished I had one. I'm much happier now. Although I still want a Miata to drive on sunny days (but I'm not giving up my truck for one).
> … snow/rain coming down hard.
I sure wish it would snow here. I just bought this whole 4x4 truck and the weather isn't even going to let me try it out. It's been teasing me a little, but it's just been sunny and mild lately.
> Ooops! I smoke
I don't have a problem with smoking. I just didn't like the stale year-old smell of cigarettes in my new truck. I put an air freshener on the case, and it cleared right up.
Many of my friend’s smoke. I seem to have a really addictive personality, so I'm not going to try it. I think I would probably be hooked after about the second cigarette. Basically, it's an "I don't, but don't mind if you do" sort of thing. Also, my dad smoked up until I was about fourteen. I think that cured me of wanting to start.
[Canadian movies, Canadian bands...]
Not to mention the Red Green[28] Show. I love Canada. I also love England and their television (Monty Python[29], Dr. Who[30], Red Dwarf[31], Blackadder[32], Mr. Bean[33], Waiting for God[34], etc., etc.) The only American shows I have much patience for anymore are Star Trek and Babylon 5.
Speaking of Star Trek, the new movie is pretty cool. I'll probably see it a few more times. I did have to force myself to wait until the very end to start picking apart the plot holes, even though this one was much better than many. It's still entertaining, but I wish they would at least try to patch some of them. My disbelief only gets suspended so far.
I decided that I'm not nearly as big of a nerd as I previously thought. The entire theater was cheering the crew on, shouting encouragement, and chanting along with the clichés. Also, they had a preview for the re-release of the Star Wars series. Having grown up on Star Wars[35], I thought I was pretty excited about this until I heard the reaction of a theater full of real science fiction nerds.
Don't get me wrong. Nerds are great people. Most of us are honest to a fault and we all have things in common to talk about (computers, science fiction, trucks...). Yes, you too are a nerd. Admit it.
> Your provider doesn't have a toll-free line?? OUCH!!
I'm not sure what to think of that statement. By "provider" do you mean my long distance company, or something else? They might have a toll-free line for all I know. I never thought to try to find one. Now I want to.
> … long distance phone calls
I'm pretty sure that our 800 number here at work will only get you direct to technical support. That won't do you much good. At any rate, you have to go through the receptionists, and they're bound to notice that I'm getting personal calls on the 800 line. It's kind of hard to hide this sort of thing in a company that only employs 125 people. I like the small-company atmosphere, though.
If you have a way to call down here without spending a fortune, I’ll send you my number.
> That's if you still want to talk to me after finding out that I smoke and I drink too!!
Absolutely. Like I said, it doesn't bother me. I drink quite a bit, or at least I used to. I managed to make myself pretty sick back in March and still haven't recovered. I have a friend who drinks like a fish, and like an idiot, I try to keep up with him. When he says, "I'll bet I can drink twelve cold fusions faster than YOU!" I say, "I'm pretty sure I can't even drink twelve of those, but it'll be fun to find out!" I later had to ask the people I was with what drinks I had, because I can't remember. I spent the next day alternating between kneeling before the porcelain altar and sitting in my living room watching the sunlight coming through the window move across the floor, because that was the fastest thing I wanted to deal with. My addictive personality and I were starting to drink alone (not to get drunk, just a rum & coke or two) up until then, so it might be a good thing that I haven't been drinking as much. I guess I'm getting too old to drink like that. (That's just what you wanted to hear from a 23-year-old, isn't it? 🙂
All right. I'm going to have to get back to work eventually. I could keep this up for most of the day, but I really shouldn't. Talk to you later.
-- Jason
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Tue, Nov 26, 1996, 06:42 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: Like Hi, eh?
Jason,
If you're still at work, e-mail me back.
I've done everything (except for work that I brought home) that I HAVE to do tonight so I wanted to give you a call, but I don't know what time.
Let me know.
Norah
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Tue, Nov 26, 1996, 04:47 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Like Hi, eh? -Reply
Yeah, I'm still here. I will be until at least 6:00 mountain time (it's quarter to five now.) Any time after 7:00 would be great. You're welcome to call before that, but you'll have to listen to me eating dinner.
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Wed, Nov 27, 1996, 12:56 AM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Good Morning
Hi Jason,
You wanted mail - so be prepared. I will write till you get sick and tell me enough already!!!
Did you make your coffee before you went to bed??
I really enjoyed talking to you last night. You have a very pleasant voice on the phone. You seem very intelligent with a great sense of humor. I just wanted you to know that. By the way, you have a great laugh too. These are important qualities that will hold any woman's interest.
> don't get the impression from my last mail that I sit around and dwell on how empty my life is...
Trust me I don't! We all have bad days and I've had my share on the weekends. As I told you, that's my weakest time - when I'm home alone for too long. I've grown to depend on your e-mail to keep me company. Now it's my turn to possibly give you the wrong impression.
> I have to admit, I do worry quite a bit about what people think of me...
Well, you don't have to worry about what I think, because I think you're a great guy even though we've never met. Very few people can make me laugh, so you can take credit for that. Why are you still single? If I was a couple of years younger, I'd go after you myself. You're a cool guy. So there!
I'm looking at my desk again and wondering if this could possibly be my project for this weekend. OH GOD, I think it may have to be, I lost my cell phone under all this. I'll just have to call myself to find it.
I may not be organized with my desk, but you should see what I've done in Microsoft[36] Schedule+. I think I've planned out a whole year - even set reminders to take the garbage out. Pretty bad, don't you think? I almost said "EH".
Oh yes, I caught myself saying "EH" a couple of times last night. Did you catch them??? You didn't comment on it - I'm surprised!! Guess you didn't feel comfortable, possibly hurting my feelings.
> advice from me… No, but I was hoping. It's good to get the female point of view
Well, some men, but not all. Feel free to ask my point of view anytime and stop calling yourself an idiot. I don't associate with idiots. Well, I used to, but I've grown up a bit this year. So don't put yourself down because if you do it too much, even as a joke, your subconscious picks up on it. This I know, as I used to do it all the time myself.
> I prefer the low-profile flat black Darth Vader look. You can get away with a lot more if you're less conspicuous :-).
Why do you want to be less conspicuous? Doing any surveillance work??? Can't do it with my truck - daytime running lights.
> I decided that I'm not nearly as big of a nerd as I previously thought.
How could anyone who likes trucks and rock 'n roll be considered a nerd?? What exactly is a nerd?? Someone who likes computers and sci-fi? Well, that makes a large part of the population. I guess we are all nerds then.
> Don't get me wrong. Nerds are great people. Most of us are honest to a fault and we all have things in common to talk about (computers, science fiction, trucks...). Yes, you too are a nerd. Admit it.
I guess I don't have a choice - I'll join the general population of normal people/nerds.
In a previous e-mail, I mentioned to you about finding a girlfriend wasn't like applying for a job. I found something I wrote to a fellow employee. I guess you'll see that I put my foot in my mouth again. Read on...
*****************************
I would like to apply for the position of "friend". Please peruse my resume below:
PROFILE
Professional, with years of experience in friend-related fields.
STRENGTHS
Enthusiastic * Effective Listener & Talker * Diplomatic * Tactful * Able to give and take constructive criticism * Able to give advice if requested * Good judge of character * Excellent sense of humor
WEAKNESSES
Too honest * Too sensitive * unable to let go of friendships * Too giving * Sometimes procrastinate (not often) * don't like rejections (who does?)
PROFESSIONAL HISTORY
Have maintained long-lasting friendships (both male and female) from the many different jobs that I have held and outside interests.
INTERESTS
Hobbies include learning my PC (big surprise - but I'm not used to the little ones), Music, Science Fiction (another surprise - most computer people like SCI-FI), Astronomy, Photography, Oil Painting, Creative Writing (many poems and one novel in the works) and my most favorites are playing pool and driving my 95' Dodge Dakota Sport Club Cab V6. (Too bad working for my current job doesn't leave much time or energy for anything else but my PC, driving and playing pool. The dogs take up a lot of my time too.)
REFERENCES
Available upon request.
*****************************
So - do I get the job?????
Jason, STOP LAUGHING!!!
Gee, how long is this e-mail now?? Not long enough. Let's see. It's 12:50 a.m. and I still haven’t gone to bed. If I was more awake, I could make this much, much longer - but I know I'm going to pay tomorrow so I'm going to shut this PC down and be a good girl and go off to bed.
See ya.
Norah
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Wed, Nov 27, 1996, 02:54 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: You wanted mail??
Jason, Jason, Jason,
Well, I can only tell you that I was extremely tired today and it’s all your fault. Just kidding. I got up in time, but everything was happening in slow motion. I grabbed my coffee and off to work I went. Of all days, the 401 (the main highway that goes east/west) was closed due to what, I don’t know. But for some reason, everyone discovered my route to work. I never take the 401, as my route is faster -- 10-15 minutes and I’m there. Today it took over an hour and I averaged 15 kmh all the way. This was the pits.
Ok, I get in to work and everyone asks me why I’m so tired and quiet. I never gave anyone an answer, and they saw your phone number written on my cigarette pack. First thing Mick says to me is: "Who’s this Jason guy, where did you meet him and why are you so tired?" All I said was just a friend, never mind and up late. These guys are very protective of me and want to screen everyone I come into contact with.
I even caught one of them going through the 'company national directory' looking for anyone called Jason. I didn’t have the heart to ruin their fun, so I let them continue thinking whatever they want. I’ll burst their bubbles later. I’m going to have to be careful from now on - because if ever do meet anyone that I’m interested in, the poor guy is going to have to get their approval. They know what I went through, and my ex has been very lucky that he’s still in one piece. Their motto is "No One Hurts Our Norah". I really have to thank these guys for all the support they’ve given me over the last few months. They’ve kept me busy and out of trouble, which really wasn’t part of their job, but it sure kept me from doing stupid things.
Anyway, I'm home now and I'm waiting to see if you respond.
Norah
P.S. I sent you some mail earlier this morning, but it was to your other e-mail address.
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Wed, Nov 27, 1996, 02:48 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: You wanted mail?? -Reply
Sounds like I'm causing quite a fuss. It seems like if they saw my number written down, it shouldn't take them too long to realize that 801 is in Utah. Jason is a fairly common name, and I think they're going to find quite a few of them in the directory.
It's good to have somebody to look out for you. My friends keep trying to get me to take more risks. Maybe I should, but I can't get over the nagging feeling that they're just pulling my chain by trying to see what stupid tricks they can get me to pull. I'm the same way. Guys can't really express affection for each other, so we insult each other and try to get each other in trouble. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?
Sorry for keeping you up late. I forgot about the time difference. However, it wasn't my fault that you decided to stay up for another hour and write me another message. So don't blame me for that one.
> Did you make your coffee before you went to bed??
No, I forgot. I don't have to get up for work again until next Monday, so we'll see if I remember then.
> I really enjoyed talking to you last night.
Thank you. I enjoyed talking to you as well. It's nice to occasionally meet a woman with whom I share some common interests. Most of the women I meet around here don't really like computers, science fiction, science, or vehicles (especially trucks). I've actually caught myself talking about the weather once I run out of jokes.
> If I was a couple of years younger, I'd go after you myself. You're a cool guy. So there!
Wow. Thank you again. I wonder if you have any idea how good it is to hear you say that. Say, are there any universities in the Toronto area that have good graduate programs in astronomy? 🙂
[your messy desk]
I have this image of this monster pile of paper lurking in the corner that's taking on a life of its own. When you're not around, it eats desks, phonecards, and cell phones. In the words of Londo Mollari, you "need to kill it before it develops language skills."
[Microsoft Schedule+.]
I tried to use something like that once. I was tempted to put "get up, go to work" on every day. I decided if that was the most interesting thing I had to put into a scheduler, I didn't really need one.
> … caught myself saying "EH" a couple of times last night.
No, I totally missed that. After you claimed not to use it very much, I don't think I could have let you get away with it. I guess I was listening more to what you were saying than to how you were saying it.
> … stop calling yourself an idiot
I don't feel like an idiot, but I really don't understand women, so I thought it was the most likely conclusion. That or my cynical friends who tell me that women are incapable of rational behavior until well after the age of 25 are actually on to something.
[being less conspicuous?]
Actually, that comes from when I used to drive 135 kph in the Neon. I felt uncomfortable attracting too much attention to myself. It worked, because I've only been pulled over twice, both times by the University of Utah[37] “kampus klown kops”. Once because I didn't signal long enough before changing lanes and once because I had snow covering up my license plate.
[trucks, rock 'n roll, computers, sci-fi, and nerds]
What is music? It's like any other sound, a propagation of kinetic energy through an elastic medium. Only music is interpreted by the human brain as pleasing. There's a lot of math and science involved. Instruments, amplifiers, and recordings all involve technology. Lots of stuff to keep nerds interested.
I tend to over-use the term "nerd". This is really simplistic, but in my mind, most people seem to be oriented toward one end or the other of the self-interest scale.
On one end are those who look at any situation and think "how can this benefit me?" They don't care how something works, only what good it is to them. They view personal relationships in terms of potential benefit to them. They don't really care what they're doing, as long as they're making good money, or it makes them look good in the eyes of somebody important. They're competitive. They make good car salesmen, lawyers, businessmen and politicians.
On the other end are those who are more interested in the world and the way it works. They do things they think are interesting. They associate with people because they find people interesting and want to learn more about them. They are fascinated by how things work, even if they don't have any practical use. They make good artists, musicians, engineers, or scientists.
Like I said, this is a huge stereotype. I know that everybody has different amounts of both motivations. I tend to be much more the latter. I don't have any better word, but "nerd" is already out there. That already has some extreme connotations, so I guess it's not really the best description.
It's not like I wear duct-taped glasses, horrific ties, and pocket protectors. I like t-shirts, sweatshirts, and jeans. Comfort over fashion, you might say. I am capable of dressing up when the occasion calls for it. Work does not.
[friend resume]
That's good. What did the person you sent it to think? Reminds me of "date applications" I've seen in humor books, which look like job applications. You're supposed to fill in physical characteristics, references, and answer a bunch of questions, like "do you smoke? If so, from where?"
> Jason, STOP LAUGHING!!!
What? Oh, sorry. <snicker>
Did you ever try to look up the truck picture I scanned in? In case you didn't catch what I was babbling about, I’ll give you the address again.
Jeez, given the holiday tomorrow, today sure seems like a Friday. Only half of our group is here today. It's hard to motivate myself to actually do any work. I'm going to be miserable when the deadline starts approaching and I'm sitting at work for thirteen hours a day, seven days a week.
That's why we have coffee, I suppose.
Talk to you later,
-- Jason
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Wed, Nov 27, 1996, 07:08 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Re: You wanted mail?? –Reply
> Sounds like I'm causing quite a fuss.
No fuss - they were just too quick and missed the area code. We use two different ones here - 416 & 905. It's very common to see phone numbers with area codes always attached. And you'd be surprised to know there are only 5 Jason's there. Each one is getting questioned. I can't help but laugh. And you thought that women were curious - surprise!!
I got my 2nd telephone line installed today so now my PC has its own phone. What a relief. He finished hooking everything up by 3:30 and I noticed that the roads were dry, and the sun was shining. Good time for a car wash and pictures. So, I went out and did it. My camera hasn't been used for a while, so I just hope they turn out. If they do, I'll take them into work and get them scanned and loaded to the home page.
> Guys can't really express affection for each other
Well, not really but that's just the way it is. Can't change basic nature.
> Sorry for keeping you up late.
I was just teasing. I don't blame anyone for anything. I'm in control of my life and could have hung up anytime I wanted to. I just didn't want to!! I have to admit that last night's phone conversation was the longest I've ever talked to anyone. You are very easy to talk to and a lot more interesting than you give yourself credit for.
> … make your coffee… No, I forgot. I don't have to get up for work again until next Monday, so we'll see if I remember then.
I'll remind you.
> … any universities in the Toronto area that have good graduate programs in astronomy?
A great one - University of Toronto[38] - it's massive and quite extensive. There are campuses all across the city.
[my desk developing language skills]
It's not as bad as I made it sound. There are two major piles. One work related and the other my own crap (mostly for the PC). I still can't get the hang of how to set up my fax for incoming. Sending isn't a problem.
> … put "get up, go to work" on every day. I decided if that was the most interesting thing I had to put into a scheduler, I didn't really need one.
I almost got to that point, but I stopped myself - too weird!
> I guess I was listening more to what you were saying than to how you were saying it.
How nice - a guy who listens to what is being said - another refreshing change. You are definitely changing my opinion of men. I guess there are some decent ones out there after all.
> I've only been pulled over twice, both times by the University of Utah kampus klown kops.....
Yep, the WANNA-BE's. I've only been pulled over that one time - and you know all about the outcome of that.
> What is music?
Slow down, this is the time of night where my brain shuts down (power-saver mode). Some nights it’s hard to concentrate on “1 + 1”. I have to read this very slowly.
> On the other end are those who are more interested in the world and the way it works…
Guess I'm that way. Love people and love to learn. It's because I trust people and give everyone the benefit of the doubt, that gets me in trouble every time. As strange as it may sound, I've even managed to learn things from stupid people.
Determination and Problem solving are my specialty. Whenever I discover a problem (home or at work) I can't let go until 1) It's resolved, 2) why did it happen & 3) how can I prevent this from happening again.
> Comfort over fashion, you might say.
Jeans & t-shirts -- my favorites as well. Only problem is now that I'm on straight days, I have to dress up. But I still wear my runners to work. May be a bit strange - dress pants and Nike’s - but that's me. There is just too much running around to do and in the computer room it's not advisable to wear anything else. The raised floor has holes where the A/C comes up. Wouldn't want to get heels stuck in there...
> … friend resume… That's good. What did the person you sent it to think?
Thanks. I sent it to someone in Kansas City that I've never met. We've been working together for about a year over the phone. I faxed it to him, and he didn't get back to me for about a week. I caught him totally off guard as he didn't know what my intentions were. Now he understands my warped sense of humor and we're really good friends. It served him right because he's been suggestive for the last year. I guess when I write and talk on the phone I CAN get a little flirtatious, but it's just my nature.
> Did you ever try to look up the truck picture I scanned in? In case you didn't catch what I was babbling about…
Yes, I looked it up today. Very, very nice. You have the same grey Dakota Sport script on the side as I do. I think of all the DAKOTA SPORT logos I've seen, ours is the nicest.
> It's hard to motivate myself to actually do any work.
Well maybe I shouldn't write you at work. Just finish your project and talk to me when you get home. I have to tell you, that I'm just as bad. Even though I don't have access to the internet at work -- I must confess that I compose a lot of stuff in word, bring it home and send it over. Can't help myself!!
Oh, I wanted to ask you -- do you have any good morning radio shows there?? We have one that is borderline XXX. These two guys (Jessie and Jean) do the wildest pranks and practical jokes every morning. I must look like an idiot when I'm driving in because I can't stop laughing. They replay the entire week on either Saturday or Sunday. I was thinking of taping it for you because I think you would really appreciate it. If you want me to send it down to you, let me know your mailing address.
Write soon, or I'll get depressed.
Norah
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Wed, Nov 27, 1996, 06:26 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: You wanted mail?? -Reply -Reply
> 5 Jason’s there. Each one is getting questioned.
Sheesh, there were 5 Jason’s on my dorm floor my first year in college (out of 18 guys). There were only 3 Dave’s. When we would bring anyone new onto the floor, we would tell them if they saw a guy and couldn't remember his name, to first try Jason then Dave before asking.
I can just see some 85 year old named Jason sitting at home watching TV when one of your friends calls and asks him, "have you been seeing Norah?" "Who?" "Never mind." <click> "Damned kids today..."
> I got my 2nd telephone line installed today and picture day.
Good deal. I'm looking forward to seeing it. I thought about getting a second line for my computer, but I figure it isn't really necessary since I've got the cell phone.
> I was just teasing. I could have hung up anytime I wanted to. I just didn't want to!!
Well, I hope you would have at least warned me first before hanging up... (just kidding).
> You are very easy to talk to and a lot more interesting than you give yourself credit for.
I seem to keep thanking you for complimenting me. I sure hope I'm not blushing or anything. My co-workers will start wondering what kind of mail I've been getting.
A few years ago, one of my roommate's female friends from Nevada whom I had met once called to talk to him. He wasn't home, but I ended up talking to her for almost three hours. She said she had no idea that I was so interesting to talk to. My response? "Neither did I."
> I'll remind you to make the coffee before bed.
Good. I did try one thing my brother suggested. He said if you put a second filter over the grounds, it distributes the water more evenly and you can make it just as strong with less coffee. It took a lot longer but seemed to work. I'll have to experiment to see exactly how much coffee it saves me.
> How nice - a guy who listens to what is being said – another refreshing change.
Every time someone tries to tell me “Well every guy does this, says that, or thinks some way", I say, "well, I'm not every guy." There are decent men out there. Unfortunately, it seems like the arrogant assholes are much more likely to hit on women, so they're the ones that end up going home with them.
My brother has a book that he found in the humor section at Barnes & Noble. He thinks it should be in the self-help section. It's called "Nice Guys Don't Get Laid." It has the self-test to see if you're a nice guy (I am), tells you all about why women find you boring, and how to make yourself over into an abusive jerk. I have no desire to do that to myself, but it does make a few good points. This is probably just bitterness and frustration at work, but it sure seems like women stay with guys they can't stand. Until they've been married to one for a while like you have, when they realize that they're not all they're cracked up to be.
I suppose that the nice guys just need to learn to be less timid and approach women.
> I've only been pulled over that one time and you know all about the outcome of that.
Oh, yeah. I'd almost forgotten about that. The campus cops employed by the U of U are the same guys the zoo hires for security during the day. I know this because I worked in concessions at the zoo one summer in high school and saw one of their security guards patrolling around campus at night. I asked him if they really let him drive one of those expensive cop cars around. He said he was just standing next to some other guy's so he could look cool. (I wasn't impressed.)
> Slow down, this is the time of night where my brain shuts down (power-saver mode).
Sorry. I was just trying to make up a lot of technical-sounding BS to illustrate a point. It's not really important. Don't worry about it.
> As strange as it may sound, I've even managed to learn things from stupid people.
Wow. I think the only thing of value I've ever learned from one is why I need to avoid them.
> Determination and Problem solving are my specialty
I know what you mean. I get personally involved in problems, to the point where they become a quest. What I could solve in 20 minutes by asking someone who knows I will spend all day on before I will admit defeat. Asking for help would be like stopping to ask for directions if I were lost. Men just can't do that, even me.
> Jeans & t-shirts
I'm supposed to wear a dress shirt and Dockers. Basically, just one stop short of a tie . I want to wear shorts and a t-shirt. We compromise. I wear long pants and shirts with buttons unless we have outside visitors in the office. It's not like the computer cares what I look like. They tried to tell me that I would be more productive if I felt dressed up, but I told them that I feel uncomfortable and just sit and fidget all day long.
> I guess when I write and talk on the phone I CAN get a little flirtatious, but it's just my nature.
Gee, I hadn't noticed that. That sounds sarcastic, but I really hadn't. Maybe with all of the shit you've been through lately, you've toned it down. Or am I just oblivious?
> I think of all the DAKOTA SPORT logos I've seen, ours is the nicest.
I also like the emerald green with forest green stripe. I am partial to emerald green, since that's what color my Neon was, also my eyes. I used to tell people that I got the car in that color because it matched my eyes.
> I don't have access to the internet at work -- I must confess that I compose a lot of stuff in word, bring it home and send it over. Can't help myself!!
They might as well give you access. It would probably save you time. At any rate, even if you do send something to me at my personal ISP, I get it here at work. I've got a forward file set up to send stuff on over so I can get it no matter where I am. I can't figure out how to do that with GroupWise[39], so if you send me something at work I can't read it from home.
[radio morning shows]
Most of the ones we have think they're a lot funnier than they really are. They're real perverts, and just end up harassing all of the women that call in. The one I listen to is on the alternative station. I like this station because they don't use any of the loud, we're the greatest, yeah, yeah, station ids. They used to say "We're X 96[40], and we don't suck. At least, not very much." Their morning show guys are really conceited, but they're pretty low volume (good for mornings) and at least they recognize women as people rather than sex objects.
If you want to send tapes or anything else, I’ll give you my home address
> Write soon, or I'll get depressed.
Can't have that. You might fit in in Utah, where we have the highest per-capita consumption of Jell-O[41], ice cream and Prozac[42].
I know the feeling though. I was getting pretty bored and kept thinking, "come on, Norah, send me some more mail so I'll have something to do." I was glad to see that you did.
Well, I just went back over this mail to see how long it was. I'm pretty impressed with myself. I'd better stop babbling before I crash our mail handler.
Talk to you later,
-- Jason
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Wed , Nov 27, 1996, 10:11 PM (EST)
To: Jason
From: Norah
Subject: Good Evening Jason
> … complimenting me…
Ok, ok. I'll stop complimenting you. Don't get too conceited now!
> I'll have to experiment to see exactly how much coffee it saves me.
I'm not big in the patience department. I want my coffee as soon as I get up and it has to be just right. That 1st cup will make or break my day. If you saw my freezer, you'd die. I've got 6 different types of coffee. I don't drink a lot of it (2 or 3 cups a day -- is that a lot?) but I want quality. Espresso is nice once in a while too.
> There are decent men out there. Unfortunately, it seems like the arrogant assholes are much more likely to hit on women, so they're the ones that end up going home with them.
Yep, you're right again.
> My brother has a book that he found in the humor section at Barnes & Noble. He thinks it should be in the self-help section. It's called "Nice Guys Don't Get Laid."
"Laid"? What's that - it's been so long I don't remember
> It has the self-test to see if you're a nice guy (I am)...
Good.
> ... tells you all about why women find you boring, and how to make yourself over into an abusive jerk.
Don't do it or I won't talk to you anymore!!!
> I have no desire to do that to myself… but it sure seems like women stay with guys they can't stand. Until they've been married to one for a while like you have.
If you only knew the whole story. It would fill a novel.
> I suppose that the nice guys just need to learn to be less timid and approach women.
Depends on how well one handles rejection. I think for every 20 rejections, you get one that works out. Most people give up around 5 (except for the assholes).
> … stupid people… I think the only thing of value I've ever learned from one is why I need to avoid them.
You got it Pontiac[43]. That's exactly what I learned.
> Asking for help would be like stopping to ask for directions if I were lost. Men just can't do that, even me.
Yup - what is with this? Why are men afraid to ask for directions? I don't understand. I don't care what people think - I just want to get to where I'm going.
> Gee, I hadn't noticed that. Maybe with all of the shit you've been through lately, you've toned it down.
I have toned it down, but every once in a while it sneaks out.
>> Yes, I looked it up today. Very, very nice. You have the same grey Dakota Sport script on the side as I do. I think of all the DAKOTA SPORT logos I've seen, ours is the nicest.
> I am partial to emerald-green, since that's what color my Neon was, also my eyes. I used to tell people that I got the car in that color because it matched my eyes.
Match your eyes??? This has got to stop - we have just far too much in common. I have green eyes too.
> I can't figure out how to do that with GroupWise, so if you send me something at work I can't read it from home.
So, I'll just keep sending to your home.
>> Write soon, or I'll get depressed.
> Can't have that. You might fit in in Utah, where we have the highest per-capita consumption of Jell-O, ice cream and Prozac.
Here it's Ativan[44] and alcohol.
> I know the feeling though. I was getting pretty bored and kept thinking, "come on, Norah, send me some more mail so I'll have something to do."
So, you want mail... Just ask, I'll comply. Must be nice not to have to go back to work until Monday. What are you going to do with all of your time?? Going home for Thanksgiving??? I'm stuck on call again. It's not that bad so far this week and next week should be ok as well. I'm second on call - so Number 1 must be solving all the problems. The following two weeks will be the killer - I'll be first on call with the laptop - OH JOY. Guess I'll plug it into the other line. I wonder if I can handle AS/400 problems and E-mail to you at the same time??? There's a challenge!!
Last Saturday was very unusual because I was talking to my friend Rob in Kansas City when one of the guys from work phoned down there with a problem. What does he say: Hang on a sec, let me ask Norah what we should do? Now everybody thinks that I flew down to Kansas City for the weekend. Do you see how reputations start??? Now they're bugging me that there's a US and a Canada merger happening. Couldn't be further from the truth. But I told you, these guys pick on me a lot and I have to be on guard at all times. But it's fun.
Ok - so I've never talked to anyone on the phone as much as I did to you last night. Now, I can honestly say that I've never written to anyone as much as I have with you. It was good for me -- was it good for you??
I don't think this one was as long as your last one. I guess you've won the competition. But wait - I may surprise you yet.
Keep those cards and letters coming in...
Norah
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Wed, Nov 27, 1996, 11:20 PM (MST)
To: Norah
From: Jason
Subject: Re: Good Evening Jason
> Ok, ok. I'll stop complimenting you. Don't get too conceited now!
Well, you don't necessarily have to go that far :-). I was thinking of the line where you said you might go after me yourself if I were a few years older. I think that one got me. I'm just not used to this sort of attention, that's all.
[coffee]
I've been drinking two cups a day plus about two or three Diet Coke’s[45] in the afternoon. I can't sleep at night, and I'm still tired all day long. I've heard many times that too much caffeine will screw up your sleeping patterns, so I'm going to try to go to part or mostly decaf and see what happens.
> "Laid"? What's that - it's been so long I don't remember.
I had to look it up. Then I had to get a biology textbook to see what that meant. Fortunately, my dictionary lists all of the slang terms.
> … becoming an abusive jerk… Don't do it or I won't talk to you anymore!!!
Don't worry. I would have to stop talking to myself as well, and then where would I be? Hmmm... that statement might be interpreted differently from how I meant it. That might actually be more appropriate. I originally meant that I would lose all respect for myself. I might also stop talking to myself.
> If you only knew the whole story. It would fill a novel.
Or a really long e-mail. I'm willing to listen if you ever want to spell it out. Or not, whatever you want to do.
> Depends on how well one handles rejection.
I would need the self-image of steel. Correction... I *will* need it. I thought for a while that I would give up on the whole business and be done with relationships. Then my best friend had to go and get a girlfriend and tell me about all of the things I was missing out on. So much for the "I don't need women" idea. Now I just need to figure out how to rejection-proof my psyche.
That reminds me. I wanted to ask your opinion on something. I usually don't go out with Mormon girls, because it almost certainly wouldn't work out in the long run. Given the rarity of non-Mormons around here, I've started thinking of making that a general guideline rather than a stand-fast rule. (There's nobody specific if that's what you're wondering.) Even if it doesn't work out, what the hell? It would be fun to go out with somebody for a change, and I could probably use the practice. Obviously, she would have to be a really open-minded Mormon if she's going to put up with my behavior. Sort of goes along with the idea that I need to stop looking for "Miss Right" and just get out and have a good time. As Robin Williams says, if you can't find Miss Right, look for Miss Right Now.
> Why are men afraid to ask for directions?
It's like surrendering. We can't admit that we need someone's help in order to navigate.
> Match your eyes??? This has got to stop - we have just far too much in common. I have green eyes too.
I don't suppose you have straight brunette hair.
OK, stop right there, Jason. Yes, that's what my hair looks like, but part of the reason I'm asking is because I think it's really attractive on women. Don't worry, I'm not going to start asking you for your measurements or anything next. Aside from the fact that I think that's tacky, I'm more interested in women from the neck up (face, hair, mind, personality). I know those last two are most important, but I can't ignore looks. My idealism only goes so far.
(Don't get the wrong impression. I'm just clowning around. But you probably already knew that didn’t you?)
> Here it's Ativan and alcohol.
What's Ativan? Obviously Utah ranks almost dead last in alcohol.
> I wonder if I can handle AS/400 problems and E-mail to you at the same time??? There's a challenge!!
Multitasking at its finest.
My parents are having Thanksgiving at their house. I usually go up there at least once a week, so it isn't too much of a journey. There's supposed to be a huge snowstorm coming in tomorrow night, so I might just stay there overnight. We'll wait and see.
> But I told you, these guys pick on me a lot and I have to be on guard at all times. But it's fun.
I certainly hope you retaliate in kind every chance you get.
So, did you ever find out what happened with their search for me? I still laugh every time I think about it.
I think Rob in Kansas City should have just patched over to you and pretended that you were in the room. That's pretty funny.
> … never written or talked to anyone this much... It was good for me -- was it good for you??
Ooh, baby. Don't get me started. Don't forget, you're dealing with repressed raging 23-year-old hormones here. (Yeah, whatever...)
> I guess you've won the competition. But wait - I may surprise you yet.
I'm eager with anticipation. (I told you not to get me started. Now look what you've done. I think I need a cold shower or something.)
Well, this is great fun, but I think I'm headed off to bed. I'll try and log in as much as I can over the weekend. I don't know yet what I'm going to be doing, though. If I don't write for a day or two, I haven't forgotten about you, I'm just away from a terminal.
On second thought, the neighbors' baby just started crying. Sleep may be a virtual impossibility. I'd better try for some, though. That's one of the worst things about living in a condo. That and not having a garage.
Be talking to you,
-- Jason
Psi Corps is your friend. Trust Psi Corps.
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Norah's Musings 